Jennifer, I have been away from the computer for a while now and just caught up. While I have rarely posted, I have followed your blog since a prayer request was left on Asher and Jacob’s Friends (the site I ran and am currently on sabbatical from) when Stellan was born. I have prayed for your family almost daily since then and am heartbroken to learn you are facing a new challenge in your journey. Coming from a family of divorced parents, I know what an uphill battle this can be both on the couple and the children. Please know my prayers are with you, your husband, and your children as the Holy Spirit guides you along this journey. No matter the outcome, I trust that God will wrap each of you in His arms and will hold you close along the way. Without a doubt, I believe God will take the broken hearts of you and your family and will rebuild them stronger than ever. I am honored you have shared this deeply personal experience on your blog and am humbled to be one of the many who will pray and hold your family in my heart.
After reading through some of the comments I had to go back and look at the picture to see if I missed something. But nope! I see a little boy that looks a lot like I do when I am concentrating-although I tend to move my lips mroe than biting my lip. He just looks like he is fixed on what he is looking at.
Hang in there. Your kids are in a stable home with normal activities. That is the best you can do for them and yourself. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Jennifer, only focus on the things that are good and the things that bring you a smile and you will have peace. Don’t forget to breathe from your belly good and strong sometimes when we are under stress we forget to breathe…. You’ll be ok, this too shall pass….. You are important, you are signifigant, you really matter to a lot of people……
I know you get lots of comments and advice and verbal hugs/prayers/etc. so I usually don’t try to post anything. Though almost everything you have been doing I have been doing, some of it at the same time. And as I would love to tell you my thoughts, I usually just thank God for you and for the good things that can come from the internet.
I have felt the numbness, the nothingness, the not caring if I eat or breath or get up or anything. The denial, the disbelief, the doubt, the fear. And I have felt my crazy impatient mind screaming, “Where are you, God?!?” I have been empty, and without hope. It is not a place I’d ever thought I’d be. Even when our first child was stillborn, I had a small glimmer of hope underneath the darkness that God was there and there would be good for His glory from her death.
But this last diffictul part of life, there was no hope. No light in the darkness. And it was mostly my fault because I gave in to the sadness and told myself there was no hope and blamed myself. I was somewhat isolated from support but I also isolated myself deliberatly, thinking I didn’t deserve it. I told myself to remember the truths I had been taught about God, but I didn’t believe them.
When I finally started feeling hope again, I almost couldn’t believe it, literally didn’t believe it was real, and it took a long time to trust the light of hope in me. I am feeling more like myself now, more often and I am again feeling the old Sarah, who never lost hope in any situation.
I hate myself sometimes, and still push myself into that dark. Sometimes that is where we need to be.
One day I found myself on the floor of my bathroom wondering how I could end things, since there was no hope, but my 3 small children were waking up. Who would care for them that day? They were pressure and stress on me, but also they were my busy work. My mind is often left to itself (stay at home mom with not many outside connections) and I created much in my head that should not have been there. There must be a reason I went through that, though I am still too close to it to know, and it still has a hold on me some.
A very good and trusted friend sent me some of your posts last year as I was going through this, and some things you talked about helped me. I have kept up with your blog for several months now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I won’t make many comments but don’t because I see you have a lot! I will always pray for you and send my support your way. Something I am encouraged to remember by my friend is that God knows everything and has a plan that we are not always meant to understand. Ever. And that seeking Him, being still, and daily looking for His plan is all that will get us through some things. Sometimes we are meant to be in the dark.
Music helps me, too. I love music. This morning I heard a song that I have felt speaks my heart.
Maybe if you get a chance, you can feel it speak for you. “Protest to Praise” by Downhere http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA599gnSJRc
I just want to comment that although I do not know you, I admire very much that you are putting all of this out there for Jennifer’s benefit. You have great faith and courage and strength and love for your children and they will thrive because of the person that you are in their lives.
On a practical note, try to involve yourself in a personal interest class or activity just for you. It will have the benefit of something fun for you plus being around other people who also have this similar interest. Perhaps something that you could take with your children as well.
I applaud your efforts to keep your children’s lives running as smoothly or close to “normal” as possible. I have no children but I do have a marriage in dire straits. You are a very brave lady and I am have tremendous admiration for you. Stay strong and close to your loved ones.
I agree, Jennifer is very brave and I hope that these encouraging comments can help her realize that she can make it through this. With time, she will begin to feel better and she’ll be able to crawl up out of this pain and she will survive and thus begins the next chapter in her life.
if she doesn’t want negative comments, then she shouldn’t post her life story – she is asking for both praise and critism with her posts and pictures. It takes 2 to end a marrige or choose to separate.
She is a good Mom and I”m sure her children will be just fine.
“Its takes 2 to end a marriage or choose to separate” … what about those spouses who are faithful and do all they can to hold together their marriage and the other spouse decides to leave? Your statement is so blanket and not true to all situations.
I beg to differ about your phrase ‘it takes 2 to end a marriage or choose to separate’ and I think Summer responded just as I would have. I was in a marriage, until my ex-husband decided he didn’t want to do counseling, try, attempt anything. There was nothing I could do but watch everything unfold before my very eyes. Most often, yes, it takes 2. But not always!
“Christ is building His kingdom with earth’s broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth’s broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth’s saddest failure up to heaven’s glory.”
? J.R. Miller
Hey. This is going to be tricky for me to write but I guess honesty is the best policy so I will go with that!
Jennifer, I am a LONG time lurker, since before Stellan was born. I have read your blog posts and watched your children grow up through this blog.
About a month ago, I wanted to know what your youngests real name was because I honestly didnt know. Thats when I found the hater site.
I read the site with interest, All the links and everything, and I started to believe it (again, I am being honest so please just read) , When you read the things they have wrote, it starts to make sense in your own head. But does it?
I even posted there once or twice saying stuff along the lines of….’I cant believe she has been lying to us , I have followed her and feel betrayed by the lies etc etc. ‘
BUT then, I looked at the bigger picture. You are a mum, with 5 kids. I am also a mum. And as I started to REALLY read the comments on the hater site , I felt bad that I ever posted there. Not GUILTY, because they do have a way of making things believable and I was sucked in. We have all been in a similar situaion before.
But I did feel bad that I had commented on a site designed to destroy you. Why? Because I realised the truth. You are not a bad person. Not at all. I think you have a very kind haert actualy. And even tho I did doubt you, reading the comments on the hater site and the depth they go into to try and bring you down has just sent me runing back your way. I realised that they would try to make anything believable. Because that is their aim. I honestly cannot believe that some people would spend their lives looking at your life. They really do need to focus on themselves. I feel bad for them .
You know the one thing that really made me see the light? Your dignified silence. I could not live with a bunch of people tearing me down commenting on everything thats wrong about me ona daily basis. And you have lived with it and not given them the satisfaction of biting back. And that really shows who is the better person. I think your silence speaks volumes about your character and you should be proud.
You should be proud of yourself and your darling kids. They dont deserve the hater site. You dont deserve it.
The hater site also says you monitor all comments and dont allow some to go through, but i hope you allow this to go through. Because I want people to read my opinion on the whole thing. Maybe others will speak up who have been on the hater site.
Even they know they are taking things too far now. They are out of hand. I am not accusing you, but if you have ever told a little white lie, Honestly, Who Cares? We have all done it. And that is my conclusion. These people tearing you down are bullies. Even tho I have posted on the site , I have not said anything bad about you directly, just that I was upset to hear that maybe this blog is a lie. Which I have now realised It is not.
You keep doing what you are doing and hold your head high. Well done with the weight loss, well done keeping the kids safe when you are going through this tricky time, and well done for being the bigger person through all of this.
I wish peace for you and your family jennifer, I really do. Take care. X
I am glad you saw the light and realized just what those “haters” are capable. They are horrible and the way they treat the people who do go there in defense of Jennifer, and share their opinion, just shows their true character. They say how they welcome all opinions, but they only welcome those that align with their horrendous accusations de-grading opinions and spins of the truth. They are truly a sick bunch of people and one day…you know what they say about karma!
Sadly, I think that the haters have taken things to a place where they have done a lot of damage to MckMamma. They would like to say it is all “her own fault”. Truth be told we all have “stuff” and if people want to pick every piece of our lives apart….well we would all be in trouble. Thank God…Jesus came to save broken people. I know I am one. Jesus came for all….Mckmamma, the haters, and me…..ok…stepping down off of my soap box!
Wow, why would any one make a hater web sight about such a sweet, sweet family? I’m glad you were wise enough to get away from that, it’s probably pretty easy to get caught up in stuff like that. I think Jennifer and her family are gorgeous and I hope that they can work their marriage out and stay together forever….
I am with Joybells – they really have a Hater website against Jennifer? I can’t believe people don’t have anything better to do than focus on one person’s life and tear it apart! Feel very sorry for them that this is the focus of their life and that they feel the need to do that. Really can’t even absorb the whole idea. It seems so crazy! Blessings to Jennifer and her family during this hard time…
Big Mac is such a gorgeous child. He looks like he is concentrating hard on his studies. If he really is sad as so many of you have mentioned, don’t you think the child has a right to be? His beloved daddy is no longer at home with him, I am sure that would make most kids sad.
Either way, I wish for the best for him and his siblings. They deserve to be happy no matter what is going on between their parents.
For Jennifer, I am praying for you. Hang in there.
I am so sorry for your hurt and pain. It makes me sick to think people have so much time on their hands to bash your family. I have six kids and I have had kidney stones and my two youngest sons were premature does that make me a liar? Please leave this family alone worry about your kids and your own business. I don’t care about her bank problems or where she lives that is her business. And to try and get info on her is just sick like you have nothing better to do. Jenn, I am sorry you are hurting I dont usually post but this bullying has to stop. You dont deserve that. I am sure the people doing all this have a bunch of skeletons in their closets. I for one am not perfect.
I usually don’t post “personal” replies publicly. But at this point, I really do want to share my heart with Jennifer. And Israel, too, if he happens to be reading here.
And to the kids.
For Lachlan:
You’re so young. I hope and pray that you’ll grow up knowing that your mommy and daddy, imperfect as we all are before stepping into eternity in heaven, love you. I hope your young brain retains memories of all of you together, laughing. I hope you remember wrestling and whisker-kisses and the way your mommy lives so intensely and gladly and uncomplainingly gave all of her time and love to all of you – even to your daddy. You’re younger than I was when my parents split… actually, you’re the same age my baby cousin was. She’s sixteen now. And she still remembers. I hope you will. And I hope it makes you smile. It’s okay to remember what you had. Especially the good parts. And I pray that you grow to know and trust that God will never, ever leave you.
For Stellan:
Sweet little boy. So much of your life has been spent fighting. Fighting to breathe, fighting to live. Just… fighting. You’ve displayed such strength… and it’s not so much your survival that shows it. It’s your smile. It’s your joy. It’s the trust you have in your parents. You are old enough that the absence of your daddy is going to hurt, no matter how long or short this absence turns out to be. I (and many others, I’m sure) pray that you do get to know him as you grow. I also pray that even though your world is turned upside-down right now, the things that have NOT changed help you feel safe. That the stability you DO have around you helps you to develop that calm assurance in GOD that we all must find.
For Maise:
I might have spelled your name wrong. I’ve been known to do that, especially with names I don’t use every day. But there is someone who knows so much more than how to spell your name… who sees it all the time. He has written it on the palm of His hand, and He loves you unconditionally and eternallly. Your God can be relied on and trusted always. Even if everyone else around you is making you sad or angry, even if you can’t FEEL Him or hear His voice… He never leaves. He walks through everything. Some people will say that it’s hard to be “the only girl with so many boys.” I guess maybe they are right in some ways. But you DO have a good example in your mother. She will love you regardless of how girly or tom-boyish you are. If you watch her, you’ll learn how to be. Especially, watch her faith. Watch how she is unafraid to tell God that her heart is breaking and how she asks Him questions – easy ones and hard ones. And watch how through it all, she trusts Him. She believes He is good, and present. Watch THAT, Maisie, and learn from it… and you will truly grow into a beautiful woman.
For Cullen:
You, of all your siblings, remind me most of myself. Like you, I used to catch everything I could. I wanted to keep every creature, but I knew I couldn’t… so I would eventually let them go. Like you, I was smart and engaging. Like you, I was so compassionate toward those animals. That compassion can do so much to enrich your life, sweet boy. I pray that it does that, and only that. It also opens things up for you to maybe feel guilt or responsibility about things that really aren’t your fault or responsibility at all. I know your mommy will do her best to make it clear to all of you, that this is not your fault. And I also know that your daddy loves you, and he does not blame you for any of the bad things that have happened. I pray that you keep your fascination with all things living, and your gentle but very much strong nature. God has given you a gift – a gift that helps you see the world as beautiful and precious, and safe to explore. Hang onto that… it will help you stay close to Him.
For Kieran:
You are the “big brother.” I’ve heard so much about you… and you really might be the best big brother in the world. I know you love your sister and your brothers. I also know you love your mommy and your daddy. You’re smart – you figure out things kids your age often times can’t. And you’re a builder, like your daddy. Your desire to protect your brothers and sister, and you’re “fix it, build it, make it” attitude is going to pull on you in days to come. You’ll want to help them, you’ll want to fix things for them and comfort them and protect them. And that’s okay to want. It’s okay to do what you can. But don’t forget that you are still a kid, and you still need to be taken care of too. You still need to let your mommy comfort you. And you are allowed to feel sad or angry or afraid. I pray that your faith stays simple and child-like, and that your love for God lets you grow up at the speed you’re supposed to, instead of too fast.
