Okay, my wonderful friends. It is time for me to get serious with you. I thank you in advance for how you are going to respond. You see, there is a mission I am going to share with you. One that must be carried out by mothers. You all make up one of the most amazing group of women and mothers I have the privilege of knowing, so I want to ask if I can turn to you.
Little two week old baby M, who lives right here in the Frozen Tundra, needs our help.
Just this morning, I learned from a caring blog reader named Kristina about a brand new daddy and baby in her town who are looking for breastmilk. When I heard the story, I literally sat on the floor of my bedroom and cried and cried. Then, I got on the phone and made a slew of telephone calls. I feel with great certainty that I need to do everything in my power to help family. But I am not going to be able to do this alone. I have permission for Baby M’s daddy to share with you, and more details and maybe even a photograph can possibly come later, but for now here is the story.
Baby M was born at the very end of August. He was due the same day as our wee one, in fact. His mother and father found out they were pregnant the same day my husband and I did. But our stories are different. These parents tried for years and years to get pregnant. Baby M’s mama had many miscarriages and lost a baby in the middle of her pregnancy last year, too. Finally, she gave birth to a sweet, perfect, healthy little boy just a couple weeks ago. And then she passed away in her sleep just seven days later.
No one knew she was sick. She was just a proud new mama who finally had her baby boy in her arms. She was struggling, as many of us can understand, to nurse her new baby. Breastfeeding her baby was very important to her. Her milk had just finally really come in, her mother left after staying until day six, and Baby M was nursing great. She was able to pump two tiny bottles before going to bed her last night. When her husband thought she seemed cold that night and went to cover her up, he learned that she was gone. For reasons that they do not understand, apparently her heart ruptured as she slept. She was in her early 30s.
I am sicker in my heart about this baby than I can even tell you. I can hardly see the screen because my eyes are so bleary with tears.
A dear friend of this family has been trying to help in any way she can. She was there at Baby M’s home the next morning. He was hanging on with no formula in the house; he had eaten both tiny bottles. The last of his mama’s milk. This grieving father has support. His family is with him, he has been given paid time off work, and there are many women helping him care for his new son.
But he had one request for his friends that has been unmet. I am not sure if it is because they live in a small town, but even with the local paper and La Leche Leagues, they have not been able to get enough milk for Baby M. He has just started on formula, after finding out that human milk bank milk is extremely costly to purchase.
The next step? Finding a milk share program. This father knows that his wife wanted to breastfeed their baby. He wants to make her dream a reality, albeit a very different reality than the one they were imagining together. One of this mother’s friends also has a baby and she is pumping what she can right now and donating it. But much more is needed, both for right now and for the days and weeks to come for Baby M. Where are there other mothers who might be willing to give some of their milk so that Baby M can have what his mama desperately wanted to give him but will never again be able to offer? I believe they are right here. You and me.
Us.
Will you do this with me? Honestly, I don’t get caught up in fear a lot, but this is my worst nightmare. Many are the discussions I have had with my husband about what I would hope he would do if I were to die and leave behind a newborn. I have a vision that we can provide breastmilk for one year for this new baby boy. Our home is going to be the collection and storage site. A few plans are already in place for getting the milk to this new father and son. They are eager and open to this way of feeding Baby M. It was what his mama wanted. And we, we can give some mother love to this little boy in a small city in Minnesota who will grow up without his.
If you are willing to help by donating milk to Baby M, please email me at contact (dot) mckmama (at) gmail (dot) com so we can talk about the particulars.
The post in which I ask you for your breastmilk. And in which you open your hearts and give it.
Jennifer, There is ALREADY a woman organizing this milk drive for this family. Here is her information – Julie Walters at 507-362-4869. Instead of causing more confusion for this poor family, why don’t you direct all your readers to this woman if they want to donate milk ? Adding you to the mix would just make it more complicated for this grieving family. You should contact this woman if you really want to help. Adding another person to this whole mess would just cause more confusion.
I’m assuming that since the father has given her permission to share all of this – he’s fine with what MckMama is doing.
What’s it to you? She wants to help, has permission from the father, and a bunch of women who want to donate. It’s not a contest, KT. Perhaps you should try to be ENcouraging instead of DIScouraging. It looks bad on the original organizer when you are here peddling.
I’m not sure if she still has milk available…but what about Michelle Duggar? I know she appeared to have a lot stored for little Josie who couldn’t use it…
Hey, I’m too far away to share my good stuff, but wanted to alert you to Milkies – http://www.mymilkies.com/
I won one of these before my daughter was born, and it has been GREAT for a leaky lady like me! It is painless, catches the leaking milk on the other breast while Baby is nursing, and so easy to use. I have a Medela pump I hardly ever have used because the Milkies is just so much easier.
The milkies can catch up to two ounces (I think), which isn’t a ton, but if used at each feeding, it would add up and not take up more of a new mom’s precious time.
Just wanted you to know! (And no, I’m in no way associated with milkies other than as a happy user. =P)
Please contact me if you are still in need. I gave birth to a daughter in July so the babies are similar in age – which is pretty important from what I remember in terms of breastmilk quality. I would be happy to donate as I’ve always had more than my babies need
I just sent an email to see if I could donate some of my breast milk to baby M!
I’m still breastfeeding my 1 yr old daughter and she can definitley share, there is plenty of my milk to go around. For those of us moms who can and are willing to donate, this is really generous of you! To give baby M one of the best things for him. Formula does not even compare to breast milk!!!
I recently read where breast milk is like white blood. No comparison. I have visited the milk sharing sites because I hoped to donate. I’m nursing my 11 mo. old now.
Breastmilk contains white blood cells to help aid in healing
I would love to donate my milk if there was a way to get it there! I am in Canada and have plenty of milk. But I will spread the word and hopefully people close by will come forward too.
Hey there:)
This may sound kind of odd, but how about contacting Michelle Duggar from the TLC show ” 19 kids and Counting”. She gave birth to a very premature little girl named Josie last December after being admitted for pre-eclampsia. Her little girl was in the hospital for many months and she faithfully pumped and stored up a huge supply of milk for her daughter. Unfortunately her daughter has digestive problems and was recently diagnosed as being lactose intolerant. On one episode, she showed a whole freezer full of milk that she stored and now cannot use for Josie. She mentioned wanting to give it to babies in need. It may be too late now, as I don’t know if she already donated it, but maybe you could try contacting her? She seems like such a nice woman, always doing what she can to help others and I really think it is worth a shot.
Best of luck!
Kim
I read that she already donated it to a NICU in her area.
I suggested the same exact thing!
Just found this story via a link on facebook & this is my first time to your blog
What a great calling to lift up this special family in a time of need.
I have faith that mama’s everywhere will pull together to make this happen.
I’m unable to donate milk however, I’d be happy to donate one of my nursing necklaces to Baby M & his daddy.
Please convo me at my Etsy shop: http://www.AikoArt.Etsy.com
or contact me on my facebook page: AikoArt
Godspeed~
I’ve emailed you, I don’t know if it went to the right place or not. I have breastmilk ready but it’s already going to another family. I’m going to raise my supply and in a few weeks I should have plenty more for Baby M.
