I tried to cry myself to sleep. It didn’t work. I just cried. And stayed awake. So here I am, to babble to you!
So I’ve made my decision about where my little loves and I are going to move. I am beyond thankful for the support of my friends who have been helping us with all aspects of this process. I am breathless that this is even happening, though. Surreal. I am moving out. Moving on. With just my children. Alone. Not in a house with my husband. This must be a dream. A bad dream. A very bad dream. But it’s not. It’s our reality. And we have no choice but to live it. But dammit (Damnit? I don’t know how to spell it. I don’t swear. Except for right now. At least, I tried to!) I’m going to do my darndest to make lemonade for my children every day.
Did you hear about the Susan G. Komen Foundation’s decision today to cut ties with Planned Parenthood!? Wow! I raised some eyebrows quite a while back when I removed Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure ads from my blog, citing their longstanding, very supportive relationship with Planned Parenthood. But it was what I believed was right, a chance to stand up in a small way in support of unborn babies and their right to be born and be loved. And today, the Susan G. Komen Foundation has brought a smile to my face. I believe they made the right choice, choosing to at last recognize the impossible dichotomy between saving lives and ending them.
From what we hear from her new family, Lulie has still not given birth yet. For the love of all that is holy, someone break that girl’s water or get her some pitocin! If I let myself, I can become very sad about our goats no longer being in our lives. Missing Lulie and Olive giving birth. Not feeling them lick me when I come to scratch on them. And…. Oh, I have to stop. But I do know that, well, they are just goats. And it was far and away the necessary decision to make for our family, to let them have new homes. But still.
Small Fry went to throw away the crust from her sandwich today and said, “Where’s the chicken scrap bucket, Mama!?” I reminded her that we didn’t have chickens anymore, so we didn’t need the bucket, either. Thankfully, the children have been very okay with rehoming our farm animals. Surprisingly, actually. They seem to be dealing with it better than I am.
Those crazy five fingered shoes that I have been raving about also come in kids’ sizes, which are now on sale right here! There is no way I can justify a pair, though Big Mac will eventually be outgrowing his current footwear and, not expecting any hand-me-downs, we may give those a shot for his next shoes at that point. But we’ll see. I also don’t have a bed anymore. It was ruined by the blasted bugs. But whatever. I’d rather have my husband. Sucks not to have either right now.
We ate falafel for dinner the other night. I love it, though it’s not something I’ve offered to my brood for quite some time. To my surprise, even Big Mac loved it. It just is not a normal, everyday, run of the mill taste. So, even though they are pretty outside the box, adventurous eaters, I didn’t know if they’d go for it. But they did.
Okay, I think I blogged myself tired. That was actually the plan. No time or desire for proofreading tonight, so I’ve no doubt I said something silly, like when I Tweeted and Facebooked tonight that Small Fry had my “knew support wrap” on her arms instead of my “knee support wrap.” Oh, well. My Twitter and Facebook page, should you desire to follow me there, are sort of my unfiltered means of sharing at any given moment what is happening in our lives or how I’m feeling. Autocorrections sometimes included.
Goodnight!
From SGK this morning:
http://blog.komen.org/?p=994
Well, looks like they fell to the pressure again and changed their minds.
http://thescoopblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2012/02/komen-apologizes-for-recent-de.html
Headline: “Komen apologizes for ‘recent decisions,’ pledges to continue funding Planned Parenthood”
How much sense does it make that taking away funding for an organization that provides free birth control to the poor will LOWER the number of abortions performed in our country? Also, let’s not kid ourselves–this is not a great moral stance by SGK. This is a political move. In the end, business is business and this is about money.
Actually, the ratio of birth control offered to abortions provided is astronomical and only getting more dramatic. Meaning? They are providing a lower and lower percentage of birth control and a higher and higher one of abortions. The notion that the birth control they offer has or will lower the number of abortions provided is sadly not supported by facts.
Everything I have read disagrees with what you have posted here, can you please provide the source of your information?
http://exposeplannedparenthood.net/
Really, that’s what you are basing your opinion on? A slanted and biased website that provides little factual information and LOTS of drama?
I had hoped for more substance from you on this subject.
The oft touted stance that the grant money “went to give mammograms to needy women”!? Also not true: http://www.lifenews.com/2011/04/18/komen-admits-planned-parenthood-grants-dont-get-women-mammograms/ There has been deception and twisted words by Planned Parenthood. And also the killing of 332,278 babies in 2009 alone. Those alone are more than enough for me to base my opinion one. Killing babies: bad. Helping people: good. Doing both: ridiculous. I don’t need strings of facts, though I have read and linked to plenty, to help me reach that conclusion.
The oft touted stance that there are 1000′s of free clinics for needy women to get cancer screenings, also not true. There has been deception and twisted words by Abby Johnson and your very slanted link above.
I agree killing babies are bad, I’m sure you don’t think that I think that is good since I have clearly stated differently multiple times in this thread.
Frankly while I respect your passion on the subject, I do not respect your credibility on statements made in support of your passion.
I’m with sportsmom. You do realize that anyone on the internet can write anything. Of course you do.
I am absolutely delighted at this turn of events. Yesterday, SGK royally ticked off half of the world, most of whom will continue to feel disgust even though they have reversed the decision. Today, they have ticked off the other half.
I also am questioning the fact that you “dont need a string of facts.” That says it all right there.
Sportsmom, “Really, that’s what you are basing your opinion on? A slanted and biased website that provides little factual information and LOTS of drama?”
SOUNDS JUST LIKE MWOP
@Chris,
Well yea, I would agree with that but I’m lost as to the relevance to my comment or this topic. Please explain.
@Chris, Sportsmom has been a long time supporter and defender for Jennifer. they are certainly allowed to have discussion and disagreement without that website or those people being brought up.
@sportsmom: How do you determine in your mind which life is more important? Just trying to understand your logic b/c you state you’re against killing an innocent life (all the abortions)…are you seriously saying that your free mammogram or free birth control is more important than saving thousands of murdered children?
I do agree that I think it is a political ploy … sad
I used to get annual exams and mammograms thru our local Health dept. They had a program for women 40 and older who are uninsured. However, that programs funding was depleted. Breast cancer can happen to a woman of any age, yet the federal programs are inclined to only include 40 plus women. Fortunately I am insured now! PP referrals are available to all women no matter what the age! This argument can go on and on. Yes PP do perform abortions, however, so do most OB’s in local hospitals…They also provide MANY other types of care! I will continue to contribute to SBK foundation, I have many dear friends in my age group fighting this dreadful cancer….I will always support and pray for them and everyone else fighting cancer. We can only hope SBK will reconsider its decision one day! Still lifting you and your sweet family in prayer! Have a wonderful weekend!
I am so sorry you are going through this time. You have helped my marriage in the past – we struggled for a couple of years, sometimes without talking for days, and then I saw “Love and War” posted on your blog one night. That book was one of the things (after God) that helped me to make changes in my attitude and behavior and now, even though it’s not amazing, it’s better here. I’m still reading books (all Bible-based) and working on myself – selfish attitude, my ‘want’ list, etc. God is in the midst when we allow Him room. He will bring you through, no matter what the outcome.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/02/susan-g-komen_n_1250651.html VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE FROM TOP EXEXUTIVES OF SGK POINT OF VIEW.
ANNNNNND I CAN’T SPELL TODAY!
I don’t support abortion, I don’t support PP so regardless of why I am happy that Komen no longer provides funding.
Regarding your current life status – I continue to lift you and your children in prayer. While I am fully aware that I am far removed from your situation and don’t know you or your family on a personal level, I don’t support a man who chooses to walk away from responsibility. He chose to marry you, he chose to have children with you and become a father. How can he just walk away and except support?
These arguments for abortion are terrifying! There are those who openly acknowledge that abortion is the killing of human beings and use the excuse that “Unfortunately, SOMETIMES killing someone is better than not ( from “Sleepyhead” ).” What??!! What if a woman decides she doesn’t want her child after it’s born? Is it okay for her to kill her newborn baby? Or her one-year-old? What about her two-year-old toddler? Are we taking away her right to choose when we say that’s wrong? You say you hope more women don’t throw their babies away in garbage cans. Why would you care if mothers threw away their babies if they don’t want them? According to this line of “reasoning,” she would be doing them a favor. What age does a child have to reach before murdering him/her is not okay? It’s a dangerous, slippery slope when individuals start thinking some lives have value while others do not. It was this “reasoning” that Adolf Hitler used to convince a country to kill millions of Jews, people with disabilities and anyone else who he decided held no value.
And to those who are trying to devalue the life of every child who has been through foster care, or adoption–would it be okay if we just went out and murdered them all now? Just because a mother decides to give her child up, does NOT mean those children go through their entire life being unloved and unwanted by all other human beings. Also, I’m pretty sure those who have been given up for adoption, or placed in foster care, would choose life with their adoptive/foster parents rather than death at the hands of their biological parents.
For those who say it’s better to be murdered before birth rather than face any potential risk of being abused or neglected after they are born, does it not occur to you the horrific pain and agony a baby goes through while dying a torturous death during an abortion? How can you be okay with that?
To the ones who say they would never personally have an abortion, think the amount of abortions should be reduced, would love if it was eradicated, agree it’s heartbreaking and sad, BUT STILL say they think it should be legal because they wouldn’t take away another’s choice–shame on you all. You have the blood of innocents on your hands. You ease your conscience and absolve your guilt by loudly declaring it isn’t something you would do, while supporting those who do. Deep within you know just how wrong it is, but you cowardly refuse to take a stand for the most helpless of us all for fear of being “politically incorrect.”
To those who repeatedly chant their endless mantra about it being a woman’s choice because it’s her body–No one is discussing your body. We are talking about the body of an innocent baby who is completely separate from that of it’s mother. Just because the baby is IN your body does not mean it IS your body. When do they get a choice?
Fyi, being pro choice doesn’t mean that one is pro abortion. Being pro choice means more than just choosing abortion. I do not believe in killing babies or women. I am pro choice because because their is clear evidence that abortion happens regardless of the legality of the subject and making abortion illegal results in women dying, by the thousands.
Read the link that I posted from the World Health Organization I posted elsewhere.
I’m super confused how one can be Pro-Choice and not Pro-Abortion???
You are either for life or not for life??? right?
I explained in my comment and no, the world is as rarely that simple.
Summer – I took her response to mean that she (personally) is against abortion, but understands that not everyone is, and if we make abortion illegal, people will still have them, just not at a hospital or clinic, but in some dirty back alley or something, thus killing not only the unborn child, but also putting the mother’s life at risk, too (via inexperience doctors, dirty equipment, prone to infection, etc – think the chick that had the abortion in Dirty Dancing) . Knowing it will happen whether it’s legal or not, she’s choosing between losing one life (the baby’s) as opposed to possibly losing two (the baby’s and the mom’s).
And I apologize for the horrible run-on sentence I’ve got going on there! Wow, that was a doozy!
By this “logic,” perhaps, we should just legalize all murder. After all, even though it’s wrong and horrible and evil, it’s going to happen anyways. At least we could save the the lives of the murderers who might be put on death row if it remains illegal. Also, murderers could find much safer ways to kill other people without endangering their own lives if they are allowed to do it openly.
I’m not sure where you get “your logic”, but that isn’t an accurate representation of my my comments about pro choice or the the reasons that I am pro choice. But it’s a nice spin with a bit of drama for affect, yet falls quite short of anything resembling logic basked on my beliefs.
*based on my beliefs, not basked. lol.
I want to begin by saying I am not trying to be disrespectful to anyone. I know you can’t hear my tone or see my face while I am typing this so please know I am trying to engage in an adult conversation/debate about a subject.
I understand what you are saying, but drugs are illegal and people still take them. Should we legalize certain drugs because “people are going to do it anyway.” I am obviously Pro Life, but I’ve never been raped & I’ve never been a victim of incest. There is no way I can get inside the mind of someone who has. If pregnancy is the outcome I don’t think that abortion is the answer to the “problem/baby.” Often times, women are regretful, ashamed, and depressed after they have the procedure done.(no matter what their reason: not ready, rape, etc) In a perfect world, these things would never happen, but is taking an innocent life the answer? I don’t think so.
Thank you!! You stated it very well. I cannot, will not ever support abortion. Yes, I’ve worked with many impoverished women, unwanted children, sexual abuse, etc etc. My adopted children are such a blessing to my husband and I and our birth children. I am SO grateful that their mothers gave birth to them in spite of not wanting them.
“To those who repeatedly chant their endless mantra about it being a woman’s choice because it’s her body–No one is discussing your body. We are talking about the body of an innocent baby who is completely separate from that of it’s mother.”
Um, yes we absolutely ARE discussing the woman’s body, I had my first baby in September. She is the light of my life and I love her more than anything. She was planned for and dreamed of for years! Having said that, being pregnant and giving birth were two of THE hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I’d do it again in a heartbeat to get my girl, but you cannot say that, in discussing pregnancy, we are not talking about a woman’s body. And believe it or not, but there are a lot of abortions performed for women who want nothing more than to carry a baby to term and become a mother, but medically, they are unable. There are women who would die if they remained pregnant. There are women who would face very serious medical consequences by remaining pregnant. Are you suggesting that they shouldn’t be able to protect their health and undergo any and all necessary medical procedures?
You also cannot fairly say that the baby is “completely separate” from its mother. If that were the case, there would be no need for abortion as women could just have the fetus removed at any stage in pregnancy without it dying. A baby cannot grow outside of a woman’s body, so I’m sorry, but no, at that stage it is NOT “completely separate.”
A child IS a complete separate HUMAN BEING from it’s mother. Being inside her body does not make them her body, and being dependent upon one’s mother for survival does not justify the murder of the helpless. A newborn is also completely dependent on another human being for survival, as well as toddlers, etc. A child being completely dependent on you does not justify murder. Think about what you are saying!
And I don’t believe “a lot of abortions performed for women who want nothing more than to carry a baby to term and become a mother, but medically, they are unable,” and I doubt you really do either. If a woman’s life is in grave danger because of complications with her pregnancy, an emergency C-section is performed, not an abortion. What about the millions and millions of babies killed because they are an inconvenience? It sounds like you are trying to deflect from the real point here, which is that you don’t want women to lose their legal rights to kill their children at whim. Only that doesn’t sound quite as convincing does it?
To say that a baby isn’t separate from it’s mother because, if so, the child could be removed without dying goes to show how hard you are trying to bury your head in the sand and ignore what’s actually going on around you. Babies ARE murdered after the age when they would be considered viable. Of course, all babies no matter what gestation age they are born, are still entirely dependent upon others for their survival. Another person is still required to USE THEIR BODIES to get up and feed them, change them, care for them, etc. If your basis for legally justifying murder is dependency upon another person, then what is the difference in killing a newborn, or toddler?
And as far as having a choice to be able to do what you want with your body, by all means, do whatever you want to yourself just as long as you aren’t hurting another person in the process.
Wow. You made so many assumptions in that post that I’m not even sure why I am bothering to reply. I didn’t say anywhere in there what I believe or how I feel about abortion, just that I don’t think it’s fair to discuss pregnancy as something that has nothing to do with a woman’s body. And that I don’t think it’s quite accurate to say that fetuses/unborn babies are “completely separate” from their mothers. Yes, their bodies are separate; I wasn’t trying to say otherwise. But they are attached via an umbilical cord and cannot grow, thrive, live outside of a womb. Until of course they reach a viable gestational age. If they were “completely separate” then it wouldn’t matter what a woman did with HER body while she was pregnant, would it? After all, you can take care of a newborn and still eat sushi, drink alcohol, fall on your stomach, smoke tobacco, etc and it will have no physical impact on that baby (unless of course you are nursing). The same cannot be said for a pregnant woman, which is why I say it’s not fair to say they are completely separate entities prior to birth.
Please don’t tell me that I don’t believe that women have abortions when they don’t want them. I believe it because I KNOW it to be true. An emergency c-section is only an option when the baby is old enough to have a reasonable chance of survival outside of its mother’s body. C-sections are not performed on women who are 8 weeks pregnant, for example. And YES, there are absolutely women who receive abortions at 8 weeks for medical reasons when they do not want them!!! I am not burying my head in any sand, I just happen to know women who have been through this. And it’s awful. I would not suggest for half a second that this is in any way the majority of abortions cases, just that it happens, and I cannot personally imagine denying these women their right to medical care.
