Have you ever been tired? Tired of children, tired of macaroni and cheese, tired of diapers, tired of sore breasts, tired of crumbs on your floor, tired of being asked to be held, just plain tired of being tired? I have. Oh yes, I most certainly have.
If you are a mother, I’d venture to say you probably have, too.
I had an experience that moved me a few years ago, though. It was an evening I spent bathing my children that very literally revolutionized my perspective on mothering. Longing to tell you all about it, I shared a similar version of this post a while back. And now that we have a tiny, helpless, amazing, sweet, grunting newborn in the house again, living in the moment has risen back to the top of my priority list. I rewrote my post and share this version with you now, because I am more determined than ever this fifth time around to constantly remember that I’m gonna miss this. I long for that awareness for all mothers. You see, remembering that little truth, knowing that I am guaranteed to look back years from now and miss this arduous time mothering young children, is making these very first weeks of having a newborn some of the most precious days I have ever lived.
I hope that my thoughts here might speak to and encourage some other tired mothers out there. (And, to be honest, I’m posting it as much as a reminder for me as I am for you.) Here goes.
I am frequently asked, “How do you do it? How do you stay so calm with young children? I would go crazy with five so little!”
The answer? I’m not entirely sure. Part of it is just how God made me, I think. I have long felt that I was fashioned to be a mother. The Lord knew before the dawn of time that my husband and I would be blessed with five children within the span of five years. And while I certainly have my faults, many of which you are aware of as I am not afraid to blog about my failures and struggles, I will say that I am pretty calm with our children. Patience is something the Lord has blessed me with, and I am so thankful. Even though that is true, there are also times in my mothering when I stay calm in the midst of chaos because, frankly, it’s better than the alternative. You know, the whole I’m laughing just to keep myself from crying thing. Yeah, that. A shrieking mama going ballistic over a slammed door, spilled milk or baby woken from his nap by an older sibling is not going to make an already stressful situation any better for anyone concerned. So, for the most part, I stay calm, trying not to escalate any already challenging moments. And believe me, our family has plenty of them. For some time now, my focus has been on attempting to be in the moment with my children as much as I can. I don’t always succeed, yet that is always my goal.
But how did I get to be this way? To have this kind of perspective?
As I said, a beautiful bit of inspiration descended upon me almost two years ago. Right during bathtime. It was an inspiration which changed my parenting from that day forward. I’m not exaggerating or being facetious when I say that keeping this one little truth in mind makes it as easy as apple pie for me to stay calm. Yes even in the midst of toddler meltdowns, preschool tantrums, that afternoon we skipped naps and went to Target, and the much dreaded witching hour.
In times like those, I can stay calm, being grateful for my children even when things are stressful, because I remember that I’m gonna miss this.
Let me start at the beginning. It was dark out, I was wrapping up bathtime, and my husband was still at work. I was doing dinner, baths and bedtime myself those days. I can’t be entirely certain, but I’m sure it had been a long day with the kids. Most of the days were. Come to think of it, they still are. At that time, our oldest little guy was three, our second son was one and a half and our baby girl was a newborn. It is as clear as day still, this bathtime memory.
I was sitting on the toilet, hunched over the tub, preparing to get MckNugget out of the bath, sweating. Warm water and many warm bodies made our tiny bathroom, well, warm. Small Fry, too young to bathe with her brothers, was sprawled on the floor of the bathroom perched atop some towels that were possibly clean. And possibly not. She was sporting nothing but a diaper and a grimace. Big Mac was still in the tub; I hadn’t washed his hair yet. He was squawking to get out, saying something about the water no longer being warm enough, and Small Fry was bellyaching for attention. Or milk. You know, normal newborn stuff. For a litany of reasons, not the least of which was my utter fatigue, bathtime needed to come to a close. Pajamas were waiting; my pillow was audibly calling my name. I lifted Nuggey up out of the tub and wrapped my drenched second born in his green, hooded dinosaur towel. There was no sense getting worked up, at least on the outside. So I determined to stay calm and cuddled him in terrycloth while his siblings continued to whimper and whine. I slowly rocked him back and forth in my arms and sang Rock-a-bye Baby to my clean toddler. It was a routine, singing that song after I got our children out of the bath. We did it every night. One time through the song for each child.
As I wrapped up the song, I prepared to sit Nuggey up and attend to the deafening chaos that was the other children. After all, there was another boy to finish washing, teeth to brush, an empty belly to fill with breastmilk, diapers to find, jammies to slip on and beds to tuck children into. But as he sensed me about to right him, Nuggey tossed his wet head back into the crook of my arm and looked up at me, his forehead still glistening with bath water, some residual bubbles in his hair. “Uh-gain!” he squealed, his eyes twinkling.