Where is “The Frozen Tundra”? I dont have money for shipping but I can probably get some people to help me with it.
Oh, I also forgot. Make a post on Milkshare.Forumotion.com !
The “frozen tundra” is a.k.a. Minnesota ; )
Ashley, how do you “raise” your supply?
@ Kirstan: Pump more
A LOT more 
Kristan,
Fenugreek, pumping for longer periods (aka with a movie on or something) and more frequently, oatmeal….LOADS of ways to increase supply =)
I have donated breastmilk in the past (both to a national bank and individuals). It is a wonderful thing and I hope you get lots of help. I wish I had some to send to you, but my youngest is 3. Will definitely be praying!
I weaned my son 7 months ago(at 13 months), otherwise I definitely would donate to this obviously worthy cause. I feel so awful for them, I can only imagine as we also had to fight hard to create the family we have, and are going through it again to expand our family. I wish I could help! I will offer my prayers instead.
Dear people, don’t get me wrong, this is a very sad story, and ofcourse breast milk is the best thing for a baby, but please, I think this man does not know that the difference between breast-milk and formula is not that big. Aren’t there way more important ways to help this family? In my opinion all this energy of transporting the milk and keeping it cool is better spend on other things.
Nanja, I say this respectfully, but you are VERY wrong. I’m not a mother, and I don’t plan to be a mother, but even I know that breast milk is WAY different and WAY better than formula, especially in the first few months of a baby’s life. Breastmilk contains numerous chemicals/substances that can ONLY be produced by a human being and cannot be replicated in a lab. I can’t think of many of them offhand, but I know this to be true, especially since I used to be a copy editor for a healthcare magazine publisher. ALSO, even more importantly, breastmilk contains ANTIBODIES to all of the diseases the mother herself is immune to. All of these immunities are passed along to her newborn to protect him/her. There’s another thing you can never, NEVER get from a formula.
- Shari in California
Not only that, but he is trying to do what his wife would have wanted. If she really wanted to breastfeed her baby, this is one big thing he can do to respect his wife’s wishes to the best of his abilities.
What Shari has to say is 100% true. I am a mother of 4 and I’ve breast fed them all. I also am a childbirth educator and I teach breastfeeding classes. I live in Mankato and just a few minutes ago I saw a picture of the mom and dad in this story and my heart aches because just 2 months ago these two parents were in the very breastfeeding class that I was teaching. My heart is broken for this daddy and baby. I remember Mandy walking into class, she stuck out to me because she looked like my sister. I will be donating to baby Matthew and I am a drop off place for 3 other local breastfeeding friends. We are all healthy, disease free, non smoking regular moms. It’s actually not going to take THAT much time and energy to help this baby out. We’ve all just heard about it today and I can’t believe how many people are jumping at the chance to help. Breast milk is best and any doctor will tell you this. I can’t think of a better way to honor Mandy than to help feed her baby what she so wanted to give to give him. It’s an honor to help them.
I know that breast milk is the best, I also know all the reasons for it, I also admire all the trouble that everybody is going through. I just think that all this time spend on it is not weighing up against the benefits. It is a very sad story, but this baby will probably grow up just fine (physically, because it will not be easy growing up without a mother) on formula.
I agree that while it is honorable for the father to honor the mother’s wishes I do not think formula is a direction he should shy away from so easily. Many mother’s want to breastfeed, but can’t or it gets shortened due to problems beyond their control and they grow to be healthy babies. I also think that I would be more concerned about my baby getting milk from all different mothers. But maybe that’s extra heightened in me as allergies were an issue and you’d have NO way of knowing what a mother consumed that might be giving your baby a problem. Just saying…
Actually, studies have recently found that children who are formula fed are more likely to suffer from athsma, digestive issues, IBS and obesity (both in childhood and as adults…along with that, BM has been linked to higher IQ’s, and FAR better health overall. And for the record…it’s not the best choice…it’s the NATURAL choice…the REAL food for babies. We’re people, we were meant to drink milk from people…not over processed, chemical ridden, broken down COW’s milk. Breast milk is Best is actually a slogan from a FORMULA comany trying to show their compassion and understanding while peddling a product.
I am currently 8 months pregnant with my 4th, and in the wrong part of the country, or I would offer to donate as well. I donated once for 8 months when my first was just a baby to a friend who had many health issues and never produced, and who’s child was failing to thrive in the hospital. It was actually at the Doctors recommendation that she find someone to donate since her child couldn’t tolerate any of the formula’s on the market.
I wish good luck to this family and hope that all works out for the best, in a horrible situation.
I know the studies, and I also know that you are exaggerating. Breastmilk lowers the chance of physical problems a little bit, and only if you allready have a high chance of having these problems like allergies/obesity etc. Nobody has ever proven that breast-fed children are more intelligent etc. I wish there was a way that we could have that much influence on how healthy and wise our children grow up.
Nanja. I breastfed one of my children but not the other, just to find out the difference. The breastfed one is much smarter, better looking, and has an all-around better personality than the formula-fed child. (kidding!) People are just doing the best they can in this crazy world. Can’t we all just get along?
Apparently, we can’t. But if everyone in the world was like you, snas, it would be easier! : Hugs!
and by “we” I don’t mean that you, Nanja, are trying not to get along… Actually, I intended the opposite. I think your remarks were reasonable and non-judgemental. You don’t deserve the backlash that seems to have unfolded. People are obviously pretty het-up about this issue… Oy.
Hugs right back atcha Mckma!
Nanja,
I am not here to put you down but rather to, possibly, give a little perspective. This may not be as much about breast milk vs.formula, but rather a way to honor his wife, and also a way for him to grieve. This father has to be completely overwhelmed with grief. No one expects something like this, nor do you prepare for it. So, maybe for him this is how he feels like he is doing something with his pain and grief, he’s providing nourishment for his infant son in a way that is honoring of his wife’s desires.
My daughter passed away when she was 5 days old, and I almost when crazy with grief. I needed something that would make me feel just a little bit better. So for 3 months I worked non-stop on renovating our home. It kept me sane. It gave me something to do. So, maybe just allow this father and this community a little understanding for how he and us are dealing and coping with grief. After all, everyone deals with grief differently and we should not judge how someone else does it.
Still Resting in Him,
Kim in AZ
Thank you for this perspective, if I look at it this way, it’s certainly more understandable. But still, I think this is all over-emotional action. Not by this man, but by all the people who jump up, and try to help in a way that is (in my eyes) out of proportions.
I think what makes this seem like out of proportion reaction to some is that there IS a sense of urgency here. It is a natural mom reaction – we practically can hear a hungry baby cry as we read the blog, and as nurturers we must respond immediately. Also, many nursing moms have had to undo formula training given by well-intentioned nurses and family members to newborns without parental knowledge or consent.- stories with which we find all-too familiar. These parents want to prevent this baby from becoming used to, and perhaps developing taste preference for, formula. Formula is an alternative in some circumstances, but the parents on this blog, and the father of this baby in need, strongly feel, based on personal experience and the information they have gathered, that breast milk is the much preferred choice for this baby. SInce it CAN be made available in very short order by the network of available nursing moms who can donate, it becomes a realistic solution. It is a productive (pun intended!) way for people to come together and help this family in a way that benefits the baby, and helps the dad who feels desperate that he cannot “provide” for his child the way he and his wife together had decided was the rght way for their family.