So, you get into a debate about abortion. Even though you don’t openly declare whether you are for abortion or against abortion, you make excuses FOR abortion and give reasons why you believe a “fetus” is not completely separate from a woman’s body, though you believe it is separate…just not completely separate. Then you comment about how many “assumptions” I made about your comment-to-my-comment, and you write that you have never said what you believe or how you feel about abortion. Sorry, about that. Why don’t you go ahead and actually state what you do believe if you don’t want anyone else trying to make any guesses about it. That way we don’t have to waste time debating about the word “completely” since we have both already agreed that mother and baby are separate human beings. Do you think it’s okay that millions of babies are killed every year by women who think of them as nothing more than an inconvenience? I wish you would answer this question, and this question alone, without adding any other scenarios that you think could possibly happen that would deflect from this point.
No, I don’t think it’s ok. Absolutely not. It’s sick. It’s disgusting.
ALL I was trying to do was explain why there is so much grey area in this debate. I wanted to point out that it IS often times about the woman’s body and that there are situations when an abortion is warranted.
I don’t believe a woman should have an abortion for convenience sake or as a method of birth control. But I also don’t believe they should be outlawed completely because there are situations when they are necessary to save a woman’s life. And while that is a tragedy in the worst degree, I maintain that the mother should be saved at all cost. That will result in some abortions. That’s heartbreaking.
So there you have it. My stance on abortion. I believe it should be legal when medically necessary (which apparently you don’t believe is an actual thing because they could just have a c-section). And you don’t have to put fetus in quotations marks. I didn’t say it to be offensive; it’s just a scientific term. Have a nice day.
Time to count your blessings and cut your spending. Millions of women survive and thrive after a divorce to become successful single parents. I dare say a great many of them have far less revenue than you McM. I seriously doubt you’ll let my post stand. In the course of my life I’ve worked with women transitioning who have started out with only the clothes on their backs. They did not have 5 figure incomes and many were physically damaged as a result of their marriages. Put one foot in front of the other and remember what happens on the internet stays on the internet. It never goes away. Think about what you are writing today, and whether you’d like your children to read about this drama in five years.
You don’t have to be a jerk about it. So because some women are physically abused this situation isn’t painful for Jennifer? She hasn’t said anything bad about Israel, all she’s said is he has left. You’ve “worked with women” but you don’t say you actually experienced it. So shut up. Just shut up.
Marie, yes, I did experience it. The clothes on my back and my 10 year old at my side, 18 years ago. Thats why I payed it forward by working with women in transition. The women I worked with were transitioning from a DV shelter to independent living. Many of these women didn’t have professions, online readers offering them money, or strong support networks. They didn’t have 5 figure incomes nor could they afford hundred dollar shoes. Some were elderly, some young with families.
Just because she did not experience abuse and just because she has an income does not mean she does not experience the pain, loneliness, fear and whatever other human emotions that come along with losing someone you love! You are not the only one in the world who is/was hurt!!
In this interview, NBC’s Andrea Mitchell speaks with SGK’s founder and president. According to this, SGK has NOT completed parted ways with PP.
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/02/10303379-andrea-mitchell-interviews-susan-g-komens-nancy-brinker
My best wishes to you and your family, Jennifer.
no need to fight and attack ladies-we all have the right to support or not support any organizations we choose. the arguing is pointless. differences in opinions shouldn’t pull people apart and show the very worst in oneself-
very true Lisa. I think we all need to step back and just think good thoughts for MckMama. I have to admit… I’m going to cower in a corner and say this.. I just MckMama wouldn’t have said anything about the whole debate. Cause let’s face it, I think she knew it would be a big ‘ol debate. But I’m guilty of doing that on my Facebook page so whatever. lol Thinking of you MckMama… xoxo
I was once told by a cancer survivor that Komen is all about the money. Could be that is what we are seeing now. Just keeping an open mind.
Hope you are feeling better each and every hour of the day. Hope you begin to put down roots soon that you and your children can grow to feel is “home” again.
Hope your doing better today, Mckmama
Been praying for you today and everyday. I cannot imagine what you are going through(and I pray that I never have to). Hold tight to your kiddos, and keep your eyes and your heart on Him.
jennifer,
this is straight from the mouth of komen ambassador nancy g brinker: “wherever possible we want to grant to the PROVIDER who is actually PROVIDING the lifesaving mammogram”.
thought i’d share. i totally agree with you!
i’m sure you got my email and text. know that i’m thinking of you and your family in this very difficult time. xoxo
I m someone on a different note then many others on here. Almost 24 years ago I met the man of my dreams. The one whom I thought I would be marrying the following summer and spending the rest of my life with. Bearing his children. Wait! or so I thought. He to walk away from me and our relationship without even leaving me a post it note or any reason or form for his actions. Yes, I had a great support system at the time to help me get through my beloved loss and hurting heart. Yet it has forever changed me as a person. I never did marry or had any children of my own. He did however ended up marrying someone else. They had a child together. Their marriage did a few years into it turn into a divorce. So at least I know that it was not just me who was the one to be the problem in our relationship. I still love him regardless, even tho I know deep down he made a very poor decision to walk away. I have learned my best to move on with my life without him being a part of being in it. I will pray for your husband as well as you and your children. Many hurting hearts here on both ends.
I find it incredibly ironic that pro-”choice” people are screaming about a “choice” a private charity made on how they spend their own funds. If you are for a woman’s right to chose than you should not object individuals and corporations right to chose how to spend their money. Plus, the $700K that PP will not getting from Komen is a drop in the bucket with respect to their operating budget. If PP did not break the law with respect to reporting potential child sex abuse cases and working to get around local parental notification laws, they would not be losing this funding.
Very well said.
Now see, I find your comment to be ironic since you complained in the past how the SGK charitable organization chose to fund other programs. Why is it okay for you to complain about how they spend their funds when you don’t agree with the direction, but not others when you agree with their direction?
BTW, it’s not well said because what she said wasn’t accurate, they aren’t a private charity, they are a public charitable organizations that depends on donations from others to support their programs.
Pro-choice isn’t about letting people choose choices without any feedback. Pro-choice is about letting people choose what happens to their body without the government interfering unreasonably. There’s a difference
In the day since SGK Foundation cut their funding, PP has had a significant increase in donations ($400,000 already), so anti-choice people had some unintended consequences – an increase in funds for PP.
I disagree with “pro choice” being about a women choosing about there own bodies. For their bodies are not the ones who end up in the garbage pails.
As far as an increase in donations, that is fine if someone wants to choose to support that. It is also fine for people or organizations that choose not to support it.
Whether you believe a woman’s right to choose what happens to her body is about babies ending up in garbage pails or not, the point is that people who do believe in a woman’s right to choose don’t believe in making that choice comment-proof. So the original thought that it was ironic that women who believe in a woman’s right to choose were getting angry about SGK Foundation’s right to choose the destination of its donations was missing the point.
I agree with that sentiment. No matter what side of the aisle you are on you should be able to support what you believe in without getting attacked about it.
How dare anyone tell my sister who was raped whether or not she can terminate her pregnancy.
If I give money to a charity I have a right to complain how they spend that money and/or choose to not contribute to that foundation, If I raise money for a charitable organization, I have a right to complain and/or not raise money. They depend on donations from the general public in order to give money to others.
They are not a private individual, a private company or even a private foundation, they are a charitable organization that depends on the general public for it’s funding, so it’s not really surprising that the general public has spoken.
They are a public charitable organization, not a private charity.
http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content/AboutUs/Financial/KOMEN%20PARENT%20PDC%20wout%20PW.pdf
Mckmama, After all these years of reading your blog I feel like I actually “know” you. My heart is still hurting for you and I am praying.
I just wanted to say that I woke in the night thinking of you and spent some more time praying for your situation. I have to believe that the Lord is working on a masterpiece and that you will have your family unit back. I’m so tired of commenters assuming that a divorce is imminent and some that think you are already in the process of a divorce. I personally haven’t seen you use that word at all. I guess I get really annoyed by “speculation”. Why can’t people just be supportive and patient…period. I have a candle lit in my kitchen and every time I see it I say a little prayer…for you, for Israel, for the MSC, your extended family and friends that are helping you through this… Be still and know…
it must be crazy to have so many unknowns right now but you have your 5 beautiful, healthy children and your faith in God – that will help you immensely. wishing you the best of everything as you plan the roadmap to this next stage in your life. your readers are here for you, we are glad you are sharing with us so we can help support you (even though you don’t know most of us!)
The people at Komen are not self-righteous, conservative, pro-lifers making choices based on a moral dilemma. They are business people who wanted to stay funded and therefore made a decision that was in their best interests. Let”s not kid ourselves into thinking that Komen ‘did the right thing’ because of their feelings. They did what they needed to do from a political and financial aspect.
It’s just a shame that poor women, without access to resources to locate other means, are now going to have fewer opportunities to take care of themselves because of political pressure.
If anything, Komen has lost further donations from me. They won’t need the money. I’d rather give to local organizations, or even PP, who truly help the under-served.
Could not agree more. Very well said. Shame on those who don’t get all the correct information before posting it.
Agree with you 100%. SGK didn’t make this decision based on their morals. PP isn’t ONLY about abortions. They provide care for THOUSANDS of low-income women that wouldn’t get pap smears, physicals, birth control, etc.. I’m glad PP has gotten an increase in private donations so they can continue to be there for the women that need them.
NOW that was well said and I agree.
just goes to show you.. politics and religion will never be separate like they should be. Susan G Komen will never get a penny from my pocket again. It’s such a shame.
MARSHILL.COM
- Not sure if you have heard of Pastor Mark Driscoll. He is amazing.
He is currently doing a series on Marriage. If there is any way to get your hubby to check it out, I think it could be of help. Also something you can check out too.
Still Praying for you all!
Okay, I’m going to just say it, since it appears I’ve been banned for respectfully disagreeing and pointing out some inconsistancies. Based on the comments that I’ve posted that you have chosen not to allow through moderation, I now think that your big stance and “standing up for what you believe in” against Komen is nothing more than a method of getting attention – as it is such a hot topic right now. Is this all about the clicks for you? If so, that’s VERY disappointing.
I want to root for your family…I really do. You have 5 adorable children that don’t deserve to live in such a chaotic environment. But, you seem to be more about getting attention and praise via the internet than anything else. I think that the person that pointed out that your post just didn’t set right (discussing your heartbreak about your marriage while also promoting a sale and discussing the Komen issue) was spot on…it all seems VERY insincere right now.
You haven’t been banned, deleted, blocked or anything.
My apologies for thinking I was banned. I’m wondering why my comments mentioning the fact that last time you discussed Komen’s support of Planned Parenthood many people mentioned other organizations that you support that also support Planned Parenthood (Adobe – lightroom included, YMCA, Ebay – including PayPal) weren’t allowed to go through? Perhaps it was an oversight. I mentioned it one time on my own and one time in response to someone that said that they were sure you wouldn’t support such organizations either if you knew about their support of Planned Parenthood. If so, would you consider providing our views on how it’s okay to support those organizations considering your strong opinions against Planned Parenthood???
For a mother of two who has personally gone through this (my divorce will be final soon) I feel and pray for you, your husband, and your children. This will be one of the hardest things that you will ever go through.
Know that God does have a plan for all of you. Walk with grace, show grace when at times it is not deserved. This was the best advice I got when my husband left me with a 7 month and a 2 1/2 year old.
And to Charity, by your comments about mckmama, I don’t believe you have ever experienced this situation. Speaking from personal experience, even though it might seem like the things that she is blogging about are superficial and mundane, to Jennifer, they are a form of normality in a time of pain and chaos. I remember holding on tightly to anything that resembled normal back in those days because I desperately needed that or I thought I would fall apart.
I live a new normal now, it took many sleepless nights and much prayer to move forward. And like death, we all cope and deal in different ways. And as my grandmother always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Just wanted to let you know that I follow your blog, comment here & there.
I’ve been thru this once, thankfully w/o children.
My new husband & I have one child together & he brought 2 to the marriage.
I love them all the same.
We definitely have our low points, like now.
I asked him to leave a few weeks ago.
He refused.
I hope this works out for you.
Please know if I was closer you could cry on my shoulder or whatever you needed.
I want to cry for you.
It’s hard for sure.
You are a great person, Jennifer, don’t let anyone tell you any different!
((((HUGS))))
Jennifer, I wish that you would stay here in Hawaii with us for a few weeks. I have older daughters who would help us all enjoy the beach without any little ones wandering too far. We homeschool so we could enjoy some field trips together. You would enjoy our church and we could go running up Diamond Head! Doesn’t this sound like a wonderful idea? And I have always wanted to meet you. Just in case you need a mid-winter break …
Tracie
As a long time follower of your blog, I’m so sorry to read about your personal struggles that you’re living through right now. I hope you find peace in the days ahead, as you adjust to the new “normal” with your sweet kiddos, and that God holds you in the palm of His hand as you deal with all of this. Thankful to read you have such a strong support system of family & friends! Will you be able to take your sweet house pets with you, wherever you go? God Bless, MckMama!! He is in control, even when it sure doesn’t feel like it!!
Jennifer, you said down below regarding PP: “. And abortions are without a doubt what they most “want” to perform.”
Come on! That’s a ridiculous, ignorant and inaccurate statement. How many PP’s offices have you visited? You have 5 kids. If you weren’t able to get prenatal care for those precious beings, PP would have made sure you got it by either doing it themselves or referring you to a place to receive it.
That wasn’t my stance. As I said, it was the inside information from the former director with PP.
Through research of my own, I find Abby Johnson’s words to be very dramatic and very questionable. Have you done any research on her credibility?
She also wasn’t “the” director of PP, she was “a” director in a branch.
Oh man, did I say she was the director of PP? I didn’t mean to, if so. I knew she was a local director. So you are saying you don’t believe her claims? If we are just talking about being dramatic and questionable, I find the idea that a doctor would enter a woman’s womb and kill her child for her very dramatic and questionable, personally.
As I said in my research, her story keeps coming up as questionable. Dramatic yes, but very questionable.
You don’t find it questionable that an office manager type person without any medical training was called into an exam room to help with a medical procedure? I found that to be suspect without any research, I would think that basic logic would call that into question for anyone reading that passage. That lead me to further research on the the author and I haven’t found anything to prove her “story” to be true. Just more questions. I don’t doubt her passion and her change of heart, but I do very much doubt her story, I think anyone reading the first chapter would automatically think it questionable honestly.
But that didn’t answer my question, have you done any research on her credibility? We aren’t just talking about drama and questionable, I was talking about credibility of the source. I don’t question your passion, as I don’t question the passion of anyone on a subject, I respect passion. But in discussions I do question credibility of a source.
praying for you and your family as you are going thru this stage in life. I hope you dont mind me asking….but I have been thinking about the children alot and wondering how they are doing with all the new changes?
Still praying jennifer, for ALL of you. Know you are loved and God will get you through this.
Hi there! I am just checking in on you. Usually I just read and move on but today (even though I am just one of many and not a “specific” person in your life) I would like for you to know I feel a comradarie with you. Not because of any thing you are going through because I don’t know about how I would deal with those specific life situations. We all have something in common though. We desperately need to know we are not alone. You aren’t. Usually I don’t write only because you have so many that will not only comment, they come to the picnics, sign up for the cruise, feel enough self esteem to seek you out in a public place and be counted as a blogger friend. Some of us (I guess there are others like me) just like to marvel at the way you communicate through the written word and your life intrigues me! Then, of course…wouldn’t I want to be friends with you? YES MA’AM (I’m from the south!) Well, the question is would you want to be friends with me? Sounds silly I know but yes I believe you would… why now? because life has thrown you so many curves I actually believe I can relate to you better. I would rather you didn’t go through this and I could just imagine life in the fast lane with all your happenings and I would be an invisible spectator. I would be looking in on your life like so many others do and go on about my business. Maybe, just maybe, I can mention to you today that our heartstrings are tethered together on some level and I care about you. You. Your kids. Your husband. Even your sadness over relocating your goats!
