I’m going to be in Dallas, Texas soon and plan to offer photoshoots on Saturday the 22nd of May!! I can’t wait! If you’d like to maybe book one, please email me asap at contact (dot) mckmama (at) gmail (dot) com and put Texas in the subject line and I’ll give you the scoop.
Weird. At first, WordPress wouldn’t let me publish my recent post, about air travel with young children, because it was “too long.” Odd. Maybe I should have taken that as a sign that I’m too wordy. Nah. I just sent Lauren an SOS and she came to my rescue. We got it figured out. I mean, she did. What’s that? You weren’t worried? Well, good. Because who needs those worry lines anyway!?
I have one more change to make to my blog, based on feedback you all have given me. Coming soon! Thanks for letting me know what you think! Oh, and for what it’s worth, I do not plan to ditch the new “continue reading” feature on my blog. Among other things, I really like how it organizes my long posts and, as many of you have correctly pointed out, it doesn’t take any more time to click it than it does to click “comments” to leave one or read them. And, when you hit “comments” or “continue reading,” either way the page reloads and you can see the whole post and the comment form. Win, win, in my book! (But, because I love you all, here’s another tip: If you see “…” at the end of a post, you’ll know there’s more to read. If you don’t, you’ll know that was the end! I certainly don’t want you wasting your time clicking “continue reading” for naught. Use that time instead to go plant a straw bale garden or something!)
Do you know what milestone this little guy reached the other day? This guy who likes to go in and out of dilapidated fences. In. And out. Do you know?
You got it! Stellan has been SVT free for 6 months. He’s Pinocchio now: he’s got no strings to hold him down. Amazing. We are so thankful. Even though we are so glad to know that Stellan is healthy now, I’ll admit I’ve been having a hard time emotionally lately. This is exactly as far as long in my current pregnancy as I was with Stellan when we were told he was going to die. Smells (of a hospital), beeping sounds (like a microwave) and music (that I listened to when I was in the hospital with Stellan) have always triggered difficult thoughts and emotions for me. And I knew that I was approaching this same time in my pregnancy, but I was convinced it wouldn’t bother me, wouldn’t spur on challenging thoughts. I was wrong and I’ve been caught completely off-guard by ways that my subconscious mind is dredging up emotions about that very difficult time in my life and in my marriage. I’m so thankful that things are going so well now, health-wise for Stellan and stability-wise for my marriage, but the triggers are coming lately and it’s been pretty hard.
It’s been rainy and cold here still. We haven’t planted in our straw bales yet, for fear of overnight frost, as I mentioned in yesterday’s post. Hopefully soon it will be truly planting weather here! This weekend is supposed to be nice. I’ve been looking through the Etsy sites of these creative women. I’ve been craving salt bagels. Oh, and on a blog related note, those of you who are missing my archive feature needn’t despair. Lauren is working on a new one for my blog so that you can easily find old posts of mine again.
I had a nice girls’ night out dinner last night with my sister and some girlfriends. Got Big Mac some new drawing paper and a used desk. He’s in hog heaven. Actually, he’s at his desk, drawing. Speaking of Heaven, the other day in the car we were talking about going to Heaven. It was a deep conversation that went on and on until we got home, with lots of talk about “wanting to go to Heaven.” As we turned the corner onto our street, Small Fry started to cry, “But I don’t wanna go home! I said I wanna go to Heaven!!”
So do I, Small Fry. So do I.
I just wanted to say that I still think about Stellan often, and I am sooooo thrilled with his SVT-free news, still, all these months later. He is truly a miracle child, and I just love him, as do we all. It’s so heartwarming to see his pictures, to see him so cute and thriving and healthy! God bless that boy!
Sorry about the emotions. The intensity I feel even 2.5 years and 8.5 years after our little Bridget and Dominic had their crisis events, and their deaths still weighs on me. I don’t know if it will ever go away. I think especially for those of us who are a little more sentimental, we notice certain similarities or overlaps a little more. It is the part of enduring, patience, even long-suffering that I think is meant to be a part of God’s plan, though it doesn’t make it easier to know that. Pregnancy is a time of heightened emotion as it is. When we’ve been through the kinds of challenges that really define uncertainty, there is a new dimension of emotional challenge. Keep holding on!
Congrats to Stellan for six months of being SVT free.
And I hope SF and the rest of all our little ones are in no hurry to get to heaven…
Hey! We live in Dallas and would LOVE you to shoot our family. In fact, I am 8.5 months pregnant with our third “mystery baby” and have been too busy to get maternity pics. Anyway, please send me the info if you still have spots available. Would love to meet you!