I can understand why this seems like a disproportinate response, Nanja. Certainly if there were other more urgent needs of this family they would have been higher on the priority list. We can’t bring the mom back, but we can donate milk. Word went out, and people responded to help. That is a wonderful thing, which in and of itself likely will provide a measure of comfort to a grieving family.
i think in such a sad situation people just want to do what they can. there is no way i could give money but breastmilk is something i could do (if i lived closer) so i think its a great way for someone to help a grieving a family in a way that is possible for them.
I tend to agree that for this father, that being able to offer his son breastmilk is more about honoring his wife and working through his own grief than it is about nutrition. Obviously he is aware of the nutritional benefits but I think his intense desire to offer his son breastmilk really has more to do with his own grieving process and that is perfectly ok. It really doesn’t matter whether the the donors’ motivation was to simply offer the child a better nutritional option or their motivation is moreso to ease the father’s grief, milk donation is a win-win situation.
Breast milk is MUCH MUCH better than formula. It even says on the formula cans!!
There are obviously other ways people could help if they wanted to – but none this personal.
I think it’s wonderful of you to take this upon yourself Jen!!! I guess the saying is true… if you want to get something done – give the task to someone who’s already BUSY!!
I’m in and will deliver the goods tomorrow!!!!!!!!
Cannot wait, my friend!!!
I would be happy to do whatever I can, sent you an email earlier today.
Nanja,
The difference between breast milk and formula is profound… again, profound. That this sweet babe’s father wishes to have his wife’s memory and desire to breastfeed their son live on is perhaps the most humbling, sweet thing I’ve ever heard. Please, can’t we try to open our hearts and minds, to find a way to help him do this? He’s not asking for money, or other means of support.
Breast milk has been proven to be the best option for a baby! I breast fed both of my children and have done tons of research on it…there are SO many benefits to a child who receives breast milk. I even read an article one time on a study that proved that breast fed children even have (statistically) easier times potty training! The benefits are NUMEROUS!!
I think this is a GREAT idea and just wish I could donate, however, my youngest is 3 years old next month! I hope you’ll keep us posted, MckMama!
Breastmilk is best for a baby, no matter who it comes from–it’s right in the WHO guidelines. The LAST resort is formula.
If, for some reason, some really rare reason, I’m one of the like .05% of people who TRULY can’t breastfeed, I’ll certainly buy breastmilk before I feed my baby formula. And yes, I know how expensive it is. It’s worth it.
As others have pointed out there is a HUGE difference between breast milk and formula. Formula could have potentially killed my daughter had she had any as she has a very severe milk allergy. I am thankful each and every day that I did not listen to friends telling me to “just give her a bottle of formula, it’s no big deal” because for us it literally could have been a matter of life and death. Now at almost 2 she is still nursing as she is still very allergic to both milk and soy. Any “milk” other than breast milk that she gets has to be a complete amino acid formula that has to be ordered through a pharmacy and costs approx $50 per can that makes all of 56 oz.
Would not your milk have been trouble for her too if you ate milk or soy? Not just formula?
I feel what this guy is doing is great as a way to honor his wife. It is his way of coping and grieving and it is amazing and shows his love and dedication and respect for her.
My some has many allergies (including dairy and soya) and his reactions to my milk were colic/reflux/excema whereas his first try of dairy resulted in hospital treatment. Once the allergens are removed from the mothers diet the baby can continue to feed.
First most babies with FPIES do not react to proteins in their mother’s milk but will react on direct exposure. Secondly I have been dairy and soy free while nursing. Also breast milk helps to seal the GI tract of a baby, which formula cannot do, and helps protect a baby from allergens in the first place. Breast milk also digests at a much faster rate than formula which also was a huge help with my daughter’s DGE. Without breastmilk my daughter’s already complicated medical history would have been compounded infinately.
I’ll start by saying that I’ve nursed my daughters each through their first year. And I’ve lost a child at birth. These are flipsides of life–beautiful and heartbreaking. Much like this story. But, I think Nanja’s point is worth considering. This father wants to make his wife’s dream come true. That is beautiful. But the parenting process will be difficult for him for the rest of his life. And he will (like we all will) fail where he will sure his wife would have succeeded. This is a very lovely idea for this family. But, if through all of this, I hope someone who knows him is making sure he gets the support he needs. I know you say he is, but it seems that people should be telling him to focus on his grief rather than stressing about how his baby will eat. I absolutely know the benefits of breastmilk, but I also know the grief of a broken parent. Make sure he knows he’s a good father, no matter the outcome of this project.
I definitely see where you are coming from Nanja, and your comment is a reasonable one. This is a wildly emotionally charged situation and people do not always think reasonably during those times.
Before I inspire all kinds of recrimination, I nursed all four of my children for a total of ten years. I was a LLL Leader and I taught breastfeeding for years at our local hospital. Breast milk is the best thing for human children, without question.
However it is prudent to take a deep breath before diving in too fast. Granted, this is a beautiful thing this poor father is doing. And this is a moving, generous action on Jennifer’s part. But Nanja is right and I hope that there are cool heads standing side by side with this dad and baby so that ALL needs are being met and that things are not falling by the wayside in the name of ideology.
Rese and Anissa also are offering wise counsel, although Jennifer, I know you are savvy and did your research to protect all parties before jumping in.
These comments illustrate the passion and warmth of your readers Jennifer, and it is a touching thing to behold.
Just everyone remember what this little family needs more than ANYTHING are prayers. I am praying for them and for all the generous hearts of the women who have left comments here. 
You seem very level headed!
I could feel the warmth through your words! Have a great day! 
My heart breaks for that poor father.
I don’t have any milk myself (no babies here at this point!) but it is my hope that I can share breastmilk with needy babies when I start having my own little ones. I will be praying for baby M and his daddy during this horrible transition in their lives! May God give them a peace that passes all understanding.
Elisabeth
Where are you located? I have almost a GALLON in my freezer – and though I am going back to work, I know we could manage as I have an over supply and would be HAPPY to share it with someone who needs it so much!
Please post updates! I’m barely making it with pumping for my son while I’m at work. But he’s 7 months old and I don’t think we’ll go too much past a year. Maybe I can help out in the spring?
I have no milk, but will pray for the family. May God bless them and you for opening your heart to ask for help on their behalf. Peace.
I am unable to help with supply but thought I would pass this along for all of you who are looking to contribute. My friend Emily is a baker and has created a company called milkmakers, she produces cookies that increase a mama’s milk supply. These cookies are all natural and have even been featured on the show “The Doctors” for all of their nursing and pumping benefits. I figured with so many moms out there looking to help, this might be a great way to increase your supply for both your little one, as well as other babies in need.
website is: http://www.milkmakers.com
hope this helps! Julia
Can you please post updates on this? I want to make sure that I have enough milk to get my baby breastmilk for a year too, but once I start working and know that I have more than enough, I’d love to share. I’ll know in a few months if I can share and how much I can donate. (Right now I am only getting about 1/2 oz at each pumping.) Thanks so much.