I checked in today with the initial thought that all these people with less than stellar comments have the time and inclination to come back for more? More what? Opportunity to criticize? To have their say? Go get their own blog, I say, and see if anyone reads it. Leave our friend alone. I realize everyone has an opinion and is entitled to it but good grief. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. When all is said and done, what are we if not in this race together? If you are feeling down today, you and I both know you WILL rise above this. It may include this one or that one but God alone will give the increase. I am personally looking forward to the story of redemption that is already being woven into you.
Standing with you Jennifer. Be strong and courageous. The Lord thy God is with you. I am sure those are familiar words but I am thinking there is a reason we get to know them. Someone else needed to be reminded and it is preserved for all of us who seek and need the promise. Heartfelt love to you!
I wish I could “like” this comment. I know you see your blog numbers, so you have to know that there are so many of us out here that support you, even though we don’t usually comment. I absolutely wish you and your family the best.
me too StACY–WAS JUST THINKING the blog comments need a like or dislike button!!
i agree!! i would def. ” like” this
im dyyyying to know….what is mckdaddy saying/doing/thinking/complaining about all this? what is his perspective? I just can’t imagine under any circumstances how he thinks this is going to make his life easier. I know it’s none of my business, but holy cow I’m perplexed!!
I would like to know that too, but I’m not sure it’s our business! I just remember him saying how he CHOSE to not let divorce be part of their vocabulary. And though that word has not been spoken yet I just can’t see either how he thinks this is going tohelp. Praying hard for him!
hang in there and remember that “It’s always darkest before the dawn”. best wishes for you and yours
Just wanted to comment on the Susan G. Komen comment you made in your blog. Did you know that by Susan G. Komen taking Planned Parenthood off their contributers that now Planned Parenthood can’t give breast health screenings? That means that women who are in the low income bracket and without insurance can no longer get checked for breast cancer. There is something so wrong with that. My mother had breast cancer, and eventually died from cancer. I could not imagine not being able to get checked. So instead of applauding Susan G. Komen, maybe do some research as to what exactly cutting ties with Planned Parenthood means.
I have done lots of research. If you’re interested, you can read the other comments I have left on this post.
I support Mckmama in breaking ties while SGK was linked to PP…From a Pro Life perspective, Paige I cannot see how helping a women get a breast cancer screen justifies supporting abortion. And why does not having SGK support prevent them from checking for breast cancer… researched this and still can’t figure that out…maybe instead of supporting abortions they can put that money into paying for the screenings.
There also many, many cities that have free screening times in their hospitals…I have lived in 22 different cities across the US and have seen this in every city. These are all paid for by local hospitals and/ or SGK organization. Even in the smallest town we lived in, in rural KY, population 3200, highest unemployment rate in the state, there was a mobile clinic that came around. If you ask at hospitals, call WHO, or CDC, you can get references and information.
Will you please tell me where you found proof that women that will be losing Planned Parenthood’s breast screening services will have other options? Are there other places in every city where PP provided breast screenings that women can receive them from another organization? Keep in mind, most low income women can’t travel for hours to another location that isn’t Planned Parenthood supported. I’m not writing this to be snarky, it’s something I’m generally interested in finding out – as I’ve been researching it myself and haven’t located such information.
Also, while I disagree with your stance against the Komen/Planned Parenthood thing, I have to say that your enthusiasm about the subject is impressive. If you are so against Planned Parenthood, might I point out that many other organizations also support them…some of which you regularly use or promote yourself. Are you willing to put up such a stand against them, even though they may benefit you? Some examples: Adobe, Ebay (which includes PayPal), Southwest Airlines and their affiliates, Starwood Hotels, Whole Foods, Ronald McDonald House Charities, YMCA. Do you see how your conviction against Komen for their support of Planned Parenthood doesn’t exactly reconcile with your support of other businesses?
I am willing to boycott or stand against those businesses. I am pretty sure MckMama is too…For many the only reason they continue to support these organizations is a lack of knowledge.
That’s interesting, because I believe that it was pointed out to her last time that she spoke out against Komen, but she still uses PayPal to accept payment for photography services, she regularly raves about Adobe Lightroom (I even think it’s been one of her McDeals before), and was very recently a HUGE supporter of the YMCA.
May I ask what you mean by very recently I was “a HUGE supporter of the YMCA”? Thanks.
Even if every PP were to shut down (which they won’t) women would still have access to healthcare.
http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/Search_HCC.aspx
There are other options. Obviously I cannot find out for sure that there are other places in every city as you asked, but I do know that in my state, there are only 9 PP clinics, yet there are 171 other health clinics that are funded by the government and provide free or a very minimal cost care.
PP still has money coming from other sources and doesn’t have to shut their doors.They are still doing well and I don’t quite get this uproar over one charity deciding to no longer fund them.
I disagree about the Komen thing, but I am very sorry for the turbulence your family is going through right now. I hope your relatives hold you and the kids close so you can feel their love physically. That contact can be crucial during times like this. And I hope your husband finds whatever inner peace he is seeking, and that it leads him back to you.
I hope each new day brings with it peace and happiness. Once again I am sorry you have to go through all this. How come you were the one who had to move out? What about the dog and cats?
I feel bad for you. Really bad. Divorce is a terrible thing. I’m praying for all of you. I hope everything works out for you.
I don’t have to say this about the post..the comment about not being able to justify buying shoes for your son and not having a bed came across, to me, as “please help us buy these shoes and get a new bed”. Don’t use people’s sympathy for you right now for free stuff. Especially after you just proclaimed that you realize you’re kids love is all you need. I apologize if I misunderstood your statement.
Best of luck to your family.
I think all she was doing was thinking “out loud” and stating facts not asking for anything
That very well could have been and I read too much into it. I apologize. For that and my grammatical errors. Darn phone.
And if she had said she was going to buy them, then someone would have said “Are you sure you can afford them, right now?”. She obviously said it as a lead to promote the deal, not to beg for handouts. That’s how I understood it anyway.
I agree Ruby…and Allison!
Seems like you might be speaking out of turn. This is her blog with her thoughts. She is allowed to express them in any way she wants on HER blog. I just don’t understand why people would come her and either disagree with her stance on the SBK (I agree with you Jennifer) or wonder if she is out for a handout. Unbelievable.
So it is wrong of me to give my thoughts or opinions on what she said but it’s ok for you to give your thoughts on what I have to say?
I think that there are so many people intent to break Jennifer down that when any constructive criticism is posted, everyone assumes the worse. Be supportive of one another! We’re all women on the same team, build each other up!
I agree. My intent was not to take her down. I was just stating how it sounded to me. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I know that people throw her under the for every move she makes.
Agree ^^^
Agree ^^ I did not take the comment that way–just her rambling thoughts–she4 ne4e4ds to be able to do this w/o criticism
and neither did you, Cristy.
Sending prayers your way! I am so sorry to hear this news. I have been absent for a while. I too am going through a separation. Even as I type this, the tears flow. We have been married 10 years, I have 3 adult children and he has 2 teenagers. We have 4 grandchildren. My husband is a Pastoral Counselor (ordained) and a Marriage and Family Therapist. Still, he chose to leave. I am so very very lonely. If not for work everyday I don’t know how I would function. I will keep all of you (including your husband) in my prayers every night. God Bless you all.
I used to support Komen fund, my dollars and other support will now be moved to Planned Parenthood instead. From what I’m reading, I’m not alone.
I dropped support of SGK when I learned of the Planned Parenthood connection. I now will support them again. Until PP stops murdering unborn babies, they will not get a dime from me.
Agree with you Kathe and glad I am not alone.
I’m sorry that you feel that way about a great organization that has helped women for almost 100 years.
Thought I’d share my favorite quote with you, I’m sure you understand it fully but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded from time to time, take care.
Be the change you want to see in the world. … Mahatma Gandhi
As a long time reader of your blog I knew that our opinions on social/political issues were not the same. I appreciate that this is your blog. But I would like you to consider that by eliminating funding for cancer screenings at Planned Parenthood women’s lives are at an increased risk. You can say there are other places women can access these services but I don’t buy it. No matter how you paint the picture there is decreased access to screenings. Merely placing the burden of a few miles or potentially hundreds of miles,in extremely under served areas, may prevent women from seeking screenings. Decreasing access to impoverished women is not the answer.
Impoverished women in our country do have amazing access to thousands upon thousands of Federally Qualified Health Clinics where they can get cancer screenings. No doubt, supporters of Planned Parenthood would like to make everyone think if women can’t get mammograms at their clinics, the women will have no other options. That is just so not true on so many levels. Most Planned Parenthood clinics don’t even offer mammograms at all, did you know that?
Just over 1100 fqhc’s does not equal “thousands upon thousands”.
There are almost 7000 of them.
http://www.statehealthfacts.org/comparemaptable.jsp?cat=8&ind=424
Yup, Lindsay’s link says over 1100…where are you getting your number of “over 7000″?
FQHCs are a great resource for those that qualify for them. But, there are a TON of people that don’t. They are the working poor – those that can’t afford insurance but make too much for government assistance…and often times, they DO qualify for Planned Parenthood services (or their sliding scale fee).
Clearly, your mind isn’t going to be changed…and that’s okay. We are all free to our own beliefs and opinions. But, it’s important for you and your readers to know that there are plenty of people out there that are affected by this situation and don’t have other choices for their care. I would hope that someone without insurance themselves would understand that.
I actually did know that. It is extreme to me. I live in a metro area of 100k. There is 1 PP clinic and 1 FQHC. The wait list for the FQHC is obscene to say the least. It is a burden for women. It is cutting access, fewer clinics to be seen is just that. If I were in a position where I needed a cancer screening and I had to wait I would be beside myself. It is an unnecessary burden. While on the subject of PP, did you know that many affiliates (i dont have a number) don’t even provide abortion services? Not just the clinic but their entire affiliate. And because they share a name; one that is trusted in women’s reproductive care, they are penalized. Not trying to sound snarky and I hope it doesn’t come off that way. I respect you as a mother and a blogger. I am attracted to your blog because of your darling kids and your willingness to be open about your life especially during adversity. I feel I can relate to you on some level.
There are other places…and most women are not going to PP for breast cancer screening…they are there to get birth control or abortion services…My neighbors are directors for the Center for Bio-ethical Reform…the numbers show that Abortions are the number one service that Planned Parenthood provides. Rather than continuing to support this, we should be putting our energies into creating a service that provides these screenings for free…in excess to the 7000 fqhcs….
Actually the bulk of their work was in the diagnosis and treatment of STD’s and contraception which made up over 60% of their services while abortion was only 3%. Your neighbors are giving you misleading information.
I agree with Allison. I think you are mistaken about the numbers, as official annual reports show that only around 3% of PP funds go to abortion services. If you have some other reports or numbers that show otherwise, I would certainly understand your view, but if you are basing this on your neighbor, I would hope you would do a bit more research on the topic before making a statement like this. It is so important that we all do our own research before we start slamming organizations or pulling our funds based on what some strangers are claiming on the internet.
The 3% is a very misleading, untrue statistic. Do some research about what that truly means. I did and it was very eye opening.
Then by all means, please share your research.
There are good sides and bad sides to many issues we support. If someone could cure breast cancer completely by killing newborns, would you support them? As horrible as breast cancer is, not everyone can say a woman’s life is more important than a child’s.
Therein lies the problem with the current Pro-Life mentality. We’ll defend the unborn with all of our might, but once they are born, we don’t give a damn about them. Our country will be a better place when we realize that Pro-Life extends beyond the womb.
I think many people do realize that already.
Then people, even adult women, need to be taken care of. If people fought as hard for the living as they do the unborn, then there would be no back-patting and celebration when an organization that offers health care to the poor loses funding.
By the way, before the minions attack, I am very much Pro-Life, but in every sense. I am VERY anti-war, anti-capital punishment, anti-abortion, and anti-cutting funding for those who need it. A dear friend calls it caring for the least, the last, and the lost.
@clfaught That is what we all should be doing…”caring for the least, the last, and the lost.” That’s what God calls us to do.
There was an article today that stated that Planned Parenthood does not do breast screenings, cannot do them, and don’t even own mammogram machines. Not at a single location. Here’s the link to the article:
http://www.lifenews.com/2011/04/18/komen-admits-planned-parenthood-grants-dont-get-women-mammograms/
Just a little insight. I’m not here to start fights. I NEVER comment on here, but I feel like SGK did the right thing. When the people you are granting money to aren’t using the funds in the way they specified they would, then why continue?
Jennifer, will be praying for your family (all of it) in the next coming days and weeks.
The link wouldn’t work for me.
the link worked fine for me!
I’m sorry for what you are going thru. I know first hand how awful it feels. One thing that someone said to me that was kind of, in the words of Oprah, an “aha moment” was that my husband didn’t leave our family. He didn’t leave our kids. He left ME. It is very important, for the kids sake that you remember that. Young kids are like sponges and they take in every single thing you say and they don’t forget. If you want to preserve the relationship they have with their dad then choose your words very carefully. Vent about him to your friends, vent about him to your family, hell vent about him on your blog, but don’t vent to the kids. If you can’t say positive things about him to them right now, then just don’t speak of him.
(I’m not insinuting that you are bashing him in front of the kids, I’m just conveying some advice that was given to me. Trust me, there are times even now that it is hard to not say what is really going on in my mind).
Good luck to all of you. Remember, everything happens for a reason.
Prayers, Prayers and more Prayers!!!
I feel for you. I went through the same thing 7 years ago. I was 6 months pregnant with an almost 4 year old. He wasn’t even there for the birth of his son. He moved to another state and has only seen them 3 times. I will never understand what they’re thinking by leaving their kids. It is hard in the beginning but definitely gets easier. Sounds like you have a great family and lots of friends for support and that helps tremendously. You are all in my prayers.
Wow- your belly must’ve been HUGE with an almost 4 year old in there!
Oh…I so know what your going through. It is hard…I wish I was close enough to give you a hug. Having reassurance that you have a shoulder to cry on always made me feel as though I could go on, even when I felt as though I couldn’t……so, here’s an over the “blog” hug…mmmmmmmmmmm
Thank you for continuing to blog so that we can be a part of your journey. Wishing there was some way that we could be there to help in real life. You’re doing great doing the best you can and I’m sure that God is proud of you, Jennifer. Your kids will be proud too when they’re old enough to understand how strong you are.
i am sure you’re boycotting all the folks below who support Planned Parenthood. I do believe you use paypal. Better stop, I guess!!!!!! We can’t have all those folks without money getting cancer screenings , can we!!
Corporations appearing on The Boycott List for the first time are Allstate (insurance), CCA Global (Carpet One, Flooring America, Flooring Canada, Flooring One, Lighting One, etc.), Chevron (fuel/energy; Xpress Lube, Texaco), Comcast (cable television, Internet, etc.), DuPont (chemicals), eBay (online marketplace; PayPal), Four Seasons Hotels (Regent Hotels), GlaxoSmithKline (over-the-counter medication, prescription drugs, etc.), Marriott (Courtyard Hotels, Fairfield Inn, Grand Residences, Horizons Hotels, JW Marriott Hotels, Renaissance Hotels & Inns, Ritz-Carlton Hotels, SpringHill Suites, TownePlace Suites), OSI Restaurant Partners (Outback Steakhouse, etc.), Sears (Kmart), Sonic (drive-in restaurants), and Wawa (convenience stores), among others. Corporations continuing as boycott targets from the previously released Boycott List are Basics Office Products, Adobe (software), Wachovia (finance), Nike (shoes/apparel, etc.), Time Warner (Cinemax, HBO, AOL, etc.), Bank of America, CIGNA (insurance), Walt Disney, Johnson & Johnson, Lost Arrow (Patagonia, etc.), Wells Fargo, Whole Foods Market, and Nationwide (insurance), among others.
The new Boycott List includes a revised and significantly expanded “Dishonorable Mention” section, which identifies charitable organizations that are associated with Planned Parenthood and/or its agenda. Among the groups new to this section is the Audubon Society, Alzheimer’s Association, American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), American Diabetes Association, Council of Churches (including Church World Service, and CROP Hunger Walks), Glaucoma Research Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA), National Education Association (NEA), National Multiple Sclerosis Society, Save the Children, and the Sierra Club, among others.
Hopefully all these organizations will come to their senses someday, too!
I agree!!!
Does that mean you will no longer be using Pay Pal, Adobe, or visiting the YMCA? Will you speak out against them and other supporters of Planned Parenthood just as you did against Komen???