For Jennifer:
We’ve never met face to face. I’ve read here for years; we have a mutual friend. That friend is one of thsoe exceptionally beautiful, generous, inspiring people that stays in your heart no matter what the distance and time separating her from you is. I know she loves you; I hope that right now, you’re letting her do so. But more importantly, I hope that you are remembering the true source of your strength. I hope you are somehow experiencing that peace that passes all understanding. You’ve said you’re not sure if you’re strong enough for this. I’ve thought about those words tonight. And the truth is, you’re not. Not even close. You are fallible. You are HUMAN, and you’re still on earth, not in heaven. But your God? He’s perfect. He’s FAITHFUL. He’s mighty. And even when it seems like he is so far away and not there the way we need… even then, He really IS. We walk through nothing alone. You’ve got to be strong for your kids right now, that’s true. But you don’t have to be without sadness or anger or fear or any other emotion. Emotions are okay. You’ve got two parents who love you, and your sister, and friends. I can’t begin to understand, not really, what you are going through just now. I’m not going to even try to speculate as to WHY Israel has made the decision he has; it’s none of my business, really. Your marriage, your life, your family – I only know and share as much as you share here, and once in a while through the friend we share, and even less frequently, by encountering your dad at Subway or riding his bike on Bliss Road. But in the years that I’ve been reading your words, and sharing that little bit of your life, I’ve grown to love you. I pray for you and I will KEEP praying for you.
For Israel:
The choice you made, to leave your family, isn’t one I can understand. I don’t know you, I don’t know them. I don’t KNOW what went into this, I don’t KNOW what it is to live your life. And without that… I really cannot understand. What I DO understand, is forgiveness. I understand that GOD forgives us, for everything. I understand choices… I understand that they sometimes are worse than they appear, and sometimes they are absolutely NOTHING like they seem from the outside. I understand that your wife, no matter what else has or has not been true, does love you. I understand that you have worked hard to provide for your family. I believe you love them; I really do. I suspect that their hearts are feeling shattered just now; but I suspect yours is too. I pray that God would give you clarity and guidance, and that He would give you courage and strength as well.
I don’t know; maybe this isn’t a ‘typical’ comment. I’m not interested in presenting judgment or predictions or analyzing anything. I just want to share a bit of my heart for each of the members of this family.
So beautifully written! I don’t know Jennifer and the children other than through her blogs but I pray that she, and they, will find comfort in your words.
Beautiful!!!! Thank you for being obedient. I am BAWLING my eyes out right now. What a gift you have just given. Bless your heart!!!! Praying for this precious family!!!!
You speak for me. For many. You took the time to listen to God and write His words down. For Jennifer and her family – and for us. God bless you for this gift. You spoke His words to each person and I thank you for caring so much. God
Bless you.
Man, he has great hair! H & M model maybe? Hope you’ve done well through the weekend. Love this photo…I can tell he’s getting smarter by the minute. ((Hugs from Alabama))
Just praying for you and your family. One day at a time is all you can do and pray. I have been following your blog for quite sometime as well as another blog called kingdom twindom and her situation from a year agao that she blogged about sounds very similiar to what your going through now. It might be helpful to have a blog friend to talk with. Here is the website http://kingdomtwindom.net/
Hey Jennifer!
Reading through these comments is exhausting- don’t know how you do it.
All for a picture of your son who is doing his school work.
Crazy!
Kids make a thousand faces during the day and I am amazed at how many “experts” you have on hand to let you know about the psychological toll your current situation is having on your kids from one picture.
My dad left my mom when my brother and I were young- it was sad, but we did just fine.
My mom loved and still loves the Lord and she did a great job raising us.
We both graduated from college and are happily married.
Not that those things are always important but it spells success in today’s world.
Maybe some things were harder for us than others, but I don’t really remember thinking of it that way.
We just knew my mom was great and loved the Lord.
You don’t need to be reminded of the “psychological toll”- that’s just lies from the enemy.
Just pray and be there for your kids- like you always have.
God’s got it and He knows what you need.
I am praying for you and think it is awesome about you getting in shape. Bravo.
You are a great mom!
Well said. Not all children who have parents that have separated or divorced become emotional basket cases and fail to grow into healthy, educated, well adjusted adults. The key here was your mother’s love and committment to the Lord and how you knew that was a constant regardless of what was going on in the home. Jesus is the rock…unchanging.
And so goes the current state of the world and society. We complain about how rude and mean people are; and they are. We walk in NO ONE’S shoes but our own. We have no right to judge anyone. That is not our place unless a law has been broken, an indictment made and we are sitting on the jury. As for the plegerism(SP) claims, tips about lemon juice and baking soda have been around forever. It is common knowledge and there are only so many ways to state the benefits. What do you {(the haters) (since it appears you read every word written here)} have to gain by your attacks on this woman? I do not know this woman but I do read her blog. As with anything else I read, I self edit what will serve me and what will not. As for her personal life or finances or anything else, it is none of my business nor anyone else s’ unless she chooses to share it. I see and woman in pain currently and have the utmost compassion for her. I will be praying for her and her family and wish them well. My time is valuable to me so I choose to use it in my own way to try to help, not hurt or cause harm. Let them without sin cast the first stone.
I don’t see sadness…I see a little boy learning. But, if he was sad, it’s with good reason. His family has been torn apart. No need to analyze in my opinion. The world isn’t flat Jennifer, what goes around comes around full circle and those haters will eventually have to answer to someone at some point in their life. Keeping you all close in thought.
Hang in there Jen!! I also see a little boy who is concentrating on his studies. Out of all the blogs I visit, this is by far the most active blog when it comes to peoples opinions. WOW!!! People are NOT afraid to voice their views…good, bad or otherwises! It’s a good thing you have a backbone Jen b/c after reading some of the opinions, one WOULD need to be strong in order NOT to feel crushed by some of those words.
Keep on keeping Jen.
Chin Up…This Too Shall Pass!!!
This picture shows a very serious side of Big Mac. I was thinking about you in church today…I hope you were able to go…..being with other adults who love God can really be a powerful thing!
I am wondering if it is possible for the people that have been following Jennifer’s blog to join shoulders and support her during this time? I’m asking that you put pen to paper and write a letter to the Judge in her case about what you have seen going on line. Women from the hater blog have written the Judge in the guise of “concerned citizens” with the intention of having Jennifer’s bankruptcy denied so that she will be financially burdened the rest of her life, with no hope of escape.
I know there are a lot of people that have witnessed what has gone on. I don’t want to put words in anyone’s head about what to write. You will have to write from your own perspective, just as I have done.
Bullies in general get away with what they do because no one stands up for the one being bullied. There is a total imbalance of power. I can’t even begin to imagine the toll of what it feels like to be targeted 7 days a week/24 hours a day for several years now, as the McKinney’s have been. I’m sure that it has stressed the family in all aspects of their lives.
In all of that time I have never seen Jennifer say as much as a harsh word in response to any of these people. Have you?
Please pray about it and if you feel lead please write to (and send copies to all of the following-it is standard procedure in law to send copies to all parties involved):
Judge Dennis D. O’Brien
232 Warren Burger Federal Building and U.S. Courthouse
316 North Robert Street
St. Paul, MN 55101
Trustee:
Gene W. Doeling
121 Roberts St.
P.O. Box 423
Fargo, ND 58107-0423
Jennifer’s Attorney (include an extra copy in there for Jennifer):
Patty L. Wisecup
Wisecup Law Office
9766 Fallon Ave. N.E.
Suite 101
Monticello, MN 55362-4589 (zip was wrong on hater blog)
Where did I find these addresses? On the hater blog. They’ve been very busy.
I don’t know if it is necessary to write as the courts will investigate any accusations that people have written and if the claims are without merit the bankruptcy will proceed. I just think that having people write letters here will turn the entire court proceeding into a circus and it may do more harm than help and raise even more questions in the court’s eyes.
I think this is really another example to keep finances private and not share about any of that on a blog. I’m not being critical of Jennifer as I know this is an extremely difficult time for her, but the less shared about finances and other personal things along those lines, the less fuel for the fire for accusations to fly.
Even if she kept her finances private, their daily google searches would have turned up the bankruptcy filing. some people search her county’s court docket weekly, if not daily for the newest percieved “dirt”.
I have been an occasional lurker on this site. I have enjoyed a lot of the recipes and other posts I have read. I’m sorry for this hard time you are going through. I certainly wouldn’t want our difficult seasons in life analyzed and picked apart publically. As for the bankrupsty, if it is true that people are really trying to do that, please update us if anything comes to fruition, and tell your viewers how they can help.
For whatever reason Renee, Jennifer has chosen not to publicly ask for help. Anyone that has researched the hater site knows what is going on.
Please do your homework people. It’s time to circle the wagons.
Enough is enough. This has gone on too long. I hope to heaven that my “letter” gets out there. I have chronicled in detail what has been done to the McKinney family.
Thanks for the info. I’m not sure why a group of strangers have banded together to harass a woman. It’s really unbelievable. There are lots of people that are in politics, entertainment, etc., but I have not the notion, desire, or time to invest in researching their lives and badmouthing them on the the internet. Why go after a woman who blogs??? I’ve heard junk about money issues during Stellan’s illness, but really, it’s not our business. If people sent in money, they don’t get to determine how it’s spent. Give it a rest. The child is healed and healthy. They are all going through a difficult time and we are called to lift up one another in prayer.
Please , all haters, just stop reading. Your comments are not wanted. Go and live your life, work hard at your job, love your family and get to know Jesus Christ. He will change your heart and open your eyes to what you have been doing AND most importantly, He will forgive you. Just like He has for all us sinners that have committed our lives to Him. .
not a hater, not a beloved follower either…but to say that none of the “haters” know Jesus…that is ridiculous…just because you know Jesus doesn’t mean you have it all right all the time…failure or the sinful nature isn’t reserved for those who don’t know Jesus….they have been hurt too….many things have happened to many people because of “inconsistencies” with Jennifer….again…not a “hater”, not a “follower”, just a reader…hope things start to turn around for everyone’s sake…
I hear your point Sami but if the Judge only hears from the haters that is going to be an imbalanced presentation. They are writing, they have stated that fact over and over. Can you imagine the financial position that Jennifer will be in if the bankruptcy is denied? She will have no way to recover financially for the rest of her life. Especially given the damage that this hater blog has done to her business.
She bought this house because her blog was bringing in quite a bit of money. How was she suppose to forsee that a hater blog would start a campaign to destroy it? Because they have literally in one years time decreased Jennifer’s income by over $119K she could no longer afford that house, hence the reason they lost it. Yet, they throw it in her face that she did, when in fact they are the ones that made it happen.
I have to believe that information would be important to the Judge in making his decision, as well as other points in how this whole thing has unfolded.
Bullies get away with what they do because no one stands up to them.
I know that your intentions are good here Barb. Thank you for thinking of them. However, I do agree that it may cause more problems for Jennifer. We have always stood by “the TRUTH needs no defending.” And also GOD ALWAYS WINS!!! Sometimes we need to JUST PRAY. God hears our cries for help and He answers. Where two or three are agreeing together GOD MOVES. Jennifer has FAR more then two or three praying for her. God hears and GOD will move. GOD ALWAYS WINS!!!!!
Barb, I want to put this here in case you need to use it. Occasionally, when I have a strong stomach, I check there to see what the haters are up too. Most of the time I leave quickly because they are so vile and disgusting to me.
I also thought this might be useful for anyone who might want to see what they purpose to do to Jennifer.
This was posted by the moderator on the hater site today:
These past few days I’ve received a number of e-mails and have seen comments from individuals who read here regularly, from some who are new to the site and from one who has decided they should no longer participate here.
The e-mails and comments contain a variety of good points:
We are nitpicking.
We are being mean, vengeful and shallow.
We are speculating heavily.
We are taking things too far; there’s a difference between discussing inconsistencies and tearing someone down.
We are losing our ability to affect change in people’s minds and Jennifer’s life and our credibility, because so many choose to be rude, disgusting and to spawn lies.
They also ask questions:
At what point has Jennifer McKinney ‘paid enough’?
How much does she have to lose for it to be enough?
How much hate is there for an internet blogger and when will it end?
What now is the purpose of XXXX? What is next?
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See, even the honest readers of the site are well aware that they are disgusting and rude and that they spawn lies about Jennifer to destroy her. They say their purpose is to expose Jennifer’s inconsistencies, but actually they are the liars. They throw things out and gullible people come her and accuse Jennifer of things that are totally made up. Even to the point of crazy people threatening to call social services on her to have her children removed from her care.
They spew this hatred and then act as though they have had no personal responsibility for loss of income for Jennifer and her family.
I believe exposing this is good. You ladies have seen first hand how they come here, sometimes overtly and sometimes slyly, digging at Jennifer in her time of greatest need. They have absolutely no compassion for her or her children. I honestly believe that some of them will not be happy until they snuff the very life out of Jennifer, yes, some of them really are that evil and full of hate. They are internet bullies, plain and simple. This is why those who support Jennifer react harshly to those who leave unkind and accusing comments. The haters are not wanted here and rude comments are not going to be taken lightly, especially during this time when Jennifer needs support and encouragement.
I hope that we can pull together and love and protect Jennifer through this difficult time.
I was slightly encourage by Anja’s post, but once again the carnage began.
I can’t even begin to imagine what the McKinney’s have gone through these last several years. My point in writing to the Judge was to give him a heads up how this hater blog had a part in driving the McKinney’s into bankruptcy and also with interfering with every aspect of their lives. Calling CPS, writing sponsors so that they would drop Jennifer. To tell the truth, I wonder if all of this bullying and the stress from it has contributed to the present marriage situation. I hope and pray that the Judge intervenes in this case, there are cyber bullying laws in Minnesota.
I was very touched by Sami’s post over there the other day:
“I really feel like you’ve crossed the line. To post on here that Israel left her was completely heartless. That was for her to share if and when she was ready. To take something that was on her personal FB page and make it public was tacky and disgusting. I’m not sure when enough will be enough for some of you. When will it end? Her marriage ending in divorce? Her in an orange suit or baody bag? Her kids living with people other than their parents? I mean, what more destruction do you need to see in her life to make you happy? I really don’t understand.”
And now after “outing” Jennifer’s marriage situation they are now bashing her for discussing it at all. When in fact they are the ones that put it out there.
On top of that I’ve been worried about Jennifer myself. How much is ONE individual suppose to take? I have to believe that this constant barrage and attacks have changed her. It has to be HORRIBLE for her.
The reason for posting the addresses is that yes indeed the hater blog has written the Judge & the trustee. I’ve documented it in my “letter”. I also gave the Judge the screen name of this “concerned citizen” that took the time to write him: “Mcksicko”.