Hi Jennifer,
Was wondering if you could hook dad up with Matt Logelin? Maybe he would be able to offer support to this man in other ways?
I think the milk donation is a great idea. Some people may balk at the idea of sharing milk, (germs, diseases etc…) however, anyone who has been pregnant knows we are tested for everything that first office visit. Anyone with something communicable would not be able to breastfeed in the first place.
Kudos to you for taking on this project while you are still in your post partum days yourself!!! Make sure you take some time for you!!
CDC does not list human breast milk as a body fluid for which most healthcare personnel should use special handling precautions. Occupational exposure to human breast milk has not been shown to lead to transmission of HIV or HBV infection. However, because human breast milk has been implicated in transmitting HIV from mother to infant, gloves may be worn as a precaution by health care workers who are frequently exposed to breast milk (e.g., persons working in human milk banks).
-CDC.GOV (faq breastfeeding).
If this post is about Baby Matthew in Mankato, there’s a contact name and number as well as a memorial fund already established for him.
Do you have this info, MckMama? If not, I can forward it on.
I am interested in helping! And I’m in the Frozen Tundra! I will watch and wait for more details.
I’ve got 12 oz for baby M in my freezer and hopefully more to come soon!! I’m breast feeding my 7 month old and she’s going to learn an important lesson in sharing.
Let the pumping begin!!! I live in Mankato and although I don’t know this family personally I feel like I do and it just makes my heart swell with happiness and love knowing what us mommies can do if we work together. Thank you to anyone and everyone that helps feed Baby M!!!
Please share the following link with the baby’s father. If his wife’s heart *ruptured she likely had postpartum cardiomyopathy and did not know it. The link is to an online support group of women who have survived PPCM. There are also some widowers that post there. http://www.amothersheart.org.
What a horrible incident! I have no milk to offer, but I have prayers for the daddy and baby.
I worked for a family just after getting married who had this very thing happen to them. He had 4 kids about a year apart and his youngest was a year old when his healthy wife died suddenly of some kind of heart failure. He was able to give his lil guy breastmilk due to kind neighbors who organized this same kind of thing. God bless you! My heart aches…
Ok, I can’t find your email address anywhere! My one year old has been refusing to let me wean her and I’ve been a tad frustrated, but waiting for the timing. Could if be that God has been preserving this milk so I can help? my email is untilparadise@hotmail.com – please count me in!!!
lovely! Maybe it was meant to be!
I couldn’t help but notice comments about how “formula isn’t evil” and the like.
I think it’s important to keep in mind that this dad wants to A) give his baby what he feels is best, and B) honor his wife’s wishes. If it came down to it, he’d feed his baby formula if he had to. It simply is not his first choice, and he’s willing to do what it takes (with the help of friends) to get breastmilk for his son. But again, it’s not that he thinks formula is “evil”, it is simply not his first choice. I don’t think it’s fair to judge him for that.
That’s all. I hope everyone takes this comment in the spirit of grace it is intended.
Very well said.
I really don’t think the guy things formula is evil either. i think he is doing this as a tribute to his wife; a way to respect her wishes for raising the baby she does not have a chance to raise herself anymore.
There is already a well established forum for doing this that the family can use – milkshake.com. I have donated for years through this – the family should be able to get a connection quickly and they even provide a questionnaire they should use for donors to complete.
That should be milkshare.com
I kind of like milkshake
.
Hearts and heads are with this baby and daddy as they go through a very tough time.
Jennifer~ Can you please pass this information along to the husband? I thought he should be aware of Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. It is heart failure caused by pregnancy and appears in the last month of pregnancy or up to 6 months post partum. If undiagnosed, odds are high that the mother can go into cardiac arrest. I am a survivor of PPCM and have chills after reading her story.
Oh!!!!!!
I live in CT but my daughter and I have excess milk that we would love to share with someone! I’m going to send you an email right now.
My heart is breaking for this poor man and his sweet baby. What a beautiful thing you are doing. If it hadn’t been thirteen years since I nursed a babe, I would gladly donate. I am donating my prayers and let us know if there is anything else we non lactating mama’s can do!
SO sad! I don’t give birth until November, so I won’t have milk until then, but tended to overproduce with DS #1, so I might have some extra we can give later on in the year. How would I get it to you though?
I also am due with my second Dec. 20th, so I won’t be able to donate until after that. However, I always had plenty of milk for my son and I would LOVE to donate if I can! I am in Colorado, is there a way to get it from here to there without it spoiling?
Ok – I kid you not, my son has been weaned for about 10 months and I just sat here thinking about inducing lactation!
You and me both!! I was up to 80+ ounces a DAY at one point and would be glad to have someone to give it to!
80 oz a day?! You hit the mother lode!
How I wish I had some milk to give! My heart aches for this man. I’ve had nightmares in which that would become a reality for my own husband. I will try to help spread the word though…I wish there was more I could do.
Are you going to set up a fund at a milk bank for them? That might be a great idea. If people can give 5 or 10 or 20 bucks to try to win an iPad and bless the children of Compassion International, surely they can give to a milk bank for milk for little M. If 30,000 dollars can be raised in two or three days, surely we can raise enough to feed him for a year as well. Right? (for the people that don’t have milk or live far away) What IS the cost? Many have no clue. Including me
mwah
I was thinking the same thing, as I haven’t nursed in a few years, but would love to help out in a tangible way!
After my premature daughter finally came home from the NICU, I donated 250 oz of breastmilk. I think this is a great idea, but I think we need to keep in mind that there is so much more to just donating the breastmilk. I agree with Sami in setting up a fund at a milk bank. Even though we are tested for everything when we first find out we are pregnant, there are things that can be transmitted through breastmilk, things that we don’t even know. When you donate your milk to a milk bank, your milk is tested and processed to make it viable for other babies. With everything that has happened to this poor father and his sweet baby, I think setting up a fund at a milk bank is the right way to go. We don’t want to give this baby something in someone’s breastmilk that wasn’t properly tested and processed. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT against donating milk, but after having a baby that needed someone else’s breastmilk, knowing that the milk itself has gone through thorough testing to make it safe. I used the Mother’s Milk Bank in Denver…I’m sure they have contacts in the Frozen Tundra to help set up a fund.
I think this is a better idea. Then no worries about the health and history of each donor. A milk bank would screen and pasteurize I assume. I would be so scared that some medication, disease, or food a stranger had could affect this poor baby. This dad does not need any more heartache.
Everyone’s heart is in the right place, I just think there is a safer way to do this.
I have to agree with this AND remind moms that their milk changes to meet the needs of their baby at different ages. It is best to give milk that is from a mother who was nursing a baby of the same age as the recipient. There is a great milk bank in Iowa – http://www.uihealthcare.com/depts/uichildrenshospital/milkbank/index.html – may be the closest to baby M.
I have a problem donating something that is free to a milk bank and having them turn around and sell it at outrageous prices ($2.50+ an ounce) to people in need. If my family needed breast milk I would have no problem asking other mommas for it the way this man is doing.
