a love letter to my baby

posted on September 2, 2010

Dear Lachlan,

Today you are one month old. I write you this letter so that one day, when you are a big boy who can read, you will know what a special part of our family you were, right from the very beginning.

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One year ago, you were but a twinkle in Daddy’s eye, Lachlan. We saw that twinkle, but we didn’t yet know it was a baby. Our wildest dreams were about to come true. Amazingly, they were dreams we didn’t even realize we were dreaming. At Christmastime, I discovered that you were growing inside of me. Wow, what a beautiful surprise that was!

Only able to keep the knowledge of the little light flickering deep within me a secret from Daddy for a few hours, I shared with him our special news. I let him know he would become a father for the fifth time. I wrapped up this little yellow marble in a tiny box with a bow.

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Daddy was totally unsuspecting as he opened it. Unsuspecting turned to surprised which turned to full of joy. Yes, almost instantly, Daddy was happy. You were our son, you were always meant to be in our family, and soon I would come to know that you held something very special in your hand. I was so full of joy at the news that we were being given another baby, Lachlan. And I was scared, too. I knew how to take care of, how to love and how to be a mother to your sister and brothers. Would I have what it took to add you to our family? You began to grow and grow inside of me, sweet son, yet I didn’t yet realize that it was not what I had that mattered. It was what you had.

Your brothers and sister were so excited to learn that they would be getting a new little baby sibling. We announced our joyful news with pride to anyone who would listen. Stellan would be a big brother. I would be a mama again. We would become a family of seven.

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As you grew bigger, I loved to feel you tumble in my belly, Lachlan. I loved you already. But I had no idea, just no idea at all, how that love was going to manifest itself by the time you were in my arms as a perfect one month old dream of a baby. I knew I loved you then, baby boy. Yet I had no idea I would love you like this. Love you so much it hurts.

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Time went on and your cozy little home grew bigger and bigger. As the time neared for us to meet you, Lachlan, we thought about that happy day with smiles on our faces.

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I remember drawing breath and clutching my stomach when I first saw this image of your tiny face. You were perfect. You were ours. You were Lachlan. Indeed, I could not wait to meet you. It was such a joyful time.

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But bigger joys yet awaited us. My heart was feeling different, although I couldn’t exactly say why. You were another baby, a fourth sweet boy, and I knew what this would feel like. After all, I had your three brothers before you as well as the amazing gift of a little girl. I knew what to expect and was so thankful.

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Oh, but Lachlan, my expectations were wrong. You came out from your dark, soft cocoon and you fit perfectly in my arms. But there was more. I thought I saw something in your hands, though I couldn’t make it clearly out. Your fresh, damp butterfly wings beat against my cheek as I held you close. When you emerged, Lachlan, you changed me. All at once, without warning, I was being reborn. But I didn’t quite understand it at first.

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It was something I never imagined happening, this rebirth. Yes, you have been a special part of our family since the very beginning, my baby. A piece of the puzzle we never dreamed we were even missing. Suddenly, your love flooded over me. I realized the change you were bringing to my life. As I started to know you as my son, I became adrift in an ocean of joy. At once, I held your siblings closer than I ever had. I vowed to love your Daddy fiercer than I had before. To see with clarity the amazing, priceless, fleeting gift that family is. Suddenly, the exhaustion, the chaos, the sleepless nights…all of the things I had been worried about before you were born disappeared into the distance. I haven’t noticed those for a whole month, Lachlan. All I notice is you, your love and the way you are changing our family so beautifully. I never knew there was such a deeper level to my life as a mother to five children that I was missing out on.

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Until you. In one beautiful month, you have taught me more about life and love than I can explain to you in this letter. I can’t explain it, because I don’t completely comprehend it.

One thing I know, though. Finally I understand, sweet Lachlan, because your love has helped me to see. Becoming a mother again, being the vessel that helped to create you, didn’t have anything to do with me or what I had. I know now that it has always been all about you. You possessed all the love and peace that each of us in our family would need as we added a fifth child. All we needed to do was meet you, hold you, breathe you in deeply.

As I stroke your perfect skin tonight, your warmth helps me realize what it was that has been in your tiny hand. It was my heart. And it still is. You hold my heart in your hand, sweet baby boy. And, although I didn’t know it fully until now, you always have. How I survived as long as I did without you, Lachlan, I am sure I will never understand. I simply long for you to understand what a special part of our family you have always been. An integral, vital, eternally important part.