What does that screen name say? If I were a Judge and I saw that, I would think twice about putting any weight to the words of a nameless, faceless cyber bully who goes by the screen name: “Mcksicko”.
Wow! If this statement is true and people are actually writing the judge in order to deny the bankruptcy request, then the level of crazy has reached new heights. Gossip is one thing (not that I agree with that either), but to personally take an active and aggressive approach in an effort to ruin a complete stranger’s life is just so unfathomable to me. It would be bad enough if the impact would only affect Jennifer, a grown adult, but to do such acts while knowing full well that it will have a greater impact on the lives of 5 innocent, young children is nothing but malicious. I just honestly cannot wrap my head around the fact that these people are so hell-bent on this mission that they would take it to this level. Pathetic….
Exactly CM. They just recently contacted “Vibrams” just in case there was going to be any affiliation with Jennifer……..that is just the tip of the iceberg. They know that Jennifer is the primary financial support for FIVE children………….how can they then try to take away this family’s main income source? Especially now with a Father not in the picture. They’ve done a great job in trying to destroy her blog. They’ve affected her income tremendously.
We all need to pray, enough is enough. This has gone on long enough.
The arm of the Lord is not too short to deal with this.
Have you talked to Jennifer about this? I’m just wondering what SHE wants?? Or what she would think about people writing to the judge and/or her lawyer. I do agree many people are harsh on Jen however, please keep in mind this blog is a choice….Jennifer’s Choice. If things get too much for her, she can choose to stop the blog or even stop the comments. I have a feeling Jennifer is a lot stronger than people give her credit for. I do wish her well. I wish her peace, happiness & love and I DO think she will be okay. It’s nice of you to be so protective & proactive however, just make sure it’s what Jen actually wants.
Jennifer is i’m sure, VERY strong. However, this blog is her income, her JOB, and her passion.Not easy to stop, or stop comments. If Jennifer stopped moderating the comments here and allowed them all to be posted, I’m sure all of us would be completely in shock at the extreme rude and hateful comments she recieves that don’t make it past moderation. That is strength. To read someone’s hate toward you, delete it, and carry on. Jennifer may not be completely in agreement with her supporters writing to the Judge, but she did allow Barb’s post through moderation. I hope the Judge is aware of the site dedicated to tearing the Mckinneys down, if only so he knows the source of the letters written to him contesting Jennifer and Israels filing of Chapter 7.
I think by posting this you are doing more harm than good. My brother is a bankruptcy attorney and while all pieces of documentation that are given to the court that can be substantiated must be entered into the case, a letter from a blog reader that just thinks Jennifer is a great person and who should be able to file bankruptcy isn’t going to cut it. And I would be afraid that letters like that would propel the judge and attorneys to dig a little deeper into the paperwork.
I read her for enjoyment, and I do pray for Jennifer, Isreal and their children because separation is painful for all parties. And while I don’t really get the other site… I found it because of things you and other commenters read.
I’m pretty sure Jennifer monitors her comments, so she let your post through… I just hope it does more good than damage.
Whether or not it helps your bankruptcy case or not, I think it will maybe at least open the eyes of higher officials that there is a major cyberbully issue going on. Has your lawyer said anything about that? Can anything be done to shut it down?
I’ve been wanting to write for days and tell you I am praying for you and your little ones. You are one strong, smart, dedicated, and beautiful momma. I am sending you a big hug…. w/love.
To those who are being judgmental, imagine if you, a family member or a close friend was going through what Jennifer’s family is going through. Would you say mean and judgmental things to them? Would you want to hear mean comments from other if this was you? Most likely not. What Jennifer and her family is going through is similar to what thousands of others are through right now. We need to pray for the families, the children and the ones (mothers and fathers) who have left their families. Jennifer sharing her struggles with us is a way to help herself heal and become stronger (for some, talking about it is a way to heal) and she is helping others speak out who are going through or have bern through the same thing. Because Jennifer is sharing her story, I am hugging my child a little longer and thanking my husband for being supportive. Jennifer, thank you for what you have shared and for being an example of a woman who is putting one foot in front of another. Praying for your entire family.
People will always be judgmental. I think it reveals a fundamental lack/need in their own lives. Jennifer needs as much positive reinforcement as she can get right now. She needs it to be there for her precious children who are completely innocent in whatever is going on.
Big Mac’s eyes look so sad to me in this picture. I wonder sometimes why so few people can read emotions in people and in pictures. Underneath the blog posts is a real family. The blog is a business. There have been signs for months (maybe longer) that something was not quite right in this family. Jennifer’s resistence to moving to the farm (because MckDaddy had a dream to live that way) was so intense that she got sick. We all read about her adjusting to the farmhouse and making it a HOME, something that she is very good at. Actually, Jennifer is very good at making lemonade out of lemons. She gave her family the full farm experience. But she didn’t post pictures of herself and MckDaddy was hardly ever mentioned except that he was working. Then there was a crisis with the house. I believe it was bugs. Then everyone got sick and Stellan was hospitalized with pneumonia. That one really freaked me out because basically the MckKids are very very healthy. I for one, started to think that there is something toxic in that house. Then, she started talking about moving and then, MckDaddy did not move with her and the children. Oh, and in the middle of all this, Jennifer started working out and feeling better about herself and her body. I don’t know what is going on but there are alot of clues here. A MARRAIGE is between two people and the push and pul that goes on regarding what is right for the individual and what is right for the family is complicated. Throw in what a Christian wife or husband is SUPPOSED to do and it gets even more complicated. I believe that the only way is to commune quietly with God. God will supply every answer and every need. This is non-demoninational. It is about a personal relationship with God. Whatever happens, it is God’s Will. The damage from what happens is man’s ego and need to control everything. Peace to this family as you all go deep into that quiet place that will Lead you to a peace that passes all understanding.
Life does not have to give you lemons for you to have lemonade. You can go staright to the lemonade. God truly loves us that much.
I think sometimes we get sick for a lot of different reasons (not just physical, I mean). I could see a connection through a stressful life change – which you did say was true of you moving to the farm and then getting sick (did you have the flu or something? I can’t remember. I can’t even remember if *I* had the flu this year!).
The actual details are not really important and only Jennifer and her family knows what they are. It may not have been that MckDaddy wanted to move specifically to the farmhouse but there was something about you supporting him in his vision for the family and you had resistance to moving to the farmhouse (which you turned into an amazing home for your family). The illness was you being hospitalized just before going home after your family travels. The move came after that. The details don’t matter, it is the underlying energy and something has seemed off to me for a while. I am not being critical in any way, you have in fact done an incredible job of keeping it all together. Mind, body and spirit are all connected. The details don’t really matter. Those details separate us when we should all be communing with God for a spiritual solution. Wishing you peace.
I remember that too — because you didn’t want to live in a rundown place etc. I am sure it was in an old post! Doesn’t really matter though — not important facts!
My 6 and 8 year olds had those same eyes last night while doing their homework. There’s no turmoil in their lives. Sometimes when we hear hoof beats we assume it’s a zebra but usually it’s just a horse.
It always kind of shocks me at how all good manners fly out the window on the internet. In real life if someone thought he looked sad they’d keep it to themselves (unless they were particularly close) but aloud they’d say “What a gorgeous boy you have there!” or to that effect. On the internet, it’s no holds barred.
I think some sensitivity is in order unless otherwise asked.
It’s not uncommon or rude to notice a little boy looking sad. Really? Little boys are sad for a lot of reasons – they lost their favorite toy, their brothers didn’t include them in play, or their parents are separated. This was not at all a hurtful comment. I think it was WAY more sensitive than most. Jennifer is very good at capturing emotions with her lens. I think it would be a stretch to say he looks happy (although he IS stinkin’ adorable!).
Thank you. I certainly did not mean anything negative by saying that I thought Big Mac looked sad in the picture. I don’t actually know if he was sad, I said I thought he looked sad. I have seen so many pictures of these beautiful children with their bright shining eyes and big smiles on their faces. This one looked different. Its not a bad thing. It just is. But I could be way off, maybe the look is concentration or tiredness or a random look caught by the camera. He is ALWAYS beautiful.
Aahh such a sweetie. Someone mentioned his cowlick which I also just love! So great to see him being “Big Mac”.
This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! I know it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other, but you have 5 beautiful reasons to rejoice every day (you know that already tho)
You are doing great, at least from what I can tell! One thing I have learned since my husband left, is that I can only focus on today. If I look at the big picture, or the “what ifs”, I get totally overwhelmed. Keep loving your babies and keeping life as normal as possible for them. You can do this!
MckMama – so sorry you are being hit with such judgmental comments, including some of the “advice” comments which are actually thinly-veiled judgment (most of the advice seems good, but some – not so much). None of these people have actually walked in your shoes. You know yourself and you know your kids. You’re going through an incredibly tough time, but you are strong and want the best for your family, so you all will come out safe on the other side of this.
As for all you “holier than thou” judgmental types out there, in the words of Thumper the Bunny – “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.” Now’s not the time for your judgment – what’s needed now is love, prayers, encouragement, and support.
Yes I agree…….the “advice” suggestions are just a slick way to pass judgement.
If Jennifer wants advice from anybody she will ask. Random people out in cyber space that offer such things……well I just don’t get it……rather audacious……..kind of like being in a prayer circle and someone asks for pray for someone and then spills the persons “dirty laundary” in the guise of a prayer request. Not cool.
I agree with her too, mckmana. No one has the right to condemn another. We are all sinners and Jesus paved the way for us to keep trying. You are certainly trying as am I and so many. It seems like a lot of others need to let go and let God.
Some of the folks seem to be giving legitimate advice, though – “seek financial guidance” “be careful how you portray your husband” – those are truly good intentions. Or at least they seem to be well-guided. If you’ve been in a similar position as someone going through a hard time it seems normal to me to want to have them learn from the error of your ways. I don’t have anything to offer in this case but if I did I wouldn’t hesitate to pass it on.
Strong enough or not, regardless of how you feel, you CAN do this and you have to for your own sake and for the sake of those precious children.
You have so many folks praying for you, helping you, lifting you up, you aren’t alone.
You do need help though and I sure hope you have that.
You CAN, you WILL, do this for as long as you need to.
Try to get a decent night’s sleep, tomorrow is another new day.
This helped me in my time of adversity (going on right now, actually):
When it seems as if everything has fallen apart, what really is going on is that God is picking up the pieces and putting them back together in the order that HE wants them.
Let them see you cry, Jennifer, so they can celebrate with you when you smile. Your husband loves God, which means he will find a way to love you all again.
I have faith that you will have the strength to get through tomorrow!
Hi Jennifer, I’ve been following your blog for a little while and I adore it. A couple things…
1. I love the Stellan video and the song that goes with it.
2. I love your pictures.
3. I love how beautiful your children are. (I teach, and I love seeing happy kids.)
4. I love how honest you are about working out and wanting to lose weight. I’m doing the same thing, but I don’t have 5 kids as an excuse for the weight I’ve gained, which I think makes it worse. It’s hard as hell, but every time I work out, I’m so happy with myself.
5. The other website about you, you know the one, is really odd & kind of creepy.
6. Some of the commentors on here remind me of snarky and shallow people that are on reality tv. I read them, even though I know I’ll be shaking my head in disbelief after I’m finished. Just like I watch real housewives, even though I may feel dumber afterwards, you know?
7. I love the prayers and thoughts people are sending you. People can be so nice.
8. Please keep up the blog. It’s like a really good picture book.
I cant imagine all you have on your plate! I admire your strength so much and pray that the Lord will continue to provide patience and a spirit of TRUSTING Him as you continue to press on. I also pray that you would be led by the Holy Spirit to continue raising your kids and that God will give you wisdom. Most of all, i pray for your husbands heart to be convicted by the Holy Spirit to come home. To fulfill his commitment and to find peace and joy in it.
Thank you for sharing in your journey. I see that you get all kinds of comments on here. I pray that mine (as a new reader, this is one of my first) will always be uplifting
And kuddo’s to you for homeschooling. WOW. Hard job!
his eyes look sad and what kid wouldn’t be sad and confused at this point? I guess whether or not McMamma wants to make money on publishing this trauma drama is her decision. If it were me, I would be bleeding all over the Internet, so you can give her credit for trying to keep it together by posting meals and photos of the kids.
I fail to see how his eyes look sad! He looks like he is concentrating on his school work! Amazing what people will read into things trying to see the worst.
A song I remember singing when in my church choir… 25 years ago. I think of it in difficult times.
I cast all my cares upon you.
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And any time I don’t know what to do.
I cast all my cares upon you.
Hey there. Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. Can’t even imagine the many emotions you are feeling as well as the many thoughts you have going around in your head. Just wanted to let you know that I think you are an awesome mom and that your family is really a neat one. Also praying for you husband during this time.
Have the kids seen their Daddy since he left? I just can’t imagine a man walking out on five (six) family members even thought I know it takes 2 for an argument. The VERY best of luck to ALL of you.
That Big Mac is just so gifted! Even studying on a Saturday, I am SO very impressed by his intellugence! He must take after his super smartie mama!
I wonder what delishus masterpieces you have created for the MSC today for lunch.
Well Mckmama I am off to do the dishes now. I know boring right haha. But a lass, I wanted to check in with you first. I sure hope you felt refreshed and a new this morning when you woke up because I bathed you in prayer all night long! Keep your head up Mama. Youre doing fine. One day at a time.
So sad. Kids should not have to move so much and have someone they loved walk out on them. The psychological toll is monumental and will show up later on.
Your bedside manners suck ass. I’m sure MckMama truly appreciates your exquisite forsight though. How many years have you been studying the psychological effects of children who move often or are raised by single parents? I’m also very curious to know how many memories do YOU have of being 3 and younger?
My husband walked on me when I was pregnant with our third child, I had two little ones at home as well. There was a huge psychological toll on my children and they struggled in many different areas. We had to move three times after he left and yes it absolutely took a toll on my kids. This was 21 years ago. The impact on the children is HUGE. I will not get into details about their struggles as that is too personal. I’m hoping in this situation of Jennifer’s that the marriage will work out.