If I was still making milk I would so be on this! I will be making milk come February and probably have no problem giving some up by March since I seem to be closely related to a milk cow!
Keep us posted! Heartbreaking story.
i want praying for this little boy who must grow without mommy arms.
Is it possible to know his name,
i can’t help these family , i just can praying for baby M and his father.
What a heart wrenching story. I to am teary eyed and can barely read the words on the screen. This poor guy and babe!! I am spreading the word and hope that we can get enough for this little Baby M! Mckmama you are wonderful! Thanks for being you
Tara
What a sad story. If anything were to happen to me, I would absolutely NEVER want strangers milk going to my new baby! Not in a million years.
You wouldn’t give your baby strangers milk but you would give them formula?
It’s not like a stranger would be nursing this baby or that the milk won’t be good milk. It was her dream and now it’s his dream to do what he deems best for his child. We should all be supportive of his rights as a daddy.
I guess it just depends on how you view formula. For some a strangers milk is better than formula. I see what you are saying, though!
And they are going to make sure the milk is safe for the little babe!
I think it is wonderful that this daddy wants to follow his wife’s wishes. I just wonder if her wishes were to have a strangers BM. I would have to agree with Annie. I hope I don’t upset anyone but I would not want anything from a stranger in my babies body.
I will pray for this tiny baby and his daddy!
as long as the milk is certified as safe, i would want anything that my husband decided was best for our baby if God forbid I was not around.
VERY GOOD POINT! “I just wonder if her wishes were to have a strangers BM.”
Well, perhaps we don’t know. But the father is the only parent now, so he gets to make decisions for his son. If this is what he wants, I support him!
I tend to agree with you. Of course I have not breastfed for over 13 years so I may be an “older thinker” on this one. I would be scared to use strangers milk. Period. Just seems like formula is the easier and safer choice in this case. If the baby had issues with formula and could only have breast milk, that would be another story.
It is a nice gesture and a heartbreaking story but I am wondering if there is something else that could be done for this baby instead.
I had a friend who died within a week of her 3rd child’s birth and she was planning to breastfeed again. The baby did fine on formula. This father is probably not even “thinking” things through well at this point. This is just kind of “out there” and sounds somewhat risky to my forty something self.
I would think there are federal guidelines for this. I do not think someone can just start a collection in their home and have people all over shipping milk to be used for a baby without any screening or information. I definitely would want to know what’s going into my baby, being food or breast milk. Some sort of screening process and safety guidelines must be followed. There are rules around cow’s milk such as in my state it cannot be sold unpasteurized, surely I would think there are laws about human milk for the better and health of babies.
Nope, no federal guidelines for private milk donation from one citizen to another!
If both parties want to, it can be done! There are also milk banks and milk share organizations. It’s great that there are so many options available!
That’s just ridiculous.No guidelines??? I mean how will this man have any idea what his baby is ingesting? Who know’s what kind of diseases or substances could be unknowingly/unintentionally passed on to this baby. I think it’s very kind that so many want to help but I am amazed that someone would even consider feeding unscreened breast milk from complete strangers to their baby. If he is set on doing this then I think he needs to go about it a different way. Not just stopping by some strangers house and picking up random breast milk.
No legal guidelines, nope. But we are handling this in a safe way, far from “stopping by some stranger’s house.” This is what he wants, and there are lots of us who want to make it happen for him and his son.
I WOULD want my baby nursed or given breast milk if something happened to me. I would want donors to be screened first, but formula would NOT be my first choice.
Also, formula is not sterile. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/110/4/833
During the manufacturing process, formula can be (and HAS been ) contaminated by chemicals and organisms.
Oh, how I want to snuggle this little guy and nurse him to his heart’s content (or his belly’s!).
I have such a supply of milk and am still nursing my 19 month-old, but i’m also taking a med that I know would keep me from donating. Praying for this!!!
Heartbreaking, and I was already having an emotional day…
I will definitely be praying for this baby and father. Do let us know if there are other things he needs.
Oh my goodness I’ll be passing this on. What a heartbreaking story. I do hope the love and kindness showed upon that family will be peaceful and healing.
Steph
Praying for this sweet baby & her family.
Just an FYI but I know when I had an excess of milk I went onto a milkshare forum through Yahoo. Its not as easy as just shipping the excess milk. There are guidelines to look at and testing that should be done on the person donating. So although the donations are fantastic, don’t jump the gun and ship your milk without looking at it further.
http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/donorscreening
http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com/shipping
Yes! A few of us are busy today working on exactly this!! Breastmilk for babies is wonderful, but there are lots of things we’ll be doing to make sure it’s all safe for him.
Thanks for the links!
Thank you Mckmama!
not lactating anymore but my bff is! but too far down here in ga! so sad about his mama~ praying that his breastmilk needs are met and comfort for the family during this difficult time. way to go girl! much love and blessings~ erin
Jennifer,
I’m assuming you’ve been in touch with Matt Logelin? Since he is a widowed dad himself, I was thinking he would be called to help and maybe the LLF would be able to help to? Just a suggestion- great thing you’re doing! I don’t have any milk, as my youngest is 5, but would be willing to donate money for other people to ship- keep us posted!
I see below that you already sent Matt a text.
I want to help!!! What is your e-mail address? I think after leaving this comment, you may have gotten my address. Please let me know what I can do.
never mind…found it!
I’m not sure if this organization would be helpful for that family, but thought I’d pass it on just in case (also MN ties):
http://thelizlogelinfoundation.org/about/
I would love to help. I just sent an e-mail to you to find out where I can send the milk. My heart is breaking for this family that I do not even know. Thank you for what you are doing to help them!
I want to help. I have not located your e-mail address yet. Can you please post it or e-mail me or anything. Thanks!!!
She gives her email address right within the post – just check it again.
I would donate $$ to this, but unfortunately have no milk left myself. My youngest is 2 1/2.
My heart breaks for this little boy and his Dad.
Liz
Bawling my eyes out, wishing I could help. I am 7 months pregnant and I know how important breastmilk is for babies. If anyone is looking to increase their milk supply, I know taking the herb called “Marshmallow” really helps. My sister is just taking 2 or 3 capsules a day while breastfeeding her daughter and she really notices a difference. My other friend did as well since she couldn’t nurse her son, but could pump up to 10oz at a time. Just a suggestion for anyone out there wanting to help. My prayers are definitely with this family.
you can also take fenugreek to help boost supply. I did that with DS #1 and was like a dairy cow I had so much!
Thank you!! My 7 month old is a snacker and still eats every 3-4 hours around the clock so when I squeeze in a pumping session I only get about 2 ounces total. But that might be good right now anyway since he’s such a tiny baby, 2 ounces might be all he eats. Sill hoping to boost my supply though so thank you both for the info.
I used Fenugreek as well with amazing results! Also, the more you pump or breastfeed, the more your supply goes up! I was producing 80+ ounces a day for a few months straight right before I decided to wean myself from pumping
DD is 17 months old and I still have milk in the freezer from January 
so sad. i just sent you an email. I am so glad about the response so far! lots of awesome people out there! My prayers are with the family.