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I love you so much it takes my breath away, Lachlan. Happy one month birthday.

Love,

Mama Continue reading


stream of consciousness

posted on September 2, 2010

The real story behind Small Fry, her tears and the key?

We were outside in the back yard. I was trying (and failing) to get some photographs of MckFlurry alone on this little green table in the tall grass. Yeah, that didn’t work. Stellan was playing with a house key. I didn’t want him to a) put it in his mouth or b) lose it, but I didn’t have the free hands to do anything about it. So I asked him, “Sweetie, would you give that key to your sister?” He did. It was as easy at that. I went on, continuing to fail miserably at my photo shoot idea for a few more minutes, and then Small Fry was crying. Stellan had tried to take the key back from her, apparently with as much brute force as a one year old can muster. I wrapped up what I was (failing at) doing and went over. Camera around my neck, I bent down and dealt with the crisis. As I squatted down, Small Fry asked, “Mama, will you take a picture of me cryin’?” Um, sure. If you want me to. So, I did. She stopped crying after that. Small Fry wanted to see the digital result on the back of my camera (aren’t modern kids so funny that way?) but I told her the picture was way too bright and didn’t really turn out.

So then, with fortitude I believe only a girl could muster, she willed herself to start crying again on the spot. I kid you not. Real tears and everything. “Try it again, Mama!” Oh dear, what kind of monster have I created!? I kept my laughter to myself the best I could, snapped this photograph, and then hugged the tears right out of her eyes once more. She trotted away, with the key (which is now lost, thankyouverymuch), and that was that.

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Kids are so funny. And so are you guys!!

I had a blast picking some winners from my Name That Photo contest with Small Fry’s crying/key photograph. In no particular order, here are the runner’s up:

God help me, which car is mine? by Dorsey. I enjoyed this lighthearted poking fun of my own embarrassing car experience.

Small Cry by Rachel Boldman.

You’re going to miss THIS! by snas. Indeed!!

I really thought that was my Powerwheel…How embarrassing! by ida. Another spoof. Honestly, I never would have thought of that connection! Y’all are clever.

Small Fries do cry. by Lindsey. Hehe. Yes, they do!

Am I my brothers’ key-per? by jlynnmom. Funny stuff!

But I was only trying to unLACH him momma! by Vicki. Great play on words!

And my favorite caption?

Finder’s key-pers, losers weepers. by Natasha. (Who was honest enough to give cindim credit for the inspiration!) So clever! Great work, everyone!!

Homeschooling is going great! And it’s, uh, strikingly similar to our life before Big Mac was in Kindergarten. Which is great with me. I loved our little life together then, which is one of the reasons I wanted to keep teaching Big Mac at home once he got into Kindergarten. Yesterday’s, er, lessons involved making sock puppets out of Dad’s socks and going on a rocking adventure where we learned about agriculture and history.

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More on the latter later.

In other news, MckFlurry is one month old today. After months (and months) of wearing only my glasses, I finally ordered new contact lenses to replace the ones lost when my husband didn’t remember I’d stored them in drinking glasses at a hotel last spring. There is a fascinating discussion right here about the proposed mosque to be build near Ground Zero. And our family is planning a (unique, rustic, outdoorsy, relatively far away) family trip. Big Mac has been filled with so much anticipation that yesterday he could not stop himself from packing up six cardboard boxes full of things he’ll “need at the cabin” and stacking them into our car. Our car is now full and there is no room for me to put anything else in. I’ll have to work on that as well as with Big Mac on the concept that you can’t really pack stuff for a trip ahead of time that you’re going to need in the days before you leave. Oh well. It was downright adorable to see him packing, as it is to see him reminding his siblings when each new day breaks how many days are left before we leave.

I wanted to encourage you again, as I did the other day on Twitter and Facebook, to consider voting for The Little Light House in the competition they are in to win $500,000 for their school. Through my blog, I have become friends with some women who are involved with the amazing school in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The school is for special needs children and is completely tuition free. Yes, they run solely on donations! The prize money would do spectacular things for this special school, which uses a Christian based curriculum for its little students. Here is a short video about the school so you can acquaint yourself with them a little more.

To be a part of the voting (Which ends tomorrow!!), just visit The Little Light House’s website here. Thank you!!!