Like the good mother I tried to be, I sang Rock-a-bye Baby one more time, but I told him firmly that it would most certainly be the last. My blood pressure was rising as the heat and noise continued to permeate the bathroom. Our other two children were giving no signs of calming down, and I was tired. Not only did I not want to sing any more, I was fairly certainly I physically couldn’t. Yet when I finished singing the second time around, Nuggey begged in his sweet, young voice once again for more.
I didn’t want to do more. My desire to be with my children at that point could definitely have been measured in the negative. As in, below zero. Less than no desire. I didn’t want to sing to him one more time. I was tired. Tired of children, tired of singing, tired of bubbles, tired of voices, tired of being awake, tired of diapers, tired of…well, you get the idea. Lengthening the day with any more singing was the last thing I wanted to do. But then suddenly, it was as if supernatural fairy dust was sprinkled from the heavens directly onto my head. A crystal clear glimpse of my very own future spread out before me.
All at once I knew that I was gonna miss this.
I was looking down at little Nuggey when this vision of sorts appeared to me. My son’s damp eyelashes, beautiful, long and dark, were batting at me. His tiny bottom was cradled in my hand, his soft, chubby legs thrown over my arm, his dinosaur toweled body entirely dependent on the strength of my tired arms as I held him in my lap. Yes, suddenly I could see my future. I was still sitting on the edge of the toilet, looking towards the open bathroom door. Nuggey, now a grown young man sporting a football jersey and facial hair, walked past the doorway down the hall, smelling of cologne and talking on his cell phone, waving at me as he walked by. It was going to happen. And soon. While I firmly believe that joys I won’t expect will also arrive when that time in my life comes, when our young children are teenagers and beyond, it still struck me like a ton of bricks. It was frightening, overwhelming and a bit horrific to me as a young mother. Tears began to fill my tired eyes.
I knew that when my children were grown, I was gonna miss this.
When Nuggey (or Big Mac or Stellan or baby Flurry or our sweet Small Fry) comes home from college, gives me a high five, asks for some money and then hibernates in his bedroom all summer listening to music, I’m gonna miss this. With that sprinkle of fairy dust, my future was shown to me in fast forward that evening. I was given the insight that my older self would give anything for 20 year old Nuggey to be a toddler again. Even if for just for one hour, heck even one minute, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would love to rock him, sing and stroke his wet hair. But I won’t be able to. Once our children are grown, they are grown. There is no going back to toddlerhood, not for a day. Or an hour. Or a minute. I will have to be content with my adult children. I’m sure I will be and will look forward with much joy to grandchildren and beyond. But I am still positive that I’m gonna miss this.
And that night in the bathroom, years before the future I could clearly see even took place, I was being given my wish. Miraculously, I was able to rock Nuggey, a nearly helpless babe in arms, one more time. And then another time after that. And yet another. My world turned upside down as I began to see that the life I am living right now, the endless days that give me bags under my eyes and pounding headaches, are a dream come true. I am living a granted wish in reverse, and I finally realized it.
Given a breathtaking new perspective from which to see, I wiped the tears from my eyes and sang Rock-a-bye Baby as many times as Nuggey would let me that night. I lost count. As I rocked him, hot tears fell from my eyes onto the dinosaur towel. Eventually Small Fry found her hands and started admiring them. Or maybe she got one of her fingers into her mouth and started sucking it like MckFlurry often does these days. Big Mac grabbed a new tub toy and started splashing away, singing the ABC’s to himself. And more intensely than I ever had before, I relished that time with Nuggey in my arms. The love I felt for him at that moment, the gratefulness that he was still little, still with me, was so intense that it hurt. For now I knew then that soon enough he would be all grown and my arms would ache to hold him like a baby again. Even once.
Indeed, I’m gonna miss this.
My mind cannot help, now that I think about that evening again, but wander to those parents who have buried children. I have known friends who have experienced loss and have read blogs chronicling grief. Is there anything on earth those dear parents would not give to hold their children again, even for a moment!? In a million, trillion years they would not complain to themselves about having to sing Rock-a-bye Baby one more time, or losing sleep, or fingerprints on the glass, or peanut butter in their hair. Rather, I imagine mothers who have lost children would give their right arm and their left to be able to sit with their child and sing Rock-a-bye Baby until their voice was hoarse, their eyelids closing in slumber.
And women with empty wombs who pray and ache for children, yet remain with longing arms? What honor am I doing them if I take for granted the fact that I have children, healthy young children who are begging me to cuddle them, sing to them, build train tracks with them, come look at what they drew and listen to their jokes? For myself and those women who long for their own children, I decided that night to love my babies, not taking them for granted. To sing to them when they ask. And clean up their Cheerios without grumbling. Even to tuck them in for the seventh time in one night. Or seventeenth.