Keeping them on schedule was very important after he left. We did not have to move for three years after that as he stopped paying child support and I lost my home. I remember when we moved into my mother’s house my three year old was standing next to me as I cleaned my Mom’s fridge and he was crying saying I want to go home I want to go home, I can picture it in my mind as if it happened yesterday, it crushed me.
Praying for your situation and I hope that your husband regularly visits with the children mine did not and I think that even though he left if he still remained a strong father figure in their lives that they would not have had all the problems that they did have and still have.
Girl Child….you called a commenter a FOOL! This is exactly the kind of negative comment that contributes to the nastiness of this blog. It is not loving or supportive or helpful. Jennifer has a lot on her plate and is being supported through comments and prayers but almost no-one says anything about the children. These children, particularly the older ones are carrying a huge load. My first response to the picture of Big Mac doing school work is how tired he looks. Children take on responsibility when there is hurt around them. I am not saying in ANY way that Jennifer is not aware of this and supporting them in the best way that she can but there is NOTHING wrong with a reader showing concern for the phycological well-being of those beautiful children.
Oh Girl Child… it absolutely WILL have a deep impact on those kids! They might not have vivid memories but they will remember the feeling of change, insecurity, abandonment and just seeing the emotion in their Mommy’s face.
As mothers, we are charged with making everything seem as normal as possible.. put on a smile when we feel like crying and keep their lives consistent. Men, get to walk away and not worry if their kids are being hurt or not and they certainly do not have to see it in their little faces every day and hear their little cries at night. They know that the Mommy’s will take care of it. Infuriates me to no end when all these “Daddy’s” just split.
I couldn’t disagree more. My daughter’s father and I divorced when she was 4. She is the most centered, even keeled, kind kid ever. Her father lived in California until recently and we are in Ohio. She saw him once a year from 4 until 14…..now he lives in the eastern side of the states but she still sees him once a year. She has no psychological trauma. She is an honor student in honors classes at school. She is 17 years old and is an awesome, well adjusted kid. Was it hard when we were divorcing, absolutely. Is she a hot mess that wears all black and has piercings all over her face….not even close! I did put her in counseling when she was 4, just so she has someone “unbiased” to talk to if she needed it but she is great! She wants to go to school to be a lawyer that defends juvenile offenders……so to say that it will have a psychological toll is ridiculous and unfair. There are just as many kids with 2 parents in the home that are mentally screwed up. It is all about stability and if they have routines and stability given by their mother, they will be just fine! Thinking and praying Mckmama!!!!!
Same here, my sons father and I were never married and our 15 year old is the most even keeled kid ever. He’s loving, caring, relaxed. He sees his dad every few months when schedules work. But I’ve always given him a very stable environment, stable meaning I’ve always kept him safe and made him feel loved. I’m thinking of you and your kiddos Mckmama!!! Stay strong, you can get through this!!!
I think i’m surprised at the reaction to this comment. I’m new to this blog and this is the first post that i’ve read multiple comments on and i’m shocked at how “controversial” some of the comments have been (or have been taken as).
I totally read this thinking “so true” until i read the replies to the comment itself. I get where IF you may know “tillie” and know her to be a smartie you may find this offensive. But i dont know her so i totally took it more in terms of “how sad that this situation will likely have lasting consequences for innocent children”.
Yes, i know that there are some kids who have gone through a TON who are well adjusted *by the grace of God!*. And for others, the hurt never fully heals. There are exceptions in every direction. But as a rule, i see tillie’s point.
Maybe it was meant in a more smart tone than that?
How interesting.
Kelly, I don’t know this commenter either, yet the comment was ill-timed. Even if there are shreds of truth to it, there was absolutely no support offered.
It’s like coming across a car accident, stopping for a moment to let the injured driver know that their head is bleeding and they’ll likely have really bad scars…then walking away. It’s self-serving, and unhelpful.
I had multiple comments like this after my 10 year old son was abused by his teacher. “He’s going to be damaged for the rest of his life”….”He’ll never be the same”….”Things like this can ruin a kid.” Like I wasn’t already living the nightmare. It’s hard to move past those comments, but I sure did cling to the ones of hope. That is what Jen needs right now. Hope.
I moved over 23 times by the time I turned eighteen. 4 years was the longest time we lived in one house. My parents fought constantly during some very crucial developmental teen years – serious fighting. lots of sitting us down telling us they were getting a divorce. making up the next day. sitting us down again. never resolving issues. they stayed together. but we had some years of pure hell. During these years of fighting, I was also homeschooled and had no escape and no outside friends. Several things extremely unhealthy about how I grew up. my parents have since grown up – love eachother very much and are very much together. All four of us kids made it. only one has had some serious relational struggles and went through a divorce. I struggled through my issues and went to counseling and no doubt it took me some time to learn how to develop deep relationships from all that moving and isolation. It’s amazing what kids can go through and become well adjusted adults. If you trust God with each day in front of you – sometimes you have to just focus on small increments of time in front of you to not get overwhelmed with your situation .He is sooo awesome. He will help you raise awesome kids – whether alone or whether your husband returns. He is your source. He holds your kids days in his hands. Your kids are not a victim to circumstances. You can protect them in a lot of ways and provide the stability they need. Your support system can help meet other needs too. you can do this!
Kristy
I see your point entirely. Brilliant. Indeed, ill timed. And incomplete in thought if she cared to offer any hope or support.
Maybe i’m giving her more credit, thinking that she may have made an innocent mistake in not offering the “rest” of the sentence.
I really am BRAND new to this blog and i’m just SHOCKED at how many people have made such controversial comments and *hope* that some are taken out of context.
Some might say studious, all I can see is sad. His little face looks blank, disengaged and elsewhere. You requested privacy but that includes you doing your part to preserve that. Please consider your children’s rights during what has to be a difficult time in their lives. I would not want such a photo of me published for the world to see. You are their mother & have a duty of care to protect them.
Since this is Jennifer’s blog, I guess she should be allowed to post what she feels the need. I mean there are many others from “that place” that didn’t feel the need to protect her privacy or that of the children. People can’t have it both ways. They can’t ask her to be private for the sake of the kids, but then put it all out there while not protecting the kids.
I say if it helps her cope or deal then post what she feels is right. Everything is up to interpretation. Some will see a sad boy looking at the computer, and some will see a child looking at the computer deep in thought. Jennifer, I pray things begin to look up and you start feeling more at peace. My husband and I are both from divorced parents, and we both have had great lives.
Why can another commenter post the same below and not get jumped on? My comment is well intentioned. Parents MUST be the protectors of their children’s privacy, in both good and difficult times. I would not want someone posting a photo of me online without my permission. Given children this age cannot possibly understand the reach of the internet and possible implications in the future they need to be protected now.
We all know it is Jennifer’s blog and I guarantee that everyone has the children’s well being in mind, even those who disagree strongly with her.
Likewise I am from a home where my parents divorced. On the night we moved my father held my mother & I hostage in a closet with a shotgun then tied us up and disappeared with my three siblings for 48 hours. I was 17 at the time and understand the trauma of separation. I didn’t tell anyone of our ordeal for some time and cannot imagine what it would be like to have the details published to the world in an identifying way.
I don’t know, Kerrie. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are a known hater on a clear mission to spew negativity in this woman’s life at every turn? Maybe that’s why.
Seriously Kerrie…He looks like any other kid who’s into their computer…give me a break on your view that he looks blank and disengaged…You probably have so many personal problems that you can’t wait to find someone else that you “hope” will have the same…
He looks like he’s concentrating on what he sees on the screen. Children look like that when they are at the computer, I’m a teacher, and I see it daily. Regardless of what happens in J’s marriage, those children KNOW they are loved.
Likewise, I work in education and have children, I also see it daily.
Yes, I’m sure the children know they are loved, that is not the point of my comment. Everything on the net is able to be traced. The children will be able to read this blog one day and may object to having their photos at a traumatic time in their lives out there for public viewing and comment. They are as entitled to their privacy as anyone who can expressly give it.
Good gracious….there are MANY MANY bloggers who post pictures of their children. Some post a lot worse pictures than a young man studying on the computer. Are you going to their blogs and asking them to protect their privacy…yay I doubt it. Sad thing is I doubt you really have good intentions if you are trying to bring Jennifer down. Kind of like the “others” who say they care about the kids. If they cared about the kids, then they wouldn’t try bringing the family down, and then laugh about it.
Totally new here, so i dont know any of you who are commenting, but can i just ask why of all places to choose this blog at this difficult time to try to make your case for protecting the privacy of children? There are millions of blogs administrated by parents who choose to place pics of their children on it for whatever reason. And facebook is full of kids pics. I’m just wondering. I understand that you, Kerrie, feel strongly that the rights of childrens privacy should be protected (and whether i agree or disagree is a mute point here) but do you really feel that at this difficult time in this bloggers life that its appropriate to make your case?
If you truly have concerns, which its obvious that you do, I would suggest that you lobby for legislation to protect the privacy of children or something.
Specifically my question is this… are you making comments on every blog you run across that posts pictures of their children or is this picture particularly concerning to you?
Yes, it does make you wrong, if he in fact IS concentrating and not disengaged and sad. You can’t just form an opinion based on what you want to see and call your interpretation fact.
He is either blank sad, disengaged or he is preoccupied, deep in thought and concentration. It shouldn’t be open for individual interpretation.
How does me saying what I see make me wrong? Perhaps those who feel that he is concentrating are also wrong then too.
Given that no-one commenting here, with the exception of Jennifer maybe, really knows exactly what his thoughts and feelings are it potentially makes us all wrong.
I posted what I saw, how he looked to me. Had I said “He is sad, disengaged, blank and elsewhere” then yes, I could have been wrong. It was MY statement, MY interpretation of what I was seeing.
I’ll add here that if he is indeed sad, then it is perfectly understandable as to why this is so. Separation, sudden home relocation and terrible upheaval are very difficult on anyone, particularly children who tend to see things is very black & white terms. My father left us when I was 17 and even then I found it hard to understand. I can’t imagine what a child ten years younger must be feeling.
I do believe the children will be okay, I believe Jennifer will be okay, whatever happens regarding her marriage. I understand a great deal of where she is at. I was left when I was pregnant with my second daughter, my first daughter having died two weeks short of her first birthday. It’s hard, really hard.
This is her occupation people. This blog is how she is supporting her family….alone now. She is attempting to walk the fine line of enough to keep readership up and not too much to exploite the situation. She is entitled to mixes feelings, anger, sadness, and to change her mind. For those that are sooo concerned for the kids privacy…..stop clicking on her page. Don’t participate in the public posts. Secondly I feel she has been noting but a class act and not derogatory at all. This is her occupation so she has to share enough to keep us coming. If you feel this is wrong then simply find another blog to follow that meets your moral and psychological criteria.
I see a picture by a photographer of a very handsome boy. I can not dare interpret what is going on in his mind or heart. He looks cared for, fed, safe and healthy.
From the show Annie.. Tomorrow, the sun will come out tomorrow. Your tomorrow might be next week, next month……Been there feeling numb, I was so numb I could even handle going through the drive through of McDonalds. My son was going through major health issues, my husband was in England for work and no family in town. Now, many years later I’m so much stronger. God kept getting out his 2×4 and hitting me upside the head to remind me it was in his time and his way. I pray for you and your family every night. What about the kitties?
I was so impressed with Big Mac’s math skills that you talked about on FB. Kudos!! It is so important for kids to be able to excel at academics (or even sports) when there is turmoil at home. Gives them a good self image and self respect which helps buffer them from the painful bounces.
I give you TONS of credit/applause for trying to maintain as normal as schedule for your kiddos. Whatever “normal” is for you now, I pray that God’s peace and presence floods every moment of your day and your kids’ day as well! I have not ceased praying for you and give thanks to God for your faith. May your hope continue to rest in Him you look to Him for where to place your next step.
Jennifer, I have been away from the computer for a while now and just caught up. While I have rarely posted, I have followed your blog since a prayer request was left on Asher and Jacob’s Friends (the site I ran and am currently on sabbatical from) when Stellan was born. I have prayed for your family almost daily since then and am heartbroken to learn you are facing a new challenge in your journey. Coming from a family of divorced parents, I know what an uphill battle this can be both on the couple and the children. Please know my prayers are with you, your husband, and your children as the Holy Spirit guides you along this journey. No matter the outcome, I trust that God will wrap each of you in His arms and will hold you close along the way. Without a doubt, I believe God will take the broken hearts of you and your family and will rebuild them stronger than ever. I am honored you have shared this deeply personal experience on your blog and am humbled to be one of the many who will pray and hold your family in my heart.
After reading through some of the comments I had to go back and look at the picture to see if I missed something. But nope! I see a little boy that looks a lot like I do when I am concentrating-although I tend to move my lips mroe than biting my lip. He just looks like he is fixed on what he is looking at.
Hang in there. Your kids are in a stable home with normal activities. That is the best you can do for them and yourself. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Jennifer, only focus on the things that are good and the things that bring you a smile and you will have peace. Don’t forget to breathe from your belly good and strong sometimes when we are under stress we forget to breathe…. You’ll be ok, this too shall pass….. You are important, you are signifigant, you really matter to a lot of people……
Praying for you Jennifer!!! It is a hard road you are walking on. Ignore the nay sayers, Look to God. Take comfort in His healing arms.
I know you get lots of comments and advice and verbal hugs/prayers/etc. so I usually don’t try to post anything. Though almost everything you have been doing I have been doing, some of it at the same time. And as I would love to tell you my thoughts, I usually just thank God for you and for the good things that can come from the internet.
I have felt the numbness, the nothingness, the not caring if I eat or breath or get up or anything. The denial, the disbelief, the doubt, the fear. And I have felt my crazy impatient mind screaming, “Where are you, God?!?” I have been empty, and without hope. It is not a place I’d ever thought I’d be. Even when our first child was stillborn, I had a small glimmer of hope underneath the darkness that God was there and there would be good for His glory from her death.