I simply cannot wait for the day when so few organizations and businesses will be funding abortions that boycotting the remaining ones will be a cinch!
What about hospitals and obgyns? Are you going to start boycotting hospitals and obgyns in general?
SGK did not fund abortions. They funded breast cancer screenings. This move (de-funding PP) has generated a lot of negative publicity for them and damages their very worthwhile mission.
Just because they disagree does not mean that they are not valid in their argument and I don’t think it is right to post that hopefully they will “come to their senses.” A close friend, a mother of two and adoptive mother of one, was raped and made the painful choice to have an abortion once she found out that either her or the baby would survive. Keeping the baby would have killed her, leaving three children motherless. The decision was incredibly painful, and still is to this day, but she had to do what was best for the three children that depended on her.
Each person is fighting their own battle, and statements such as this only make their fight that much harder. Although you may not agree, consider being more sensitive to these women who need prayer, love and support more than anyone.
Petunia,
I couldn’t agree with you more. I wouldn’t have an abortion, nor would I ever encourage anyone to, but it isn’t my place to judge them either.
This is where abortion is hard for me. I still CANNOT bring myself to say I’m Pro Choice, but I am not judging the women that have abortions for reasons such as the above. Honestly, I’m TRYING not to judge any of them. I don’t think it’s right in any circumstance, BUT God is the ultimate judge. He said it himself that sin is sin. There are no “big sins” and “little sins.” They are all equal in his eyes.
I am a reader of your blog on and off for over a year. I NEVER comment on anything. Today I wanted to say I think you are a strong, amazing woman. I don’t know the details of your situation but want you to know I admire the way you speak of your husband, even while going through a hard time. Thank you for your example of faith, motherhood, and optomism. I know god has a plan for you and your sweet children. We often times need to feel very low to experience the greatest joy. Hold on better days are to come.
My heart breaks for you and your family. I am praying for you guys and hope that everyone finds comfort to adjust and bring on whatever may be ahead of you!
I have had those long nights of greiving … they ae so hard and almost unbearable. I have found that singing helps. When I was little my Mom told me you can’t sing and cry at the same time (give it a try). Praying that today will be easier than yesterday. When will the big move occur?
Komen funded Planned Parenthood’s low cost mammograms and cancer screenings to poor women. Those women’s lives are now at risk due to Komen’s politically driven “pro-life” agenda. Surely you must have known that! The women who benefited from that particular Planned Parenthood service will now be out of luck. But apparently you are just fine with that. Komen made an incredibly cowardly decision that will endanger lives of poor women of all ages. If that’s pro-life then I am a goat.
They won’t be out of luck. They will have other options. And now, thankfully, so will many babies.
Will you please tell me where you found proof that women that will be losing Planned Parenthood’s breast screening services will have other options? Are there other places in every city where PP provided breast screenings that women can receive them from another organization? Keep in mind, most low income women can’t travel for hours to another location that isn’t Planned Parenthood supported. I’m not writing this to be snarky, it’s something I’m generally interested in finding out – as I’ve been researching it myself and haven’t located such information.
There are over 7000 Federally Qualified Health Clinics in the United States the provide health services (but not abortions) to people who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford them.
I don’t believe this is going to stop anyone from getting an abortion. At all. But sadly it WILL affect many for other health care needs. Like me. I have no health insurance and do you PP’s services. If for any reason I felt like I needed a mammogram or cancer screening (which probably will happen in my life, cancer runs in my family) PP is the first place that I would go for help, and actually is the only option for people who can not afford tradition health care in our area. I really really don’t understand how people who are pro-LIFE, are okay with cutting this funding. Does ‘pro-life’ mean ‘anti-abortion and willing to risk the lives of many women to make that point– even though funding for abortions comes from other places and won’t stop because of this’?
Great response Mckmama!! I agree 100%!
where? Where are the options for my clients? There aren’t any where I work.
Stand strong Jennifer. We all know the clear agenda of Planned Parenthood. Just ask Abby Johnson
Amen , MckMama!!!
I’m confused. How will more babies have life because SGK stopped funding mammograms? They don’t have anything to do with each other.
The money was not used to “fund mammograms.” Did you know that Planned Parenthood clinics don’t even offer mammograms in most cases? Wow.
What are those options?
There are thousands and thousands of Federally Qualified Heath Centers in our country specifically set up to provide all sorts of health care for free or for a low cost. You can get checkups, cancer screenings and even birth control. These numerous FQHC’s provide every single service Planned Parenthood does, and then some, except abortions.
Interesting since my parents have had no insurance for years until they recently turned 65… both of them have high blood pressure and my dad has diabetes and they have had NO options. There simply is nothing. I would love to know where these thousands of low cost and free medical clinics are because we researched and researched and there was literally nothing to help them.
Just because you have your kids on welfare insurance doesn’t mean that is an option for everyone. You are being ridiculous talking about things that you have NO clue about.
The topic isn’t general health care, it’s cancer screenings. This link:
https://www.cms.gov/mlnproducts/downloads/fqhcfactsheet.pdf
specifically states what is covered and not covered. The technical component of this is not covered:
Federally Qualified Health Center Preventive
Primary Services That Are Not Covered
The technical component of the following preventive
services:
? Screening pap smears;
? Prostate cancer screening;
? Colorectal cancer screening tests;
? Screening mammography; and
? Bone mass measurements;
Maybe I’m missing something, can you provide a link that supports your claim?
But do Planned Parenthood clinics currently provide mammograms either?
You didn’t answer my question, but responded with one of your own.
Can you or can you not provide a link that supports your claims?
Babies do not get mammograms, sgk didnt fund abortions.
And while I’m sure incorrectly implying sgk stopped funding due to a pro life agenda makes you feel incredibly self righteous, it’s incorrect. Educate yourself before opening your mouth.
Most of the products you hustle on your blog and use to make a living contribute directly to the pp pro choice stance then sgk did.
What options are those? Planned Parenthood was the only place I could afford to go for many years, to get life-saving cancer screenings.
You got cancer screenings at a Planned Parenthood? Interesting, do you mind if I ask which one? There are lots of other options for folks to get access to free or very affordable cancer screenings.
As an out of work-fresh out of college, no insurance young woman I received FREE breast exams, pap smears, and other cancer screenings annually from the Planned Parenthood in Dubuque, IA. Once they even found an abnormality that turned out to be nothing, but I wouldn’t have been able to afford testing otherwise. I am VERY thankful that their services were available to me.
I did, planned parenthood was my only option in my early 20′s when I was out on my own without health insurance.
NOT SAYING THAT I AGREE OR DISAGREE….HOWEVER THE “CANCER SCREENING” IN WHICH THEY OFFERED FOR FREE FOR ONE WOULD BE A PAP SMEAR. AS IT TEST FOR CERVICAL CANCER. THEY DO NOT HOWEVER PREFORM MAMOGRAMMS THEMSELVES AS YOU (THE PATIENT) ARE REFERRED OUT TO A SEPERATE FACILITY FOR THAT. NO I DO NOT WORK FOR PPH, HOWEVER I AM A NURSE FOR AN OBGYN AND HAVE BEEN FOR 11 YEARS.
PATIENTS CAN ALSO APPLY FOR WOMENS HEALTH MEDICAID AND IT WILL COVER …. ONCE A YEAR ROUTINE PAP SMEAR, MAMMOGRAM, AND BIRTHCONTROL PILLS.
My annual pap smears, which are certainly cancer screenings. PP was half the cost of my on-campus doctor, plus I was able to get free birth control from PP to handle debilitating- yes, debilitating as in running a fever and vomiting and having to take two days off a month to check out of life and live in my bed- periods due to endometriosis.
And despite your assertions to the contrary- no, there were NOT “lots of other options for me.” Trust me, I researched them as a college student who received no financial help from parents and had to work full time while going to school full time. PP was it for me, and when I had a suspected uterine cyst they were the only place that I could afford to go to- seriously about half the cost of other places.
Also, the fact that you didn’t immediately associate cancer screenings with pap smears kind of surprises me, considering the overwhelming majority of the services PP offers are preventative women’s health services, *LIKE PAP SMEARS AND MAMMOGRAMS*, which are clearly cancer screening procedures. They are also often the only place where low-income women can get care during their pregnancy, ensuring healthy babies and moms. They often link to lactation specialists and parenting classes, too.
When my cousin found herself pregnant we called every single one of those “religious” hotlines for young, married, pregnant girls. Guess what? All they sad was “don’t get an abortion”. Not one offered help, or free health care, or referrals. She went to a Planned Parenthood and the nurse told her “you can do this, honey, I raised my baby on my own, if you need help, we can find you help.” And we left that office after paying for a dirt cheap pregnancy test (to confirm her at home test) and pages and pages of information about WIC and Medicaid, and a card for a local social worker to help out. Compared to the popular “1-800-BABY-DUE” non-profit, which just said “Abortions are bad” then end, PP was a huge help to my cousin.
I can appreciate that people find PP abhorrent because of the 3% of their business that is abortions, but to just flippantly say “Oh, they have other options!” when a lot of times THEY DON’T is infuriating to me.
They do, though.
Cortney – You said “on campus” so I’m assuming college? Unless you went to a private college/university , there are no charges to see the school’s Dr. / CNP . They treat you for “free” it’s included in the cost of tuition. Also there are no pages and pages for WIC ( I use WIC) and as for Medicaid there are forms to fill out , anywhere you go there are forms to fill out, it’s called liability! And , there ARE LOT of options! !
* LOTS
I’m not sure what college you went to but the public university I went to in TX charged to use the on campus health center. And charged additional fees for lab work which is required to do a pap
Agree with this statement 100%. Planned Parenthood isn’t the only option for these women. Thank goodness.
Can you explain to me how SGK pulling funds from PP will save lives of babies? SGK funded mammograms. None of their funds went toward abortions. How does not having their money change anything on the abortion front? PP has actually released a statement saying donations are pouring in like crazy in support of them after SGK made their announcement. What happens if these donations do not all specifically state the money shall not be used for abortions? Is PP now getting even more funds that can be allocated for abortions?
Never mind no need to reply. I see you have answered this already to another commenter. I apologize – I hadn’t seen that before I posted. I guess we will have to agree to disagree. Several years back I was going through some things and went to PP. They most certainly didn’t encourage me to get an abortion…they actually gave me tons of support and encouragement to keep the baby, which I did. I will say it really bothers me to see you say they push for abortions because that is where they make their money. Have you ever gone to PP and asked for an abortion? How do you know what they would encourage or discourage?
I’m a supporter of your position on this, Mckmama! You are a blessing and I am praying for you.
I have never posted on a blog before so if I’m doing something wrong please forgive me. I know not what I do. I just felt the need to send you a note. I’ve read your blog for a couple of years and have enjoyed it much. I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through right now. I know exactly how you are feeling! My husband left me and our four children last year, January 30. It’s been difficult. Very difficult but God has provided a wonderful support system of family and friends who have helped me through this year. I also start seeing a biblical counselor last year. I saw him almost every week and his guidance, support, love, etc. has been a tremendous help to me. He’s a nouthetical counselor, meaning he uses only the Bible to answer life’s questions. He’s part of the National Association of Nouthetical Counselors – NANC. The counselor I see does not charge for his services. He works like a missionary whereby he raises his support for himself and then is able to provide his services for free. Just wanted to let you know in case you might need someone to talk to. To help guide you through this season of your life. If you search for NANC, on their website will be a search you can use to look for a counselor in your area.
If you ever need anyone to talk to, please email me. I know you through your blog, but you don’t know me.So I know that that seems like a strange thing to tell you. But we do have two things in common though. We are both Christians. And we are both in the same situation. I want to offer a book to you to read that I have read and am rereading. It’s called Trusting God, Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges. Its’ about God’s Sovereignty in all things. It has helped me greatly in my life and I thought it might be a help to you. I am thinking of you and your family everyday.
Susan
What you are feeling is normal……….the attack on your marriage and the seemingly “breakup” (though with God on your side we know that’s not true)……….I know when my family & marriage were under attack in the early days of the spiritual battle I described it as being: “horrifically surreal”. It destroyed me. You seem much stronger than I was.
Satan certainly knows where to attack us, doesn’t he? For some people his plan of attack is against their health or their career. That’s what needed to break them & brings them to despair……… for a woman like you his plan of attack is your family. What he’s hoping to do Jennifer is to break you and make you a non-entity in this spiritual battle we call life.
Cling to God for that is where your help comes from. He is the calm in the midst of the storm.
Praying for you & yours.
Jennifer,
I have followed your blog for several years and have never left a comment. I am truly sorry that you, your husband and children are facing such a difficult situation. With three young children of my own, I can’t even begin to imagine how tough this must be for all involved, especially your children. I hope things will work out for all of you and that you will be blessed with peace and contentment.
With that being said, I feel the need to tell you that after reading this post I have a nagging feeling in my gut that something’s just not right. This post left me questioning your intentions and your real motivation. I understand this is your blog and you are free to write anything you’d like. I also understand that during this tough time pouring out your heart can be helpful, a form of “therapy” even. And I know that the support you are receiving is sustaining you during these dark days. So in that respect, I see nothing wrong with you voicing your feelings here, for all to read. I understand that many people care for you and your children and are emotionally invested in your family. I also understand that your blog is your source of income and that you are dependent on that income now more than ever.
But reading this post and seeing you solicit readers to follow you on Twitter and Facebook so that they can read your “unfiltered” feelings at any moment seems to be nothing more than a ploy to gain new followers through outlets where you offer tiny, vague, tidbits of information which lead to more questions and increased traffic to your blog. And to offer a link for a deal on shoes on your affiliate page in a post in which you speak of crying yourself to sleep just doesn’t seem genuine to me. Soliciting followers and linking to shoe sales that you benefit monetarily from while speaking of crying yourself to sleep and wanting your husband back (who you have made clear to everyone “left your family”) in the same breath just doesn’t feel right. And then to address a controversial topic like planned parenthood, abortion and breast cancer in that same post? You just swung the door of doubt wide open.
I hope I am wrong. I hope you would not use this sad turn of events to generate a larger readership. You do have an opportunity to gain readers (and supporters) through this tough time. You have an opportunity to help others while also receiving the help and support you also need. Unfortunately when you solicit followers and sale shoes minutes after professing heartbreak, your intentions become blurred and questionable. I can’t imagine losing my husband, regardless of the circumstances, and days later asking people to follow my social media outlets so they can stay up to date on how I’m feeling “at any given moment.” It just doesn’t seem right.
Maybe I am the only one questioning your motives. Maybe I am the only one with a feeling deep in my gut that something’s just not right about how all of this is playing out and the real possibility that you may be using this situation to your advantage. And, honestly, I hope I am. I hope I am wrong and if I am, please accept my heartfelt apology. Best wishes to your family.
Angela
I’m sorry it seems like a ploy to you. What we are going through is real. I write about our lives. I am paid for it. It is also therapeutic for me. It’s my job, one of my passions and my hobby. It’s relaxing, helpful, comforting and important for me to have this outlet. I want people to read. I want to share about my feelings…my kids…my hope in my Almighty God. That I am able to earn an income for our family through something that also connects me with so many women in an amazing online community sort of way is nothing short of an amazing blessing. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
First of all, I wouldn’t wish your situation on my worst enemy. I do hope that this path ends up being a positive one for you and your family in the end.
I understand the need to support one’s family and I do see your point a bit. But, this post had me having a similar response as Angela for all of the same reasons. It’s one thing to use this as an outlet, but in the very same post to attempt to increase readership and direct people to a sale makes it all seem very insincere. I hope you can see how many readers may feel that way.
Also, while I disagree with your stance against the Komen/Planned Parenthood thing, I have to say that your enthusiasm about the subject is impressive. If you are so against Planned Parenthood, might I point out that many other organizations also support them…some of which you regularly use or promote yourself. Are you willing to put up such a stand against them, even though they may benefit you? Some examples: Adobe, Ebay (which includes PayPal), Southwest Airlines and their affiliates, Starwood Hotels, Whole Foods, Ronald McDonald House Charities, YMCA. Do you see how your conviction against Komen for their support of Planned Parenthood doesn’t exactly reconcile with your support of other businesses?