Right there and then, sweaty as I sat on the edge of the toilet in the bathroom that night not so long ago, I vowed to try my best to be ever thankful for the moments I do have with my children. Oh Lord, help me not wish away their young years, always hoping to get more laundry done or other children dried off. I desire to not live my mornings only for the hope of naptime, my afternoons with just bedtime in mind. I will relish each kiss, hug and song; I’ll let dishes pile up because I was asked to play Chutes and Ladders. I will teach our little ones to pick up their toys, even if it takes months of reminders. By wiping bottoms, telling the story of Jonah and the whale just one more time, smelling MckFlurry’s newborn head, kissing booboos (even pretend ones) and playing house, I will leave their childhood behind with no regrets. For I desire that no “I love you” is left unsaid, no cheek remains unkissed, no request to “Cuddle wif’ me!” will ever be turned down and no child awakened by a thunderstorm will be turned away from our bed. Even as the fish sticks with tartar sauce fly and the Sharpie stains our kitchen table, when there are 3 am blowouts and caked Desitin under my fingernails, as I am awakened every three hours around the clock to nurse our newborn and my body carries around more baby weight than I fear I’ll ever be able to get rid of, I know now that…
…I’m gonna miss this.
How true and how beautiful written, I too experienced the same thing when my boys were young. I spent as much time as I could doing things with them, and who said Mom’s don’t have much in common with their boys? I would camp hike mountain bike, and in their teen years go to look at rims and tires,exhausts,and parts at junk yards for their second hand cars. Topping it off with a trip to the daytona 500, show an interest in what they are doing sports whatever,it pays off. I spent a great deal of time with my kids while they were growing up, my husband and I would always be ridiculed for taking them on trips with us,”why don’t you leave them home?” was the question. My reply was always the same they need a vacation too.With all that said,you never have enough time and now a days they are put into the care of others at such a young age,hold on to them as long as you can,you will never get enough, and some day you will miss this. My boys are now 30 & 33 I have been blessed they are wonderful and we have an amazing relationship with them.Maybe now I’ll fold the clothes on the spear bed ,join a yoga group, play tennis, no think I’d just rather babysit it’s like having a second chance to enjoy what really matters in life family.Good Luck to all you young mothers,it can be tough but you’ll never find another job so rewarding. Barbara
What an awesome message. As a mom of a 4 year old and 2 month old this helps put things in perspective. Thanks for this powerful reminder.
Just beautiful!Thanks for sharing your story!
I couldn’t have said it better if I had written it myself! Right on! :’(
Thank you so much for sharing this. It was just what I needed this morning, and it literally brought tears to my eyes. There are times when well..I just feel plain “tired. As a SAHM homeschooling of 4 children, ages 11, almost 9, 4 and almost 2. Life is demanding. I wrote a poem called the Joy of Being a Mother that shares the message of cherishing those moments. Yet so often, amongst the busyness of life it can be easy to forget to slow down and do so. Thank you so much for the sweet reminder. I am blessed beyond measure and I want to treasure every moment.
Thank You for sharing this!! You have truly Blessed my Day!
I finally read this today after bookmarking it a while ago.
Today was that day for me with my 5y.o, 2.5y.o, and 5month old…and I lost it and yelled and screamed and had that temper tantrum, and this post has slapped me right in the face as a wake up and reminds me that yes! I am going to miss this.
THANK YOU.
I just came over from LAF to read this, and I’m sitting here in tears.
I have three little ones – barely four, barely two, and 3 1/2 months. My husband (a soldier) has been gone since the littlest was 5 weeks old, and part one of your bathtime story hit too close to home. Just tonight I was thinking how sad it is that I’ve come to dislike the bath and bed routine so much.
Thank you so much for the reminder that this is a short season and I WILL MISS THIS. I’m struggling against the urge to go back to my oldest two for more snuggles and singing, but they’re already asleep. Tomorrow will be a different day.
Bless you. This was the perfect moment for me to read this.
I have four kids 7, 5, 2 1/2(!) and 4 months and my hubby has been hunting for a week. I. Needed. To. Read. This. Thank you- please know this ministered to me deeply this morning… As I sit here breastfeeding well past thirty minutes. Your writing made me pause- reconsider my fixation on meals and homeschooling and the extra pounds and my bags under my eyes. I’m gonna play high ho the cherrio today for sure. God bless you McMama.
Wow! Thanks for such a wonderful reminder! It has come to mind many times during the past few days when I didn’t think I could handle another moment of chaos. This post will powerfully change many mama’s outlook!
you have other posts that I could write and say that stuck out to me. Or pulled at my heart strings. but none as strongly as that one.
Thank you! somtimes I need to remember that I AM going to miss this.
