Snuggling with my children today during rest time, when our littlest one was zonked out in his bed, I had a realization as I lay and cuddled with my awake four.
Love is all you need.
Love is all I need. In so many ways, on so many levels. Yes, love is all you need. I’ve been breathless as I’ve read through your comments and words of support today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Even though you may not be able to share with him directly, would you please consider loving and supporting my husband during this painful time, too?
Love is all you need. It’s all I need. Today, I drank in the sweet beauty of my children and the love they exude. Choosing to hold firm to the love I know my husband has for our family, even should he decide to declare otherwise, I went about my day. We are moving. I’m picking a place to move with our children. I homeschooled my first grader, clipped tiny nailpolished nails for our daughter, spiked mohawk hairdos onto two others and rocked the baby to sleep. Love is all I need. It’s all they need. It’s all my husband needs. Where that love comes from is a factor. I can’t control that for anyone else except myself.
So today, I rejoiced in the fact that love is all I need, both whispering and boldly declaring the thankfulness I have in my heart for the love I do have in my life.
It’s all I need.
I am so sorry you guys are going through this. I went through a painful divorce a few years ago. There were moments I was sure I could not handle taking another breath yet here I am on the other side of it. Very much a changed woman. Stronger, independent in ways I have never imagined. Love on those babies as they need both Mom’s and Dad’s love more than ever. Take comfort in them. They are the beautiful reminder that you entered this with love and forever in your heart.
Where is Lachlan in the pic? Was he napping?
That is what the first sentence of the post says.
She said in this post he was in his bed, zonked out
Yeah, it mentioned him in the first line, being zonked in his own bed.
Oh, Jen, my eyes are filled with tears. My heart and mind are lifting you and your family up to the arms of the only One who can change hearts and restore marriages. I am praying for the kids as they weather another storm in their young lives. And I am praying especially for your husband that the Holy Spirit would whisper truth into his mind and heart! And for you, Joshua 1:9.
17 years ago, my marriage was falling apart because my husband wanted out of the marriage and the family. We spent 18 months apart. Just as Cyndi says, I prayed especially for him that the Holy Spirit was working in his heart, mind and soul. Today, we went out to dinner to celebrate our First Date Anniversary and our 30th wedding anniversary is not far off. We raised wonderful kids together and continue to fall more in love.
We all know too many divorced people for anyone to promise anything about your marriage, but I can tell you that God is faithful and there can be hope. And no matter what, you will continue to find blessings in many, many things, including the closer relationship you develop with God and the increased strength you sense in yourself.
I am praying for all of you, but especially the same prayer for your husband: “Lord, take away his heart of stone and give him a heart of faith. Open his eyes, ears, mind and soul to your truth, and make him whole. In your son’s name, amen.”
Jennifer, I know you have been through so many things, but this has got to be one of the hardest things to go through. I have a feeling though, if you can get through what you went through almost losing Stellan, then you can get through ANYTHING!
Be Brave. Be Strong.
Hug those little cuties!
tara
Hi Jennifer,
I am very sorry you and your family are going through this. You’ve asked for privacy which I respect and is a great idea for you and your family right now. However, you should also respect your children and husband’s right to privacy as well. I am sure your children are feeling vulnerable and uncertain right now with the move and upheaval. I don’t know what your exact situation is, and it’s not my business, but I grew up with lots of fights and tension in my family and it shook me to the core when I was a little girl. If your children knew the true meaning of a blog and your blog world, they may say “mommy, please don’t put me out there, I am feeling kind of crummy and vulnerable”. Just something to think about. I am sending this heartfelt and I wish all the best to your family.
Are you kidding me? Leave here along for crying out loud. They look perfectly happy to me right now. And she should continue to act as normal as possible….this is coming from someone who just went through this last year with two small boys. She is in no way being disrespectful at all. It annoys me how people throw words around without knowing the true meaning of them.
Jennifer, you do whatever makes you feel best right now. If blogging and taking care of your kids get’s you through your day, then do that. Pay no mind to people who have anything but nice things to say. And I don’t want to be rude, I know you love your husband and he loves your kids but people shouldn’t really be worrying about what he might be feeling right now when he made the decision to walk away. Maybe that sounds cruel and I’m sorry and maybe I’m still bitter about my husband leaving our family but, I’ll never understand how a man can bring children into this world and just walk away. What ever happened to “for better or fore worse”
I really think you need to read Erin’s post below.
DeeDee is right. What is most important now is for everyone to show respect for Jennifers husband. Does this mean that people can’t be upset for Jennifer? No.
However. Israel is the children’s father. When you degrade Israel, you degrade the children.
“People” should be concerned about what Israel feels. And, what is written about him. To be ‘condemned’ so fully is never going to help. It is going to cause bitterness. It is going to cause more anger. It is not going to help.
The anger that you have voiced is making things worse. By insulting israel, you insult the children. You also insult, in a way, the man Jennifer was once in love with. The man that helped shape and create the children.
If one wants a marrige to heal, a seperation to bond again….outright hatred will do nothing but shatter any chances at reconciliation.
Please, stop with the hatred. The children love their father and need their father. They need to know that their love for him is not wrong. By spreading this type of hate, continuing these type of comments…it does nothing but harm the situation Jennifer, Israel and the children find themselves in.
Isn’t it a little odd to look “perfectly happy” the day after your husband and father leave? DeeDee has a very valid point, that the children may not be okay with all the publicity.
DeeDee words sounded heartfelt and nice to me. I think she was just trying to be helpful.
I don’t think that is a comment meant to stir up drama, or accuse Jennifer of anything. Every person handles their problems differently and while some may see blogging as an outlet for their stress, others may relish their privacy. I can understand why people would want her to keep certain details offline because one day this will be avaliable and potentially read by her children.
Thank you all who have respnded kindly. I did mean it in a heartfelt way. I wasn’t trying to be rude. I have been “that child” and I felt very exposed when I was a child when my parents were going through their trials and separations. I used to worry incessantly about what the neighbors thought and other family members thought, what my friends thought. They heard the fighting sometimes and it was embarrassing. I used to kick my mother (lightly) under the table so she would hold her tongue so it wouldn’t infuriate my father further. However, I have to say that my parents never bad-mouthed each other around us. My father saw us ALL the time and my mother never tried to keep him away. Needless to say, 50 years later and they are still married but they still argue all the time. I deal with them both way better one-on-one than when they are together.