I never get in the middle of the controversies on this blog, but I feel compelled to remind people that this post is called “Just Some Sentences.” Being a long time follower, I am mindful that Jennifer uses this type of post to capture random things and ramble (not in a negative way). It is thinking out loud, which she has every right to use HER blog for. Jennifer, I support you, respect you and am praying hard for your family. My heart aches for you all. But, I am anxious to watch and see the ways God intervenes.
Oh my gosh I agree completely with Jennifer. People are blessed when they find ways to earn money doing something they love. You hear that all the time: “Find the one thing you love, and find a way to earn money while doing it. THAT is the perfect job!” For some women, talking is what they love, and so they become a talk show host, or a public speaker. For others, they love listening to others and giving advice, so they become therapists. Others love being around little children so much that they become preschool teachers. I mean, I see nothing wrong with enjoying the connections and friendships that you make online and then sharing your life’s happenings — good and bad — in a blog, reaching out to others, placing a few ads here and there to help earn money while you are doing what you enjoy. Jennifer, like so many other bloggers, enjoys the process of writing out her thoughts. She loves making connections with other women. She could be working in a mall, working at a Target, or working as a preschool teacher or as an aide in the classroom while her children are in school and daycare…but she’s found a way to earn money while doing the things she enjoys, and that helps to keep her home with her children. I don’t think she’s making up all this sadness to gain readers or to increase her families income. I think she just shares as she goes along, the good and the bad. And Planned Parenthood IS a controversial topic, but so what? Many bloggers post about controversial topics and great conversations and debates get started over them. That’s not a bad thing. While Jennifer is going through this hard time, she is still “going to work” and part of her work is this blog; sharing on it, and creating new topics to discuss. I might be in the minority, but I see nothing wrong with this avenue of income. While there are many viewing this blog out of concern for Jennifer and her family, I am willing to bet that the majority are viewing simply out of curiosity and entertainment….and if those people click on the tennis shoe ad and earn Jen some money while being entertained by her life, then hey I think that’s great
I have been a long time reader myself, though I comment rarely. I don’t believe that Jennifer has done anything differently with her post here than in the past. Her blogs have always been personal feelings, tips, advice, opinions, etc.. For you to have a “gut feeling that this is a ploy” is rather harsh and uncalled for. She is doing nothing different than what she has always done and there is nothing wrong with that. I respect her for that. To be who she is but at the same time do what she needs to do to provide for her family. Maybe you disagree with the way she does it, but that is why this is her blog and not yours. I don’t always agree with the things I read in blogs but it is my choice to go back and read more. I really feel for Jennifer and others in her situation and I have a hard time with people who judge how those people react and move on and what they say. Is there a right way to take your mind off someone leaving? Is there a right way to grieve? In reality Jennifer shares more than she needs to and have people judge her on what she says or doesn’t say and that is not right.
One of the reasons I’ve never commented before, positive or negative, is because I didn’t want to become involved in the repetitious back and forth that seems to occur all to often here when someone voices an opinion that does not praise Jennifer or agree with her. I’ve never understood how people are so quick to point the finger, accusing others of judging, when in turn they are passing judgement about others passing judgement. Yes, we choose what blogs we read and we have the option not to read them. I understand that. I’ve always thought that Jennifer encouraged discussion, even when someone disagrees with her or may question her actions, when it was handled in a polite, mature, fair way. And since I’ve read plenty of discussions between her and her readers, both kind and unkind, I think I’m right about that. Which is exactly the way I commented, by the way. I don’t understand why some of her loyal readers refuse to allow the dialogue to occur that Jennifer, herself welcomes, and participates in. It is unfortunate to say the least and after reading for three years on a daily basis and never commenting, I think it’s very unfortunate that I am unable to speak openly here to Jennifer, without being reprimanded by someone who feels the need to tell me what I said was wrong. Jennifer responded to me in a kind, respectful way and that’s where the conversation should have ended. Because, you see, SHE is who I was talking to. So, Stephanie, and whomever else feels the need to attack others who are kind and thoughtful with their words, I hope you really think about what you are doing the next time you jump to Jennifer’s defense when your opinion is not needed or desired. You are single handedly turning those who support her away, which is ironic isn’t it? Thank you for reaffirming for me why I’ve never allowed myself to leave a comment before, good or bad. It simply isn’t worth it…thanks to people like you.
What is the “worth” in leaving a comment, if not to get people thinking about what you said, and when people get thinking about what you said, can they not also comment on it? even if they have another view? That is what a forum DOES. If you didn’t want comments to your comment, then perhaps you should have sent your comment in a private EMAIL so that no one but the blog owner will read your comment. That’s what I do, when I don’t want comments on my comment.
It always seems so funny to me when commenters get hurt/angry/upset/disappointed/discouraged when their comments evoke other comments and opinions from other readers. LOL — and then they always say something like: “See? THIS is why I never leave comments! That’s IT! I am commenting no more!” as if we, the fellow commenters, will somehow….miss them? feel bad that their ONE shot at commenting didn’t work out?
Thick skin, people. Grow some if you want to leave comments. Sheeesh.
Let me be clear…
I have no problem with someone responding to my comment. I have no problem with someone telling me that they disagree with me and explaining their own feelings on the matter. What I do have a problem with, is been told by another person that my words were “harsh and uncalled for” when I spoke with kindness and respect. Because in doing that, you are not merely addressing my opinion, you are questioning my character, whether intentionally or not.
My response to the previous comment was made with only one intention…to make it clear that I didn’t appreciate being reprimanded by another reader for my opinion. I was not “hurt/angry/upset/disappointed/discouraged” that my comment evoked a response from someone else. People may disagree with me as much as they’d like and should certainly feel free to respond to my comment and tell me why you disagree with me and why you think differently about the situation than I do. But don’t assume that you can attack my character, passive aggressively or not, without me defending myself.
And Katrina, I appreciate you taking it upon yourself to “define” forum and to explain to me how it works as if I am unintelligent or a child. What on earth would I do without you to guide me through this process? Oh, and thank you for informing me about the “one comment” rule. I never knew I only had one shot at this whole forum/commenting thing. I appreciate you breaking it to me that my one shot didn’t work out. I’ll have to try harder next time at this whole mature/kind/respectful approach I used today. I am shocked by your audacity and am amazed by the level of arrogance one must possess to feel entitled to speak to another adult in such a condescending way. In fairness, Katrina, let me say with sincerity that if your words came across in a way that doesn’t align with your true intentions or your beliefs on how to treat other people, I apologize for calling you arrogant. But with all due respect, if you, like me, care at all what others think of your character, you may want to refrain from speaking in such a manner that it leaves little room for doubt.
I hear your point. I just think that when leaving comments on a public forum it’s best just to assume you’ll get negativity from some, support from others, bad comments from some, good comments from others. It really just doesn’t matter. Or it shouldn’t. Who are these people and why do we care? The comment was/is intended for the blog owner, anyway, right? So what others say or don’t say … I just don’t care. Why do you? I honestly think that your original comment was very well said, with good intentions. Not offensive at all. Then you got a commenter that had something to say about your comment, and you took it too much to heart….saying THAT is why you never comment (because some people misunderstand what you are saying? because some like to “stir the pot”?) I think that IF you have something good to say that will contribute to the blogversation, then who cares what some might comment back about it! So long as those who are meant to read it, read it… and can take something positive out of it. And the rest of them? the nay-sayers? Who cares! There’s always going to be at least one
This is my take on the whole commenting-thing. It might not be yours, and that’s okay. But you seem to have good things to share, so it’s kinda sad that you don’t like commenting just because a few might criticize you for what you have to say. Just ignore the others. They don’t matter.
Angela, I feel that your comment was well put and very respectful.
I agree with Dawn. Angela had the courage to convey her thoughts on the situaton and she did so in a manner that was respectful. No reason she should be reprimanded for it.
The title of the post is “just some sentences”, as is the style of those titled posts she types sentences about what she is thinking. They aren’t necessarily all related, just some sentences. I don’t think that she is trying to attract more ‘clicks’ her on her blog or get more to join FB or Twitter. I think that they are just part of a bunch of random sentences. When all put together it may appear there is a deeper meaning, but if you take it as just some sentences I don’t see what you are seeing. But I t hank you for your viewpoint and for feeling that you could express it.
I’ve met Jennifer in real life. I just want to say she is genuine. I understand, if you’ve never met her or haven’t really gotten to know her (through her blog), how you could see this post as you do. But, I’d just like to say, I am 100% certain that in writing this post, Jennifer was being real. She was winding down from a stressful day, trying to unload her mind so she could get some sleep.
Jennifer, continually thinking of and praying for you.
I read Jennifer’s post the way Jlynn & Cathie did, with full genuine feeling about “JUST SOME SENTENCES”. There was no single subjet and I was simply stating my opinion of how I see some people read blogs simply to pick them apart.
Angela- I didn’t mean for your feelings to be hurt with my comment however after reading your comment, knowing what Jennifer is going through, I asked – Why? Why even ask such a thing. Even if you feel that way, there is no reason to rub salt in her wounds. Yes, she promotes things on this site, yes she talks about personal things too. That is what her blog is about and that is why it is her blog. I am sorry if you felt my comment was rude to you but at the same time that is what I thought of your comment to Jennifer. And some people even said that they read your comment and thought it was well written, and I agree, it was. However, if I call someone a bad name in a very friendly voice, the meaning is still there in the words that I said. There was no kindness and respect in what you were emplying. And I am not a Jennifer supporter. I do not know her, I simply enjoy reading her blog. As you, I do not comment very often but too often do I read the comments on all types of blogs where the commenter is picking apart the bloggers words to find something negative and using that to belittle the blogger and to me that is a form of bullying. You can call me a bully for writting this but in fact I am trying to stick up and hopefully get people to think before they comment on their “gut feelings” and consider what your words are going to do to the bloggers real feelings. Again I am sorry if I hurt your feelings by sticking up for someone going through a tough time.
The following is not directed at Angela, but at alot of negative things I have read many times on Jennifer and other blogs where the commenter gets insulting and belittles or tears apart the words of the blogger. I am all for open discussions if nobody gets hurt, but we are in a time where online bullying is becomming a huge problem and I have read so many negative things written that were not necessary and it bothers me. I just wish people would think – Is what I am about to comment going to be relavent, helpful, benificial? Sometimes writting our feelings on somebody elses words are not going to provide anything benificial and instead creates what is happened here, where the commenter bicker back and forth taking away from the blog at hand. Again, I am simply trying to defend and not stir the pot anymore.
The problem starts because we cannot read someone’s tone. You can’t tell if someone is being snarky or compassionate by just reading the words. That is why my mom always told me, “it’s not WHAT you say it’s HOW you said it.” When reading, you can’t tell what the person actually meant. You can take a simple 2 word sentence “I’m sorry.” and it can be sympathetic or sarcastic…
True enough Ashley.
The choice that the Komen foundation has made means that many poor women will not receive screenings for cancer. Many women. You have very strange values.
My values are such that I value life for all people, adult women facing breast cancer and babies alike.
But the money had nothing to do with abortions. Women are still going to get abortions, and other women will go without health care needs. How is that helping anything?
I don’t believe for one teeny weeny second that “the money had nothing to do with abortions.”
But if it’s not your money why does it matter. Don’t you see the SGK foundation does much more than ‘support abortions’.’ And for the matter, why do you feel it’s any of your business to decide what another women should do with her body or the child inside of it?
It’s not my business what other women do to their bodies. It should be all of our business what happens to innocent, helpless children. Totally different story. Do what you want to your own uterus. But don’t pretend that that gives you license to kill the child inside of it.
But you are not responsible for that child just like I am not responsible for yours.
I’ll say this and be done. It’s your right to believe what you like, just like the rest of us. I despise when people try to change my mind when I feel so passionately and I’m sure you do to. I’m pro-choice and I have used the PP facilities for all the nefarious reasons listed here. Call me what you like, but it’s my body and it’s my decision. I wouldn’t dream of telling another women what to do with their body or the baby inside of it because it is none of my business. That is why I am pro-choice. Because I support every women’s right to choose. The right to keep their baby or the right to terminate it because it is none of my business.
Just something I came across this morning. It seems Planned Parenthood inmost cases does not even offer breast screening or mammograms. I think there are enough programs that help women get free screening. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq0kBkUZbvQ
Praying for you Jennifer.
Well yea, so do I but clearly Komen doesn’t so it surprises me that you are supporting their decision here.
Agreed , MckMama!!
I’m so very sorry for everything you’re going thru. I have been thinking of and praying for you and the kids often. I do have a question though- you’ve mentioned the goats and other farm animals, but where are Roobii and the cats?
You are ALL in my prayers! Families are truly under attack these days and I pray God’s protection over you and your family in these coming days.
One day at a time
you’re the best mama to those little ones!
You are the very first person who I saw/read about that has agreed with Susan G. Komen’s decision to pull funds from PP….
I wish you the BEST, I pray for your children & you and even Israel that he will at least be there for his children at the VERY least, but my real hope is that somehow you two can work things out and be together and improve and grow in your marriage TOGETHER>…
Good luck to you and those beautiful kiddos.
tara
Well I am the second!
I guess I’m the third.
Fourth!
Been thinking of you a lot. I hope the next home will be a nice place for you and the kids. I will miss the farm, though, I loved reading about how you lived there and all the improvements and animals.
Fuhl’ Dich umarmt.
This may not be appropriate or my business, but heck, I figure I’ll ask. Why do YOU and the KIDS have to uproot your lives? He wants out, there’s the door. Just my opinion. I know you don’t want negativity or fighting anywhere near the children, I get that, but I read that article that gal attached the other day and I say do it — duck and weave, he’ll come around. Duck, weave and pray Jennifer. Thinking of you! Sorry for your tough times, take care.
I think they are having issues with bugs in their current house and have been talking of moving anyway. Maybe they are having a hard time getting rid of the bug.
There have been so many times when I have wanted to echo my 4 yr old’s words ‘IT”S NOT FAIR’. But I am choosing to believe God will bring my family and your family through this. I pray it is with our husbands, oh how I pray for this. But, I know that it will be in God’s timing and not mine. Loving your family and praying for you all. In God’s love, sheila
While on one hand “they are just goats” on the other hand they represent a very recent, happy time in your life so they may be symbolizing that as well as just being themselves. Don’t beat yourself up for focusing on missing the goats right now.
When we moved away from our home for an uncertain amount of time, I focused on the things I missed rather than the people I missed because for awhile it was just less painful.
Of course we all recognize that the current loss of MckDaddy is what you are really mourning and of course the goats are also valid to miss to.
And praying, praying, praying for you MckMama. I don’t even know what to pray but God understands wordless prayers too.
I’m always a few days behind on my devotions from Proverbs31.org and after I prayed for you I read the one from a few days ago and I felt like I needed to send it to you. When you have a moment you might want to read this one, may it bring you some small comfort. http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2012/01/what-is-real-2.html
I think you are right. The goats are just goats. But we did and do love them…and what they symbolized. I never thought about it that way. Yes, it’s my husband I am sad about, him I am missing. Not actually the goats. Interesting.
lots of love, thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family
Praying you got some peaceful rest during the night. My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this. I read thsi verse this morning during my devotional time and wanted to share it with you.
“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” Psalm 63:1-2
I have been praying for you, your children and your husband.
I hope you got some sleep, Jennifer. What you are going through is hard enough without being super tired. I am anticipating going through separating from my husband in a few months. It is totally different in some ways, like it won’t be a big surprise and all. I’m sure the feelings will still be very hard. Right now we are stuck in SoCal living this strange pretend life until he is transferred again. I could have him move out somewhere else, or take myself and the kids back to the South, but the cost involved in all that frightens me. I am so sorry that your husband chose this path. I get not being happy in a marriage and all, but leaving the kids is not something I can fathom. I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is faithful and true. He will provide what you need in all areas of your life. Maybe Israel’s heart will change, or maybe not, but God’s heart will never change. Please email me if I can help you in anyway from all the way out here in SoCal.
My husband and I are in the midst of seeing where our relationship is going. I almost asked him to leave last week. He asked me to leave yesterday. I told him I would not leave our children. He doesn’t want to leave our children either. It is HARD. Relationships are hard. We’ve been working on ours for 11 years, and sometimes no matter what anyone else says to you, it just doesn’t work anymore. Huge hugs. I hate you are going through this.