If there is any post that sticks out to me – this is the one. (well the oringal one) I can honestly say there are so many times that I remember your post, and stop and change how I am acting/responding/ignoring my children.
My youngest (age 2) has a routine after bath time that started when she was a baby. She has to be wrapped up in a towel and cuddled (even as young as 14 months she would FIGHT us getting her jammies on – but only if I was trying to put it on after a bath, w/o cuddling. If we didn’t do bath time and just pj’s she was fine. If we cuddled for 5 mins, THEN did pj’sshe was fine). She does the same if we have a bath during the day, she wouldn’t get her clothes on.
But I have 4 kids, 6,5,5 and 2. And when I do bath time for 4 kids I just want to bathe them – and then move on. but it never fails. The 2yo has to have the cuddle, naked, in her bath towel. And I have gotten so frustrated. But the minute I do. I am reminded of that post you wrote awhile back. And I think there is going to be a time, maybe next week, next month or next year. But she isn’t going to want to hang out naked in a towel cuddling with me. So that is it, we have our cuddle time. Sometimes I have her older brother (age 6) with cuddle with her if I am trying to make dinner or something, and it melts me heart to see them cuddling too. and he likes it and will often ask if he could cuddle with her. And sometimes she will let him, but most of the time she wants her mommy.
two days ago I was on the computer catching up on blogs (we’ve been camping for the last weeks so I am really behind. lol). and the youngest 3 were having for thier nap. and my oldest son was in the living room playing his ds. And he came in and asked me if I would play mini games with him on the ds. I told him no. that I was busy on the computer, and did the famous “maybe later” knowing that there probably wouldn’t be a later. But the second he left the room. This post (the oringal) popped into my mind again. I knew there was going to be a time when he wouldn’t want to play with mom.
So I finished off the post I was reading and went and we spent the next hour and half, playing and laughing with each other. And that was special.
That was only 2 examples. but there are other times when I have said no because 1. I didn’t want toor 2. I was tired or 3. I’ve just done it and don’t want to do it again. And have cought myself and am reminded of that post. I have even shared your story with friends and my husband when they have been frustrated with the kids.
Thank you for this. I had children at the toddler and teenagers stage. These baby times are so precious but I’m also realising that the teenager time is special in a very different way. There won’t be many years before they have left home and there will be no late evening discussions and sitting round the table talking.
Hope you don’t mind but I’ve posted a link on my blog.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I was crying the whole time because I have three little ones including a newborn and I can relate to the tired mama and “please Mommy, can you read it again?” I thank God for this message, I’ll never, God help me to never reject these special moments because me too, I’m gonna miss this. Can I post this in my blog?
Absolutely beautifully written. Thanks for sharing. Children are a gift from the Lord and you just surely illustrated that to many. Keep up the good work. I will pray God will keep blessing your writing and life. I have been a long time reader (on and off) and but never comment. You are the kind of person that I wish lived next door to me- that kind of friend- know what I mean? One you don’t make plans with, you just sort of drift in and out of each other’s daily life? I only have 3 kiddos and your family makes me ache for more. You are blessed.
Came across this via LAF. I put in my own two cents on my blog with a link back here so my visitors could be as blessed as I was. ‘And this, too, shall pass’ has always been my motto – you explain this better than I’ve ever heard. Thanks for sharing.
Jenny
http://mymarriageismyjob.blogspot.com/2010/08/she-explains-this-so-well.html
Thank you so much for that. That post was the culmination of the whispers of God to my heart recently. He used you to say exactly what He has been wanting me to understand. I cried the entire way through, because I have been thinking sooooo many of the same thoughts lately. That I’m gonna miss all this and I didn’t even allow myself to live it while I had the chance!!!! THANK YOU!!!
Thank you so much! My oldest just turned 2 yrs, and I have a 6-month old, and I am already missing it!!!
WOW. A friend of mine sent me a link to this today. The Lord mus thave had something to do with it. I have never been to your blog before. This post is exactly how I feel most of the time. Lately I have been bogged down with home school, and mom life. I needed this reminder as much as I have ever needed anything!
Mckmama,
I wanted to thank you for the honest encouragement you share on your blog. My friend is a new mother and is this past week has struggled emensly with trying to do it all. She doenst have a mother mentor in her life, and tonight after we had some Jesus time she read your post about missing the little things of motherhood and she was so touched, hummbled and encouraged. So thank you. if you want to read her post I have linked it below.
God Bless,
Manda
http://philippians4-12-13.blogspot.com/
This was an AMAZING read yesterday; I even sent the link to my husband. But I have to admit that I quickly forgot all that was said once the kids woke up from their naps.
Then this morning, when my Type-A self was getting overwhelmed in the chaotic morning rush, my husband reminded me, “You’re gonna miss this.” And my day has been amazing ever since.