I just posted on my birth board that has about 11,000 members. (some are non-active though) most of whom just had babies in August. I pray that just a fraction can help.
meant to say that I pray that EVEN just a fraction can help. Hopefully more. You know what I mean
I too am not a wife, or Mom… but this story is heartbreaking! If other stuff is needed, please let us know… I’d like to help in other ways. In the meantime, will pray for milk, and send good positive vibes!
I can’t help myself, but I will say many prayers and post on my FB in case my breastfeeding friends see this and are able to help.
My baby is 9 months old and I don’t know if my supply is high enough to pump but I could try…although I can’t afford to ship it so I’d need help with that if I got anything from pumping.
Either way, I will be praying for that sweet family.
I can’t even imagine the pain. . .but what a brave Dad! I have no milk to donate . . .my baby is 20 months and when I tried to pump for her I got out nothing. . . She however, can get out plenty. Will be praying for them and this awesome project you have committed too!
Mckmama,
I have a four month old little boy and quite a bit of milk frozen in the chest freezer downstairs and I pump every night before bed (my little guy sleeps 12 hours at night). I would certainly be interested in donating my milk but not sure I can afford to pay for the shipping or even how to go about getting it to you (I’m in Ohio). Please let me know what I need to do….I’ve been freezing milk since April so I know there’s quite a bit down there! Thanks!
Missy
How very sad for this baby and new father. . My heart is breaking for them. I sadly no loger have breast milk, but I am sending prayers.
What will you be doing to make sure the milk is disease/drug/nicotine free for this little baby? Do you have some sort of testing equipment at your home where it is to be sent and stored?
Please respond to this comment either directly, via email, or let me know soon that it will be addressed in an upcoming post.
While I think your intentions are noble, accepting and then giving breastmilk to a baby from internet strangers around the country is risky business if not properly screened. This is why milk banks and shares are so important.
If this question is not answered in the next hour in one of the ways as stated above, DCFS as well as the Minnesota State Health Department will be contacted.
It is important for a child to recieve breastmilk. It is also just as important as to make sure that breastmilk is safe.
I would think she is aware of what needs to be done. She mentioned going through all of the necessary steps to do this the right way. People can donate to milk banks and shares and ask that it be given to a specific family.
Didn’t you read the third comment? They are going to do everything they can to make sure the milk is safe for baby. Settle down.
I think it may be more appropriate for you to email McMama directly and maybe inform the proper people to take care of this instead of taking this into your own hands. If I were you and was that concerned about this situation, I would have already contacted the Health Department to have them take care of this. Don’t come on here and threaten somebody for trying to help. While I think it is dangerous as well and would never give my baby milk that has not been screened, I don’t think that you are the authority to make threats.
Did you seriously just give her a one hour time limit? I’m sure everyone appreciates your concern but you have got to be kidding me.
My post addressed this as well Melissa, but I think contacting the DCFS or Health Dept is just ridiculous. There is a family involved here that will be making the choices on whether or not to accept the milk (which I agree needs to be from screened donors), but a threat of contacting the authorities in an hour’s time is jumping the gun don’t you think? Do you really think the DCFS or Health Dept will care at this point? Its not like MckMama is stealing breastmilk from readers and forcing the child to drink it !
I agree that donors need to be screened and guidlelines met but lets not freak out and call the authorities.
Well stated, Sheila.
I have found that you get much better results in life when dealing with humans when you do not make threats.
Please let people exercise their rights! It’s HIS child, not yours. Or I’m going to call the authorities next time you bring your kids to McDonalds and feed them a Happy Meal.
I think this lady just wants to cause trouble if she has not milk keep your mouth shut we are trying to help mckmamma.
I have similar concerns as well. I’m sure Jennifer will research this before actually doing it, but I wish she would have researched it more and posted the laws/rules BEFORE this post.
Those criticizing Melissa, if a stranger on the street walked up to you and offered you their breast milk for your baby (let’s say you were feeding them formula), would you just take it and give it to them? Without knowing anything about them? I would accept it from a friend or someone I know very well, their habits, etc, but NEVER from strangers especially unscreened or someone I know nothing about. This does not seem safe to me.
I have done lots of researching and talking to people “in the know” today. There is a precedent for this kind of thing, as a matter of fact. Other communities have rallied around babies who needed breastmilk. I am thrilled that this blogging community wants to be one such community for this father and son! I am so proud to “know” all of you guys! There is no law or rule about taking breastmilk from a stranger or giving breastmilk to a stranger. None. I couldn’t have posted about “laws/rules” because there aren’t any.
Some of you may not do it, but this father wants to…and the mothers who are offering today want to. It’s a mutual, beautiful thing!! 
Wow…. are you really that upset that a man has asked lactating women to supply him with their extra breastmilk? I think it’s amazing!
The plan is not for me to test the milk at my place. I am willing to be the hub for milk to be dropped off at. And we’ll facilitate getting the milk to Baby M if that’s what’s needed, too! We’ll probably go through a milk bank or milk share program! And those who are far away…it might work best for them to donate to a mother in their own area, through a milk share organization. I have high hopes that we will not only help Baby M, but that we’ll also all gain awareness of how to (safely, of course!) donate our milk to other babies who need it! Great questions, thanks for asking. This isn’t something I’ve taken on before and I’m going to have a learning curve here for sure.
Are you serious?? Do you really think McMama would but this child’s life in danger? She is trying her best to help the father and his wishes! Go ahead and contact DFACS. I think they will probably laugh at you at this point!
There are children all over the world being “wet-nursed” or “drinking strangers” milk. It is the parents choice.
Thank you MckMama for stepping out and helping a family in “need”.
Wow, do you feel better about yourself having posted this? And the threats, really? Clearly, you’re not a mom.
I am breastfeeding and could pump to see if I could increase my supply and store some up to send your way. Just let me know the mailing instructions and I will start pumping to see if it will work. Thanks for letting us know!
I am forwarding this information to my friends and to our local MOPS coordinator, so it can be passed along to other young mothers. The more we get the word out about this need, the greater the chances of getting donations of breastmilk for baby M.
If I was able to, I would donate breastmilk without hesitating…..but that time of my life is far behind me.
It’s sooo heartbreaking…..and very difficult for us to understand why God allows such tragedies to happen. But we must trust that He is working out His good and perfect will, and pray that He will be glorified through this situation.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention, for organizing this effort, and for giving us the opportunity to minister to this family!
I’m emailing you. I have lots of milk, but I’m in Wisconsin (Madison-area). If someone can transport, I can provide the milk.
Erin
I will pass this on to the many lactating moms I know in Minnesota!
Jennifer – here’s a link for the Human Milk Bank of North America: http://www.hmbana.org/
While you are understandably moved and passionate about helping Baby M., there are health and safety issues involved in sharing human milk. Perhaps you can direct your donations through this lab or another to ensure the human milk shared is pure?
You have a noble goal in mind. Please contact this milk bank, LLL, or the like and find out what the best way to help would be. You’re talking about a lot of milk from a lot of different people and there are many issues to be taking into consideration.
I don’t have breast milk but would be willing to donate money for shipping or buying milk. Could you set up a donate button or something for some of us to help with shipping costs for those who do have milk to send?