I know I should be saying something about your milestones in this pregnancy vs Stellan’s and your emotions, but what I really want to say is Stellan, except for my grandchildren of course, is the most beautiful child ever!
Just an idea – if your gonna keep the “cont reading”, maybe have the page you click to after reading most of the article on the first page, go to the spot in the article where it ended, so we dont have to scroll down through a story we have just read on the previous page. Hope that makes sense?
Hi, hang in there, acknowledge the fear, let it run it’s course, and you’ll get through it. So sorry to hear that this fear caught up with you, but I guess it’s only natural after all you have been through with Stellan. I’m sure MckFlurry is just fine. No sense in worrying about something that most likely will not happen.
Liebe Grusse,
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
can you post a “how to” of all the different ways you use your wrap? and which carry ways are appropriate for which age? i have a wrap on loan and only know a few holds…
Hey Jennifer! I am visiting my mom today and I was reading her magazine…low and behold, I see a familiar face! I love the article about you on Woman’s World Magazine, and you (of course) look beautiful.
Nothing to do with this blog post…..sorry, I couldn’t find an Email mechanism…..but I have a question. Didn’t you say at one point that all of the children in Kenya who needed sponsors had been sponsored? But the Compassion web site today (5/15) shows 57 kids in Kenya and some of them waiting for sponsors for over 6 months…..so I’m confused. When you were asked to go to Kenya and advocate for sponsors, was that just for kids in the specific areas your team visited or specific kids picked by some other criteria……’cause it looks like Kenyan kids still need sponsors.
Yes, ALL of the children in Kenya assigned to Compassion US were sponsored! How amazing. Since they were gone, Compassion requested some Kenyan children who were in packets at concerts or online for different countries’ Compassion sites to be assigned to the US Compassion site. So now there are more children to sponsor…they’ve always needed sponsors, but prior to a few weeks ago, were listed elsewhere. Compassion kids are only listed in one place at a time, so that there isn’t the chance of them being double sponsored. Hope that makes sense:)
Yes, makes sense. I hadn’t thought about Compassion’s web sites for different countries listing different children, figured we were seeing them all. Thanks for the info.
Dear friend, you do know that it’s perfectly normal for grief and fear to strike you like this, right? Out of nowhere, a thought, a smell, a song, a memory, a sound. I went through it when pregnant with Kevin, after our 2 miscarriages. The heartache of what we had been through was so real and so strong. The only way to get past it was to praise God. God blessed me so much with Izaak, allowing me not to know I was pregnant until well past the weeks that we had lost babies. I still had fear, but I remembered how freeing it was to praise God in the midst of that fear. Izaak was like healing balm to my infertility battered and scarred spirit. I pray for you that this precious boy that you now carry will be that healing balm to your spirit, the balm that absorbs into the deepest scars, some that you never even knew existed and allows God’s healing power to cover you and fully heal those hurts.
Fear Not.
Much love and mashed potatoes!
Happy 6 months SVT free! I can only begin to imagine what you are going through right now. I did that when my son hit a year anniversary. He had a really bad head trauma in August of 08. I had and still have a really hard time not reliving it over and over again. But the person that said time heals is right. These days the thoughts do not enter my mind as much as they did. I was able to see God’s amazing grace. I still have to try daily to give him all my worries but it is getting easier with time. At least with that issue anyway! I am still praying for you, your family and sweet little Stellan. I will NEVER forget how much that sweet little boy affected me. I have cried so many tears for this sweet, blue eyed babe. Tears of fear and lots of tears of joy!
God Bless and much love!
So happy your boy is healthy! He is a doll!
And I don’t mind clicking to continue reading at all…I love being able to scroll quickly down your main page, and it’s a big improvement over having to click through five pages to read the comments if I want to!
Something I miss about your old blog, and not that it really makes any difference, is your signature at the end of each post! Like I said, not that it really makes any difference, but I enjoyed it! =)
I just wanted to stop in to encourage you and what you are feeling lately – it is COMPLETELY normal and to be expected!!! 21 years ago, almost to the day, my first daughter, Jessie, passed away at the age of 9 months from a genetic disease (Pompe’s Disease – the disease that the recent movie, Extraordinary Measures was about). She was diagnosed with this fatal disease at almost 5 months of age. When I had my second daughter, even though, through prenatal genetic testing, we knew she was healthy/unaffected, when she turned five months old, I had a breakdown that lasted about 6 – 7 months. All of my memories of that age with our first daughter would come rushing back and I was overcome with fear that our second daughter, Chelsea, could really be sick and affected (even though she showed absolutely no signs or symptoms of Pompe’s) and I feared that she and even I might die. I just want to encourage you to recognize what you’re going through is so totally normal and okay and to not feel like something is wrong with you. It will pass with time – as they say, “time heals all wounds”. As simple and trivial that might sound – it is indeed true. God bless! Be at peace and may you, your baby and your pregnancy all be healthy!