Your story truly gave me a new perspective today and I hope these are feelings that I won’t soon forget.
Thank you.
Thanks so much for this post. It is so well written and perfect for me to read at this moment of this day! I am crying so much I am having trouble seeing the computer screen! I have had the thought “I am going to miss this” a lot lately, and I really like how you put it all into words! Thanks!
Thank You.
Simply…thanks!
My husband and I lost our firstborn son after just 2 short days, and I wanted to say thank you for cherishing the time you have with your beautiful children. I would give anything (left and right arms) to have one more minute with my child, and it hurts when people are too tired, too stressed, too busy to remember the little miracles they have.
thanks! I sure needed that. My three kids have been up since 445 this morning, I am six months pregnant and still not sleeping well through the night myself, my husband won’t get home until long after the kids should be asleep, and I am just worn out. I found myself just a few minutes earlier yelling at the kids for spilled juice. And so frustrated with myself. Now I have had a good cry, a cuddle on the couch with my loves and we are on a better foot!
Your well put thoughts have utterly clarified for me the foggy half-realizations that have been dancing about my head for the past five months. I am a recently married 21 year old with a wonderful honeymoon baby who has utterly taken over my life and made me dizzy with the adjustment to motherhood. 5 months is not that long of a time, and one baby is not as much work as three (or five!), but I am so thankful that I was blessed with this realization this early. Thank you for causing me to sit and weep as I realized just how utterly blessed I am and how glorious each diaper change, each spoonful of applesauce scraped of a cooing chin and each tired night truly is. I will not forget that I too will miss this one day.
This was SO UNBELIEVABLY beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! http://www.ordinaryinspiraitons.blogspot.com
Love,
Traci
A friend of mine forwarded me the link to this today. I’m very happy she did. I was having one of those days where I just didn’t feel like being mommy today so to speak. I was trying to clean and rearrange things and my little boy kept “helping”. I’m sure other mamas out there know that when little ones try to “help” it can turn out messier than before. Anyways, I know that one day I will miss this. We are potty training right now and I know that I will miss “mama, I gotta go potty”, “let me help”, “why?”, and all the other stuff that tends to come out of the mouths of babes. In short just Thank You.
I’ve never posted before. Just wanted to stay thank you. I too am a busy, often impatient mom who often feels stretched thin. I needed to read this and I will again soon I’m sure.
My youngest will be 17 next week. I try to remind young mothers to cherish each moment. I think one of the saddest things about mothering is that there will be a last time for everything–the last time you sing rock-a-bye baby, the last time you rock your little one to sleep, the last time he crawls into bed with you in the middle of the night. The sad part is that important moment will come and you won’t know it. You will treat it like every other time or even wish it away because you are tired or distracted. Treat every moment like it’s the last.
I’ve thought about this post often, ever since you first posted it. My one and only, a boy, just turned 2 (how that happened so quickly, I’ll never know….) And on tough days, when he sits on my lap after a bath and I can rock him and sing to him, I think about this.
Thank you. I intend to share this with every parent i know… after i wipe my eyes, and go watch my children climb trees in the sun…
Thank you so very much for this post. I have only three. Boys. The eldest of whom is three and a half. I just said to my husband this morning that I am so tired of living the same day – Groundhog’s Day style – over and over. Diapers, potty, dishes, laundry, meals, whining, trains, toys, carseats, playgrounds, crumbs, nursing, no sleep…I’m just plain tired. But I know that they are precious gifts from God. I don’t mean to grumble about the job He has me doing at this point in my life. In my 32 years of singleness, this was all I ever wanted. Now it’s here and what am I doing? I’m complaining. I do make every effort to live in the moment with my little guys and recognize that this is just a rough week, but goodness did I need to read this right now. Thank you!
I needed this today. I relish these years with our children, but today was one of those “pull your hair out and try not to scream” days. Thank you for posting this….as I wipe the tears off of my face…
That was beautiful, inspiring and totally what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Ok, I have to stop reading the comments or I will need a bucket to catch the tears! Great, great post and thanks for remind me that I too am gonna miss this AND I do miss this. My youngest is 8, my son is 16 and my oldest daughter is 19. How I long to hold my two oldest in my arms again and hear their giggles. I still hold my youngest and try to make the most of every moment with her because I am reminded everyday of how fast time flies when I ask my two oldest if they would like to spend some time together, and they reply, “Not now mom.” But every moment I’m lucky capture with them (usually grudgingly) is a treasure.
Thank you for sharing, your words are so very true, I do miss those very precious moments! I love reading your blog, this one made me cry. My kids are 20 and 22, they’re all grown up now, I adore them still, they are such precious gifts!
Amen. Amen. Amen.
Thank you. This is what I needed to read today.