But this last diffictul part of life, there was no hope. No light in the darkness. And it was mostly my fault because I gave in to the sadness and told myself there was no hope and blamed myself. I was somewhat isolated from support but I also isolated myself deliberatly, thinking I didn’t deserve it. I told myself to remember the truths I had been taught about God, but I didn’t believe them.
When I finally started feeling hope again, I almost couldn’t believe it, literally didn’t believe it was real, and it took a long time to trust the light of hope in me. I am feeling more like myself now, more often and I am again feeling the old Sarah, who never lost hope in any situation.
I hate myself sometimes, and still push myself into that dark. Sometimes that is where we need to be.
One day I found myself on the floor of my bathroom wondering how I could end things, since there was no hope, but my 3 small children were waking up. Who would care for them that day? They were pressure and stress on me, but also they were my busy work. My mind is often left to itself (stay at home mom with not many outside connections) and I created much in my head that should not have been there. There must be a reason I went through that, though I am still too close to it to know, and it still has a hold on me some.
A very good and trusted friend sent me some of your posts last year as I was going through this, and some things you talked about helped me. I have kept up with your blog for several months now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I won’t make many comments but don’t because I see you have a lot! I will always pray for you and send my support your way. Something I am encouraged to remember by my friend is that God knows everything and has a plan that we are not always meant to understand. Ever. And that seeking Him, being still, and daily looking for His plan is all that will get us through some things. Sometimes we are meant to be in the dark.
Music helps me, too. I love music. This morning I heard a song that I have felt speaks my heart.
Maybe if you get a chance, you can feel it speak for you. “Protest to Praise” by Downhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA599gnSJRc
I LOVE YOU and your family!
Drat! I even proof read that thing twice, and still missed things! Woops! : )
I just want to comment that although I do not know you, I admire very much that you are putting all of this out there for Jennifer’s benefit. You have great faith and courage and strength and love for your children and they will thrive because of the person that you are in their lives.
On a practical note, try to involve yourself in a personal interest class or activity just for you. It will have the benefit of something fun for you plus being around other people who also have this similar interest. Perhaps something that you could take with your children as well.
A blessed day to you.
I applaud your efforts to keep your children’s lives running as smoothly or close to “normal” as possible. I have no children but I do have a marriage in dire straits. You are a very brave lady and I am have tremendous admiration for you. Stay strong and close to your loved ones.
I agree, Jennifer is very brave and I hope that these encouraging comments can help her realize that she can make it through this. With time, she will begin to feel better and she’ll be able to crawl up out of this pain and she will survive and thus begins the next chapter in her life.
very well said.
if she doesn’t want negative comments, then she shouldn’t post her life story – she is asking for both praise and critism with her posts and pictures. It takes 2 to end a marrige or choose to separate.
She is a good Mom and I”m sure her children will be just fine.
“Its takes 2 to end a marriage or choose to separate” … what about those spouses who are faithful and do all they can to hold together their marriage and the other spouse decides to leave? Your statement is so blanket and not true to all situations.
I beg to differ about your phrase ‘it takes 2 to end a marriage or choose to separate’ and I think Summer responded just as I would have. I was in a marriage, until my ex-husband decided he didn’t want to do counseling, try, attempt anything. There was nothing I could do but watch everything unfold before my very eyes. Most often, yes, it takes 2. But not always!
“Christ is building His kingdom with earth’s broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth’s broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth’s saddest failure up to heaven’s glory.”
? J.R. Miller
Praying for you and your whole family
Hey. This is going to be tricky for me to write but I guess honesty is the best policy so I will go with that!
Jennifer, I am a LONG time lurker, since before Stellan was born. I have read your blog posts and watched your children grow up through this blog.
About a month ago, I wanted to know what your youngests real name was because I honestly didnt know. Thats when I found the hater site.
I read the site with interest, All the links and everything, and I started to believe it (again, I am being honest so please just read) , When you read the things they have wrote, it starts to make sense in your own head. But does it?
I even posted there once or twice saying stuff along the lines of….’I cant believe she has been lying to us , I have followed her and feel betrayed by the lies etc etc. ‘
BUT then, I looked at the bigger picture. You are a mum, with 5 kids. I am also a mum. And as I started to REALLY read the comments on the hater site , I felt bad that I ever posted there. Not GUILTY, because they do have a way of making things believable and I was sucked in. We have all been in a similar situaion before.
But I did feel bad that I had commented on a site designed to destroy you. Why? Because I realised the truth. You are not a bad person. Not at all. I think you have a very kind haert actualy. And even tho I did doubt you, reading the comments on the hater site and the depth they go into to try and bring you down has just sent me runing back your way. I realised that they would try to make anything believable. Because that is their aim. I honestly cannot believe that some people would spend their lives looking at your life. They really do need to focus on themselves. I feel bad for them .
You know the one thing that really made me see the light? Your dignified silence. I could not live with a bunch of people tearing me down commenting on everything thats wrong about me ona daily basis. And you have lived with it and not given them the satisfaction of biting back. And that really shows who is the better person. I think your silence speaks volumes about your character and you should be proud.
You should be proud of yourself and your darling kids. They dont deserve the hater site. You dont deserve it.
The hater site also says you monitor all comments and dont allow some to go through, but i hope you allow this to go through. Because I want people to read my opinion on the whole thing. Maybe others will speak up who have been on the hater site.
Even they know they are taking things too far now. They are out of hand. I am not accusing you, but if you have ever told a little white lie, Honestly, Who Cares? We have all done it. And that is my conclusion. These people tearing you down are bullies. Even tho I have posted on the site , I have not said anything bad about you directly, just that I was upset to hear that maybe this blog is a lie. Which I have now realised It is not.
You keep doing what you are doing and hold your head high. Well done with the weight loss, well done keeping the kids safe when you are going through this tricky time, and well done for being the bigger person through all of this.
I wish peace for you and your family jennifer, I really do. Take care. X
I am glad you saw the light and realized just what those “haters” are capable. They are horrible and the way they treat the people who do go there in defense of Jennifer, and share their opinion, just shows their true character. They say how they welcome all opinions, but they only welcome those that align with their horrendous accusations de-grading opinions and spins of the truth. They are truly a sick bunch of people and one day…you know what they say about karma!
Sadly, I think that the haters have taken things to a place where they have done a lot of damage to MckMamma. They would like to say it is all “her own fault”. Truth be told we all have “stuff” and if people want to pick every piece of our lives apart….well we would all be in trouble. Thank God…Jesus came to save broken people. I know I am one. Jesus came for all….Mckmamma, the haters, and me…..ok…stepping down off of my soap box!
Wow, why would any one make a hater web sight about such a sweet, sweet family? I’m glad you were wise enough to get away from that, it’s probably pretty easy to get caught up in stuff like that. I think Jennifer and her family are gorgeous and I hope that they can work their marriage out and stay together forever….
I am with Joybells – they really have a Hater website against Jennifer? I can’t believe people don’t have anything better to do than focus on one person’s life and tear it apart! Feel very sorry for them that this is the focus of their life and that they feel the need to do that. Really can’t even absorb the whole idea. It seems so crazy! Blessings to Jennifer and her family during this hard time…
Ya, when people attack you when your doing nothing but sharing and caring, then something is tragically wrong…..
Big Mac is such a gorgeous child. He looks like he is concentrating hard on his studies. If he really is sad as so many of you have mentioned, don’t you think the child has a right to be? His beloved daddy is no longer at home with him, I am sure that would make most kids sad.
Either way, I wish for the best for him and his siblings. They deserve to be happy no matter what is going on between their parents.
For Jennifer, I am praying for you. Hang in there.
I am so sorry for your hurt and pain. It makes me sick to think people have so much time on their hands to bash your family. I have six kids and I have had kidney stones and my two youngest sons were premature does that make me a liar? Please leave this family alone worry about your kids and your own business. I don’t care about her bank problems or where she lives that is her business. And to try and get info on her is just sick like you have nothing better to do. Jenn, I am sorry you are hurting I dont usually post but this bullying has to stop. You dont deserve that. I am sure the people doing all this have a bunch of skeletons in their closets. I for one am not perfect.
I wonder if the comments are working. Cute k.
Hey, this is nirupama….my only comment that has gotten through in a while(under my last name is above). Just wondering why…
I usually don’t post “personal” replies publicly. But at this point, I really do want to share my heart with Jennifer. And Israel, too, if he happens to be reading here.
And to the kids.
For Lachlan:
You’re so young. I hope and pray that you’ll grow up knowing that your mommy and daddy, imperfect as we all are before stepping into eternity in heaven, love you. I hope your young brain retains memories of all of you together, laughing. I hope you remember wrestling and whisker-kisses and the way your mommy lives so intensely and gladly and uncomplainingly gave all of her time and love to all of you – even to your daddy. You’re younger than I was when my parents split… actually, you’re the same age my baby cousin was. She’s sixteen now. And she still remembers. I hope you will. And I hope it makes you smile. It’s okay to remember what you had. Especially the good parts. And I pray that you grow to know and trust that God will never, ever leave you.
For Stellan:
Sweet little boy. So much of your life has been spent fighting. Fighting to breathe, fighting to live. Just… fighting. You’ve displayed such strength… and it’s not so much your survival that shows it. It’s your smile. It’s your joy. It’s the trust you have in your parents. You are old enough that the absence of your daddy is going to hurt, no matter how long or short this absence turns out to be. I (and many others, I’m sure) pray that you do get to know him as you grow. I also pray that even though your world is turned upside-down right now, the things that have NOT changed help you feel safe. That the stability you DO have around you helps you to develop that calm assurance in GOD that we all must find.
For Maise:
I might have spelled your name wrong. I’ve been known to do that, especially with names I don’t use every day. But there is someone who knows so much more than how to spell your name… who sees it all the time. He has written it on the palm of His hand, and He loves you unconditionally and eternallly. Your God can be relied on and trusted always. Even if everyone else around you is making you sad or angry, even if you can’t FEEL Him or hear His voice… He never leaves. He walks through everything. Some people will say that it’s hard to be “the only girl with so many boys.” I guess maybe they are right in some ways. But you DO have a good example in your mother. She will love you regardless of how girly or tom-boyish you are. If you watch her, you’ll learn how to be. Especially, watch her faith. Watch how she is unafraid to tell God that her heart is breaking and how she asks Him questions – easy ones and hard ones. And watch how through it all, she trusts Him. She believes He is good, and present. Watch THAT, Maisie, and learn from it… and you will truly grow into a beautiful woman.
For Cullen:
You, of all your siblings, remind me most of myself. Like you, I used to catch everything I could. I wanted to keep every creature, but I knew I couldn’t… so I would eventually let them go. Like you, I was smart and engaging. Like you, I was so compassionate toward those animals. That compassion can do so much to enrich your life, sweet boy. I pray that it does that, and only that. It also opens things up for you to maybe feel guilt or responsibility about things that really aren’t your fault or responsibility at all. I know your mommy will do her best to make it clear to all of you, that this is not your fault. And I also know that your daddy loves you, and he does not blame you for any of the bad things that have happened. I pray that you keep your fascination with all things living, and your gentle but very much strong nature. God has given you a gift – a gift that helps you see the world as beautiful and precious, and safe to explore. Hang onto that… it will help you stay close to Him.
For Kieran:
You are the “big brother.” I’ve heard so much about you… and you really might be the best big brother in the world. I know you love your sister and your brothers. I also know you love your mommy and your daddy. You’re smart – you figure out things kids your age often times can’t. And you’re a builder, like your daddy. Your desire to protect your brothers and sister, and you’re “fix it, build it, make it” attitude is going to pull on you in days to come. You’ll want to help them, you’ll want to fix things for them and comfort them and protect them. And that’s okay to want. It’s okay to do what you can. But don’t forget that you are still a kid, and you still need to be taken care of too. You still need to let your mommy comfort you. And you are allowed to feel sad or angry or afraid. I pray that your faith stays simple and child-like, and that your love for God lets you grow up at the speed you’re supposed to, instead of too fast.
For Jennifer:
We’ve never met face to face. I’ve read here for years; we have a mutual friend. That friend is one of thsoe exceptionally beautiful, generous, inspiring people that stays in your heart no matter what the distance and time separating her from you is. I know she loves you; I hope that right now, you’re letting her do so. But more importantly, I hope that you are remembering the true source of your strength. I hope you are somehow experiencing that peace that passes all understanding. You’ve said you’re not sure if you’re strong enough for this. I’ve thought about those words tonight. And the truth is, you’re not. Not even close. You are fallible. You are HUMAN, and you’re still on earth, not in heaven. But your God? He’s perfect. He’s FAITHFUL. He’s mighty. And even when it seems like he is so far away and not there the way we need… even then, He really IS. We walk through nothing alone. You’ve got to be strong for your kids right now, that’s true. But you don’t have to be without sadness or anger or fear or any other emotion. Emotions are okay. You’ve got two parents who love you, and your sister, and friends. I can’t begin to understand, not really, what you are going through just now. I’m not going to even try to speculate as to WHY Israel has made the decision he has; it’s none of my business, really. Your marriage, your life, your family – I only know and share as much as you share here, and once in a while through the friend we share, and even less frequently, by encountering your dad at Subway or riding his bike on Bliss Road. But in the years that I’ve been reading your words, and sharing that little bit of your life, I’ve grown to love you. I pray for you and I will KEEP praying for you.
For Israel:
The choice you made, to leave your family, isn’t one I can understand. I don’t know you, I don’t know them. I don’t KNOW what went into this, I don’t KNOW what it is to live your life. And without that… I really cannot understand. What I DO understand, is forgiveness. I understand that GOD forgives us, for everything. I understand choices… I understand that they sometimes are worse than they appear, and sometimes they are absolutely NOTHING like they seem from the outside. I understand that your wife, no matter what else has or has not been true, does love you. I understand that you have worked hard to provide for your family. I believe you love them; I really do. I suspect that their hearts are feeling shattered just now; but I suspect yours is too. I pray that God would give you clarity and guidance, and that He would give you courage and strength as well.
I don’t know; maybe this isn’t a ‘typical’ comment. I’m not interested in presenting judgment or predictions or analyzing anything. I just want to share a bit of my heart for each of the members of this family.