Have a great Thursday, everyone!! Continue reading


Lachlan. Today. You’re welcome.

posted on September 1, 2010

LachlanSept1


Name That Photo Contest!

posted on August 31, 2010

COMMENTS NOW CLOSED. Stay tuned for the winner later today! Ack! I’m sorry. It’s going to have to be tomorrow! I had a long adventure with the kids this afternoon and I’m pooped! So, I’ll do it tomorrow. Sorry. I can get away with the “I just had a baby” thing still, right? Right!

It’s that time again.

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I’ll tell you the real story behind why I took a picture of Small Fry while she was crying in the backyard, holding a key. But first, I want you to name that photo! Give this photograph a catchy title, clever name or apropos caption which shares what you think is going on in this funny picture.

One entry per person, please. Contest ends tomorrow at noon, at which point I’ll shut ‘er down and pick a winner (or two!).

Name away! Continue reading


Chat live with MckMama!

posted on August 31, 2010

Right now, at this very moment, I am tucked away in my bedroom with MckFlurry while my husband is with our other children. For one hour, from between 11 am until noon Central time, there is a live chat with me going on in my BlogFrog forum!

The live chat is over! That was a ton of fun…and very fast moving!! You can still click on the link below to comment on the thread and read what we all talked about, even though it’s no longer live:

Click here to view the live chat we all had!!

And now…off to the beach with my kids I go! Continue reading


four weeks, a LIVE chat with MckMama and more stream of consciousness

posted on August 30, 2010

It was really hot outside today. We just wrapped up the financial study we did with our small group this summer. Yesterday during rest time, I transformed the office in our house to make it a) more functional and b) look more inviting. I am happy with how it turned out! I framed a set of photographs of Small Fry holding MckFlurry for the first time, because after I posted them so many of you thought that I should! It was a perfect idea, and the photographs look great in the office. Thank you for the inspiration!

Do you have a question you’ve been dying to know the MckAnswer to or just want to chat live with me and a bunch of my readers? You are in luck! On Tuesday morning (That’s tomorrow!) at 11 am Central time, I will be hosting a Live Chat With MckMama! I have had these before, but we only used the comments of a blog post. It wasn’t the quickest or easiest way to do a live chat. However, the fine folks at BlogFrog (Hi, Rusty!) have developed a live chat feature that we will be trying out tomorrow! Just click right here to see where we’ll be having it and also to join in tomorrow morning!!

We’re hoping to go to the Minnesota State Fair while it’s going on this summer. My husband and I are about to start digging into the book The Hole In Our Gospel. I ate some lunchmeat in the middle of the night last night. For the second time since giving birth a few weeks ago, I have thrown away something I just bought at the store. Seriously. Tonight, my husband was asking me where the external hard drive I had picked up at WalMart was. I couldn’t remember bringing it in the house, but it was nowhere to be seen in my car. I assumed I had left it in the shopping cart in the parking lot, and I was so frustrated. Until I walked by the garbage can in our garage. There were some WalMart bags in there. I remembering tossing away some trash when we got home. Sure enough, I had also thrown away the bag with the boxed hard drive in it!! Tomorrow is our garbage day, so thank goodness we went looking for it tonight. I did the very same thing a short while ago. I do not know where my brain is, seriously. Oh and get this. After we found it and spent time rejoicing, my husband said, “It’s alright, Babe. No big deal, but I need to tell you that this is an internal hard drive. Not an external one.” Sigh. He will return it and get the correct one tomorrow, though. I think the fact that I cried when he told me that made him feel sorry for me. But we did get some ridiculously cheap school supplies while we were shopping, so there was that silver lining.

Little Flurry is doing great! This is pretty much when I was due with him, so he’s becoming a bit more of a typical newborn now. Read: Not so sleepy all the time and has a fussy/restless period in the evening. I continue to be smitten with him. So smitten! He is growing great! Our fifth babe was 6 pounds, 13 ounces at birth, left the hospital at 6 pounds, 3 ounces. By his two week checkup, he was 7 pounds even and this past weekend, at three and a half weeks, he weighed 8 pounds, 12 ounces! I am proud of him (and myself!) and happy that he is growing well, but I already have felt bittersweet pangs as I realize he is not going to be little for long. It’s already passing! But I am so thankful to be focused on living these fleeting days in awe of our son. I am soaking him in, sleeping beside his warm body all night long, rejoicing in amazement at being able to have been a part of God’s creation of another human being and smelling his (MckFlurry’s, not God’s) fluffy head with extreme regularity. His dirty diapers make me grin. I haven’t seen the dimple in his left cheek I swear (But I don’t.) I saw when he sleep smiled a number of days ago. And MckFlurry certainly has our family’s nose!