I think there’s a way to share / vent that can be helpful and healing. Her blog is definitely a community, and here she can find encouragement and support, without mentioning specifics of her situation. I think she’s done that fairly well already. It’s an awfully lonely place to be, where she is. I think to ignore it or not mention it at all would be contrary to who she has worked hard to become – more real, more transparent, less perfect appearing. And also, the hounds would attack like mad at her “deception” of keeping her private life private. (Not that she should in any way be dictated by their influence.)
I stumbled on this article on Pinterest and pinned it because of this one line.
“Love is a verb. Loving your spouse means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing”
I found it inspirational. I had never thought about it like that and was dumbstruck. Perhaps it will offer you something as well.
I have thought a great deal about your family in the last day. And I keep thinking about the saying if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. As terrifying and exhausting as I am sure this is, hold on tight. Keep your faith and when you think you can’t handle one more exhausting moment, grip tighter to your faith. Much like a roller coaster ride; when it gets terrifying you can’t stop the ride, you just have to hold on for dear life and pray til the end. You are in my thoughts daily
That reminds me of the lyrics of a song called ‘Something That We Do’…it is awesome!
I just wanted you to know that I’ve walked in your shoes. It is terrifying and overwhelming and the only thing to do is take care of yourself and your littles. You will be there consistency in a changing landscape. You can do this. Hang in there.
What an awesome (heavy) ability you have right now to minister to women through your blog. Even if you are choosing to not share all your details, how great that you can share where your heart is and by your words, encourage other women who are going through or have gone through the same situation. We can not presume to know Israel’s heart right now, but we can pray that you show him the love of Jesus at every oportunity. The fervant prayers of the righteous avail much!
Where’s the “Like” button?
“Like”
Thinking of you and praying for you and sending you and your precious children and your husband God’s precious love. God Bless your family
I am a child of seperation.. When I was eight years old, my Mother came into my room, gave me a kiss and a hug, and then turned around and left.
For days, I didn’t hear from her or see her.
I had lots of questions. Where did she go? What was she doing? My dad answered every question “mommy is staying at grandma’s now” “mommy is hurting. You know how your brother goes to his room or outside when he is upset or needs to be alone? That’s what your mommy is doing” “mommy loves you.” “what is your favorite memory of mommy?”
My dad let us talk about my mom, laugh, share stories. He told me to draw pictures about how I was feeling. He told me it was okay to be upset, or scared but that he and mommy loved me just as much.
I remember drawing one picture where i drew my mom and dad and then scribbled them both up in black. I think it was the first time I really showed how angry I was. My dad took that picture and we talked about it. Then? We both went outside and he lit up the Weber grill. We burned that picture. It was nighttime. I can still see the little embers floating up to the stars. I cried and told my daddy that I was angry at him. He said “thats okay. This is not your fault. Remember that. Mommy and I love you so much.”
It was quieter in our home. Much quieter. Not only in terms of the lack of fights. My parents never fought in front of us. Never called each other names in front of us. Usually, it happened at night in their room. Anger whispered. However, I still felt it. I saw it in their faces. I heard it in their voices. I saw it in the lessening of hugs and smiles.
Mom came back into my life and my brothers life. Was it hard? Sure. Going from home to apartment. From home-cooked meals to microwave or take-out.
Yet. Yet my patents NEVER let us know the anger they had over each other. They NEVER spoke ill of each other. Ever.
You’ve said twice now that you would never speak a certain way about your husband to your children.
That is great. However, you are speaking about him a certain way publicly.
Is this wrong? Yes and no.
I now am both a children and family therapist. I work with children on all levels. I also work with families. Familes of divorce, familes that deal with drug addiction. Familes that have experienced death.
You have not only every right to feel anger and all that comes with it. You should feel it.
However. Language such as “he left us” and “even should he decide to declare otherwise” and “where that love comes is a factor” is dangerous to make public here. Now, I am not talking about speaking to friends or family or your therapist( counselor ) or pastor. Not at all. To those you may say and yell and even cry what you want.
But here on your blog? Yes, this is YOUR blog. And yes YOU control it’s content. However, language such as you’ve written is dangerous.
Why?
Because when you use such languge so publicly, it does affect your children.
As much as you may watch yourself, watch what you say…when you write such posts it can very well be “seen” by your children. Even if you don’t write the post in front of them, you still have the comments. Comments of support for you…and comments of condemnation for your husband.
Condemnation should not be a part of this. Certainly not from those who read this blog. You’ve given many a testimony of readers greeting you. For all the well meaning readers, many of them now feel for you. Thats good. Many of them feel anger towards your husband. That is bad.
You don’t know if one day, while out, a reader may come up to you and say–with your MSC there–”I can’t believe he left all of you!” Or a friend, well meaning. Or a neighbour.
Those of us who support you want to respect you and your children and your wishes. However, combative language is a dangerous thing here. It’s dangerous because you already have some(some) who see an enemy in your husband. Your husband is your childrens father. For all that is going on, for all that you have shaped your children. He. Has. Too. Your children are biologically and emotionally a mixture of you and your husband. They are tthemselves. They are you. They are him.
You’ve been so open in this blog. You know the ramifications, both good and bad, of that.
Now however is the time to hold back. Certainly you aren’t sharing it all. You shouldn’t.
Can you be angry? Post your feelings? YES! But you also should not post your hatred.
You have an amazing chance here to be an example. An example of an individual who is going through one of the most difficult phases of life.
You have a chance to be an example of someone that shows their fear. Their anger. Their confusion. All while still doing something both extremly difficult and extremely important. Something that very few(if any) bloggers of separation have done: Respect. Respect of your husband.
You have an amazing chance of leaving the hatred to the side. Of being groundbreaking testimony to the beauty of: honor and respect.
Your children have the chance of seeing their mother respect.
I know. KNOW. That I would not be a helper of hurt children and families if it wasn’t for the instant respect of my father.
My parents celebrated their 48th anniversary a week ago. Yes FOURTY EIGHTH.
The most important thing they did, during their seperation…was respect each other in front of others.
Remeber that. Please, please do that.
Beautiful. Wonderful. Perfect. I needed to hear that. Thank you so very much.
Your words are powerful. Thank you for sharing.
So well put. The one thing I try to remember in situations like this with my family and friends is that should there be a reconciliation (and of course I am praying for your situation) that you don’t want others to have a preconceived negative thoughts of him. He is your children’s dad and they will pick up on the negativity others may show towards him. You don’t want others to be judging you or him should you reconcile. You want others, for your children’s sake, to see a reconciliation as an act of love not the negative things they have heard. Not sure if I am putting this right.