Tears. Wow.
So beautifully written! I don’t know Jennifer and the children other than through her blogs but I pray that she, and they, will find comfort in your words.
Wow, Beautiful…just beautiful!! I wish all people had your open mind and warm heart! You are a Gem!
Wow. So wonderfully and thoughtfully said!
So beautiful. Thank you.
now that is a very kind, beautiful thing, that jennifer needs to hear right now. beautiful!
tara
beautiful words.
Beautiful!!!! Thank you for being obedient. I am BAWLING my eyes out right now. What a gift you have just given. Bless your heart!!!! Praying for this precious family!!!!
You speak for me. For many. You took the time to listen to God and write His words down. For Jennifer and her family – and for us. God bless you for this gift. You spoke His words to each person and I thank you for caring so much. God
Bless you.
Praying you are healed and delivered from all the foolishness cast upon you by others and that your family is reunited and become stronger than ever.
I am VERY touched by the many comments of thinking and praying for Jennifer.
For at this time in her life, she surely needs OUR prayrers.
Man, he has great hair! H & M model maybe?
Hope you’ve done well through the weekend. Love this photo…I can tell he’s getting smarter by the minute. ((Hugs from Alabama))
This reminds me of a modern day take on a painting I saw in Scotland called “Boy Reading”. http://www.baumanconservation.com/FlintReynoldsGreuzeReading.jpg
Ha! Ha!!
He doesn’t look to happy either!
Looks like a typical school picture! What a cutie!
Just praying for you and your family. One day at a time is all you can do and pray. I have been following your blog for quite sometime as well as another blog called kingdom twindom and her situation from a year agao that she blogged about sounds very similiar to what your going through now. It might be helpful to have a blog friend to talk with. Here is the website http://kingdomtwindom.net/
Good luck.
Jennifer and the other blogger are friends, have been for some time and have linked to each other’s blogs on a number of occasions.
Jennifer actually linked to her blog when Sarah was going through all her marriage troubles. That’s why I read there
Great…hopefully they guide each other as friends.
Hey Jennifer!
Reading through these comments is exhausting- don’t know how you do it.
All for a picture of your son who is doing his school work.
Crazy!
Kids make a thousand faces during the day and I am amazed at how many “experts” you have on hand to let you know about the psychological toll your current situation is having on your kids from one picture.
My dad left my mom when my brother and I were young- it was sad, but we did just fine.
My mom loved and still loves the Lord and she did a great job raising us.
We both graduated from college and are happily married.
Not that those things are always important but it spells success in today’s world.
Maybe some things were harder for us than others, but I don’t really remember thinking of it that way.
We just knew my mom was great and loved the Lord.
You don’t need to be reminded of the “psychological toll”- that’s just lies from the enemy.
Just pray and be there for your kids- like you always have.
God’s got it and He knows what you need.
I am praying for you and think it is awesome about you getting in shape. Bravo.
You are a great mom!
Well said. Not all children who have parents that have separated or divorced become emotional basket cases and fail to grow into healthy, educated, well adjusted adults. The key here was your mother’s love and committment to the Lord and how you knew that was a constant regardless of what was going on in the home. Jesus is the rock…unchanging.
And so goes the current state of the world and society. We complain about how rude and mean people are; and they are. We walk in NO ONE’S shoes but our own. We have no right to judge anyone. That is not our place unless a law has been broken, an indictment made and we are sitting on the jury. As for the plegerism(SP) claims, tips about lemon juice and baking soda have been around forever. It is common knowledge and there are only so many ways to state the benefits. What do you {(the haters) (since it appears you read every word written here)} have to gain by your attacks on this woman? I do not know this woman but I do read her blog. As with anything else I read, I self edit what will serve me and what will not. As for her personal life or finances or anything else, it is none of my business nor anyone else s’ unless she chooses to share it. I see and woman in pain currently and have the utmost compassion for her. I will be praying for her and her family and wish them well. My time is valuable to me so I choose to use it in my own way to try to help, not hurt or cause harm. Let them without sin cast the first stone.
Well said, Karen!!
well said
I don’t see sadness…I see a little boy learning. But, if he was sad, it’s with good reason. His family has been torn apart. No need to analyze in my opinion. The world isn’t flat Jennifer, what goes around comes around full circle and those haters will eventually have to answer to someone at some point in their life. Keeping you all close in thought.
Amen.
Hang in there Jen!! I also see a little boy who is concentrating on his studies. Out of all the blogs I visit, this is by far the most active blog when it comes to peoples opinions. WOW!!! People are NOT afraid to voice their views…good, bad or otherwises! It’s a good thing you have a backbone Jen b/c after reading some of the opinions, one WOULD need to be strong in order NOT to feel crushed by some of those words.
Keep on keeping Jen.
Chin Up…This Too Shall Pass!!!
This picture shows a very serious side of Big Mac. I was thinking about you in church today…I hope you were able to go…..being with other adults who love God can really be a powerful thing!
I am wondering if it is possible for the people that have been following Jennifer’s blog to join shoulders and support her during this time? I’m asking that you put pen to paper and write a letter to the Judge in her case about what you have seen going on line. Women from the hater blog have written the Judge in the guise of “concerned citizens” with the intention of having Jennifer’s bankruptcy denied so that she will be financially burdened the rest of her life, with no hope of escape.
I know there are a lot of people that have witnessed what has gone on. I don’t want to put words in anyone’s head about what to write. You will have to write from your own perspective, just as I have done.
Bullies in general get away with what they do because no one stands up for the one being bullied. There is a total imbalance of power. I can’t even begin to imagine the toll of what it feels like to be targeted 7 days a week/24 hours a day for several years now, as the McKinney’s have been. I’m sure that it has stressed the family in all aspects of their lives.
In all of that time I have never seen Jennifer say as much as a harsh word in response to any of these people. Have you?
Please pray about it and if you feel lead please write to (and send copies to all of the following-it is standard procedure in law to send copies to all parties involved):
Judge Dennis D. O’Brien
232 Warren Burger Federal Building and U.S. Courthouse
316 North Robert Street
St. Paul, MN 55101
Trustee:
Gene W. Doeling
121 Roberts St.
P.O. Box 423
Fargo, ND 58107-0423
Jennifer’s Attorney (include an extra copy in there for Jennifer):
Patty L. Wisecup
Wisecup Law Office
9766 Fallon Ave. N.E.
Suite 101
Monticello, MN 55362-4589 (zip was wrong on hater blog)
Where did I find these addresses? On the hater blog. They’ve been very busy.
Enough is enough.
I don’t know if it is necessary to write as the courts will investigate any accusations that people have written and if the claims are without merit the bankruptcy will proceed. I just think that having people write letters here will turn the entire court proceeding into a circus and it may do more harm than help and raise even more questions in the court’s eyes.
I think this is really another example to keep finances private and not share about any of that on a blog. I’m not being critical of Jennifer as I know this is an extremely difficult time for her, but the less shared about finances and other personal things along those lines, the less fuel for the fire for accusations to fly.
Even if she kept her finances private, their daily google searches would have turned up the bankruptcy filing. some people search her county’s court docket weekly, if not daily for the newest percieved “dirt”.
I have been an occasional lurker on this site. I have enjoyed a lot of the recipes and other posts I have read. I’m sorry for this hard time you are going through. I certainly wouldn’t want our difficult seasons in life analyzed and picked apart publically. As for the bankrupsty, if it is true that people are really trying to do that, please update us if anything comes to fruition, and tell your viewers how they can help.
For whatever reason Renee, Jennifer has chosen not to publicly ask for help. Anyone that has researched the hater site knows what is going on.
Please do your homework people. It’s time to circle the wagons.
Enough is enough. This has gone on too long. I hope to heaven that my “letter” gets out there. I have chronicled in detail what has been done to the McKinney family.
God bless.
Thanks for the info. I’m not sure why a group of strangers have banded together to harass a woman. It’s really unbelievable. There are lots of people that are in politics, entertainment, etc., but I have not the notion, desire, or time to invest in researching their lives and badmouthing them on the the internet. Why go after a woman who blogs??? I’ve heard junk about money issues during Stellan’s illness, but really, it’s not our business. If people sent in money, they don’t get to determine how it’s spent. Give it a rest. The child is healed and healthy. They are all going through a difficult time and we are called to lift up one another in prayer.
Please , all haters, just stop reading. Your comments are not wanted. Go and live your life, work hard at your job, love your family and get to know Jesus Christ. He will change your heart and open your eyes to what you have been doing AND most importantly, He will forgive you. Just like He has for all us sinners that have committed our lives to Him. .
Unfortunaley Barbara, the haters are much more pro-active.
It’s time to circle the wagons ladies.
not a hater, not a beloved follower either…but to say that none of the “haters” know Jesus…that is ridiculous…just because you know Jesus doesn’t mean you have it all right all the time…failure or the sinful nature isn’t reserved for those who don’t know Jesus….they have been hurt too….many things have happened to many people because of “inconsistencies” with Jennifer….again…not a “hater”, not a “follower”, just a reader…hope things start to turn around for everyone’s sake…
Not sure it will really help Jennifer’s cause to have a bunch more letters sent to the judge. That might just officially irritate him. Just a thought.
I hear your point Sami but if the Judge only hears from the haters that is going to be an imbalanced presentation. They are writing, they have stated that fact over and over. Can you imagine the financial position that Jennifer will be in if the bankruptcy is denied? She will have no way to recover financially for the rest of her life. Especially given the damage that this hater blog has done to her business.
She bought this house because her blog was bringing in quite a bit of money. How was she suppose to forsee that a hater blog would start a campaign to destroy it? Because they have literally in one years time decreased Jennifer’s income by over $119K she could no longer afford that house, hence the reason they lost it. Yet, they throw it in her face that she did, when in fact they are the ones that made it happen.
I have to believe that information would be important to the Judge in making his decision, as well as other points in how this whole thing has unfolded.
Bullies get away with what they do because no one stands up to them.
I know that your intentions are good here Barb. Thank you for thinking of them. However, I do agree that it may cause more problems for Jennifer. We have always stood by “the TRUTH needs no defending.” And also GOD ALWAYS WINS!!! Sometimes we need to JUST PRAY. God hears our cries for help and He answers. Where two or three are agreeing together GOD MOVES. Jennifer has FAR more then two or three praying for her. God hears and GOD will move. GOD ALWAYS WINS!!!!!
Barb, I want to put this here in case you need to use it. Occasionally, when I have a strong stomach, I check there to see what the haters are up too. Most of the time I leave quickly because they are so vile and disgusting to me.
I also thought this might be useful for anyone who might want to see what they purpose to do to Jennifer.
This was posted by the moderator on the hater site today:
These past few days I’ve received a number of e-mails and have seen comments from individuals who read here regularly, from some who are new to the site and from one who has decided they should no longer participate here.
The e-mails and comments contain a variety of good points:
We are nitpicking.
We are being mean, vengeful and shallow.
We are speculating heavily.
We are taking things too far; there’s a difference between discussing inconsistencies and tearing someone down.
We are losing our ability to affect change in people’s minds and Jennifer’s life and our credibility, because so many choose to be rude, disgusting and to spawn lies.
They also ask questions:
At what point has Jennifer McKinney ‘paid enough’?
How much does she have to lose for it to be enough?
How much hate is there for an internet blogger and when will it end?
What now is the purpose of XXXX? What is next?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See, even the honest readers of the site are well aware that they are disgusting and rude and that they spawn lies about Jennifer to destroy her. They say their purpose is to expose Jennifer’s inconsistencies, but actually they are the liars. They throw things out and gullible people come her and accuse Jennifer of things that are totally made up. Even to the point of crazy people threatening to call social services on her to have her children removed from her care.
They spew this hatred and then act as though they have had no personal responsibility for loss of income for Jennifer and her family.
I believe exposing this is good. You ladies have seen first hand how they come here, sometimes overtly and sometimes slyly, digging at Jennifer in her time of greatest need. They have absolutely no compassion for her or her children. I honestly believe that some of them will not be happy until they snuff the very life out of Jennifer, yes, some of them really are that evil and full of hate. They are internet bullies, plain and simple. This is why those who support Jennifer react harshly to those who leave unkind and accusing comments. The haters are not wanted here and rude comments are not going to be taken lightly, especially during this time when Jennifer needs support and encouragement.
I hope that we can pull together and love and protect Jennifer through this difficult time.
I was slightly encourage by Anja’s post, but once again the carnage began.
I can’t even begin to imagine what the McKinney’s have gone through these last several years. My point in writing to the Judge was to give him a heads up how this hater blog had a part in driving the McKinney’s into bankruptcy and also with interfering with every aspect of their lives. Calling CPS, writing sponsors so that they would drop Jennifer. To tell the truth, I wonder if all of this bullying and the stress from it has contributed to the present marriage situation. I hope and pray that the Judge intervenes in this case, there are cyber bullying laws in Minnesota.
I was very touched by Sami’s post over there the other day:
“I really feel like you’ve crossed the line. To post on here that Israel left her was completely heartless. That was for her to share if and when she was ready. To take something that was on her personal FB page and make it public was tacky and disgusting. I’m not sure when enough will be enough for some of you. When will it end? Her marriage ending in divorce? Her in an orange suit or baody bag? Her kids living with people other than their parents? I mean, what more destruction do you need to see in her life to make you happy? I really don’t understand.”
And now after “outing” Jennifer’s marriage situation they are now bashing her for discussing it at all. When in fact they are the ones that put it out there.
On top of that I’ve been worried about Jennifer myself. How much is ONE individual suppose to take? I have to believe that this constant barrage and attacks have changed her. It has to be HORRIBLE for her.
The reason for posting the addresses is that yes indeed the hater blog has written the Judge & the trustee. I’ve documented it in my “letter”. I also gave the Judge the screen name of this “concerned citizen” that took the time to write him: “Mcksicko”.
What does that screen name say? If I were a Judge and I saw that, I would think twice about putting any weight to the words of a nameless, faceless cyber bully who goes by the screen name: “Mcksicko”.
THESE are grown women? Unbelievable.