I am SO sad I’m going to miss you in Dallas! I am actually in New Mexico and we’ll be in Dallas to see my parents. I would do a photo shoot for sure, but we are only there the 19th and the 25th. BUMMER!
So excited that Stellan is celebraing 6 months SVT FREE. Awesome!
Aww, from the mouth of Babes. you will be so gald that you wrote that moment down someday. So sweet.
And Stellan, sweet Stellan. He still brings tears to my eyes – that miracle boy of yours. I am going to pray for you right now – for peace. I can imagine that hitting this milestone in your pregnancy would bring up lots of memories.
Wow! Can’t believe you changed the site again, just after I learned my way around the old one. LOL…. I love your photos and enjoy the posts on how to improve and change photos too. Can’t believe its been over one year since I started reading about you and your family!! I really admire you, your family and your beliefs (especially how you go after what you want), good luck with the new blog and all of the other changes in your life. P. S. I live in the southern area of the Frozen Tundra, better known as Northern Iowa.
happy 6th month re-birthday sweet Stellan.
So many people prayed for you in the world and today we can see your beautiful smile.
You and your Family being in my heart for my life.
Happy 6-Months SVT Free Stellan! Love the Pictures!! Hoping to get to meet you in Dallas =)
I’m soooo jealous of everyone in TX!! I just moved from TX to NC 2 weeks ago!!! UGH!
wow, 6 blessed months already?!! hooray!!! God is great!
every year walmart does this sale right before school they sale one subject notebooks for like 20 cents. i must buy 200 of them. i have a couple of little artist and this makes there drawings easier to keep up with. then i have other kids who need them for school
oh no! i think i’m going to pout! or cry! may 22 is dance recital for our daughters…aaaaaall day. :0(
seriously, though. a big welcome from us here in Big D! we’ll be glad to have you, and we hope you have a safe, fun trip!
SALT bagels? Oh, my. That sounds like a 24 week pregnant lady’s (which I am as well) dream come true.
DALLAS!!!!!! I am in the DFW area. How amazing. Alas, I also, cannot afford pics right now as I just had #2 a few weeks ago. I would LOVE to meet you. Are you having any kind of get together? Ah I feel like I would be meeting a celebrity…lol
I am in Fort Worth, but I will drive to Dallas in a hearbeat!
How exciting!
The first time I asked Jesus into my heart was when I was 5-years-old. We were driving home from grandma & grandpa’s house when my sister asked how we can get to heaven. To this day I remember that conversation and how I first became a Christian. Just sharing because you never know what is going on in those little minds
Ahh! For real.. I would have loved to meet up in Dallas, but this is my sisters graduation weekend out in La. so we’ll be gone. Super Bummer!
I think you need to make a special trip to Austin
Lots of cool urban areas here for shooting .. *hint hint*
I have never commented before, but I have loved reading your blog. It is a privilege to pray for your family. Would you ever consider coming to beautiful Seattle, Washington for a photo shoot???
Ironic how Stellan will never remember having SVT and you’ll never forget. Thank god for his miracles. Stellan is so special and has touched so many hearts.
i “guess” i can deal with the “cont. reading” thing…
just kidding. jjust drives me nuts when my computer is slow.
yeah for stellan and yeah for the baby. continued healthiness for him.
do come to chicago!! you know you want to!! trying to hook up with your sis next time she comes to Illinois. someday, friend, someday.
so happy that your little man has been svt free for 6 months! what a relief!
Awww Man!!! I got so excited when I read you were coming to Dallas!!! We just moved to Colleyville a few months ago! I would SO have loved to book a session with you for our crazy crew! But that’s the ONE weekend…the ONLY weekend we are leaving or have left town SINCE we moved here almost 9 months ago. I’m so sad!!!! Please, please, please come back soon!!!!! I’m so sad to miss it!
Those little triggers sure do put you back in the place of hurt, but I think of them as a way of God reminding me of how he worked in my life and that everything I was leaning on for strength was really true. Praise God for the miracle he did in adorable Stellan and in your marriage.