My parents both had the same attitude as you, Lauren. When my siblings and I were small, my parent’s marriage wasn’t working at all. They were fairly incompatible, but they both said, “I’m not leaving without the kids. If you want to leave, leave, but the kids stay.” They eventually found a place in their marraige that worked and have been together for 38 years. They’ve never been happier and both say leaving would have been a terrible mistake. I hope that you and your husband can get through it and be as happy as my parents are.
Thanks Stacy! I’m hoping it will work out.
The money that Susan G. Komen gave to Planned Parenthood was for breast cancer screenings, not for abortions. In discontinuing its donations, the foundation has eschewed women’s health in favor of political pandering. It’s a sad day for women. And Susan G. Komen will never get another dollar from me.
No, the money wasn’t earmarked for breast cancer screenings only. And, honestly, even if it was, I think choosing an organization that supports breast cancer health AND life for women of ALL ages would be a better place to give grants to, anyway.
Jennifer, you are wrong regarding Komen’s money and Planned Parenthood. Your attitude regarding this is shocking to me as a breast cancer survivor. A woman cannot show up at the emergency department and receive a mammogram. They will be turned away whether they have insurance or not. PP is often the only place a woman can afford to get a mammogram or breast exam.
Breast cancer does not care whether you are a democrat or republican.
I’m praying for you and your family. I’m adding an additional prayer that you never feel something in your breasts that isn’t right. Praying that if you did feel something that isn’t right, that you’ll have a place to get a low-cost mammogram if you aren’t insured. Because if a woman doesn’t have a low-cost alternative, they may die because they wait.
Susan, where did you read that all the money from the Susan G Komen foundation only went to fund breast cancer screenings through Planned Parenthood?
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/files/AR08_vFinal.pdf – please see page 8 of this document. It shows all of PP’s services. Interesting that only 3% of their business is abortions. That does surprise me. I thought it would be higher.
Everyone should know that lots of OBGYN’s perform abortions in their offices or the hospital. They don’t advertise that because they don’t want picketers or someone to kill them.
I’m trying to find where PP states that none of the money from Komen goes to abortions. If I find it, I’ll come back and link it.
Maybe it’s good that Komen has cut PP off. In one day PP received over $650,000 in donations.
Here is the letter that was publicly posted on Komen’s. Website from 2009-2011.
http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content_Binaries/MessagePointsKomenPlannedParenthood2009.pdf
They state: we monitor our grantees twice a year to be sure they are spending the money in line with our agreements, and we are assured that Planned Parenthood uses these funds only for breast health education, screening and treatment programs.
Check out this article…
It supplies quotes directly from the Susan G. Komen Foundation that support the above- (and, I’m sure, below-)mentioned arguments that their contributions to Planned Parenthood were used only for breast cancer programming AND that they chose to support Planned Parenthood after determining the organization’s locations were the best or only options for many women seeking breast health care…
“The decision to fund any breast health and screening program is based on a thorough assessment of a community’s breast health needs and resources. In some areas of the U.S., our affiliates have determined a Planned Parenthood clinic to be the best or only local place where women can receive breast health care. In all cases, Komen funding is used exclusively to provide breast cancer programs, including clinical breast exams conducted by trained medical personnel.”
“We are proud to support Planned Parenthood of Delaware in their efforts to empower these women in the fight against this disease and help their children live in the hope of a future free from breast cancer.”
Oops! Here’s the link to the article…
http://gothamist.com/2012/02/01/will_women_drop_support_of_susan_g.php
It also explains that the Susan G. Komen Foundation chose which specific branches of Planned Parenthood would benefit from their grant money…based on their own research as to which communities were most in need of free/low cost breast health care.
Wow. Look at page nine. 305k was used for abortion services? How much does an abortion cost? Let’s guestimate 500. They helped to terminate ~600 babies in 2007? One is too many, but that is unfathomable.
This is sickening.
Couldn’t you argue though that not having access to early detection could also cost some women their lives? Just because they are low-income and have nowhere else to go? I pray that you are never in that boat, Jennifer, I really do. Do you know how much of what PP does actually includes abortions? Very, very little. Why must women’s health always equal abortion? It’s a DANGEROUS way to think.
I would be able to sort of see your point if Planned Parenthood were the only place women in low-income situations could get screenings. They aren’t.
They most certainly are for many women in many areas. I am a social worker. The alternatives are few and far between. This decision from Komen will risk the health of many poor women.
I disagree.
I’m glad to hear to Minnesota has lots of places for low-cost or free mammograms. That certainly isn’t the case where I live.
This won’t further my cause to change your mind Jennifer because of premarital sex, but I’m going to post it because it may change someone’s mind.
I started a new job in my early 20′s that had a 6 month waiting period for insurance. I had a boyfriend who I found out was sleeping with a girl that oozed STDs. I developed a bump in my private area and was convinced I had herpes. I tried to get an appointment with a couple of gynecologists but even planning to pay cash, they wouldn’t see me without insurance. I ended up at a Planned Parenthood office and paid $10 for an exam. It would have been free if I didn’t have the $10. It turned out I had a pimple – duh! Without PP though, I would have suffered thinking I had a chronic STD.
Since you ask people for proof, I think it is fair that I ask you. Not to be rude, but to enlighten your readers, if what you state as fact, is indeed fact.
Please post the source where you read that the breast cancer screening funding that The Komen Foundation gave to Planned Parenthood when to abortions.
Also, please provide information that would lead me to a place where I could receive a free mammogram without having to apply and qualify for the services. One where I can just walk in the door, like I could at Planned Parenthood, and receive a mammogram.
They money went to abortions. It went to birth control. It went to everything Planned Parenthood provides. The funds given to Planned Parenthood are fungible: able to be put into a pool and used for any and everything the abortion clinic chain wants to use it for. And abortions are without a doubt what they most “want” to perform.
Where else can women with low income situations go for a cancer screening? In many cases, YES it is the only place they can go.
Actually, many (most? all?) of them cannot get a mammogram at a Planned Parenthood clinic, did you know that? They have to go somewhere else. The other places they could go would be those places they are referred out to when they call a PP office. Also the FQHC’s I already mentioned are options for women with low income.
The FQHC’s also refer out mammograms, fyi.
Susan,
I have never had health insurance and have never been turned away from any hospitals or dr. s offices. Of my family and friends across the country, we choose to not have health insurance and none of us has been turned away. If we are unable to cover the cost of a procedure or stay, we set up payments. There are actually care-share organizations out there that do this. Not only do we get better rates, we also get say so in the treatment we get.
Abortions are what PP clinics most “want” to perform?!?!???
I’m sorry, Jennifer, but with all due respect, what are you on??? Where are you getting this information? Abortions are three percent of what PP does. Most OB/GYNs out there probably perform about the same amount. Should we all just stop going to the doctor altogether?
Have you read the book Unplanned by a former Planned Parenthood director? The author gives a sobering, disturbing look into this business that, according to her experience, “wants” to perform abortions. That’s where I got that information.
I just googled the book and read part of it online. She really wants people to believe that a doctor called her into an operating room to help perform an abortion? Someone without a medical degree and/or isn’t a nurse? Really?
From everything I have read, yes the money was earmarked toward cancer screenings. What information do you have that supports your claim differently?
It may have been “earmarked,” it may not have been. I have not seen anywhere were I have read proof that it was earmarked. Regardless, Planned Parenthood themselves went on record with a statement about their funding, affirming that those dollars are fungible. Interchangeable. Usable for any and all services that Planned Parenthood provides. Placed into the same pool of money from which the abortion clinics draw from to provide their various services. See, federal dollars cannot support abortions. Technically. So Planned Parenthood gets around that by “using” those funds for things that they have decided to offer “other” than abortions. Then the other dollars are freed up for abortions. Abby Johnson, a former director with Planned Parenthood, herself affirms that PP has an agenda: get women to have abortions. Why? Well it is the service they offer that profits their business the most. Sad. Sad. Sad. To say that the money was earmarked, in my opinion, is a technical truth that in essence has no meaning.
Make up your mind here, first you say it wasn’t earmarked for cancer screening and now you are saying maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t?
Please link to the statement you are claiming about Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood has ALWAYS offered other services than abortion, it dates back to 1916 when women had few rights in this country.
Planned Parenthood is a non profit, they aren’t looking to make a profit and abortions are 3% of their services. Three percent.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/who-we-are/planned-parenthood-glance-5552.htm
You don’t have the facts on this issue, plain and simple.
I have made up my mind.
Yes, I agree that the funds may have been claimed to have been earmarked. I am just saying that even if they were supposedly earmarked, they actually weren’t in reality. It’s a semantics game. One that ends with more babies getting killed. Not cool.
I’m sorry, were you planning on linking to the ‘proof’
This is getting confusing. Susan has provided documents/links to back up her argument, but now you are saying that PP essentially lies and states that the funds are for cancer screenings, but in reality use them for other things. Is there proof that they have mis-used these funds, intended for screenings, in the past? Are Susan’s links incorrect?
I don’t know enough about PP and the Komen foundation, but I am genuinely interested to learn more about this.
Yes, that’s what I believe has happened. It’s also pretty widely accepted that PP has done no favors for helping end child sex trafficking in our nation.
Could you explain that some more? As I mentioned, I don’t know many details on either organization, so I feel like I am too uninformed to make a decision about the company.
Do you know of any articles/documents that show how they use their funds, specifically donations?
I also failing to see how Susan’s information is not factual (the PP document). I understand if you don’t agree with it, but there is a big difference in disagreeing and false information.
I understand that you don’t agree with PP providing abortions, but you can’t claim that they are lying about what they do with the SGK funds without proof or information to back your argument.
Like I said, I can completely understand that you do not support PP’s agenda, but because you disagree does not allow you to make false claims.
Frankly Jennifer I find your argument here to be totally lacking in any kind of factual support. I respect that you feel passionate about this subject, as do I, but I have provided links and facts to support my argument where you have not.
Can you provide any kind of factual documentation to support your argument here?
Yes, I can. Check out this website and the links therein: http://exposeplannedparenthood.net/
I’m sorry, perhaps I should have been clearer when I asked for factual support.
Do you have any unbiased factual support? If you don’t want to believe the planned parenthood links because you think they are twisting the truth to suit their purpose, why do you expect anyone to believe a link that does the same thing for the other side? Really, come on now, I’m not the naive.
Agreed. It’s a sad day for Susan G. Komen. PP saves the lives of women.
They save the lives of women and snuff out the lives of women. I can’t support that.
No, they provide a legal service to terminate unwanted pregnancies. Not women. They do not kill any women. And only 3% of its services go toward abortion.
http://www.factcheck.org/2011/04/planned-parenthood/
I suppose we’ll agree to disagree.
Baby girls would grow to be women. We are women and we were all baby girls. A killing is a killing regardless of if the female is a baby, toddler, teenager, woman, grandmother, niece, preschooler, senior citizen or child.
So in essence you are saying it’s okay to put the lives of adult women in danger, even possibly causing early death as long as a baby is saved. You are replacing poor women who cannot afford mammograms with babies. Interesting line of thought.
Also, I think I will have to look up the statistics for the number of women who were pressured not to get abortions who actually placed their child for adoption. I am thinking that is pretty low. In the poor area I volunteer in, most women who are pressured into not getting abortions don’t place their child. They keep the child and cannot provide the basics the child needs. Not having an abortion does not necessarily equal a child placed in a home where they are wanted, cared for and loved.
But isn’t that exactly what this decision did?
I agree with MckMama . Killing is killing! If you can’t do the time don’t do the crime…
Killing is killing – fine. This has nothing to do with abortion. It’s not going to stop abortions. It’s a political move plain and simple. One that is taking services away from women who need them, and not addressing the issue of abortion in the least. This money was not for abortion, it was for cancer screenings and mammograms. Those services could be taken away, and babies will still be killed.
Also, I really don’t understand why people are against Susan Komen donating to PP for cancer screening, so much so that they will boycott them, but are totally fine using other companies that donate money to PP that foes towards *all* of their services. How does that make any sense???
I didn’t boycott them, so I can’t speak for those who did. I don’t even know what that would look like. After receiving many requests from readers to remove their ads from my blog, I did some research myself and agreed that removing them would by far be the best decision for me.
You are doing just that by supporting the removal of funding for cancer screening. Cancer also kills a great number of women.
I support the removal of funding for anything if the organization who was getting the funding provides abortions, especially this specific organization, the largest abortion clinic chain in the United States.
Nicole you said “If you can’t do the time don’t do the crime…” and what do you mean by that? If you can’t take care of a child you shouldn’t have sex? What about women who are raped? Are you saying that it’s their fault?
Yes, I understand that you don’t like this specific organization but that is based more on passion of a subject than any type of factual basis. You are clearly supporting unborn children over the healthy and well being of woman by supporting this move by the SGF as you haven’t proven your point.
Actually self induced abortions kill a great deal of women as well. Have you checked out my link from the World Health Organization on the subject? Shocking numbers.
http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/unsafe_abortion/en/
By using the money from Komen for breast screenings, PP had more money free to fund abortions. Whether the money went directly to abortions or not, it still supported them.
exactly! why aren’t people getting it?
Actually no, if you look at the finances of planned parenthood you would clearly see that abortions are a very, very small part of what they do with the funding they receive.
Who cares how many! If the do ONE abortion with funded money its still too many, and some money will have gone to fund it.
I would think that the women who use their services care and care a great deal. But feel free to judge me as well for that belief. I don’t pretend to know what someone is going through when they make the choice to have an abortion, I have never had to make such a choice.
Just wanted you to know you are having many, many prayers sent up for you and your family!! The Lord is close to the brokenhearted….Psalm 34:18
I’ve cried that cry many a nights and it’s exhausting. I am thinking non-stop of you and hoping that something beautiful comes of this…may be something that you least expect but it will be beautiful. It may come quickly or it may be years in the future. It’s hard to see it now, but you will see it and understand in the long run. It’s weird how things work like that. Love you lots lady!
I kept waking up last night and prayed for you, your husband, and children each time I woke! I think of you often through the day and whisper a prayer for you then also. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I know how hard it is for anyone going through a separation and starting your life over again without your spouse. I did it ten years ago. My heart aches so much for you and your family at this time! Hang on to the promises of God’s words like Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28. Love, hugs, and prayers to your family!
Thank you for sharing!! God is with you! Saw this on FB this morning
“YOU MATTER!! YOU HEAR ME?? You matter and you ARE LOVED!!!”
Thought of you when I read it!! Blessed to have good friends–they carry us sometimes. Again, if you come this direction, let me know if I can do anything!! Free meals happen here! Sleep too!! We are used to kidss!! For things you may need to replace—-check out Free Cycle—there are Yahoo Groups all over the country.. I have gotten some really great things on there!! Gorgeous furniture, bed frames, trundle units, etc!! Also, you can put needs out there and you would be surprised what response you may get!
Love and prayers!!
Wow .. seems surreal.
I don’t understand how your husband can just let you all go, all his beautiful children, how IS that possible?! My husband and I have had a fair share of stuggles etc in the past 15 yrs but never ever would he leave my son and I, you’d have to drag him away.
I pray that God brings you together again when the time is right. I read another comment on one of your other posts that said sometimes people just need some time apart, which may be true. But I can honestly say that the kids will not be better off with you two apart. Especially the fact that you have 4 boys .. they need both their dad as a constant in their lives.
I’ve been following you from day one Jennifer, and if anyone can get through these difficult days it is you. You are strong, wise and have always put your children first, they need you and they are lucky to have you as a mom.
Big hugs to you as your begin this new journey!!
Sarah
I agree you are a strong, wise woman and you will figure this out. You will have struggles but you will get through it. GOD will help you and the kids through it. I have been down this road before. Like I keep saying keep your chin up, keep routine with kids as much as possible so they transition more easily. And quite honestly, please don’t take this the wrong way, please, with your husbands long work hours at times of recent, it was almost like you were a single parent anyways: doing everything. Raising the kids both human and animal. Taking care of the home. Homeschooling. Helping support financially. You got this! Also, from experience, kids are much more resilient than us adults give them credit for. They will adapt. Praying for you and your family EVERY.DAY.