Wow! If this statement is true and people are actually writing the judge in order to deny the bankruptcy request, then the level of crazy has reached new heights. Gossip is one thing (not that I agree with that either), but to personally take an active and aggressive approach in an effort to ruin a complete stranger’s life is just so unfathomable to me. It would be bad enough if the impact would only affect Jennifer, a grown adult, but to do such acts while knowing full well that it will have a greater impact on the lives of 5 innocent, young children is nothing but malicious. I just honestly cannot wrap my head around the fact that these people are so hell-bent on this mission that they would take it to this level. Pathetic….
Exactly CM. They just recently contacted “Vibrams” just in case there was going to be any affiliation with Jennifer……..that is just the tip of the iceberg. They know that Jennifer is the primary financial support for FIVE children………….how can they then try to take away this family’s main income source? Especially now with a Father not in the picture. They’ve done a great job in trying to destroy her blog. They’ve affected her income tremendously.
We all need to pray, enough is enough. This has gone on long enough.
The arm of the Lord is not too short to deal with this.
Hi Barb,
Have you talked to Jennifer about this? I’m just wondering what SHE wants?? Or what she would think about people writing to the judge and/or her lawyer. I do agree many people are harsh on Jen however, please keep in mind this blog is a choice….Jennifer’s Choice. If things get too much for her, she can choose to stop the blog or even stop the comments. I have a feeling Jennifer is a lot stronger than people give her credit for. I do wish her well. I wish her peace, happiness & love and I DO think she will be okay. It’s nice of you to be so protective & proactive however, just make sure it’s what Jen actually wants.
Jennifer is i’m sure, VERY strong. However, this blog is her income, her JOB, and her passion.Not easy to stop, or stop comments. If Jennifer stopped moderating the comments here and allowed them all to be posted, I’m sure all of us would be completely in shock at the extreme rude and hateful comments she recieves that don’t make it past moderation. That is strength. To read someone’s hate toward you, delete it, and carry on. Jennifer may not be completely in agreement with her supporters writing to the Judge, but she did allow Barb’s post through moderation. I hope the Judge is aware of the site dedicated to tearing the Mckinneys down, if only so he knows the source of the letters written to him contesting Jennifer and Israels filing of Chapter 7.
I think by posting this you are doing more harm than good. My brother is a bankruptcy attorney and while all pieces of documentation that are given to the court that can be substantiated must be entered into the case, a letter from a blog reader that just thinks Jennifer is a great person and who should be able to file bankruptcy isn’t going to cut it. And I would be afraid that letters like that would propel the judge and attorneys to dig a little deeper into the paperwork.
I read her for enjoyment, and I do pray for Jennifer, Isreal and their children because separation is painful for all parties. And while I don’t really get the other site… I found it because of things you and other commenters read.
I’m pretty sure Jennifer monitors her comments, so she let your post through… I just hope it does more good than damage.
Actually, it’s quite helpful. At least, our lawyer thought so!
Whether or not it helps your bankruptcy case or not, I think it will maybe at least open the eyes of higher officials that there is a major cyberbully issue going on. Has your lawyer said anything about that? Can anything be done to shut it down?
Exactly.
Ok Jennifer, then I will write too. You can count on that. HUGS!!!
I’ve been wanting to write for days and tell you I am praying for you and your little ones. You are one strong, smart, dedicated, and beautiful momma. I am sending you a big hug…. w/love.
He looks so focused!
He’s such a smart, good boy!
You must be very proud of Kieran!
tara
Many continued prayers for you & your entire family!
Amy
Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you & praying for you & your sweet kiddos. Keep your chin up & don’t let the naysayers get you down.
To those who are being judgmental, imagine if you, a family member or a close friend was going through what Jennifer’s family is going through. Would you say mean and judgmental things to them? Would you want to hear mean comments from other if this was you? Most likely not. What Jennifer and her family is going through is similar to what thousands of others are through right now. We need to pray for the families, the children and the ones (mothers and fathers) who have left their families. Jennifer sharing her struggles with us is a way to help herself heal and become stronger (for some, talking about it is a way to heal) and she is helping others speak out who are going through or have bern through the same thing. Because Jennifer is sharing her story, I am hugging my child a little longer and thanking my husband for being supportive. Jennifer, thank you for what you have shared and for being an example of a woman who is putting one foot in front of another. Praying for your entire family.
Well said Allisa.
People will always be judgmental. I think it reveals a fundamental lack/need in their own lives. Jennifer needs as much positive reinforcement as she can get right now. She needs it to be there for her precious children who are completely innocent in whatever is going on.
Amen and amen.
Big Mac’s eyes look so sad to me in this picture. I wonder sometimes why so few people can read emotions in people and in pictures. Underneath the blog posts is a real family. The blog is a business. There have been signs for months (maybe longer) that something was not quite right in this family. Jennifer’s resistence to moving to the farm (because MckDaddy had a dream to live that way) was so intense that she got sick. We all read about her adjusting to the farmhouse and making it a HOME, something that she is very good at. Actually, Jennifer is very good at making lemonade out of lemons. She gave her family the full farm experience. But she didn’t post pictures of herself and MckDaddy was hardly ever mentioned except that he was working. Then there was a crisis with the house. I believe it was bugs. Then everyone got sick and Stellan was hospitalized with pneumonia. That one really freaked me out because basically the MckKids are very very healthy. I for one, started to think that there is something toxic in that house. Then, she started talking about moving and then, MckDaddy did not move with her and the children. Oh, and in the middle of all this, Jennifer started working out and feeling better about herself and her body. I don’t know what is going on but there are alot of clues here. A MARRAIGE is between two people and the push and pul that goes on regarding what is right for the individual and what is right for the family is complicated. Throw in what a Christian wife or husband is SUPPOSED to do and it gets even more complicated. I believe that the only way is to commune quietly with God. God will supply every answer and every need. This is non-demoninational. It is about a personal relationship with God. Whatever happens, it is God’s Will. The damage from what happens is man’s ego and need to control everything. Peace to this family as you all go deep into that quiet place that will Lead you to a peace that passes all understanding.
Life does not have to give you lemons for you to have lemonade. You can go staright to the lemonade. God truly loves us that much.
This may be the best, most accurate and most encouraging comment I’ve ever read on this blog. Thanks.
Except the part about my husband wanting to live on the farm and about me getting sick because of the decision.
Not sure where that came from.
I think sometimes we get sick for a lot of different reasons (not just physical, I mean). I could see a connection through a stressful life change – which you did say was true of you moving to the farm and then getting sick (did you have the flu or something? I can’t remember. I can’t even remember if *I* had the flu this year!).
No we haven’t had the flu this winter thankfully!
The actual details are not really important and only Jennifer and her family knows what they are. It may not have been that MckDaddy wanted to move specifically to the farmhouse but there was something about you supporting him in his vision for the family and you had resistance to moving to the farmhouse (which you turned into an amazing home for your family). The illness was you being hospitalized just before going home after your family travels. The move came after that. The details don’t matter, it is the underlying energy and something has seemed off to me for a while. I am not being critical in any way, you have in fact done an incredible job of keeping it all together. Mind, body and spirit are all connected. The details don’t really matter. Those details separate us when we should all be communing with God for a spiritual solution. Wishing you peace.
I remember that too — because you didn’t want to live in a rundown place etc. I am sure it was in an old post! Doesn’t really matter though — not important facts!
That’s why I got sick? Hmmm, guess I just don’t get it, or the idea that my husband wanted the farm sort of lifestyle.
My 6 and 8 year olds had those same eyes last night while doing their homework. There’s no turmoil in their lives. Sometimes when we hear hoof beats we assume it’s a zebra but usually it’s just a horse.
It always kind of shocks me at how all good manners fly out the window on the internet. In real life if someone thought he looked sad they’d keep it to themselves (unless they were particularly close) but aloud they’d say “What a gorgeous boy you have there!” or to that effect. On the internet, it’s no holds barred.
I think some sensitivity is in order unless otherwise asked.
It’s not uncommon or rude to notice a little boy looking sad. Really? Little boys are sad for a lot of reasons – they lost their favorite toy, their brothers didn’t include them in play, or their parents are separated. This was not at all a hurtful comment. I think it was WAY more sensitive than most. Jennifer is very good at capturing emotions with her lens. I think it would be a stretch to say he looks happy (although he IS stinkin’ adorable!).
Thank you. I certainly did not mean anything negative by saying that I thought Big Mac looked sad in the picture. I don’t actually know if he was sad, I said I thought he looked sad. I have seen so many pictures of these beautiful children with their bright shining eyes and big smiles on their faces. This one looked different. Its not a bad thing. It just is. But I could be way off, maybe the look is concentration or tiredness or a random look caught by the camera. He is ALWAYS beautiful.
Aahh such a sweetie. Someone mentioned his cowlick which I also just love! So great to see him being “Big Mac”.
This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! I know it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other, but you have 5 beautiful reasons to rejoice every day (you know that already tho)
Blessings!
You are doing great, at least from what I can tell! One thing I have learned since my husband left, is that I can only focus on today. If I look at the big picture, or the “what ifs”, I get totally overwhelmed. Keep loving your babies and keeping life as normal as possible for them. You can do this!
MckMama – so sorry you are being hit with such judgmental comments, including some of the “advice” comments which are actually thinly-veiled judgment (most of the advice seems good, but some – not so much). None of these people have actually walked in your shoes. You know yourself and you know your kids. You’re going through an incredibly tough time, but you are strong and want the best for your family, so you all will come out safe on the other side of this.
As for all you “holier than thou” judgmental types out there, in the words of Thumper the Bunny – “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.” Now’s not the time for your judgment – what’s needed now is love, prayers, encouragement, and support.
Yes I agree…….the “advice” suggestions are just a slick way to pass judgement.
If Jennifer wants advice from anybody she will ask. Random people out in cyber space that offer such things……well I just don’t get it……rather audacious……..kind of like being in a prayer circle and someone asks for pray for someone and then spills the persons “dirty laundary” in the guise of a prayer request. Not cool.
I agree with everything you said here, Barbara.
I agree with her too, mckmana. No one has the right to condemn another. We are all sinners and Jesus paved the way for us to keep trying. You are certainly trying as am I and so many. It seems like a lot of others need to let go and let God.
Some of the folks seem to be giving legitimate advice, though – “seek financial guidance” “be careful how you portray your husband” – those are truly good intentions. Or at least they seem to be well-guided. If you’ve been in a similar position as someone going through a hard time it seems normal to me to want to have them learn from the error of your ways. I don’t have anything to offer in this case but if I did I wouldn’t hesitate to pass it on.
You sound like such a good soul!
Unfortunatley, the other “well intentioned’ people don’t.
What a cutie that Big Mac is…and isn’t homeschooling great? Still praying for you!
keeping all of you in my thoughts! sticking to a schedule will help you & the kiddos! stay strong!
Strong enough or not, regardless of how you feel, you CAN do this and you have to for your own sake and for the sake of those precious children.
You have so many folks praying for you, helping you, lifting you up, you aren’t alone.
You do need help though and I sure hope you have that.
You CAN, you WILL, do this for as long as you need to.
Try to get a decent night’s sleep, tomorrow is another new day.
This helped me in my time of adversity (going on right now, actually):
When it seems as if everything has fallen apart, what really is going on is that God is picking up the pieces and putting them back together in the order that HE wants them.
Let them see you cry, Jennifer, so they can celebrate with you when you smile. Your husband loves God, which means he will find a way to love you all again.
I have faith that you will have the strength to get through tomorrow!
Hi Jennifer, I’ve been following your blog for a little while and I adore it. A couple things…
It’s hard as hell, but every time I work out, I’m so happy with myself.
1. I love the Stellan video and the song that goes with it.
2. I love your pictures.
3. I love how beautiful your children are. (I teach, and I love seeing happy kids.)
4. I love how honest you are about working out and wanting to lose weight. I’m doing the same thing, but I don’t have 5 kids as an excuse for the weight I’ve gained, which I think makes it worse.
5. The other website about you, you know the one, is really odd & kind of creepy.
6. Some of the commentors on here remind me of snarky and shallow people that are on reality tv. I read them, even though I know I’ll be shaking my head in disbelief after I’m finished. Just like I watch real housewives, even though I may feel dumber afterwards, you know?
7. I love the prayers and thoughts people are sending you. People can be so nice.
8. Please keep up the blog. It’s like a really good picture book.
I cant imagine all you have on your plate! I admire your strength so much and pray that the Lord will continue to provide patience and a spirit of TRUSTING Him as you continue to press on. I also pray that you would be led by the Holy Spirit to continue raising your kids and that God will give you wisdom. Most of all, i pray for your husbands heart to be convicted by the Holy Spirit to come home. To fulfill his commitment and to find peace and joy in it.
Thank you for sharing in your journey. I see that you get all kinds of comments on here. I pray that mine (as a new reader, this is one of my first) will always be uplifting
And kuddo’s to you for homeschooling. WOW. Hard job!
his eyes look sad and what kid wouldn’t be sad and confused at this point? I guess whether or not McMamma wants to make money on publishing this trauma drama is her decision. If it were me, I would be bleeding all over the Internet, so you can give her credit for trying to keep it together by posting meals and photos of the kids.
I fail to see how his eyes look sad! He looks like he is concentrating on his school work! Amazing what people will read into things trying to see the worst.
A song I remember singing when in my church choir… 25 years ago. I think of it in difficult times.
I cast all my cares upon you.
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And any time I don’t know what to do.
I cast all my cares upon you.
Praying for you & your precious children.
You can do this. Just trust in the Lord.
He’s adorable. Praying for y’all.
Hey there. Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. Can’t even imagine the many emotions you are feeling as well as the many thoughts you have going around in your head. Just wanted to let you know that I think you are an awesome mom and that your family is really a neat one. Also praying for you husband during this time.
my heart breaks for you and your family. praying for you all in what must be such a difficult time right now.
Have the kids seen their Daddy since he left? I just can’t imagine a man walking out on five (six) family members even thought I know it takes 2 for an argument. The VERY best of luck to ALL of you.
That Big Mac is just so gifted! Even studying on a Saturday, I am SO very impressed by his intellugence! He must take after his super smartie mama!