Please let me know I would love to have my grandbaby’s photos
I am soo sad right now! My husband and I had totally planned on coming to see you and getting family pictures done when you came to Texas. You picked the one day this month that we are having our two year olds birthday party!! I am just crying right now! Please please please come back to Texas again! (or Oklahoma or Louisianna or New Mexico…)
I am so booked….EXCITED!!!! Thanks so much Mckmama for doing this photoshoot in Dallas. Love your pics and now you get to do mine!! Now the question is should I go all naturaI or put make-up on? HHMMMM..that is the question.
So, we’re in the process of buying our very first home and guess what? I am having the tree picture you e-mailed to me printed out and framed to put in our living room. Can’t wait!
Stream of Chnscienceness is my favorite style of writing. Thank you for (as always) sharing your thoughts and your heart so openly. Your Stellan, and all your children are like Noah’s rainbow, a wonderful vision and reminder of God’s love for us. You are so right about things reaching into our conscience. Music is especially powerful, I think. My wonderful 92 yr old Dad had a terrible stroke 18 months ago. He became suddenly confused and helpless and although he speaks articulately, nothing he says makes sense to us. Even so, if he hears a song he knows–mostly hymns, he can sing all the words to all the verses. I think of it as a channel that God is using to comfort him and hold him close in a way he can understand.
HOW COULD I FORGET??????? I live in Dallas! I don’t want any pics of myself but could I stop by wherever you’re going to be to meet you for 30 seconds? It would be such an honor for me!
PRAISE THE LORD about Stellan’s 1/2 re-birthday! YAY! SF’s comment is so precious.
Praying for you about the pregnancy. Can’t imagine the emotions. Pics of Stellan are so precious. What a big boy he is!
Oh and remember how I emailed you about wanting to do a photo shoot w/ my mom when you mentioned maybe coming to TX? Well, she comes in Sunday night. The Sunday AFTER you do shoots on Saturday. Timing isn’t my friend. *sigh*
I love that fence!!!!! The precious baby boy is pretty darn cute too
Aaaaaah Heaven. Peace. Worship. That song, don’t know who it’s by or what it’s called, but he sings “I wanna sing louder than the angels…”, has always been my heart. Hopefully soon, before this world gets more demoralized.
I’m really really hoping I can see you next weekend. I can’t afford a photo shoot right now, but I really want to turn you into a real life friend!
I am another Julie who was thinking MckMama should do a totally different location, such as my families’ piece of land, on a river bank, in the heart of East Tennessee. Oh well for now…but everyone surely wants to visit the East end of TN eventually. I do so LOVE your photo style, MckMama:)
Great pics. So glad that he is in the clear. Sending sunny thoughts your way…
Of course my Nashville vacay just happens the be when you’re in my hometown. Bummer.
I love the pics! So cute.
And I think it is good to go through this emotional part of your pregnancy, and relate to Stellans. It’s part of your ministry, and yours and Stellans testimony of how far he has come…and your walk with the Lord.
He has broken you down to a place you never wanted or thought you would ever have to go, but through it, you continued to focus on His glory and praising Him, even though your worldly flesh was so beaten.
So cry, and be emotional. And remember back to the days of begging & pleading with God to save your son…all the while He was preparing your heart for His purpose. That is amazing, and something to cry good tears about!
Love it!!!
Yay, DALLAS finally! I sure hope you’ll take some time while you’re in the area to get your picture taken at the McKinney city limit! Passing the McKinney sign every day on my way to work always reminded me of you guys. (I work from home now).
Can’t wait!
SIX months! That is a milestone! I”m glad for you guys. I”m sorry you’re having difficulty with your emotions, I can certainly understand and will be praying for you! We have frequent conversations about Heaven since Seth.. Kayleigh says “One day God will zap me into Heaven by His powers and then I will be with Seth for ALL days”. It’s very sweet to see them come to any kind of understanding about it…
I don’t want to go home, I said I want to go to heaven!- Oh, my word, sooo priceless!
So glad to se Stellan reach milestone after milestone! I’ll be praying for you during this time- I know how hard it can be to have things from past memories/emotions/trials seem to hit out of the blue and how hard it can be soemtimes to stay in the moment and enjoy the peace that passes understanding, but that peace is there and you can trust that! God is good, all the time! (((hugs)))
Stellan is precious!
Dallas? Can’t you come a few hours south to Houston
So thankful for Stellan’s health! What a precious blessing!
Oh, a Houston trip would be great!!!
Bless Stellan’s Heart! Oh…I would love to meet you next weekend! We are soooooo glad that you are coming to D-town, you will love it! There are so many things to do this time of year that are absolutly beautiful…the Dallas Arboretum, The Dallas Aquarium and Zoo…and of course…I live here!
can’t wait, I will send you an e-mail and hope you contact us! 