Erin, thank you sharing in the manner you did. That was a great post.
I need to proofread. “thank you for sharing”….
Erin, beautifully put. If you can keep love in your heart and respect someone even though you might be hurt or disappointed by him or her, that will make your life easier and fuller and be the best example for your children.
Your post was beautiful, Jennifer, and I applaud you for being kind and loving although that might be not so easy right now. But once you make that choice, things get so much easier and simpler, right?
Wow. What a wonderful, heartfelt and thoughtful comment. Thank you so much for sharing this with Jennifer, with all of us.
I’m going to be the lonely voice that disagrees. LOL
Erin,
Unfortunately, for most families, parents do not get back together. When your father asked you, “What is your favorite memory of Mommy?” My heart broke. You have a different perspective because your Mom, ultimately, came back. Most parents who “leave” don’t.
While I completely agree that kids should not hear hateful language about the other parent, they do need honest, age appropriate explanations. Being honest about a situation doesn’t equal hate.
Most families deal with horrible circumstances after a divorce, including crushing financial problems. Divorce is the number one cause of poverty for women. Do they not admit to their children that money for food is scarce because of the divorce? That is the reality for millions dealing with the aftermath of divorce. Crushing problems brought upon by a spouse and parent that decided to “leave” their family (notwithstanding, abuse or adultery and then you take the kids with you).
The real world scenarios hardly ever fit into the cookie cutter clinical situations that therapists discuss. But they are the reality. Placating the truth seems to be what makes everyone outside the situation feel better, but it really doesn’t help those in the situation, including the children.
Your situation is not illustrative of most divorced families. You got very lucky.
I hope as a therapist you hold parents to a high standard, including “calling them out” if they abandon their families, because many times, that is what happens in a divorce. You state that “condemnation” should not be part of this. While I haven’t really read much of that here (I have read about prayers upon prayers), if condemnation is not appropriate for a husband/father who leaves a family of five small children, who is it appropriate for? Who?
And it is my understanding that this blog helps support the family. This will be a lifeline now more than ever. As a therapist dealing with divorced families, how can you question the writing of this blog (which has been done with dignity IMO) when clearly its financial support is essential, probably even to feed these children? Financial hardship is one of the biggest problems in divorce, if this blog can help support the children, MCKMAMA has a big burden lifted.
You have missed the point entirely of Erin’s hearfelt, moving, inspiring and helpful comment.
Erin has stated that she works with families of divorce. Obviously, she knows her situation is unique.
Erin never mentioned anything about financial troubles, so I don’t know why you are taking her to task for that.
Erin never once said that Jennifer should be “Placating the truth”. She stated that appropriate language should be used with her children.
Erin also never said that “condemnation” isn’t appropriate. She said that condemnation isn’t appropriate in a very public setting.
therapist or not. Erin is 100% correct. The moment people who go through a seperation begin badmouthung, degrading and condeming their partner publicly…is the moment everyone loses. They lose a bit of morality and a lot of respect. It is the moment seperations can become permanant. That divorce, if it comes to that becomes ugly and bitter and even abusive in a way.
Erin said that Jennifer had every right to express her feelings of anger and hate and “comdemnation” but it should not, should never be in a very public place. It should be to family, close friends and….just as Erin said “therapists/consolors”
Erin NEVER said that Jennifer should stop blogging. In fact, she said Jennifer SHOULD blog. However, she stated–and I agree, and many others do too. That blogging hatred and condeming her husband will make things far worse for everyone.
Yes, Israel “left”.
However, Israel is the father of five children. Five children who still love their father. Five children who deserve to love their father.
Five children who should NEVER be told, either outright or by insinuation that their daddy is a horrible terrible person.
They should continue to love their father and know IT IS NOT WRONG TO LOVE HIM.
By having all this heated language…it is essentially telling the children “you shouldn’t love your daddy.” That. That is wrong. Very wrong.
Guess what? I am a child of divorce. My parents never got “back together” they each married another.
You know what? I saw beauty, and joy and HOPE in Erin’s testimony.
And Beauty, Joy and HOPE is exactly what Jennifer, her children and yes, even Israel need.
When someone makes a huge mistake, one that may be rectified. One that may be corrected. One that may be HEALED. You do not spit on the person that made the mistake…when you can, you hold out your hand.
I never said to “spit” on anyone. And It is interesting that you think talking about the reality of a situation is like spitting on someone. You and some on here are living in denial, in a clinical therapist’s la-la land, of what many divorces are and the situations that arise because of them. Many families simply can’t EAT because of a divorce, that is the truth.
Erin does condemn MCKMAMA for blogging about this…
(“That is great. However, you are speaking about him a certain way publicly. Is this wrong? Yes and no.”)… which is why I brought up finances.
A parent must acknowledge what is happening to a child in a divorce or they diminish what the child is going through. When a child is being hurt by one parent, if the other parent doesn’t acknowledge this, they are placating the truth.
There is right and wrong in this world. Period. When we don’t acknowledge that to a child, when they are experiencing the pain of it, we devalue that child.
“But if one By having all this heated language…it is essentially telling the children “you shouldn’t love your daddy.” That. That is wrong. Very wrong.”……That’s what you see out of divorced situations that’s very wrong?
Wow. It all becomes about the person who left, and nothing about the rights of the child.
No one should say to a child that they aren’t loved, but when the parent who “left” is no longer around, when the child has to leave the only home and school they know, when money is scarce and food, clothes, and activities are gone…. no one has to tell the child that love is gone too because they will know.
But there you will be touting “Respect!” “Respect!”…. and I will say “Respect for whom?” Because it is certainly not the child getting any respect.
You are defending and protecting the parent who “leaves” all under the guise of “protecting” the child, when in reality, the child will be suffering but no one will truly be addressing that, for fear of not “respecting” the parent who left.
Your anger is misplaced. Your bringing up financial issues had nothing whatsoever to do with Erin’s post. At all. You brought that in from “you are speaking of him in a certain way. Is this wrong? Yes and no” I’ve no clue where you got that Erin was talking about finances. Or not blogging. Read Erin’s post again. She says that Mckmama should blog. However, she advises that instead of deamonizing her husband she do a very simple–very great thing: Respect.
Erin never said that if the children are hurting she should disregard this. Erin gave an example of her father letting her vent her own anger!
The children–as pointed out–have all right to express what they need.
But when a parent, friend neighbour or stranger degrades and demeans the children’s father in front of them it will cause damage that you can’t seem to grasp. Damage that will irreprably damage any chance of healing. It will destroy any hint of placing a marrige together…and is the perfect recipie for heated and ugly divorce.