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If this nose looks familiar, it’s because my dad’s looks similar and so does mine. Big Mac basically his baby brother’s exact same nose; Flurry reminds us a lot of him as a newborn! There is quite a bit of Small Fry in our new baby boy, too. When I am asked who I think he looks like, I always say those two. I do see whispers of Nuggey in him from time to time, though. Just for fun, you might want to look at this post. It is a bunch of photographs of Big Mac, from newborn up until almost age two, which is when I started this blog. You can see for yourself if you think MckFlurry looks like him. For sure, both of these boys were blessed with lovely warm skin. Honestly, when Big Mac was born in the dead of winter, people asked me how he got so tan!! Oh, and Flurry is chilling on the couch in an awesome muslin blanket; he got a pack of them as a gift from my dear friend Sandy! They are so perfect, especially for the summer!

Dinner and bedtime these days are getting pretty hard. I know I will find my groove before long; I have before after each baby. But it’s hard right now. My husband works every afternoon and evening, so I am with our MSC during those times. We have great fun, but right before bedtime I am feeling quite ragged around the edges. No lie, I chant to myself quietly, “I’m gonna miss this. I’m gonna miss this.” And it helps. But tonight was exceptionally challenging.

I have caught wind of the fact that there are now Coconut M&Ms, but I have yet to get my hands on any. I had Pretzel M&Ms today and, although the concept is nice, I didn’t care for them a ton. A little on the dry side. It is probably worth noting that I don’t like pretzels to begin with, so there’s that. Big Mac is loving (and rocking!) the Kindergarten math curriculum we got him. He asked spontaneously this afternoon if he could work on it! Our recent camping trip served to whet our appetite for rustic togetherness with our family. So today we planned (No, we’re not only spontaneous!) another outdoorsy summer trip for Labor Day Weekend. I am so excited I can hardly stand it!

All three of our oldest children came running full tilt over to me this afternoon after examining MckFlurry in his bouncy seat. “He has teef! He has teef!” It was hard to break the news to them. We proceeded to have a long discussion about gums, with each of them then examining their own. Later, we all went to a state park to walk the trails. We saw a huge turkey running near us and unfortunately saw scads of mosquitos, too. We ended up having to leave early because of them as they threatened to carry us away. Bummer, but we still had fun during the short time we were there.

And finally, today MckFlurry is four weeks old. Continue reading


Not Me! Monday

posted on August 30, 2010

Are you feeling guilty for going camping with your family and letting your husband do nearly all of the work? Overcome with embarrassment when you checked into the pediatrician’s office and couldn’t remember your child’s birth date? Well, don’t be! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I’d rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

I’ll start!

I did not come up with the idea to go camping with our family (including a three week old). I didn’t ask (er, beg) my husband if we could go. Not me! I am way more rational than to desire sleeping in tents with all of our children, leaving the house a mere 4 hours after deciding we would go.

I did not shed actual tears when my tried and true breast pump breathed its last yesterday. Nope. Who gets that emotional over something like that? Not me!

I didn’t have such a late night on Saturday that I dozed off during church (Again!) on Sunday! How embarrassing that would have been. Good thing there is no way I did it!

And, finally, I didn’t become friends with one of the sweet nurses who took care of me last month when I was hospitalized with kidney trouble and end up inviting her over to our house for a photo shoot with her family yesterday. Not me! Nor did I, right in the middle of our shoot, look down and see an enormous frog in the grass and holler at the top of my lungs for Nuggey to come see it. Nope. I’m super professional and wouldn’t holler during a photoshoot in the first place. And I certainly wouldn’t do it at the top of my lungs or in order to point out a slimy green thing to our animal loving four year old.

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I would never take a few shots of our delighted son and said frog before continuing on with my photoshoot without missing a beat. Nope. That is just not how I roll.

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Not me!

So what do you say? Would you like to share what you have not been up to lately? If so, join the Not Me! Monday fun! Just click continue reading at the bottom of this post to learn more about how to get involved.

