There is no way we could ever adequately express our thankfulness to you guys for your love and prayers, to Dr. Burton and Dr. Alexander and to our Lord for what happened two years ago today. This video chronicles Stellan from the day he was born three years ago to the day he was healed two years ago.

We continue to be beyond thankful and amazed. Thank you guys so very, very much for your part in our son’s healing.

Happy 2nd rebirthday, Stellan.

What a day.

It was perfectly spent with our family, showing God we were thankful for what He brought about in Stellan’s life in what seemed just the perfect way. After a full experience giving back, visiting, being filled with both sadness and hope at “Stellan’s” Children’s Hospital today, this time not with him as a patient, we vowed to do the same thing again next year. On the drive home, the song “Don’t Forget To Remember” on one of our kids’ favorite CDs started to play. It was the perfect soundtrack for our day today. For my mindset of late. Our children get it, too. The magnitude with which our older children grasp what has happened with Stellan blew me away today. The ferociousness with which they were ready to give back. It was beautiful. Stellan gets it, too, in his own little way. To tell you the truth, we figured, if Stellan even survived, his SVT and heart stuff would be something he dealt with constantly. For the rest of his life. We talked about how we longed for him to have at least some normalcy in his existence and that we didn’t want his heart condition to totally define him.

Little did we know that, at only two years old, his struggles are only a very distant memory for him. Instead of growing up always being sick, always aware of his special heart, his is now a story we will have to tell him. Amazing.

I wanted to video him today, on his first rebirthday. We talked after bath tonight. Here is a short clip:

StellanOnHisFirstReBirthday from Jennifer McKinney on Vimeo.

If he understood what you all did for him, he would want to say thank you to you, too, just as he thanked Jesus. My husband and I are still so overcome that so many of you loved, and still love, Stellan like he is family. That you spent so much time in prayer for him is something we do not take lightly. Thank you. I read through every single comment on Stellan’s rebirthday post. That was powerful, doing that. Hearing from those of you who related how you spent last November 9 and where you were when you heard Stellan’s home run news was almost an out of body experience. Please know that the love and prayers you all gave us were very much felt. Still are. They buoyed me, helped me to refocus, were a vehicle with which God brought me strength during those darkest days of Stellan’s life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For sharing your stories with us in return, for praying, for daring to hope against hope along with us. For following Stellan’s story, and our story…and for being an integral part of that story along the way.

I encourage you, don’t forget to remember. Remember God’s power that you saw displayed. Remember what He did. Remember that He is sovereign no matter what, even if Stellan had been miraculously healed in Heaven and not on earth. Remember what you witnessed.

Thank you, dear ones. And don’t forget to remember.

It has been one year. Words fail me.

Sometimes, it is not difficult for me to find the words to explain something, be it what we did that day, how I’m feeling or what my opinion is on a matter. My eyes have become dry from staring at this blank, white page, though. This time, I don’t know quite what to say. Words fail me.

How can I put what Stellan’s one year rebirthday means to our family onto paper? The months of prayers lifted up on our son’s behalf before he was even born, how do I find words to adequately express our gratitude for those? Where would I start to look for ways to describe what it felt like to watch my son struggle for his life, to see him nearly die in front of my very eyes? Dr. B, Dr. A and the entire medical team who worked tirelessly to give our son a chance at life on this earth, could I ever thank them enough? How do I cause my lips to form the songs of praise that would even come close to doing justice to what God did in our little Stellan’s life? Where do I turn to make sense of the unfairness of it all, that children with whom Stellan shared many ICU days, weeks and months flew to Heaven already, leaving their parents on earth without them? How do I blog about last year’s miraculous home run?

November 9. A year ago at this moment Stellan was in the roughest shape of his entire one year of life, as doctors struggled to keep him alive long enough to get him into surgery to work on his heart, which was beating more than twice as fast as it was supposed to. It has been one year since Stellan’s rebirth. Since simultaneously the worst and best day of his entire life…and mine, too. Since he was in complete heart failure. Since his tired little heart stopped as he lay on the table in front of me. Since he was wheeled away from me for his second ablation, the outlook more than grim. Since my husband rushed to board a plane, flying to Boston to meet us. Since so many of you stormed the gates of Heaven on our son’s behalf, begging God to spare his life. One year. It seems like so much longer than that. As if the first year of Stellan’s life was already a lifetime ago.

It is nearly midnight. Stellan is asleep in his bed as I write this, unaware of the magnitude of this day that is upon us. But I am aware. Aware of how God stepped in and guided the hands of the doctors, bringing Stellan from death to life. Aware of what could have been. Aware of the breathtaking scope of the gift we were given. Aware of God’s power. Aware of life.

Because I knew I wouldn’t have the words today, I put together a video. (Make sure your volume is on!) It is with a return of sadness, remembered hope and a renewed rejoicing that I relive Stellan’s first year of life with you. From the time he was placed on my chest the day he was born, where this video begins, to where the video ends on November 9 of last year, when Stellan lay on his daddy’s chest, at peace and free at last from the chains of SVT that had him in bondage since before he was even born, this is the story of his struggle and victory. Being reminded of how far Stellan has come makes me thankful anew for the perfect, healthy two year old boy that he is today. A boy that countless times we handed to God, trusting Him with what He did with Stellan. A boy that God, for now, has handed back to us, to love on as we live together on earth.

Happy one year rebirthday, Stellan. You are a miracle.