No one will ever. EVER. Say: tell the kids how terrible daddy is, let everyone tell them how awful he is.
This behaviour is exactly what makes enemies, makes hatred and hurt and harm.
If you can’t respect your partner, in front of your children, then you are doing more damage to them than anyone can fathom.
I’ve never heard: Go ahead and let mom and dad trash each other! It will make the process so much easier! The kids will be so much happier!
No. Never. That type of behaviour is devestating.
Erin? Thank you for showing courage and dignity…and for being an excellent example. For wise advice.
I applaud you.
I don’t understand the damage? LOL My Mom never spoke ill of my Father, always tried to assure us that he loved us, even as we were verbally, emotionally, mentally and financially abused by him after the divorce. We finally had to tell her to stop saying those things because they weren’t true. Yes, that’s right, she tried to protect our relationship with him (I’m sure hoping he would change) and we, as young teens and teens, had to tell her to stop.
She thought this was “protecting” us, this is what “therapists” said to do.
You can’t fool a kid.
There is a difference between slamming your ex on a daily basis for everything under the sun and talking productively with your child about their other parent, in an honest way, that acknowledges the child’s reality. And guess what? Sometimes that puts the other parent in a “bad light” because they are doing bad things.
In painful or abusive situations, kids need to hear that what is happening is not right. They need more than just being able to express themselves. They need someone assuring them that what is happening is not OK or right. They need a validation that the situation is WRONG. That is how you stop bad parenting (or abuse) from going from one generation to the next..
And yes, Erin comes after MCKMAMA about her blogging, which supports her kids, who now need it more than ever.
You’ve obviously completely missed the point of Erin’s message and, the importance of it.
You’ve repeatedly stated completely untrue things about what Erin said and meant.
I am sorry that your experience was a bitter one, a painful one.
Erin has made important points while supporting Jennifer, Jennifer’s need to blog, the children’s need to speak honestly and Jennifers truth.
I’m sorry that your experience has clouded the truth here.
That you cannot see beyond the need to vilify.
I do wish you understanding, peace and blessings.
Erin? Thank you for sharing such an important and beautiful story. A message that all should hear. Just as Jennifer must be the victim of “hateful” comments, I think it shows how powerful and inspirational your message was to bring forth such feelings in one person.
Thank you.
Actually, God is all you need.
And God IS love.
God is love.
For better or for worse, For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…. and you have had all of the above. I have always wondered how you can be so organized, a great photographer, a busy mom of five, trips to Africa, farm animals to care for….the list is long for you. I do not do half of this and I constantly struggle making sure dinner is on the table (and its not always healthy) and getting my 5 kids where they need to be. You also have this blog and as great as this is I think the best way to start new is KISS principle. Keep it simple silly! Some people love to thrive on staying crazy busy but in the end something gives. And this something that gave is a BIG something. You both have dealt with big health issues and big money issues…one alone can do a person in…. you have so many friends it seems locally and through this blog….I hope you can find time to get away and maybe even with your husband……it is very important for a marriage to work you need time together….just the two of you. My husband and I don’t get away much but when we do its like the sun shines brighter and the flowers smell better..it gives you a new outlook. I hope things work out for you all. Remember to take baby steps…you have to walk before you can run. Good Luck.
Thought of this verse when I read your post.
“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. “(1 Thess. 5:18)
Praise God you’re choosing thankfulness in the midst of your storm. That will be a fortress of protection and foundation of faith for your children. If they can look back and remember that their mommy gave thanks even in the most difficult of circumstances, you will divert their attention away from what Daddy has done to God, who alone can do such a work of grace in your heart.
Praying and giving thanks for you!
That last sentence reads weird…
I meant…you will divert their attention away from what Daddy has done and instead you will highlight Gods amazing work of grace in your heart.
Beautiful picture. Continuing to pray for you and Israel
Thinking of you a lot! Praying for you and your family, your husband included. I pray that things will be made right and that God will do a mighty work in your family! God Bless you and I pray you feel His peace.
Jen,
I am breathless and sad as I have just sat down to catch up on your blog and life. I am sorry! I will pray! I believe with you! Yes, God does have a plan yet sometimes it just doesn’t look like what we invision! I wish I could just {HUG} you all and make it all better. Though I cannot, God can and WILL!!! Praying for you All!!!
i literally got a shiver in my body looking at that beautiful photograph. i can see the love just pouring out of each of you. holding so tightly to each other is so crucial. waiting for your husbands heart to be touched in a way he realizes his presence is needed may be incredibly painful and long, but our Father knows and has a plan. as obedient children, we must just continue rejoicing in the positives and dwelling on the positives. your family is being held oh so close to my heart, but the fact that Jesus has you all held closer is reassuring. he will carry you through, no doubt! <3
praying for you in the sweet moments with your children – and the not so sweet moments of daily life. so thankful that the Lord has reminded you today that love is all you need and I pray that He makes it so evident to your husband as well. in my overwhelmed moments as a mommy of two i think of you and all you accomplish daily and the love you pour out to your family – the Lord is using you to bless so many people.
Lifting up McDaddy as well. You guys are on my heart and in my prayers.
I read this article yesterday linked from someone’s blog. It was very good and I thought of you after reading your recent posts. http://mobile.theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him
Praying for you. Love and Blessings to your entire family. May God draw each one of your nearer to Him and in turn back to each other.
Love is most important but it’s not all you need.
You and your family are never far from my thoughts, and always in my prayers. Yes, MckMama, love is all you need…. and you are swimming in it.
I wanted to comment yesterday. I started to, actually, but froze each time. My heart is so heavy right now. For you. Your children. Your husband. Even for Roobli, the goats, and the kittens! I wanted to share with you that you are not alone. That if you cling to Faith, everything WILL be okay, no matter what.
But I couldn’t post this until today. I would have been a hypocrit. I’m walking down a dark path, as well. I have been shocked, scared, angry, numb, and have even doubted God. My heart is so heavy right now, I feel I’m suffocating! My heart is so heavy for my little girl.
Two days ago my 16 year old daughter slit her wrists.
But we cling to Faith. And trust God’s Will. Therefore, we KNOW she will be okay. WE will be okay. We KNOW we are not alone, and love will get us through even the darkest of times … love IS all you need.