Praying for the family. What a heartbreaking story.
Willing to help donate the cost of shipping fees for the milk being donated.
I agree with you…i can’t donate milk (mine dried up and I can’t even breastfeed my 7 week old) but I would love to be able to donate some money for shipping costs for some women!!
I’m still nursing my toddler and have a little bit of milk saved in the freezer. I don’t have the means to send it though
But if there is way for it to get there, PLEASE let me know and I would be happy to send what we have, and more.
I have a deep freezer full of breastmilk that I am pretty sure my one year old will not be drinking b/c he will not even take 1oz out of the bottle. I just don’t know how I would get it there…
I have been pumping since my son was born and he is now a year old! I am a cow…just produce way too much milk!
I’ve been reading other replies & I’ve seen many about shipping it Fedex in a refrigerated box with dry ice.
I think this all touches home with us moms, who have no doubt thought about what life for our kids would be like without us – and none of of can even fathom that reality. People find different means and different reasons for wanting to help certain people – God gave us those unique gifts for a reason. I think it’s AWESOME that this story has touched your heart so – and ever more awesome that you have an “audience” to help you in doing so. I will be praying for this family – and for all those rallying around them. I think what you’re doing is wonderful. The help from strangers is humbling, as you know all too well – but it’s part of God’s plan – in the midst of such sorrow – His beautiful, and perfect plan.
Yes, I don’t like any sad stories, but this one? God picked me up and literally MOVED me. I need to do this. It’s my calling right now. I know it.
Mckmama,
Is there anyway, with all of your connections, you can contact Michelle Duggar? I saw on the show several episodes ago that she had freezers and freezers full of milk that her Josie can not drink because she is lactose intolerant. I am not sure what she did with all of that milk, but she might have some that she could donate. She seems like a caring woman who, like yourself, would feel compelled to bless a family like this. I’m not breastfeeding anymore so I can’t help in that capacity, but could we set up some sort of donation site, maybe to help pay for the milk bank milk? I would donate, and spread the word for others to do the same.
She donated it to the NICU babies at the hospital.
That show was filmed back in April or May, before Josie was released the second time. And it was already donated.
Wish I could help, too. My heart is breaking for that family. God bless them…
hope lots of mommies will reach out!! Once I have my little one in Jan I can help too! I did help donate to the milk bank of iowa last time with my little one! My boobs are always making more than my little one needed! I hope I can help down the road!
I don’t know if you know about it, but you can go here and list the milk on the milk share forum also – http://milkshare.forumotion.com/forum.htm. It is how I found the families I donated milk to. There are always moms that are offering milk on there, and a lot of moms that browse it looking for a home for their milk.
My heart goes out to this family!!
This breaks my heart–and I wish I had breastmilk to give! I haven’t breastfed in almost 5 years so I don’t have any to give. I will be praying that you get enough to provide for a whole year–what a blessing that would be to her family.
I wish I could help, but my youngest is weaned. Definitely praying and please keep us updated.
Thank you for posting this. I am in the area and put up an article about the need last night: http://www.examiner.com/attachment-parenting-in-mankato/mankato-family-seeks-breastmilk-for-newborn-after-mother-dies
It’s such a heartbreaking story. I have also heard the family is also setting up a fund for the baby. I don’t know any more information. Please post if you find out more about that, as another way for us all to help this daddy and baby.
Seriously….if I was lactating, I would pump and send the liquid gold in dry ice. But my babe stopped breastfeeding a year ago.
I am so sad.
I have a good amount in my chest freezer…but live very far away!
you can send it! Look into it a little (like fedex) but i KNOW people send their breastmilk through the mail…in refrigerated boxes of some sort…)
Yes! We used to get some for our daughter! It came in boxes packed with DRY ICE. Expensive, but possible. And worth it if there’s a lot in the box, of course. I’m looking into it! There are also ways for far away moms to donate to moms in their area, too. I’ll share more soon!
You need to get a address and please do this for this baby M, he really needs this, you can ship the liquid gold to MckMama with dry ice.
I am with others wishing I could help. My heart is aching for this family. To be given a precious gift and then have one taken away. That family is definitely in my heart and prayers. What a great thing you are doing Jennifer rallying other mother’s to donate their breast milk. It’s too bad that Michelle Duggar couldn’t donate all the breast milk she pumped for little Josie considering Josie was allergic to it and ended up being formula fed. So breastfeeding mamas…please help this precious little babe.
She did donate it.
On a side note, I don’t understand why they didn’t have Michelle go dairy-free and still be able to pump/nurse Josie.
whether or not you consume dairy, your breatmilk still contains lactose, which is a sugar in milk.
Lactose intolerant babies CAN have pumped breastmilk. All that it needs is to have added lactase (the lactose digesting enzyme that lactose intolerant people lack).
Human milk is naturally much higher in lactose than cow’s milk, no matter what mom’s diet is.
Babies who are allergic to cow’s milk protein are the ones whose mothers have to change their diet. In this case, a mother’s pumped milk would have to be donated to someone else, but she could change her diet and still nurse her kid.
I don’t watch TV, so I have no idea if the baby in question had a dairy protein allergy or was lactose intolerant, but either way, yes, she could have still had mama milk.
Dear Lord, please comfort this new dad with your love and strength and provide milk for this new sweet baby who will never know its mother.
Why, oh why do things like this happen to such good people? My heart is broken as well and I wish there was something I could do. I’m far from the frozen tundra and my BM has long dried up, but I can pray and pray without ceaseing I will do!!!
God bless you MckMama for showing love and taking this innocent baby and father into your heart to help.
I am in PA
And could pump
Oh my goodness. I so wish I had breast milk of my own to give, but my oldest is 3. This makes my heart ache. I will spread the word and maybe someone I know or someone they know, etc. will be able to donate some. Thank you for posting about this and I will be in prayer for Baby M and his daddy.
I meant to say, “My youngest is 3″….sorry about that!
Oh no! I am in tears right now. I so wish I could help but I have long stopped BF’ing as have many pof my friends but I will spread the word. As someone else said, is there any way we can donate so milk can be purchased from a bank in the meantime?
I too though immediately of Matt Logelin. He might be a good reasource for this poor daddy. i am heart brokedn for all of them.
I would gladly donate some $ too go purchase milk from the bank!
Or maybe to help pay for shipping if someone far away wants to donate for free? That might be a better use, as milk bank milk has to be shipped, anyway. THANKS for the offer! I’ll keep you posted on our others needs. Still just figuring out how exactly to work all this.
It would be a really good idea to jump this story over to Matt Logelin’s site.
My littlest is two months old and I have a decent amount of milk stashed in my freezer from 1 week on (200 ounces maybe?) so it would be the perfect “age” for this little one. BUT I’m all the way down in Texas and our financial situation won’t allow us to ship the milk properly (I think the cost would be in the $100s). If you do get some donations to cover shipping cost, I would be more than willing to ship my milk, if someone could walk me through the shipping process. (I have donated through MilkShare before, but always locally.) You can contact me at averyandemily (at) sbcglobal (dot) net.
This is heartbreaking. I hope you get a lot of response.