Keep your head up Mama. Youre doing fine. One day at a time.
I wonder what delishus masterpieces you have created for the MSC today for lunch.
Well Mckmama I am off to do the dishes now. I know boring right haha. But a lass, I wanted to check in with you first. I sure hope you felt refreshed and a new this morning when you woke up because I bathed you in prayer all night long!
So sad. Kids should not have to move so much and have someone they loved walk out on them. The psychological toll is monumental and will show up later on.
Dr. Tillie,
Your bedside manners suck ass. I’m sure MckMama truly appreciates your exquisite forsight though. How many years have you been studying the psychological effects of children who move often or are raised by single parents? I’m also very curious to know how many memories do YOU have of being 3 and younger?
What a fool.
My husband walked on me when I was pregnant with our third child, I had two little ones at home as well. There was a huge psychological toll on my children and they struggled in many different areas. We had to move three times after he left and yes it absolutely took a toll on my kids. This was 21 years ago. The impact on the children is HUGE. I will not get into details about their struggles as that is too personal. I’m hoping in this situation of Jennifer’s that the marriage will work out.
Keeping them on schedule was very important after he left. We did not have to move for three years after that as he stopped paying child support and I lost my home. I remember when we moved into my mother’s house my three year old was standing next to me as I cleaned my Mom’s fridge and he was crying saying I want to go home I want to go home, I can picture it in my mind as if it happened yesterday, it crushed me.
Praying for your situation and I hope that your husband regularly visits with the children mine did not and I think that even though he left if he still remained a strong father figure in their lives that they would not have had all the problems that they did have and still have.
Girl Child….you called a commenter a FOOL! This is exactly the kind of negative comment that contributes to the nastiness of this blog. It is not loving or supportive or helpful. Jennifer has a lot on her plate and is being supported through comments and prayers but almost no-one says anything about the children. These children, particularly the older ones are carrying a huge load. My first response to the picture of Big Mac doing school work is how tired he looks. Children take on responsibility when there is hurt around them. I am not saying in ANY way that Jennifer is not aware of this and supporting them in the best way that she can but there is NOTHING wrong with a reader showing concern for the phycological well-being of those beautiful children.
Oh Girl Child… it absolutely WILL have a deep impact on those kids! They might not have vivid memories but they will remember the feeling of change, insecurity, abandonment and just seeing the emotion in their Mommy’s face.
As mothers, we are charged with making everything seem as normal as possible.. put on a smile when we feel like crying and keep their lives consistent. Men, get to walk away and not worry if their kids are being hurt or not and they certainly do not have to see it in their little faces every day and hear their little cries at night. They know that the Mommy’s will take care of it. Infuriates me to no end when all these “Daddy’s” just split.
Reading this comment makes me envision you smirking while typing. I think that is even sadder than the situation this family is facing.
No words of support, kicking someone when they are down. I think I’ll pray for you tonight.
I couldn’t disagree more. My daughter’s father and I divorced when she was 4. She is the most centered, even keeled, kind kid ever. Her father lived in California until recently and we are in Ohio. She saw him once a year from 4 until 14…..now he lives in the eastern side of the states but she still sees him once a year. She has no psychological trauma. She is an honor student in honors classes at school. She is 17 years old and is an awesome, well adjusted kid. Was it hard when we were divorcing, absolutely. Is she a hot mess that wears all black and has piercings all over her face….not even close! I did put her in counseling when she was 4, just so she has someone “unbiased” to talk to if she needed it but she is great! She wants to go to school to be a lawyer that defends juvenile offenders……so to say that it will have a psychological toll is ridiculous and unfair. There are just as many kids with 2 parents in the home that are mentally screwed up. It is all about stability and if they have routines and stability given by their mother, they will be just fine! Thinking and praying Mckmama!!!!!
Same here, my sons father and I were never married and our 15 year old is the most even keeled kid ever. He’s loving, caring, relaxed. He sees his dad every few months when schedules work. But I’ve always given him a very stable environment, stable meaning I’ve always kept him safe and made him feel loved. I’m thinking of you and your kiddos Mckmama!!! Stay strong, you can get through this!!!
I think i’m surprised at the reaction to this comment. I’m new to this blog and this is the first post that i’ve read multiple comments on and i’m shocked at how “controversial” some of the comments have been (or have been taken as).
I totally read this thinking “so true” until i read the replies to the comment itself. I get where IF you may know “tillie” and know her to be a smartie you may find this offensive. But i dont know her so i totally took it more in terms of “how sad that this situation will likely have lasting consequences for innocent children”.
Yes, i know that there are some kids who have gone through a TON who are well adjusted *by the grace of God!*. And for others, the hurt never fully heals. There are exceptions in every direction. But as a rule, i see tillie’s point.
Maybe it was meant in a more smart tone than that?
How interesting.
Kelly, I don’t know this commenter either, yet the comment was ill-timed. Even if there are shreds of truth to it, there was absolutely no support offered.
It’s like coming across a car accident, stopping for a moment to let the injured driver know that their head is bleeding and they’ll likely have really bad scars…then walking away. It’s self-serving, and unhelpful.
I had multiple comments like this after my 10 year old son was abused by his teacher. “He’s going to be damaged for the rest of his life”….”He’ll never be the same”….”Things like this can ruin a kid.” Like I wasn’t already living the nightmare. It’s hard to move past those comments, but I sure did cling to the ones of hope. That is what Jen needs right now. Hope.
I moved over 23 times by the time I turned eighteen. 4 years was the longest time we lived in one house. My parents fought constantly during some very crucial developmental teen years – serious fighting. lots of sitting us down telling us they were getting a divorce. making up the next day. sitting us down again. never resolving issues. they stayed together. but we had some years of pure hell. During these years of fighting, I was also homeschooled and had no escape and no outside friends. Several things extremely unhealthy about how I grew up. my parents have since grown up – love eachother very much and are very much together. All four of us kids made it. only one has had some serious relational struggles and went through a divorce. I struggled through my issues and went to counseling and no doubt it took me some time to learn how to develop deep relationships from all that moving and isolation. It’s amazing what kids can go through and become well adjusted adults. If you trust God with each day in front of you – sometimes you have to just focus on small increments of time in front of you to not get overwhelmed with your situation .He is sooo awesome. He will help you raise awesome kids – whether alone or whether your husband returns. He is your source. He holds your kids days in his hands. Your kids are not a victim to circumstances. You can protect them in a lot of ways and provide the stability they need. Your support system can help meet other needs too. you can do this!
Kristy
I see your point entirely. Brilliant. Indeed, ill timed. And incomplete in thought if she cared to offer any hope or support.
Maybe i’m giving her more credit, thinking that she may have made an innocent mistake in not offering the “rest” of the sentence.
I really am BRAND new to this blog and i’m just SHOCKED at how many people have made such controversial comments and *hope* that some are taken out of context.
SORRY! That reply was meant for SARAH. Not Kristy.
Its SO great that you are keeping them on schedule during this very difficult time. Any bit a normalcy is so helpful.
Praying for you!
He’s adorable. I want to hug him. (I didn’t mean for that to sound creepy. I just love kids. Again, NOT a creeper.)
Some might say studious, all I can see is sad. His little face looks blank, disengaged and elsewhere. You requested privacy but that includes you doing your part to preserve that. Please consider your children’s rights during what has to be a difficult time in their lives. I would not want such a photo of me published for the world to see. You are their mother & have a duty of care to protect them.
I really do wish you & your children well.
Since this is Jennifer’s blog, I guess she should be allowed to post what she feels the need. I mean there are many others from “that place” that didn’t feel the need to protect her privacy or that of the children. People can’t have it both ways. They can’t ask her to be private for the sake of the kids, but then put it all out there while not protecting the kids.
I say if it helps her cope or deal then post what she feels is right. Everything is up to interpretation. Some will see a sad boy looking at the computer, and some will see a child looking at the computer deep in thought. Jennifer, I pray things begin to look up and you start feeling more at peace. My husband and I are both from divorced parents, and we both have had great lives.
Why can another commenter post the same below and not get jumped on? My comment is well intentioned. Parents MUST be the protectors of their children’s privacy, in both good and difficult times. I would not want someone posting a photo of me online without my permission. Given children this age cannot possibly understand the reach of the internet and possible implications in the future they need to be protected now.
We all know it is Jennifer’s blog and I guarantee that everyone has the children’s well being in mind, even those who disagree strongly with her.
Likewise I am from a home where my parents divorced. On the night we moved my father held my mother & I hostage in a closet with a shotgun then tied us up and disappeared with my three siblings for 48 hours. I was 17 at the time and understand the trauma of separation. I didn’t tell anyone of our ordeal for some time and cannot imagine what it would be like to have the details published to the world in an identifying way.
I don’t know, Kerrie. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are a known hater on a clear mission to spew negativity in this woman’s life at every turn? Maybe that’s why.
EXACTLY!!!! People are really pathetic who must try and bring someone down when they know they are going thru a trial like this.
Seriously Kerrie…He looks like any other kid who’s into their computer…give me a break on your view that he looks blank and disengaged…You probably have so many personal problems that you can’t wait to find someone else that you “hope” will have the same…
He looks like he’s concentrating on what he sees on the screen. Children look like that when they are at the computer, I’m a teacher, and I see it daily. Regardless of what happens in J’s marriage, those children KNOW they are loved.
Likewise, I work in education and have children, I also see it daily.
Yes, I’m sure the children know they are loved, that is not the point of my comment. Everything on the net is able to be traced. The children will be able to read this blog one day and may object to having their photos at a traumatic time in their lives out there for public viewing and comment. They are as entitled to their privacy as anyone who can expressly give it.
Good gracious….there are MANY MANY bloggers who post pictures of their children. Some post a lot worse pictures than a young man studying on the computer. Are you going to their blogs and asking them to protect their privacy…yay I doubt it. Sad thing is I doubt you really have good intentions if you are trying to bring Jennifer down. Kind of like the “others” who say they care about the kids. If they cared about the kids, then they wouldn’t try bringing the family down, and then laugh about it.
Totally new here, so i dont know any of you who are commenting, but can i just ask why of all places to choose this blog at this difficult time to try to make your case for protecting the privacy of children? There are millions of blogs administrated by parents who choose to place pics of their children on it for whatever reason. And facebook is full of kids pics. I’m just wondering. I understand that you, Kerrie, feel strongly that the rights of childrens privacy should be protected (and whether i agree or disagree is a mute point here) but do you really feel that at this difficult time in this bloggers life that its appropriate to make your case?
If you truly have concerns, which its obvious that you do, I would suggest that you lobby for legislation to protect the privacy of children or something.
Specifically my question is this… are you making comments on every blog you run across that posts pictures of their children or is this picture particularly concerning to you?
I just see a little boy looking at a computer. Give me a break.
You posted what you see, as did I. Just because my interpretation is different doesn’t make me wrong.
Yes, it does make you wrong, if he in fact IS concentrating and not disengaged and sad. You can’t just form an opinion based on what you want to see and call your interpretation fact.
He is either blank sad, disengaged or he is preoccupied, deep in thought and concentration. It shouldn’t be open for individual interpretation.
How does me saying what I see make me wrong? Perhaps those who feel that he is concentrating are also wrong then too.
Given that no-one commenting here, with the exception of Jennifer maybe, really knows exactly what his thoughts and feelings are it potentially makes us all wrong.
I posted what I saw, how he looked to me. Had I said “He is sad, disengaged, blank and elsewhere” then yes, I could have been wrong. It was MY statement, MY interpretation of what I was seeing.
I’ll add here that if he is indeed sad, then it is perfectly understandable as to why this is so. Separation, sudden home relocation and terrible upheaval are very difficult on anyone, particularly children who tend to see things is very black & white terms. My father left us when I was 17 and even then I found it hard to understand. I can’t imagine what a child ten years younger must be feeling.
I do believe the children will be okay, I believe Jennifer will be okay, whatever happens regarding her marriage. I understand a great deal of where she is at. I was left when I was pregnant with my second daughter, my first daughter having died two weeks short of her first birthday. It’s hard, really hard.
Your “interpretation” was insensitive and not meant to encourage but to tear down. She doesn’t need that right now.
with ya Rachele!
This is her occupation people. This blog is how she is supporting her family….alone now. She is attempting to walk the fine line of enough to keep readership up and not too much to exploite the situation. She is entitled to mixes feelings, anger, sadness, and to change her mind. For those that are sooo concerned for the kids privacy…..stop clicking on her page. Don’t participate in the public posts. Secondly I feel she has been noting but a class act and not derogatory at all. This is her occupation so she has to share enough to keep us coming. If you feel this is wrong then simply find another blog to follow that meets your moral and psychological criteria.
I see a picture by a photographer of a very handsome boy. I can not dare interpret what is going on in his mind or heart. He looks cared for, fed, safe and healthy.
Maybe you shouldn’t be reading her blog at all of you have a problem with what’s she is posting. I will pray for you!
From the show Annie.. Tomorrow, the sun will come out tomorrow. Your tomorrow might be next week, next month……Been there feeling numb, I was so numb I could even handle going through the drive through of McDonalds. My son was going through major health issues, my husband was in England for work and no family in town. Now, many years later I’m so much stronger. God kept getting out his 2×4 and hitting me upside the head to remind me it was in his time and his way. I pray for you and your family every night. What about the kitties?
I was so impressed with Big Mac’s math skills that you talked about on FB. Kudos!! It is so important for kids to be able to excel at academics (or even sports) when there is turmoil at home. Gives them a good self image and self respect which helps buffer them from the painful bounces.
I meant self-image and self-respect…LOL
Love that Big Mac & his sweet cow lick!
Awwwww he looks sad to me.
I’m sure everything is very hard on everybody.
I give you TONS of credit/applause for trying to maintain as normal as schedule for your kiddos. Whatever “normal” is for you now, I pray that God’s peace and presence floods every moment of your day and your kids’ day as well! I have not ceased praying for you and give thanks to God for your faith. May your hope continue to rest in Him you look to Him for where to place your next step.
how studious!
He looks so smart
and is so focused just like his Mama.