Praying for your strength and guidance LizzyLou, and of course for your daughter. I have a 14 year old daughter and you took my breath away. I hope she is open to love and guidance through Christ as well. Hugs for you both…
LizziLou you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. My son just lost a best friend to suicide 2 weeks ago at age 14, so this is something that is very near to us. I praise God that you still have your daughter and that she has another chance to get the help she needs. Even if they don’t believe it at the moment, our kids need us present in every sense of the word so they can thrive and have hope and know the Lords mercy and grace. Keep clinging to your faith and you WILL be okay. God Bless you and your precious daughter.
I am so sorry LizziLou, You are in my prayers during this time. God Bless you and praying for peace and healing.
LizziLou, I have no advice for you as I’ve never dealt with a situation like that, but I wanted to let you know that your family and especially your daughter is in my prayers.
Prayers for you and your daughter, MckMama. her kids and her husband—God is good..
LizziLou! I am SO sorry for the pain you & your family are going through. Last Feb. my husband & I found out that our 16 year old daughter had been cutting. She was doing it on her hips, so we would not see it. We were dumbfounded. She has a very outgoing personality & hid it well. Her greatest fear was that through the feelings of depression/anxiety, which led to cutting, she would no longer be allowed to be a career missionary, which is all she ever has wanted to be. It was while talking to her about all of this that she admitted she just wanted to be done with life & disappointing everyone (we were not disappointed). We quickly got her the help she needed & went through some counseling ourselves to better understand this disease. It was a long road, but now my daughter is sharing about her dark time to help other teens. She is involved with a group that may help encourage your daughter when the time is right. It is http://www.twloha.com. I will add you to my prayer list, as I do understand how helpless, petrified & guilty a mamma’s heart feels when her child goes through something so extreme as this. Please feel free to email me anytime :blessings03@hotmail.com. May the Lord bless you!
LizziLou, my heart broke when I read this and I am in tears. You and your daughter are my prayers.
Great perspective!! Keep your heart soft for MckDaddy. He will come around. He will!! Read the Prodigal Son Parable and be prepared for you and God to run to him while he’s a long way off (Luke 15:20). I have faith that he will come around. I can’t go a day without seeing your cute kids faces and I’m not even their parent! He will come back.
I was so heartbroken for your family when I read that McDaddy had chosen to leave. I will be praying for your family – that you feel Gods love continually, that He gives you the strength to keep looking ‘up’ and that you keep feeling the love from everyone – your real family and your blog family. Don’t forget to take time for yourself and take of you! You are important too and having ‘YOU’ time will renew your energy so you can continue being the great mom you are! Jana
The most important thing that I have learned in my 10 years of marriage is that love is a choice – not some warm fuzzy feeling. A choice. We can choose to show love to those who are a part of our lives. Or not. Glad you’re making the right choice.
PS I have a prayer (from a book of prayers) that I truly believe saved my marriage. Drop me a line if you want me to send it your way.
I woke up in the middle of the night with such an aching in my heart for you, your husband and your children. I am praying fervently for God to intervene in this situation. I have walked this road, and I know how hard it can be when we become overwhelmed with fear about the unknown future. Looking back, I can see how God provided for me and my children in every single circumstance. His provision of faith, peace, finances and answers to heartfelt prayers always came like manna from heaven. I would have preferred that He revealed a glimpse of how everything would turn out for the good of our family, but as always, He wanted me to take one step at a time and to walk by faith, not by sight. I can see now how He met our needs in a thousand different ways, and none of them turned out to be the ways that I, in my own finite wisdom, suggested to Him that they play out.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will carry you through this storm and will continue to provide you with the love and support of your children, your family, your friends, the body of Christ and your supportive readers. I heard the song “Blessings” by Laura Story this morning, and I thought it might minister to you. Here is a link in case you want to listen to this wonderful reminder of how God uses the trials of this life as His mercy in disguise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvgzjNb_X3Q&feature=related
We’ll keep praying, and you keep trusting God and resting in His love.
I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. You are correct that love is all you need. Love your family. Many prayers and positive thoughts going out to you.
I am sorry that it is under these circumstances that I make my first comment to your blog. Our opinions and viewpoints diverge often, but I do love your blog and your willingness to be so vulnerable is completely inspirational!
Just wanted you to know that another prayer is being said on your behalf. I am sure many of your readers would also like to encourage your husband in a loving and gracious way–is his blog up and does he read comments? I would also comment there in a simple way to let him know people are praying for him, but wanted to check with you first as I would not want to do something that you feel would be more damaging than helpful. Just seeking a way to let him know he is being encouraged and prayed over as well.
My heart is broken as I find marriage to be such a sacred gift and one of the most amazing ways we can testify through our life’s work to our children. Your resolve, strength, and love through a difficult time is also a powerful testimony about unconditional love and the security that provides to children is immeasurable. Blessings to you and your entire family.
Praying for each.and.every.one.of.you.
I am lifting you in prayer….you are held close to my heart during this journey. I pray that God lights up the path for your family and that he provides you with all the strength and courage that you need to be the incredible parent that you are. I agree….Love is all you need and love will get you through this! When things get hard and I feel pushed to the limit….I look at my precious daughter and am filled with God’s love smiles fill my heart. I pray that you are able to see God’s love and have a heart filled with smiles when you LOVE on your precious blessings! You will get through this….I have no doubt.
XOXO
Jennifer, I’m so sorry that your family is struggling right now. No one, especially those five little children, deserves to go through such a hard time. But could I implore you to be very careful about how you phrase things with your children? Saying that Israel has declared that he has left and no longer loves “our family” is a potentially devastating thing for your children to hear. If the two of you have separated, please be sure to explain it to your children as an issue between the two of you, using age appropriate language, of course, not that he has “left” them or your family, or that he no longer loves his family. I know it’s a very difficult subject to discuss with your children, but the words you choose now will have a very long-lasting impact on the relationship Israel has with your children for years to come. I wish you the very best, and hope that all involved can find peace and happiness.
Oh yeah I wouldn’t say that. I blogged that even if he should ever assert that, I will not choose to believe it or give up any kind of hope.
As a child, my father left us. A few years later my mother remarried and then she walked out too. So as a child who had both her parents walk out, I will say that it’s hard not to feel abandoned. When adults try and pretty it up by choosing different words it doesn’t change the reality. He did walk out on the family and he has to deal with that. For a child as old and perceptive as Big mac that’s going to be hard to hide.
I do agree that the children need to be reassured of his love and to not hear their father be bad mouthed but the reality doesn’t change.
“When adults try and pretty it up by choosing different words it doesn’t change the reality.”