I am heartbroken for this tiny new little family. I can not even begin to imagine.
A friend of mine recently had a baby and had a lot of trouble with her milk supply. In the months it took to get it rolling, she used http://milkshare.birthingforlife.com to get in touch with donors. She absolutely loved it.
I will be praying for them and for this mission! Go Lactating Ladies! What an opportunity to watch God work.
Sad that this husband lost his wife and the son his momma, but I feel the need to remind you that formula isn’t poison. His efforts would be better spent to put together a scrapbook of his mother… something he can see and have his entire life instead of the b milk which will be gone in the blink of an eye.
Certainly formula isn’t poison. However, trying to follow through on the mother’s wishes is probably one of the best ways the father and family can remember and honor her right now as well as part of the grieving process. I’m sure the scrapbook and other long lasting memories will be coming as well.
Kim, I’m right there with you.
When you lose someone close to you, there are certain things that become VERY important to you, whether they are logical or anyone else thinks they are important. It’s okay. If he wants to spend the next 2 years of his life searching for breastmilk for his baby, it’s okay. He is exhausted. He is in shock. He is not only grieving, but also trying to figure out exactly HOW to grieve. If this is what keeps him focused and also distracted from the harsh reality, then so be it. He needs something to keep him connected to his wife and this is the way he has chosen to go. Scrapbooking does NOT come easy. It’s been two years since we lost our 2 year old and I am still not ready to face the pictures. I know one day I want to, but not yet. What this man is doing isn’t hurting or bothering anyone. God be with him.
I was thinking the same thing…my baby is formula fed and she’s great. But I also see what people are saying about that being the mother’s wish.
Maybe we could set up 2 kinds of funds…one for shipping the breastmilk to help with the mother’s wish, and another just to give the father money to pay for daycare, baby sitting, etc. that he’ll need now.
the mother, if she would have stayed home, would have done that and if she would have worked, then suddenly their income has decreased. Either way, a fund to help with some fundamentals or just even if for a night nurse, would be helpful too!
Good idea!
I feel for the family… but my concern is with breast milk, you are dealing with a body fluid. Not to mention that it is of people you don’t know. It is a bio hazardous fluid. You don’t know what the women has or is putting into her system while she is producing it. It seems way more risky than just going with formula.
Obviously he knows it’s not poison; he’s giving his baby formula right now. That’s not the point (and I’m saying this as a mom who has bottle fed two healthy boys). The point is this is his desire and a way to honor his wife. We should all be supportive at this point, not judgmental.
There is a huge difference between formula and breast milk. My adopted daughter got so constipated on formula, every kind, the she would spit up much of her feeding while straining to eliminate. Donated breastmilk did wonders for her.
But the benefits from breastmilk that this baby receives will not be gone in a blink of an eye. They will last forever.
These are the days when I really wish I had the ability to help in such a capacity. I am furiously thinking of any of my trusted friends who might be able to help. In the meantime, is someone connecting this father with Matt Logelin? Oh man…I am not a wife, or a momma…but my heart just breaks for this father and son. Will pray for a rapid response for milk!
Yes, I am sending Matt a text as we speak….
I retweeted your tweet and linked to this post on facebook. My prayers go out to this family.
How do you ship it?
Good question!!
how do you do that, anytime I’ve gone to the post office they asked me if there’s any liquid or perishable product :s
DO NOT USE USPS.
You should ship it VIA UPS. When I shipped, I had to use a label for dry ice AND hazardous materials. With dry ice, I was able to ship 2 day instead of overnight and then it was far, far cheaper.
you just answer yes, and ship it packed with dry ice, frozen in storage bags, fast shipping. it’s expensive, it probably makes sense to get as much as possible local, or in large quantities at a time.
I think that’s only so that they can mark the package appropriately for extra caution. I don’t think they ask because it is prohibited. I too am wondering how it can be shipped. Dry ice would have to be used I assume..
You have to ship it on dry ice overnight I believe.
I, too, wish I could help. But it’s been many years since I stopped BF. Many prayers for this precious baby and her daddy.
Oh how I wish I could help but my youngest is 4.5 years old. this breaks my heart. I will say if you are trying to raisse your supply take fenugreek. take it until you smell like maple syrup. it is amazing how much it helps. praying for this family
If we cannot provide breastmilk is there something else we can do? Make a donation for bottles…SOMETHING! I’d love to help.
I am due in 6 weeks & will be breastfeeding this little one. My heart breaks for this newborn baby and new daddy! I only wish I lived close by so I could help as well! I will most definitely be praying for the family & for all the breast milk donors! What an honor it is to help those in need! Thank you for sharing!!
is there anything besides breastmilk we can help with?
Yes, I think so…working on those details. I will share more again soon! Bless you for asking!!
same here…I am not able to help with breastmilk, but if there is another way to help this baby and his daddy, count me in.
I’ll second that! Count me in! I’ll help in whatever way possible!
Me too! I have no breastmilk and live in Canada but would love to help in other ways.
Hey Jen:) Hope you’re well. I loved loved loved your last post. I left my 4 year old home alone this morning while I went to Target and it was sooo invigorating. (relax guys – I’m posting this here because I have to laugh a little when hearing a story that breaks my heart. Cry. Laugh at something totally unrelated to clear my head. Go back to heartbreak and pray pray pray!)
Back to the point, I love your heart, Jennifer! On the prior post and oh so much more on this one as well. I will pray for this family; who remind me already of Matt Logelin’s story:( Please, please share info on how we can help – those of us who aren’t able to donate breastmilk. Clothes? Anything at all the rest of us can do. When I first read Matt’s story, I remember thinking how awesome that he started an organization to help those like him and Maddie. My mom was left a widowed, single mom when I was 2 weeks shy of 3 years. She did it all alone and was the best mom I know:)
I’d love to know the options for additional assistance. Thank you for posting about this family. I feel so sad for this dad, though…
I’m not a wife or a mama, but I’m a nanny & know how important breastfeeding is. Is there any way us single girls could contribute some money to help get some from the milk bank if need be? Or to help with shipping/storage costs?
tears are in my eyes now as i read this post. there is a story similiar that happened here in michigan. http://www.miningjournal.net/page/content.detail/id/524498.html?nav=5006 what a POWERFUL thing for us, as women, to do. To help nurture and strengthen a young life. What a powerful way to help.
I can not see the screen through my tears. I so wish I could help. I finished nursing 2 years ago (after nursing 3 children exclusively -milk wise- for 12 months each)…so I have nothing left. My heart goes out to this family. It was so very important for me to nurse my children, so I understand this fathers wish. I will be praying.
Crying. So sad for the precious baby boy and his Daddy. So thankful people will come together and give him precious milk.
I just sent you an email. I’m in Austin, but please tell me how I can help. I have a bunch of excess milk I can donate!!!! If that’s not possible, I will gladly spread the word!
I can’t offer breastmilk but I can offer prayers, that God would provide so much breastmilk that you run out of space to store it! I will pray that that little baby M is provided for and that his daddy will feel the overwhelming love and peace of Jesus.
I wish I could help. May God bless and protect that little family.
I wish I could help and I hope everything turns out okay for the family.