Speaking of heaven, b/c of what I watched on TV last night the thought of what would happen if I should die was floating around in my mind. Since having kids I’ve often thought that I don’t want to die b/c I don’t want them to be left without a mom. Death in and of itself isn’t what I don’t desire since heaven is the outcome (weird sentence fragment) but the idea of my husband being left to raise the kids alone makes me sad. Then I was wondering if some of that was also me being a control freak and not believing that God would still be in the middle of that type of tragedy and could and would still bring good and take care of my sweet snuggle bums. (Almost wrote snuggle bms, that would be gross).
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You’ve been on my heart a lot lately and I’ll be lifting you up in prayer more specifically now.
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Happy six months SVT free Stellan!
He is so handsom. I am so happy he is 6 month SVT free!! Yipee on the Dallas trip, have fun! I just love small fry to bits, she is to cute!
Hooray for Stellan and praise God! I’m bummed you’ll be in Dallas, if it was Houston, I’d sign up for photos in a half second. Oh well, hopefully next time?
Oh man! We just booked our vacation for next weekend
I would have loved to have you snap shots of my little guys! Hope you have a fun and safe trip!
Oh bless your heart Jennifer!
Lord I pray for comfort as these thoughts come. I pray for a wash of mercy, that these memories would be there as this is something not to forget yet there would be strength and peace in them. Amen.
Wonderful pictures!
Camie
Love the pics of Stellan….6 months SVT FREE…YIPPEE…Love the conversation with Small Fry about Heaven. Our 3 1/2 yr DD has been asking more and more about Jesus and Heaven. So wish we could come to Dallas…Would love to meet you Jennifer. We are in FL in the Panhandle
so funny what Small Fry said! My friend’s little girl (4 yrs. old) was talking to her about Heaven and Jesus. When she said she wanted to accept Jesus in her heart, she said she’d do it in the morning. When my friend questioned her daughter as to why she was waiting, her response was “because I don’t want to die and go to Heaven tonight!” Ofcourse! I love how kids take everything so literally.
WOW!! These past 6 months have flown by. I can’t believe it. YAY, Stellan!!!!!! Well, I guess it should be YAY, God!!!!!!
God bless.
I don’t have any kids but if you decide to do a lunch or dinner with your readers while in Dallas please let us know. I would love to meet you.
Also I think it is time for Stellan to get a Nuggey faux hawk!!!! lol
Wait.!!! Dallas!!! OMG I will be there on the MEMORIAL HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!! Auggggghhhh!!! I’m sure I won’t be able to afford the pics, but would love to see you in person though!!!
I can do relate to you about the “sights and sounds” that dredge up memories! I can remember when returning to work (after my mom passed), the beeping of the copier *alerting that it was out of paper* just sent me over the edge! It came out of nowhere! It still bothers me 5yrs later, but no so much as it did THAT day!
I also noticed that certain scents my 20yr old daughter wears has the same of wonderful scent that my mother exuded! I thought that HER SCENT was so unique to her, but my daughter’s body chemistry mimicks it perfectly! I take solace that is a subtle hint that “she is still amongst us, even in the slightest of ways”!
Lucky Dallas folks!! Maybe one day you can come back to Nashville for a photo shoot :0) Stellan is a totally cute..but I’m sure your aware of that already
!! Hope your family has an awesome weekend!
Lori
I love the pictures of Stellan!! I will be praying for you during this time of difficult memories, my mind is having a field day with me right now with Braedon’s stuff. Just keep looking up and He’ll be there to comfort you. Both he and Israel will give you sources of strength and comfort.
Have fun in Dallas! Too bad it isn’t a few weeks later, we’ll be heading down soon to see my in laws in Dallas. Have a great and safe trip my friend!
He’s gorgeous Jennifer, God Bless.
Great photos of Stellan!! 6 months?!?! YES! That is awesome. And (not that it matters) I have no problem with clicking the “continue reading” link. However, I will say that I am truly a devoted reader and would probably do a whole lot more so that I could read your posts! Besides, now if someone asks, “Are you STILL reading that blog?!” You can say, “Yes, I am, but it’s because I had to click on the continue reading link.”
Haha!! that’s so cute about SF and heaven
and I can *barely* believe that’s Stellan. He looks.. so grown up.. and SO BLONDE! 
I’m also a little sad that you aren’t coming to Virginia or KY.. maybe someday!
oh wow, am I first? Ok, nice post. love the pics of Stellan going in and out of the fence. His expressions remind me so much of my son who is only 2 weeks younger than Stellan. I love that toddler face!