Exactly. Better to acknowledge it and talk about it honestly, so it doesn’t continue to another generation.
If you have children, I hope you used your bad experience to be a great parent.:) Take the dark and turn it into light. That’s what I have tried to do.
I don’t know the pain and suffering you are going through with 5 small children, and the responsibility you have to protect them and guide them and yourself toward a new life. I’ve gone through my own personal struggles similar to yours and the daily fight just to get out of bed and keep moving is so hard sometimes.
I will be praying that those who aren’t on your side will respect your privacy. That your children, husband, and yourself find a moment of peace and calmness in everyday, and for love and clarity to continue to shine through so that you can find your way through this time and come out stronger and happier then ever.
This breaks my heart, I will be praying for you and your family.
Loving on you even if you don’t know it!
I have been praying almost that very thing for your husband, that God would remind him of his love for you and your/his children! I will continue to pray that fervently that he would return to you!!! In the meantime, I pray God protect your children and pour out His love, peace & wisdom on you!! You truly are LOVED!!!
love this post!
i’m glad you’re able to find contentment in the simple things. and yes, mckdaddy needs love too… perhaps he needs it most of all. still hoping for the best for all of you!!
Continued Prayers for you and especially your husband. May GOD’S LOVE truely fill these words and your heart.
mckmama,
my heart breaks for you, it goes out to you and your family… but like you, i’m not giving up on mckdaddy. 8 months and 2 days ago, my husband and i were in the same boat. only because of god’s grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness, are we still married today. i know you know that god is in control. and i know this isn’t the first time ya’ll have had some problems. i am so very sorry you are going through this time. i only have 2 kiddos, so i have no idea how it feels to be taking care of 5 by yourself. but from what i’ve read from you, and friends, you ARE NOT ALONE. although in the deepest, darkest days in the valley of the shadow of death it may FEEL you are alone, you are not. i’m SO VERY ETERNALLY THANKFUL that through the past 8 months, god NEVER EVER EVER left my side, or my husbands, or my kids. he held us in his hand the whole time. i am praying for you. my heart breaks… i am crying as i type this because the memories are still so fresh. i have been in counseling the past several months and through it i have learned and been reminded of so much. a few things that have helped is to remember that god has ALWAYS been faithful and he will CONTINUE to be. you have been through so much, especially with sweet stellan. i know god is real to you, and without him, you can not get through these tough times. it gives me such hope to know where my husband and i were 8 months ago, to see where we are today. and again, it’s nothing of our own doing (and i’m pretty sure you get that…) it’s totally god. i am praying for you, and just as much for mckdaddy. god can change hearts and i have no dobut he is in control of your situation. praying for strength, peace, comfort and wisdome for you as you are dealing with all of this. a verse i clung to and still do is psalm 30:4-5 (the message)
“All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
Thank him to his face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.”
also, an amazing and one of my favorite worship songs that has been such an encouragement is “ALWAYS” by kristian stanfill. if you haven’t heard it, look it up. the words are incredible!
keep seeking his face mckmama… so thankful that his mercies are new EACH and EVERY morning!!
southern love and prayers from alabama!! (it’s been a while since i’ve commented… but remember me?!) <3 to your entire precious family!!
I will absolutely continue praying for your husband. My heart is heavy with the giants you are facing, but I’m thanking God that He’s got this, and He’s got you. It sounds like you have an awesome, close-knit support system but like so many others, I just wish there was some way I could help.
Ive been reading for at least three years and never comment, but I’m thinking of y’all. You’re a great mom and person just trying to do the best you can. God knows your heart. Keep strong.
Just wanted you to know that I’m praying for you and all of your family. I’ve been there! After 25 years of marriage my husband decided the same thing. God was with us and we are still together today! I’ll pray for you!!! Check out a book by Stormie O’Martian called “The Power of the Praying Wife”. It truly blessed me and helped me have a focus during my uncertain times!!! God bless you!
Ginny
good for you Jen. yes Israel needs prayers too. he needs to be lifted up as much as you and the children.
Leaning on God is all we need….he is the great comforter…he is the love we need. How i rejoice in his loving arms when the world has let me down. love and support you with prayers…
Haven’t stopped by in months, and today, something made me do so. Now I know why. I’ll be thinking of you and praying for you and your family throughout the days and weeks ahead. I’m so sorry to read of your recent struggles – may they be fleeting and may you find comfort, security and joy and above all else, love – and may you feel the healing thoughts of so many around the world thinking of you today. The world would be a better place if more individuals like you inhabited it.
Thinking and praying for your entire family!!!!! Stay strong and keep your chin up
Praying for you Jennifer. Praying that you know your worth as a child of God, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend. That you know there are people who have never met you but are invested in you being ok. That you know the Father will never leave you, nor forsake you. That your beautiful spirit will not be broken. That you are not responsible for the choices of others. That your children were given to you for reason…God felt you were worthy to be their mama. That your husband knows you love him. That peoples hearts are transformed everyday and families are re-united. That you can move forward from here. That God is the same today as he was on the day your husband left. That God heals broken families. That even if Israel doesn’t make the right choices, it doesn’t speak to who you are as a person or a wife. That Israel has the counsel of a Godly man who tells him the Truth. That he is burdened by his choices. That he knows God always forgives and loves us despite our failings. I appreciate what you bring to my life as a reader. I pray that the pain will be less and the joy will be more. That the babes will see a loving mother and someone who submits their life to the Savior in good times and in bad.That each day it becomes a little easier to breathe. Thankful for you. Greatful for our Savior who hears our cries. Praying unceasingly for you guys.
**and yes I posted this on your FB, b/c I wanted you to hear it twice.
praying for you Jennifer. So hard to see you walking this road but God does have a plan and He will carry you. Praying for Isreal too. God loves him too.
Thinking and praying for your entire sweet family. From this blog, I can tell how wonderful of a person you are, and you will all be okay!
My heart aches for your family and reminds me to remain prayerful for your family during this time. as you said, keep looking up!
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have been through seperation and eventually divorce. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I survived and am a MUCH stronger person for it. You are strong and you have the love of those beautiful children to get you through it, and you CAN do it! Hang in there!
Praying for you, your husband and family!!!
My heart is literally aching for you and your family. I know you are strong. I praise God that you know Where your strength comes from! But I am praying for healing, for hearts to turn continually back to Jehovah Rapha, God who heals. Yes, the One who heals infirmities, iniquities and even backslidden hearts and marriages!!!! Praying every single one of you, feels Jesus closely to you now and always!! Praying for a miracle and will give God all the glory when it happens!!!