I don’t understand how anyone can “choose” to leave behind a wife and five children. My husband also chose to leave his family, simply because he didn’t want to be married anymore. Now he’s in another state and sees his son twice a year. It’s just so terribly sad that it is so easy for people to make life-shattering decisions for others.
My son and I are incredibly close, a team really. That is the benefit from all the chaos, and I’m sure the same will be true for you. I will keep praying that your family can be together again someday, and I have hope for your future. No matter what happens, you are blessed.
I’m thinking that Jen’s husband was probably feeling very overwhelmed with the huge debt load and continuing financial troubles and having to support 5 children. Many men take their responsibilities to be the breadwinner very seriously and don’t like to think about their wives helping take some of the burden off their backs. Hopefully they can work things out….
I’m sorry. Did you ( Denise) just say that Jen’s husband was feeling overwhelmed. That is seriously no excuse to leave your family. Everyone is feeling overwhelmed right now in America! I know many of families who have lost their homes, jobs and everything they worked hard for. Their husbands didn’t just decide to up and leave. (This does not pertain to your situation Jen as I don’t know yours.) I can’t say I even understand the sadness Jen is going through right now. But if feeling overwhelmed is a reason to leave your family then I feel that is not a man, but a coward. Wouldn’t you think that if he was feeling that way so is Jen.
I am praying very hard for YOU Jen and your beautiful MSC! God will light your path. I will also pry that God will knock some sense into your husband to turn down the right path and come back home to you and your children. I am not trying to be mean but I can not for the life of me understand why a man would up and leave his wife behind with 5 young children. Sorry, I don’t think there is a proper reason for it .
Please forgive me Jen. It is just that my heart hurts for you. I know we are told to pray for those who are lost. I will pray for your husband. But my prayers of Hope and settlement are for you and your babies.
I don’t think Denise was trying to provide him with an excuse, I think she was just encouraging people to see things from his perspective. I have no doubt that he’s hurting too, although he obviously has not made a good decision now. I don’t think it means at all that he doesn’t love his kids or his wife. I am reminded of the time that Jennifer posted about how she had walked out on the family. If I remember correctly, it only lasted for an evening, but perhaps that time is helping her understand his perspective a little bit now.
I don’t know if I was in Jennifer’s position if I would be able to see anything from his perspective.
Hey Jennifer, I think you have mentioned before that you & your hubby went through “Love & Respect.” Sounds like the “crazy cycle” is spinning out of control. For those who have not read it, this is NOT a :dig” at Jennifer or her hubby.
If I’m wrong feel free to correct me & I’ll tell you all about it. My hubs & I are going through it now. It’s fabulous. Praying for your family. Divorce SUCKS! I know. I’ve been through one. (no kids involved-thankfully.)
I hope you ended up sleeping well!!
Prayers are still with you.
Oh boy…you have some big days ahead of you. As I read your post this morning I found myself whispering the word ‘creative’. Like a prayer, though. I am praying that God would give you creative plans, ideas, and miracles. Including the restoration of your marriage. He is a creative God and I will be praying for your entire family. Keep your eyes on Him despite the tug to focus on the poo. May you get some sleep…
Oh man, I too had to read a bit to find out what was going on. I thought your tweet yesterday about it being hard was about the working out/weight loss. I feel so stupid for tweeting back! I am so very sorry you are going through this…all of you. I will pray for you and your family. Many Many Many hugs your way.
“a chance to stand up in a small way in support of unborn babies and their right to be born and be loved.”
It is giving babies a chance to be born, but being loved? If the parent(s) do not want the baby to begin with, there is a HUGE possibility that it will never be loved. I guess an unloved, unwanted person is better than no person at all? Hmmm….
A pregnant mother who doesn’t think she wants to/can love her baby can see to it that the baby can be loved by an adoptive family, for example. That would be a brave choice. A choice for love for that baby, even if the biological mother won’t or can’t, is always better than no chance at life at all in my opinion.
I agree .. soooo many out there can’t have children and would LOVE to adopt, but have to go out of the country and also have to pay more than they can afford. Better to give the child a new loving family than no life at all.
That’s a great sentiment, Jen…but you know the world we live in. Reality and history tells us that this doesn’t always happen. Or even often happen.
I’m glad you would rather a baby be born and then abused, starved, mistreated, homeless, or what have you…but not me.
Killing someone is never the answer. It never makes a bad or a potentially bad situation better. It isn’t better. Ever.
I do understand that you (and many, many other people) believe that it is “killing someone.” And given that, I can understand where you would be coming from.
But just as many don’t believe that it is murder. It saddens (no, frustrates, really…) me that although I am able to see where you are coming from, you don’t have the capacity to reciprocate.
I do actually know better than to get into an abortion debate with someone whose opinions are so different than mine. Especially when I know that I do not have the upper hand and that you can delete/block any/all of my comments, no matter how respectful I am in them.
However – I agree with Sally below. It seems that “Pro-Lifers” are concerned with the life of the fetus until it is born. Then it is “pull yourself up by your bootstraps, kid.” and then these people are on their own.
I am not one of those people who values life only in the womb. I don’t have the pull yourself up by your bootstraps, kid mentality. I haven’t and won’t delete, block or hide any comments about abortion or the foundations at hand, just so you know. And yes, I do believe it is murder. I understand that we disagree. But it certain either is murder or it isn’t. Your belief that it isn’t and mine that is is do not have any bearing on whether it really is or not.
Never? I’d rather be dead than be one of the children stuck in foster care, passed from home to home, abused, unloved. I know that doesn’t happen to every kid. I also know that not every kid gets adopted into a loving family. There are so many variables and possibilites and it breaks my heart that people are SO set in their ways that they won’t even consider changing their minds and hearts. Unfortunately, SOMETIMES killing someone is better than not. It is a SUPER sad thing, but it’s true. Also, How do people think it is ok to control what other people decide? No one is better than anyone else. None of us are good. There is only one good person.
I would guess that people who think the SGK/PP don’t have anyone close to them who have had breast cancer. If they do, then…well then they’re crazy.
Well then that would be your choice. One that you have the right to make. The thing is, it should not be for us to decide for someone else if they would rather be dead. Believing that unborn babies should not be killed in no way means that one must also believe women don’t deserve screening for breast cancer. It’s not an either/or. I believe in both.
killing is never the answer? What about the poor women ( many of them are my clients- I am a social worker) who can not afford to have cancer screenings due to the actions of the Komen foundation? You are absurdly naive.
I am not sure what you mean. What about them? Killing another person is never the right answer for any situation.
Sleepy Head,
I lived in foster homes. You consider my life is worth no value. I don’t wish I was dead. Why should someone else have the right to kill me?
Lisa – you can’t win this argument on anecdotes.
If you are a former foster child who has become a well adjusted adult, who is thriving, productive and helpful to society, then you are an exception. Of course it happens. But generally, you have to know with your common sense that the cycle is extremely difficult to break, and generally, people don’t break the cycle.
Again. Of course, some do.
I apologize that this is going to sound like a smart-a##, but sleepyhead, if sometimes it is better to kill someone, why don’t we just extend abortion to living unwanted children?
The problem with the argument about people changing their minds or not imposing their control on others is this: if you truly believe that abortion is killing another human being, you just can’t let that go, any more than you could let it go if people were choosing to kill the toddlers that they don’t want to take care of anymore. It shouldn’t be a choice.
Exactly.
Darla, I know many adopted adults and they are well adjusted, etc etc. They certainly are NOT an exception! My husband is adopted and so are our children. I am so gateful to the many foster and adoptive families I know who provide loving and wonderful care to many, many children and their families.
Something to think about- the attiude that’ an adopted person who is productive, well adjusted and helpful to society is an exception to the rule’ really cuts at the heart of adopted people and adds to the thought that they are not wanted or needed. Please, do some thinking about that.
It would be great if all women who do not want their babies would see to it that they are adopted by loving families. I think everyone knows that isn’t the case. I do not have a lot of experience with women who have abortions, but it would be my guess that if they do not want their baby, they are not going to spend the time and energy it would take to MAKE CERTAIN that their baby is placed with a loving family. I hope this does not lead to more babies being thrown in garbage cans or women having crappy abortions that lead to sickness or death for themselves. I love babies. I believe in Jesus 100%. I love him. I would also rather see an unwanted baby be aborted if it means that one woman, mother, sister, daughter can have a chance at catching cancer before it kills her.
Well, I am an optimist. I would rather see mothers be able to get the love, support and help with their health that they need and see babies not being killed.
I refuse to believe that fighting for both of these things isn’t the answer. I’m never going to say yeah, for the sake of one, another should die. Never. They both deserve life, love, healthy and happiness. To throw one’s hands up in the air and declare preemptively that we know what will happen to a life and therefore it’s better to snuff said life out is a misplaced action. We don’t know what will happen to any life. And would be mothers who can’t, don’t want to or for some reason shouldn’t have babies need the education, support and help before they become mothers. But once a new baby is created, well then the baby needs to have his or her needs and rights stood up for as well. That’s how I feel.
But you do realize that YOU being an optimist does not change one single thing for a woman that you don’t know who is being forced to have a baby she doesn’t want.
I’m pro-choice, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love for abortions to be eradicated. Not because of a law, but because they weren’t necessary. As much as I would love that to happen, I am a REALIST and I know that will never, ever be the case.
Legal abortion is what helps to keep babies out of trash cans, and mothers from bleeding to death with a punctured uterus, and homeless, starving children off the streets.
Optimism is a great trait, but there has to be some reality in there somewhere.
I do have a glimpse of reality: Babies are being killed against their will. And women are dying of breast cancer. The reality is there is a way to help them both, even without being purely optimistic.
**OOPS…left out some words there….I would guess that people who think the SGK/PP situation is a good one don’t have anyone close to them who have had breast cancer. If they do, then…well then they’re crazy.
OMGosh, Darla and others. Really?? This woman you are talking about being “forced” to have her baby…. should have thought about that BEFORE she had sex. That is when the decisions need to be made. BEFORE not after the fact. No matter what we do in life there are consequences for our actions. So because she chose to have a little pleasure in her life, this new life has to suffer for it. Really???? All of these comments have left me shaking my head in amazement. We all have to face consequences in our lives for our actions, good or bad.
Wow Teresa!
You sound like a judgmental person who can’t see past her own green acres.
What if the woman was raped? What if the woman did NOT want to have sex, but someone MADE her?
I am shaking my head in amazement at YOU. You have assumed that every woman who is pregnant chose to have sex with the father. This is a great example of how people have their head up their own cabooses and don’t take into consideration the things that can happen in this world.
OMGosh INDEED.
But that’s exactly what you are supporting with the funding being removed for cancer screenings for a place that provides the choice of abortion to women. You are clearly saying that the life of an unborn baby that may or may not even exist is more important than cancer screenings.
Exactly what you are supporting. There is a way to help both, YOU are just not supporting that here in this blog post.
That is not what I’m supporting. The life of an unborn baby is not more important than the life of a mother. They are both important. I am not in support of removing all funding for all free mammograms.
@Teresa,
Not everyone who is having a baby chooses to have sexual relations, what a naive judgement on your part. Not everyone has healthy pregnancies and healthy babies delivered full term.
Oh lisa, come on. Is that what I said? No. That’s not what I said and you know that’s not what i meant.
Planned Parenthood also supplies love, support, and help in giving women information about the option of adoption…
We adopted last December (domestically) and the birth mom said if she had known she was pregnant sooner, she would have aborted since she was 20 and it was her 3rd baby. To think of that fate for our precious baby girl literally sickens me. I can’t imagine our life without her and to think a few weeks sooner in her pregnancy she would have been aborted. She wouldn’t be on this earth for us to love and raise. The messed up part is that people that believe in abortion have an uncanny ability to put blinders on so that they can not see the person that baby could become. My sister had an abortion 20+ years ago and I know for a fact that there isn’t a week that goes by that she doesn’t think of what could have been. Put the babies up for adoption, tons of people are flocking to other countries to adopt so there is demand.
On another note, Jennifer you are living through a nightmare. My prayers are genuinely with you, your husband, and those 5 sweet babies. I am a product of a dad that left and it isn’t a good thing. I have struggled many years to overcome issues that stemmed from him leaving. I am happy to say while I regret what could have been if he had not left, I am a strong woman that has moved past that. I pray that your relationship with your husband will be restored.
Please see my comment below:
“On the other hand….what if “we killed” the next Hitler, the next Manson, what if “we” prevented a terrorist attack that ended civilization as we know it? What if “we” prevented hundreds of pedophiles from harming countless children?
You can’t really go on that logic, Danna. It goes both ways – it really does.”
I will never understand why people think personal anecdotes are the way to intelligently state your argument.
You said: The messed up part is that people that believe in abortion have an uncanny ability to put blinders on so that they can not see the person that baby could become. My sister had an abortion 20+ years ago and I know for a fact that there isn’t a week that goes by that she doesn’t think of what could have been. Put the babies up for adoption, tons of people are flocking to other countries to adopt so there is demand.
The first contradicts the second and the third? There are thousands of children in the foster care system domestically waiting to be adopted. Literally, thousands of children waiting to be adopted each and every day.
agreed sportsmom. The sad fact is that many (not all) adoptive parents want the baby and not the toddler or older child. They too have blinders on and cannot see what potential an older child has. They will spend thousands of dollars and go to any country that they can if that country will provide them with a baby. Praise be those adoptive families who take off their own blinders and adoptive older children.
Yeah, but isn’t that the woman’s choice? She can choose to give that baby up or not or she can choose to terminate the pregnancy. Not your choice, hers.
Killing another person should never be someone else’s choice. Kill yourself, fine. Cut off your own leg, fine. But no, it shouldn’t be anyone’s choice to do that to another person.
AMEN MckMama—I believe from the very second of conception it is a baby—I am the grndparent of a gorgeous little girl who cam to us thru God from China–I love her no less than the three bio and one angel baby we have. That Angel baby, stillborn at 18 weeks, considered legally an “miscarriage” but I held him—he was so tiny and perfectly developed! He looked just like his brother. Had all his parts…just 6 weeks prior I watched his ultrasound–12 weeks gestation, sucking his thumb and kicking–very alive!! If this is your belief as it is mine, you are not okay with willfully killing a child inutero. i do not want abortion to be illegal, but there are choices. Self-gratification thru sexual relations is not a reason to kill a child. I know a number of folks who have had abortions–they suffer daily!! I have friends that have placed children for adoption–they grieve also, in a different way. THAT is the ultimate sacrifice to go thru a pregnancy for the life of the child that will be grow up elsewhere. Bless these women! Bring me the little ones no one wants—I know plenty that would take them to raise—even this old woman! Don;t want babies???? either have yourself sterilized or abstain!
I am just curious who will financially support all of these children that are born?? A lot of women refuse the option of adoption.
Not Ron Paul.
I realize it’s a heated topic, but I am concerned about the financial aspects of it. As a taxpaper I don’t care about the percent of my check going into it-whatever it is. I am so tired of supporting other people while I have to work every day! I am a single mother and so sick of it, I should just quit-go on welfare, get free housing, food stamps, and medical! Surely I would be better off, since I can’t even afford to go to the dr.!
The financial aspects. WOW! So lets just kill off a baby because, well, we don’t as human beings , want to worry about supporting it. All life is created by God! It doesn’t matter weather it is rape or someone having a night of pleasure or even married and deciding that “Whoops” we have one to many, I’ll go kill this one off.
That has got to be the saddest excuse to have an abortion. Life is life.
I guess I better stop now! I know this will turn ugly! I wonder if any of these woman that say abortion is fine has had the guts to watch one being performed? At 10 weeks gestation they have 10 little toes. wake up people. LIFE IS LIFE! Adoption is an option!
I appreciate your passion Cathy I really do..But I have a right to feel as I do. Plus my question hasn’t been answered how do we pay for all of these babies??? I do appreciate you putting my comments through MckMama.
How do we pay for all these babies?? How do we pay for a human life. YOU JUST DO IT!!! REALLY???? This isn’t a game of who gets to live and who doesn’t because we are worried about who is going to pay for them. THIS IS A FLIPPEN LIFE! You will, I will! GOD WILL take care of these tiny lives! Who do you think you are to say who will pay for them. These tiny babies are not a purchase. They are a human life. Most snuffed out by abortion with a heart beat. Please don’t reply back to me. My mom always taught me if I have nothing nice to say…I shouldn’t say anything at all. I really feel like I have nothing nice to say to you. Excuse me while I go to figure out a way to make a donation to our church. They take care of mom’s who were going to have an abortion but God and our church helped them to see that the life growing inside of them is worth something…See…there is an example of how we would PAY for them. seriously a very sick comment. Sorry, but that is what I BELIEVE.