Thank you for reminding me of all the reasons I should always want to be with my children, completely with them, when we are together…I always try very hard to be fully “present” when we are together (since I work outside the home and have limited time with them). Nicely written!!!
You always seem to know exactly what to post when I need it.
Thank you. (Because I know you do it for me and all.
)
Liz
Loving This Mom Stuff
That was just amazing and well said.Thankyou for the reminder of what us mom’s are called to do I so needed this! God bless you…
amen..I am now on the other side of what you so eloquently spoke about, and let me confirm that not only “will you miss this”..but you will also feel lost without those hectic,long days,… and you will long for one more minute of the chaos you onced wished would go away..
I too had my hands full..four under five, and then a fifth four years later.
I remember on more than one occasion asking myself ” and this is the life you longed for”..I was crazy busy, crazy exhausted, and Crazy stressed..But if i had known then what i know now..( that they grow up over night)..I too would have savored every last second of those crazy times…
I am lost without my title as “mom to five babies”..and there are days that I think my life has ended. I don’t enjoy where I am now, and those feelings are only compounded with the dreaded “menopause” and now barren years. I am not writing this “to bring you down” but only to encourage you to keep doing all you are doing. Capture each and every moment of each LONG day..smile when you want to cry, hug went you want to be alone, and ignore the mess and chaos..it will be gone in a flash..
If i could trade places with you for one day, I would.I miss that time of my life in a way that words can not describe. I am lonely and lost without my once cherished title..”mom to five babies”
Hug and kiss them all for me today…
Judy
This post really got to me today…as my youngest of 6 is getting ready to start kindergarten this year and my oldest is a senior in high school where has time gone…I want to freeze time and keep them here at home with me…I love watching them grow and being with them but I will miss them when they are gone….enjoy the moments you have with them while they are little because they go fast….you have a great family
I love this story. I need reminders every so often not to live my life in fast forward. I was driving down the highway one day and just realized that’s not how I want to do it. So, although every once in a while I turn down the invitation to cuddle at bed time, it’s nice to have this reminder and, not only that, but the idea of having a teenager scares the mess out of me – so I’ll cherish this because at least right now they’ll let me n on some of the decisions.
Thanks MckMama for sharing your life with us – the good, the bed and the ugly. My life is better because of it.
Joy
I am so touched by this post and awakened. I get so busy that I forget to cherish those moments. I am going to try to carry that with me from now and remember that this is a tough time but they are only little once.
Thank you for this…so timely for me. My twins are six weeks old now and my son almost three. I am soooooooooo tired and feel like I am just going from one task to the next and not giving myself a moment to enjoy my newborn miracles. This was a perfect reminder for me to enjoy the moments as they will never be at this stage again. As hard as it is and what I wouldn’t give for even a 3 or 4 hour stretch of sleep, I will do my best to savor each second. Thank you.
My little girl will be 5 on Sunday and heading off to Kindergarten on Monday… she wants to go so badly, I can’t really be sad, but every now and again thinking about it, I’ve felt those pinprick tears in my eyes… Oldest will be 11 next month — so much time has slipped away with me fretting about things that didn’t matter (first husband had bipolar so I was always stressed out for years and probably depressed to boot)… anyway, now my new husband keeps telling me to calm down – no one died and to just accept what is (like 7 cavities in my daughters teeth last week at her check up). I was freaking this morning about it and he says “What’s done is done” and made me realize again we can only change the future not the past. I did take my two to the park today (so often I’ve said I would but never got around to it, despite the park only being a couple blocks away). I got on the tire swing with my son — first time I’d done that ever, I think … and it was nice to have that moment together. Thanks for the reminder that I need to treasure them more….
Thank you for this sister! This post was straight from above for me tonight, thanks for letting Him use you;).
Love, Sarah
Of all your posts I have read, this is the one that has made me smile and cry at the same time! I have longed to be a mother for so long (and still have that wish) and I often think of the kind of mother I will be, or what I will think when I am a mother. I often have a hard time reading a blog of someone with babies; but yours is easier for me. I think it’s just that so many things that are in your blog are what I have imagined myself doing/saying when I have kids. I just hope that everyone out there who has kids will take the time to realize that they are “gonna miss this” — some of us may never have that chance. I hope one day to have children and hope that I can be the mother that you seem to be; thanks for your inspiration!
Thank you for this. I needed it. Tonite I chanted: “I’m gonna miss this” over and over in my head to remind myself to enjoy listening to my precious 4 year old “read” me a story…. instead of freaking out the damage I noticed mid-story that the dog had done to the mini-blinds! Yikes! but that can wait until after storytime. Glad I’d read this post earlier, I normally would’ve freaked out and totally ruined that moment with my child. Thanks.
I loved this the first time you posted it, and I love it now. It’s a great reminder.