Praying that now and in the weeks to come God’s love and truth will keep abounding in your heart, as it clearly is right now. You are strong, and our loving heavenly Father wants to continue to use you for great things. Keep holding on. We are supporting you and your husband with much prayer. Even before you posted about what was going on in your lives you were heavy on my heart. Now I know why. May God give you wisdom and discernment as you make decisions, and may your heart continue to be soft and moldable as you walk this very difficult road.
No advice or wisdom from me. You know the best Source for wisdom already.
Just know there is one more Sister here, praying for you, your husband, and your children.
I know from experience that God is with us in the storms of life. Keep finding your peace in Him.
Love,
Joanna
Hi Jennifer, just wanted to tell you I lifted up some prayers for you and your family this morning. I was shocked and heartbroken by the news you shared yesterday, but I know God is going to help you all through it. You keep snuggling with those precious angels of yours and remember that you have a ton of prayer warriors, in real life and via your blog (like me
), lifting you, your husband, and your children up. Hugs from Atlanta!!!
Many prayers for you and your ENTIRE family!!!!!! Our God is still in the miracle business!!!!
I absolutely love the picture. I am checking in to hear about your move (not the where or course…but checking to see if you have found a warm, safe, affordable place). Praying for you today.
Your photo made me happy…you have a beautiful family. God will see you through this troubling time, that is for certain. Hang in there and keep smiling…..it’s worth it for those gorgeous children! Praying for you all! :O)
Beautiful!
Amen! I will be praying for your husband’s heart (and mind, stupid foolish men). ! I meant to say yesterday how much I loved (and hated) your post. I was so shook to the core by all that was going on with you and your family. When my hubby got home from work I shared it with him and we decided together that we loved the words that you spoke about your hope and wait for your husband to come around. We decided together that should we ever find ourselves in a similar position we both would do the same thing and fight and wait for each other.
I am so unbelievably sad to hear whats been going on with you but know that its been strengthening other relationships!
You can do hard things! I’ve watched you do crazy hard things in the years I’ve been reading.
I can only imagine the weight of responsibilities that you feel. You’ve got this. Keep your head up and your eye on the prize. When we find our strength in Jesus nothing and no one can take it!
Many prayers for all of you! May you feel our love!
Keep exercising, keep blogging, keep making your life better!
Praying for you Jennifer.
I don’t know if you know about this ministry but it’f a support for people standing for the healing of their marriage. You can sign up for daily devotionals that will help you in your stand.
http://www.rejoiceministries.org/
sending you warm thoughts and prayers from way across the ocean. May the the well in your soul spring eternal with the faith, hope and love that guide and inspire you every day. you are an amazing lady and you will brave this storm and steer your family safely through.
Im so sad today after learning that your husband is leaving you. Its been such a struggle for me being a single mom to my four kids (rewarding but hard). Ill be thinking of you….praying for you….hoping your husband chooses to come back.
I’ve been praying for you and your family, including Israel. Praying that God will restore his heart and surround him with people who love the Lord fiercely. Praying that in this time of pain for him, Israel will turn his heart towards God and not away. May the Prince of Peace give you rest today, the Wonderful Counselor give you wisdom, and the Almighty God shower you with His Love.
that is one of the wisest things you ever said. We do need to love him. For my sin is no different than his sin. We need to love him because we are commanded to. Because we too want love. Oh how I wish I was there, how I wish I could hug you, how I wish I could put a seal over your heart so you do not have to feel it breaking but for now I can pray for you
Jen this morning I prayed for you, and your children, but mostly I prayed for your husband, for God to restore him, bring him back, change his heart, change your marriage. LOVE is all you need, Gods love can change the world so it can certainly change one man and one woman. In His love.
Kim from NC
I am amazed every time I read your blog and comments, by all the people, who’s lives you touch. I am constantly amazed by your strength as a woman, mother and wife. Continue to hold on to the love of your children, family, friends and all your unknown friends. Especially hold unto the unconditional love of our Lord.
I wanted to share with you a ladies blog I have been reading for a long time. She loves to create things on her sewing machine and she has 4 little children very close in age. She is a christian and found out about 2 weeks ago that her husband of 10 years has been cheating on her for years. She has drawn so close to God during this time. She has posted almost every day since then talking about how God has wrapped her up in His arms and how the Bible has spoke to her and comforted her during this difficult time. I am not saying your husband is cheating, I’m just saying you might want to read her blog http://www.generallywondering.blogspot.com to share in her encouragement from the Lord. I hope this is helpful. God Bless you and your family.
Praying for your family. God will never leave you and is there for you.
Praying for you and your family
And you’ve got soooo much of it!
What an awesome photo!!
http://mobile.theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him
might be a good read right now:)
sending lots of support to you&your ENTIRE family! i hope that things work out the way all of you need it!
Dear Israel,
I’m praying for you and your family. My husband is praying too. Regardless of if we know each other in real life, I believe that we both walk the same path and it will end in glory where we can all meet. I’ve read about your deep love for these children and the commitment that you had for your marriage. I don’t believe that those feelings and convictions have subsided, even though they may be hard to see right now. We will be praying for clarity for you, for reconciliation for your marriage and the restoration of your family. Trust in Him, the one who can mend anything. He can make anything new. He’s the only one who gives us the strength to wipe the slate clean. I hope this doesn’t sound trite. I’ve been burdened for your marriage since the first time Jennifer blogged about it and prayed for you anytime Jesus brought you to my mind. I will continue to do so and continue to believe in God’s love for marriage and His desire to see things be made right again.
Love, the Fiorito’s
Praying…
You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. I am so glad you were able to find some peace and joy today with your children. The love you all have for each other, along with the incredible grace of God’s love, will carry you through this storm. God bless. I will certainly keep praying for you and your entire family.
You and the four older kids look so happy in this picture. May the entire MckFamily feel surrounded by God’s love, and your blog community’s love, during this time.
Hi Jen. I’m going through the same situation. God has blessed us though and I have faith it will all work out in his plan. My husband chose to leave our three year old, 4 month old and myself, last summer. He moved 1500 miles away and never looked back. Rare phone calls, and no visiting. He even has a new serious relationship. But I know that God has an awesome plan for my babies and I. Just like He does for your family too.
Praying for you guys. I prayed and prayed for my husband and still do. God works miracles. I’ll be praying for him to be a light onto your path, take care.
Because GOD is love =)
Ephesians 3:19-21
“And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.”
Amen.