I think the point Sally is trying to make is that people want to save babies, but then no one wants to pay for those babies once they are here. Take the lovely woman above who wants to quit her job and get on welfare herself because she is sick of paying for other people, for example.
And Cathy? I would do some praying when you go to your church to drop off your check. You were pretty awful to Sally. Preach about the value of human life all you want, but maybe you could also be considerate of the opinions and feelings of others.
Please calm down that’s all I ask. There is no reason to get so fired up about someone else’s opinion. I have a daughter I chose to have-but I respect others opinions!
My beautiful, adopted, almost 10 year old son was “supposed” to be aborted. I cannot imagine my world without him. I read recently that 53 MILLION babies have been aborted since R vs W. FIFTY THREE MILLION Americans…..I have to wonder if “we” (and I say we, because WE as a country have legalized this and then pushed in on the whole world) have killed the person who had the cure for cancer, or AIDS, great inventors, talented musicians….we have no idea what we as humankind have lost because we simply didn’t “feel” like taking responsiblity for our actions. I have miscarried a very early term baby and can tell you that even at 9 weeks it is fully human looking….to say these are “masses of tissues” is nonesense.
Maybe I need to re-read but I don’t remember seeing anyone calling them a mass of tissues. I for one, realize they are babies and still don’t think abortion should be illegal. They are human beings, people. I still think adults should have a choice for all the reasons I’ve already said.
Wow. Unbelievable to me that you concede that they are human beings and still think it’s okay to kill them. As I stated before in response to you, why stop there? Let’s just kill off all unwanted children, no matter how old they are.
I think it is very sad that people feel the need to kill their unborn babies. I think they should be able to if they feel like it is their best option. I wouldn’t do it myself. I think it is wrong to tell people that they CANNOT choose. I see a difference between abortion and killing off unwanted children. If you don’t, then I don’t know what to tell you.
I think abortion IS killing off unwanted children, so you’re right, there probably isn’t anything you could tell me. But I just don’t understand your position–it seems contradictory. You said you see a difference between abortion and killing off unwanted children, but you acknowledged that the unborn babies are human beings. If that is true, what difference does it make whether they are born or unborn?
The difference I see is exactly what you said. One is unborn, one is born. That is the difference. If you had two hats, one white, one black. They are both hats, but they are different.
I know that people are not hats so no need to point that out. I’m just trying to explain what I mean when I say I see a difference. It is not contradictory. I think women should have a choice about what to do with an unborn human. I do not think women should have a choice about a born, breathing on their own, eating on their own, living on their own human.
When I say “I don’t know what to tell you”, I mean that if you can’t open your mind enough to even just the idea that there is a difference between an UNborn human and a born human, then there is nothing I can say to make you open your mind.
I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind just like no one is going to change my mind. I once thought that abortion was wrong. Under all circumstances. No exceptions. Then I got a little older and opened my mind to the real life and the world we’re living in.
Goodness. I can’t imagine 53 million more Americans in this country right now. And to think of what kind of citizens most of them would statistically turn out to be, given how their childhoods would have been like. Thank God for R v. W.
i can not believe that you are thanking God for the law that makes it legal to murder children.
“sarah says:
February 2, 2012 at 11:21 am
i can not believe that you are thanking God for the law that makes it legal to allow women to make their own choices regarding their own reproductive systems.”
There, sarah – I fixed it for you.
hey Darla. i didn’t fix your opinions. don’t fix mine.
i didn’t realize a baby was considered a reproductive system. hmm i should wait for my falopian tube to grow, develop a heart beat and be expelled from my body and begin its own life.
actually, after reading your comments, i can believe you would say it. how very sad.
On the other hand….what if “we killed” the next Hitler, the next Manson, what if “we” prevented a terrorist attack that ended civilization as we know it? What if “we” prevented hundreds of pedophiles from harming countless children?
You can’t really go on that logic, Danna. It goes both ways – it really does.
That’s a LOT of what ifs Darla!!
Lisa can win the argument.
Teresa , I totally agree with you as do I agree with MckMama.
I can win the arguement , as can Tim Tebow’s mom ( just sayin’) .
And Sara, I don’t think she’s thanking God for anything. God doesn’t want innocent children to be murdered.
Nicole, That IS a lot of “what ifs.” I believe Darla was making a point about a previous poster that was saying things like, “what if we aborted the person who would have found a cure to cancer….”.
Also, I am sure God doesn’t want innocent children to be murdered. I am also sure he doesn’t want children to go through what children CAN go through when their mom’s choice is made FOR THEM to have them. I am sure there are a lot of things God doesn’t want to happen.
You and Lisa cannot win the argument. People still disagree with you.
Watching an abortion would, I’m sure, be terrible and heartbreaking. Hearing about children who are born and spend their entire lives unloved, unwanted, abused, etc. is heartbreaking, too. I KNOW THAT IS NOT THE CASE WITH ALL CHILDREN WHO ARE PUT UP FOR ADOPTION. But it happens. Adoption IS an option. So is abortion.
I don’t remember anyone calling an unborn child a mass of tissues.
Abortions rates worldwide have declined actually between 1995 and 2003 according to the World Health Organization (WHO).
Also according to WHO:
Since 2003, abortions in developed countries fell by 600,00.
Highly restrictive abortions laws are not associated with lower abortions rates.
Complications from unsafe abortions accounted for 13% of maternal deaths. Most of unsafe abortions occur in developing countries and account for an estimated 8.5 million women suffer from complications.
http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/unsafe_abortion/induced_abortion_2012.pdf
I believe that it is every woman’s right to choose for herself. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone forcing me to get an abortion (I wouldn’t do it). Therefore I believe it a choice. If I don’t want others to force me to get an abortion I am certainly not going to tell them that they cannot get an abortion of that is what they have decided to do.
Provide women with accurate information and let them make an informed choice for themselves. I’ll do the same.
Maybe the prochoicers need to find a new blog
@Nikki,
Why is that?
My own husband and I are discussing divorce since we can’t seem to agree on anything these days. Last night during one of our discussions I actually had this thought “well this certainly won’t be as hard as MckMamma divorce will be” . I don’t have children involved and I do have a good job. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you with 5 little ones depepending on you. I would be scared to death. There are hard decisions to make right now, but we all adjust to our new beginnings and given time I’m sure you and your kids will thrive! Hang in there and forge ahead and make the best life for you and your kids that you possibly can! You are surrounded by much love from those kids and that will carry you when things seem hopeless. !
Just do what needs to be done on this day.
One step at a time, leading the MSS ( many small steps) of the MSC.
He Who holds tomorrow held today yesterday.
(((((((((((((((((((Hugs from NC)))))))))))))))))))
I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through this difficult time. I’ve been there, with 3 children, and I know how hard it is. I do hope you and your husband are able to work it out, but even if that does not happen, I know you will be just fine. I’m praying for ya!
I’m so sorry to hear that – from what I can tell by reading your site, you are a strong, courageous, faithful woman who will make it through this alright. I’m so sorry that you have to go through it though.
I was so sad to read your latest “adventure” , Mckmama. I too am a victim of divorce – my husband left me and my son was he was only 2 years old. He tried to take him away from me via a long drawn out court battle. But I stayed strong and kept us together – my ex went on to marry again and now he is divorcing AGAIN. Now at least I know it wasn’t just me all that time. A sort of sick vindication if you will. I know this is not your situation – each case like this is different. I prayed for peace and guidance as I raised my son. God took his time in answering my prayers – and I am NOT a patient person!!! But in 2000 I met a wonderful man (my son was 13 then) and we married in 2003. My life changed again – but for the better and the sweeter. I am adding my prayers to all of the hundreds I’ve seen in the comments. There will be times thsat Satan will creep in and try to destroy you and your faith. I thought my faith was gone gone gone never to return. But little by little I learned to trust again – trust in love, trust in a healthy relationship, trust that God knows my lifesong and he carries me when I am at my weakest. My son is now 24 and thriving on his own. He recently told me that he is a little hesitant about having female relationships, given what he watched me go thru. But he also told me that he now understands what a TOXIC relation is – and how much joy can be found in a HEALTHY relationship. I praise God for that revelation in his life.
God Bless, sweetie – I have faith in you!
~Diane T~
Hi Jennifer, I feel really sad because it seems that you are alone in this but I hope that you have family and/or friends supporting you.
I just hope that things will get better. It seems that you are not ready to give up on that relationship and I hope that all your efforts pay off and that this is “fixable”.
On a very selfish note, i am going to miss the farm stories, I’m going to miss the goats and the chickens and the kiddies.
If I had one piece of advice for you, it would be to stay true to yourself, don’t try to be someone you are not. True love is from people who love you for who you are, not who you promise to become.
I don’t pray (and feel silly when I try) but boy if I did, my prayers would be all for you and your family today. (weird I know).
Continuing to pray for all of you McK’s today. The only thing I can say is something my very wise Grandmother, and many other wise people say, “This too shall pass.”
Love to you all,
Erin
I am so sorry this has happened to you and that it has happened to so many others. Marriage is so unbelievably difficult! I would just like to say that I think your husband should have moved you and the kids somewhere clean and safe before leaving. It is wonderful that friends have helped you durring this time. But when you have 5 children and decide to leave the family you have an obligation to be sure they are settled before you remove yourself. I know this is not helpful and I too pray for reconsiliation as God designed marriage for a lifetime but I would have difficulty forgiving abandonment if he did not help you get relocated and settled.
Praying for you are yours in this difficult time. Life sucks sometimes. For you, this is one of those times. I know you will get through this as you have been through worse. Stellan being sick for so long. You were so strong then and you have that strength in you now, Things could be worse, though I know it’s hard to think about it like that. I hope you find your path. Good luck to you in finding your new norm.
I’m sorry to hear ( read) what you going through . You are a strong woman (I don’t know anyone who asks people to pray for the man that has just left her !). God has a plan for you and your Mckmunchkins. You might not know it for quite a while but when you find it out it’ll hit you like a ton of bricks. You have a large viral community that supports and prays for you and your family ( Israel too). I hope you have non viral friends to help you also. You will survive this . This is a bump in the road ( ok maybe a pothole in the road), but remember what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
I hope each day gets easier for you.
wow. praying. my heart breaks for you. praying healing will come. no matter how horrible circumstances might be.. praying for some sort of god-intervention. xoxoxoxox
Praying for you and your 5 angels on this sleepless night. I pray you heal and have strength hourly. Our Father has a purpose for this as not fun as this path may be. Cling to his word, it’s the only hope we have.
sweetest dreams sister,
Erica Joy
I really love that you are sharing all of this. Honestly, I think privacy is way over-rated. What I meant to say is this: If we all keep our troubles, even our marriage troubles, to ourselves — as if it’s some sort of shameful secret — then how in the world are others going to know that it’s not “just them” and this sort of thing happens to other people, too? that it’s fairly common, even? Yes, it IS true that marriage problems ARE common. Husbands leaving the home? Happens quite a bit. Not all leave for good, but quite a few leave for a time…and then come to their senses and come back. Is it wrong? Well, yea…it sucks. They should not do that. But does it mean that it’s the end of the marriage? No, not always. And I believe that people need to know this, for when/if it happens to them. Sometimes the best feeling that there is is to be understood. When you meet someone/find someone who has been there/done that, and they truly understand what you are going through…then that is priceless. And how can you ever find that kind of understanding if no one ever shared what they are going through? See my point here? Like I said, privacy is way over-rated.
All that being said, I’m so sorry that you and your kids (and your husband) are going through this difficult time. I’m sorry that you had to leave The Farm because it seemed like such a NEAT place to live — but you sure did experience quite a bit during your short stay there, wouldn’t you say? Those memories and experiences will always be with you and the kids.
(((Hugs)))
My old, heavy heart just hasn’t had the courage to post yet on all of this ‘stuff’ you’re going through. Until tonight. You made me laugh. REALLY laugh! This tells me you’re allowing all emotions to be felt, which is a really great thing
My thought’s and prayers have not wandered far from your family, since learning of this new chapter in your lives. And…you bet I am including Israel!
And a horsie. Okay, maybe I’m pushing it…. Haha!
Love ya! (((HUGS)))
I, too, am among those who’ve wondered about the animals. What’s really neat is, no matter what, you and your MSC will always have the amazing memories and be able to share all the animal tales, for years to come. I have a feeling your lives will again, someday, include lots of animals. Maybe even a milk cow next time!
On a more serious note though, this Gramma has been through the whole divided family thing…more than once. We survived, even though to be completely honest, I would have never considered it possible back then. My G’Babes now have more G’Pa’s and G’Ma’s, than the average child. Not a proud fact…but…it is what it is and they know no different. Breathe…just do not forget to breathe. Even during your hardest moments, allow yourself to smile, without feeling ‘guilty’…and laugh.out.loud. You’ll be told things like ~ “oh, just let it go and move on” and “you’re better off without him” and all kinds of “blah, blah, blah.” Just try to smile your pretty little face right on through the yuck and muck of statements like this, take a deep breath…and s.m.i.l.e. Try to think of all the thought’s, prayers and wonderful, positive hopes and dreams we all have for you…all seven of you
I best curl my fingers under, because I could really go on and on about this and literally bore you pieces. Just please know Jen…my thought’s and prayers are never far away. By the way…it’s spelled damn it! Or, dammit! <~Meaning of dammit: Used to express anger, irritation, contempt, or disappointment. Yep…I Googled it!
Even in the depths of your pain, you still write so beautifully. I prayed for you many times today, and for your precious children. I know from experience that feeling of it being a very bad dream, and like your world has just been shaken up like a snow globe, and left sitting upside down.
Hugs & prayers for you sweetie! My brother was divorced but re-married and now has 4 beautiful daughters, he does get see his 1st born every once in awhile but he did get to see her for a week at Christmas time. My Aunt is divorced now but she does see some of her 7 children.
Amy
His 4th daughter was just born on Tuesday and his last little one.
My heart hurts for you. I’ve been through a divorce too. My ex left me and my little one just after he turned one. He lives in Duluth btw. If you make it up there, be sure and leave some farm animal poo on his doorstep. JK. He hasn’t seen my son in 4 years though and I’m ok with that. I hope that you and Israel are able to reconcile. The children need happy parents though. Prayers for all of you.
Praying for all of you tonight!
Thanks for sharing. I know it helps you, but I can’t help but know it must be helping someone else who is hurting right now too. What is happening in your life is so hard. So VERY hard. And it is woven into EVERY little thing in your life…not having your precious animals that you had grown so accustomed and committed to. Your missing bed. Moving. Buying shoes for Big Mac. When the Bible says we are ONE…we are never more aware of that than when something OR someone tries to rip it in two. My husband and I have been married 18+ years, but when we were married just two years he had an affair. I remember the searing pain of the ripping even to this day. And when the ripping is at the hands of the one you trust the very most…well, let’s just say….it’s unbearable at times. I get it. But, my God raises dead things. And he raised my marriage. He can raise yours. Your man is not out of the long reach of God’s arm and I pray he is perfectly miserable with himself until he comes to his senses and runs back home. Praying for you and grateful you are sharing your journey. Grateful I can share mine.
totally agree Melissa! I too have been in that same place and your description of what it feels like is exactly what it feels like. That kind of pain is not something that can be mended with medicine. It takes time, a LOT of time. It takes learning to love yourself again and figuring out what the new normal is. You have so many people who are praying for you Jen and love you and your precious MSC even though we have never met you – I pray for peace, for a restful sleep, for you to feel our heavenly Father’s arms wrapped around you tightly – you have beautiful children who even though seem to be adapting well are looking to you for your unconditional love and guidance – you are doing a great job – lots of love from Atlanta , GA!
That’s a powerful testimony…thank you for sharing it!
I feel so sad for you. I can’t even put it into words. I had to do some reading on your blog to catch up and figure out what was going on. My heart is really heavy for you and your family. I will be praying for you. I don’t have anything profound or inspiring to say, but I just wanted to let you know that I am will be lifting you up in prayers.