Beautiful vision friend! I had many small children at once too.
Now, my oldest is that studmuff you saw walking by your bathroom door in a jersey talking on his cell (and 20 years old)!
My girls are in high school, one a senior and the other a sophomore!
I remember being so tired I could snap…..but God, God always made a way for me to love and cherish each moment.
My relationship with them now….is a reflection of the sweet investment that hubby and I made as parents. I’m STILL madly in love with them even more than I was when they were precious little chubby munchkins!
Time flies…..YOU WILL MISS THIS!!!
I’ve been there…….4 babies in 5 years. Now they are 16, 17, 20 and 21. I loved the years of them “being little”, but let me tell ya, all the work pays off when the become teenagers. There is nothing like watching those children that you poured your life into when they were little, become people of their own. There have been plenty of tough times, but I continue to be amazed that my ittle babies have turned into young adults who are “taking on the world” in their own way. It is amazing and makes me so proud of them. Love every moment……..they are all great!!!
Thank you for writing this post. It’s beautiful. I’m pregnant with my first and I’m so glad I read this now, so that I will (hopefully) not waste a moment with my precious baby boy and his future brothers and/or sisters. And yeah, I’m already worried about how fast he’s going to grow up.
ok, the tears are flowing! thank you thank you thank you..i could say thousand times. thank you God for His divine timing..thank you MckMama for you honesty. I needed to hear your words of wisdom and encouragement. I often get all nutty with the stress and tiredness of raising a toddler, but after reading this post, oh my word, it makes me want to wake up my little one and just hold her and kiss her over and over again.
This has been my motto since my son was born a few months ago! I know I’ll never regret cuddling him a little longer, playing with him, giving him another kiss, etc. Thanks for sharing this. We all need this reminder to cherish and embrace the moment!
Great post! You have got to read the book Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury. My mom always tells me when I get frustrated that I will miss these days…and I know I will.
Beautifully put! Thanks for re-posting this.
Thank you, I needed this today. My daughter is 14, and it has been a looooong summer with her teenage attitude. My boys are 11 and 17; and have been trying my nerves as well. I know this is just a season, and it too will come to an end. I tend to forget that in the mist of the chaos!
Seems like yesterday they were tiny like you kiddos!
Reminds me of this song-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIBediEAcUQ
Funny, I just wrote a post the other day tittled Your Gonna Miss This. Although you said it so much more beautifully than I did.
I think about it at night when I am so tired that I don’t think I can read a bed time story. I end up reading that story everytime. Thanks for posing this!
I have had similar experiences like this. I am constantly reminded that this to SHALL pass. Just what I needed to remind myself of tonight!
You are so right . . . I am a mom of a 20 yo and I so wish I could have my toddler for just a few minutes! He’s a great young man and he’s always happy to give his mom a hug . . . but there is nothing like those early years. I do miss it!
What a good reminder for mom’s of young children (and older ones too). You have such a way with your words….I wish you would consider writing a book
I have tried really hard to never say no when my almost 4 year old says “Mom, please hold me” even when he’s being a little whiny. I am trying to let go of some of my perfectionism in terms of how clean my house is or how many of my “to-do” items I’ve checked off so I can truly be involved (and not just in the same room) with my kids. This time is so precious and I don’t want to take a moment of it for granted.
Thanks for the gentle reminder! I love this post!!
Tara
THank you for writing this- I can COMPLETELY relate! You spoke right to my heart. I’m going to remember this post for sure- you’re a wonderful writer.
Lisa @ http://www.itstheshepherds.blogspot.com and http://www.foodtidings.com
As I was sitting down to read this and had just gotten my kiddos to play outside my 2 year old came up to me and said “hold me.” I said, “in a minute, go play.” I’m about to get off the computer and go hold her. Thanks.
*like*
This is makes me cry every time! I printed the first one that you posted and it still resides on our refrigerator. I can’t believe my youngest is TWO already! I’m gonna miss the baby years.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this today. I needed it more today than ever. Thank you again.
Thanks for that..I needed to be reminded of that today. My husband is overseas and I have two sick kids that have allowed me to maybe get 3 hours of sleep a night, and I caught myself just going through the motions that last day or so…just trying to get through the day. After I read this, I sat down and spent some good quality time with my oldest while the other two were sleeping. I do cherish the early years, but man am I tired!!!
I read your website often but I have never posted before but after reading this post, I know that God lead me to read it today. I had a rough morning and yelled at my oldest about him needing to be more responsible and I made him cry. I felt bad but the frustration sometimes over take me. I feel after reading this post I am going to make a renewed promise to myself to take each day slow and be more patient because my boys are 6 and almost 9 and I already miss the past 9 and 6 years. Time is flying thank you for reminding me of that.