Erin posted some excellent links for you to read. The article was very interesting and an approach I don’t know that I would have thought of. I am so very sad that you are going through this trying time. Your family has had so many changes over the past few years and there is a lot of stress that comes with change. I am most certainly praying for your husband. I won’t share the details of my prayers here… God is working in some way in your lives and as much as you publicly walk your faith, you were bound to come under attack at some point. I know you already have been… but satan hates marriage and the family unit. The family unit has the Divine Imprint of God on it, as the Godhead also has Jesus and the Holy Spirit, too the family has the Husband, Wife, and Children. satan wants so badly to destroy families. Your husband and you are being upheld in so much prayer by so many people around the world. May God clearly and quickly intervene and act in your lives!!! Kymberlie
Amen.
You do know there was no word for “family” until the 14th century? Up until then households were made up of related and unrelated workers, lodgers, apprentices and travellers. There’s nothing divine about it, family is a social construction.
I’ve been thinking of you and your family all day. You and your sweet children are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. I will also pray for your husband, he must be going through a very dark time. Keep loving on those MSC and you will all get through this!
I’ve seen the Lord do wonders in Ellyn and Sarah’s marriages this year and I claim that same victory for yours, if it is His Will. Love seeing all you (minus L) in a picture together. Hang in there!
I second that claim to victory! Amen!
AMEN! EXACTLY what I was thinking! It never occured to me to NOT pray for MckDaddy! All 3 families have 5 young children and lots of changes going on, lots of stress to be sure! Hoping, praying and believing in Kansas!!
I love this picture. Thinking of you .
To be loved and to be loving are two of the most important things in life, that’s for sure.
MckMama, in this unfathomable season of your life, I just want to remind you of what an inspiration you have been in the lives of so many because of the love you choose to share and live each and every day. I have been following your blog for three years and never commented because, as a 21-year-old (18 when I first began reading), I felt somewhat out of place commenting among women and mothers so much wiser than me, a single college student learning how to love. I simply want you to know that you set an example for so many more people than you even realize, and you are loved, loved, loved. You are such a beautiful, humble, and godly woman–the kind of woman who will ask for prayers from those who love her for those who hurt her. I pray that you never lose the wisdom and clarity of God’s love in your life. I sincerely hope that I can someday be the kind of loving and caring mother that you are. You are a blessing to so many. Thank you for your example and your candidness and your willingness to share life with people you’ve never met. I pray that God holds you and your family securely in His unfailing embrace. I pray that He grants you the wisdom needed to walk this path with your children. And I pray that God gives your husband the grace to accept the love and prayers we so willingly lift up for him on your behalf. My heart breaks for you, MckMama. I hope the little pieces of our heartache for you fill the fissures this brokenness has blessed you with. Jesus, be near. <3
Beautiful words, Karen!
I read rejoiceministries.org and covenantkeepersinc.org, both marriage ministries. rejoice has 24 hour radio of music and teachings. Plus daily 5 minute devotions and weekly 30 minute teachings. please don’t give up.
My first book to read from Rejoice was “Prodigals Do Come Home.”
Ya’ll have been on my heart all day…praying for you all.
Love you, friend! And we will be reaching out to Israel, for sure! We love you both, even though we only interacted (as couples) briefly…and all of those beautiful extensions of you two! The Devil might be stronger than we’d like him to be, but oh how our God is stronger! He’s got this.
You have love and prayers for the Mck7 and sending hugs to all from the east coast! Do read the article above a fabulous testimony of love!! Copy it, print it and frame it or use as a screensaver it is powerful!
Keep the faith, Peace be with you and yours!
I’m so sorry y’all are going through this. I read your last post earlier today and have had such a heavy heart for you all day. I’m joining the many others who are going to our Father on behalf of your family. I pray for peace and comfort during this time and for clarity and restoration for your sweet family.
PS- VERY cute picture!
I love YOU. I love Israel. I love every single one of your beautiful babies. I would’ve texted you this but my phone died. 3 hours ago. I left the charger in the room with sleeping Ox…so, you get it here
Not that you didn’t already know these things.
Love is all you need and that photo shows you are surrounded with love! Hope you have a restful night with sweet dreams.
Best,
Bonnie
Love the photo! So sorry for everything your family is going through. My heart is burdened for you. Just know that I’m praying!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
my heart is breaking for you. however, i know and love and worship a God that loves you, your husband, and your family more than you can imagine. take deep breaths and take care of each other. i will be praying!
What a sweet and precious picture!
Amy
Praying for you and yes the hubby too.
Simply put. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
Oh Jennifer, I am so sorry. I pray that you continue to find the peace it seems you are finding with this season of your life. I am praying for you and your family!
To God be the Glory !
Continue to walk with Him.
You are loved by many!
This is the link for Retrouvaille. As well as a link that has been posted to you that I think will help you.
http://www.retrouvaille.org/pages.php?page=7
and
http://mobile.theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him
You will get through this. So many are lifting you up in prayer.
I second (third? fifth? tenth?) reading the second article. It offers an interesting perspective and has given me more to think about.
This sums it up well: “This man was hurting, yet his problem wasn’t mine to solve. In fact, I needed to get out of his way so he could solve it.”
I need to read that often. Multiple times per day. I love my husband and want to solve his problems, take away his pain, make life better for him. But sometimes, I can’t solve his problems. I can’t take away his hurt. HE has to be the one to figure it out and he can’t do it if I’m constantly giving him advice, telling him how to manage his time, telling him what his problems are and how I think he should fix them. He’s an adult, he has to fix them himself. I am an adult and as such, and as his wife, I need to give him space to work on his things and love him while he does. Not tell him exactly how to do it, what steps to take, who to talk to. WAY easier said than done.
Praying for you, your husband, and your sweet children.
Absolutely incredible links! Thank you, Erin
I know Retrouvaille was mentioned above. I would highly recommend attending the program. Many couples who attend say they just can’t leave the kids for a whole weekend.
We attended several years ago when our marriage seemed hopeless. It was by far the best thing we could have done. We had tried counseling. While it helped a little, it was just too little too late.
I encourage you to give the program a chance. If you find it didn’t help, you can continue living like you are now. But maybe, things could be different.
http://www.retrouvaille.org
TW, I am sorry your marriage didn’t survive.
My concern at first also was leaving our kids for a weekend. But then our friend who connected us with Retrouvaille made a great point – leave them for a weekend and try to save the marriage and family, or stay home with my kids and watch the marriage and family die. We figured trying to save our marriage was worth farming out the kids for 48 hours.