I have often been reminded of this post of yours in those moments that I wish would rush by until I remember that one day I’ll miss them.
I really needed this. As I wipe away my tears and run to chase my wee ones for more kisses, I thank you for once again giving me a better perspective…inspiration at its finest.
…. And I do miss this, mine are all but grown now, time is moving very quickly! It is very overwhelming.
That was beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it. I’m pregnant with my first, who was dreamed of for so very very long. And now this baby is real, and on his/her way to me at last. I feel so blessed, and I pray I can recognize/remember the blessing, even when the days and nights are long.
big time tears
What a great reminder when summer is coming to a close for us and my children who are at each others throats are driving me crazy and I am TIRED of providing constant entertainment. I am so determined to enjoy every day of these last two weeks before a brand new school year begins! Thanks Jennifer for making me feel calm and inspired! I have not been blessed with patience like you, but I am definately in the ‘laugh instead of cry’ mode!
Off to kiss my kiddos, build lego and make bracelets. Have a great day!
The last time you posted this (or something similar to it) I was just shy of giving birth to my second child, and I commented that when the sleepless nights got overwhelming, etc. etc. I would remember this post and try to remember “I’m gonna miss this” I say with great regret, that I haven’t really kept that “promise.” More often then not, I’ve lost my temper, more often then not, I said, “No more!”, more often then not I’ve done the negative, more so then the positive. Yet again, thispost made me tear, made me realize I need to do better to remember, “I’m gonna miss this!” And HOPEFULLY, this time, I actually stick to it! I try to remind myself often that there are parents out there that would trade places with me in a heartbeat to have their child back because they their in Heaven, or women who would trade places with me because they can’t have children. It’s not that I take for granted that I’m a mother, okay, or maybe I do. I REALLY need to work on this! THank you again for the reminder!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but have never commented.
This post brought me to tears. Thank you for writing it. I have 2 children. A 3 year old and a 9 month old. Sometimes I really feel like I can’t go on. I wonder if I do in fact want to have 2 more. I don’t have time for all the things in a day.
You are absolutely right. I am gonna say that phrase to myself often. I’m gonna miss this. Those things that I wish would be over, wishing for bedtime, which I do almost every night. I do sometimes say no to snuggles because it is already past bedtime. I’m gonna stop that because I will miss it. Whatever is waiting for me, can wait longer while I snuggle my babies.
Thank you!
This has nothing to do with your post but I wanted to tell you something. My 15 year old daughter had an ablation yesterday and praise God it worked. She is free of SVT! We are so thankful and blessed that God heard her prayer to be free of the SVT. The doctor said she had Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome. She is so happy. We have been following you for a long time now and she was always encouraged by the doctors ridding Stellan of SVT. Blessings to you and your family.
That is just glorious!
I have a reminder of this same thing every time I see my oldest. He is almost 20! My youngest is 4.
I knew when the last time I would ever nurse my now 4yo was-I nursed him until he fell asleep and just cried. The next day I had to start taking medicine that would keep me from nursing. He was 18 months old at the time so I knew it wasn’t the end of the world. It just seemed so final though. THIS IS IT-its over.
with the big age gaps between my kids I know what is coming and what passed by-with each child I have held on a little longer to each passing stage. Trying to hold on to every piece. They keep growing up though
Thank you for this. I certainly needed to hear this perspective. After all, that’s what we moms do for each other….encourage!
I have followed you quite regularly for quite a while now, but never commented before. I sit here in tears after having read your post because it is entirely true. My days are filled with 6 year old twins and a 9 month old baby and as much as I want to cherish every minute, I find myself often watching the clock for bedtime most days. So THANK YOU I so desperately needed this reminder that my babies won’t be babies for long!
Um…okay…I’ve learned to not read your blog at work anymore. My heart hurts!! I don’t want my 9 and 5 year old sons to be 9 and 5…I want that time back!! I do miss it already.
Whew, my throat is a burnin’!!
I loved this, so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for reminding us how important it is to live and enjoy the present. It is so easy to get caught up in all the things that “need” to get done, that we are really missing out on such a beautiful gift from God. Thank you for this beautiful post!
perfect day for me to read this. It has been a tiring day. I came online to unwind for a minute while kids nap and watch cartoons. Instead, now I am going to join them and cuddle. It won’t be too long before they are too big to do so.
thank you so much for the beautiful reminder. I need to remember that my children aren’t going to be young forever and I need to cherish every memory because before I know it they will be grown. We just passed the seventh anniversary of burying my oldest brother and I know that my mom looks back on the times when we were young and is filled with so much joy. I want to make great memories with my children.
Thank you for this reminder again…
Your children are blessed to have such loving and caring parents. They are secure in that love and they trust that you will provide for them and also that you will let them be who they are and be that well.
What a blessing you are to each other