Happy Not Me!-ing.


he is

posted on August 29, 2010

he is fuzzy

he is

HeIs

beautiful

he is

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sleepy

he is

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soft

he is

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perfect

he is ours


one life to live, a story about camping and life

posted on August 28, 2010

This started out simply as a post about how our family all went tent camping the other day and about what a blast we had. But, as you probably well know by now, I have mothering and big issues about life on the brain a lot lately. So, the direction of this post kind of, ahem, deviated from my initial, simple idea.

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Just call it poetic license. Or something.

I have but one life to live. We all do. Of course, I have known this for some time. That I have one life to live, as do of course our children, hardly counts as new news. But I’m telling you (again and again) that giving birth to our fifth baby, along with some other big events in my life in the past handful of years, has changed me. Brought a new slant to my mothering. Adjusted my attitude, which definitely needed adjusting in a few ways, towards the long days my husband and I are currently living with five children ages five and under.

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There are times when I really, really want to escape the noise, clamor and needs of my children. But looking down at our sweet newborn, growing already too fast for my taste, reminds me quickly that we have but one life to live. Small Fry, for example, has one life to live. Will I ever regret giving her the chance in that life of hers to eat S’mores for breakfast in her pajamas?

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I’m pretty sure I won’t.

We want the world for our MSC; it’s likely that nearly all parents do. The kind of world I long for my children to have has changed as I’ve aged. What my husband and I desire for our offspring isn’t what the endless commercials that flash on television screens across our nation tell us to desire. The last thing I want our children to become is selfish, entitled creatures who are not satisfied with what they have. I’ve been that creature (I still am at times), and it isn’t pretty. I don’t want to raise little American dream seekers, to allow our children to think that the world revolves around them or to let them believe that having just a little bit more will lead to true contentment.

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I long for our children to enjoy life, to know about Kenya, to savor the small things, to meet children in our own area who are so much less fortunate, to learn help and love and compassion. To embrace the idea that they have but one life to live. There are no do overs.

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I will consider my life well lived if our children (who still wear their Crocs on the wrong feet which still brings a big smile to my face) mature into adults who can see what is eternally important in this life, while also being able to live in, and enjoy, each and every simple moment of their lives as they live it. To know that it is not just the destination in this one life we have to live that matters but the journey as well. And our family believes that the journey doesn’t need to be complicated. Being with our children, running errands as a family, attending church, finding teachable moments as we wander the aisles at Wal-Mart, prioritizing the simple, choosing to be spontaneous with our MSC, camping.

This is the journey we have chosen.

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I was never much of a camper. Or, ahem, a camper at all. I mean, not even a little bit. I loathed the idea of tents just a couple years ago. My idea of roughing it was a cheap hotel with really slow Wi-Fi. But my husband loves to camp. He’s always been much better than me at enjoying the process of life and not needing fancy things to make him happy. And, well, he’s rubbing off on me. And with our fifth baby here in our arms, it is constantly clear to me that we have but one life to live.

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Am I going to look back and regret taking our children camping with four hours notice, leaving in such a hurry that we forgot a few important comforts and outdoor necessities (while certainly remembering the marshmallows for roasting burning)? No. I finally realize that I am not. Instead, I will cherish the memories and photographs we now have of our only daughter, looking out at the lake, wearing a sling I fashioned for her using Flurry’s blanket (at her request) for her to carry her baby (monkey) in.

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We have one life to live.

Am I going to wish we’d stayed home more when MckFlurry was a baby? Will I look back and wish we’d have been worried that he might get sick or that Stellan would have a hard time snoozing in a tent? That we never tent camped because we might have gotten sore backs from sleeping on the ground? Will I be proud that our children ate healthy, organic food every day of their lives and that we never allowed them a weekend of ingesting only cold brats, S’mores and Gatorade?

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No, I don’t think I will. I’m transforming as a mother, and it feels so good. We have one life to live. All of us. So I am trying to say yes more. Yes, you can play with sand in the garage. Yes, I’ll put (even) more bubbles in the bath. Yes, you can eat peanut butter for dinner. Yes, I’ll ask Daddy if he’ll take us camping. (And he said yes!)

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This is it, our one chance at life. I could mope around with regret that I didn’t live this way years ago, that I was too busy being a planner, a worrier and realist. But I’m not going to. Instead, I am so thankful for my children, for they have taught me to dream and to savor every moment. Each one of them, and each year of life I’ve lived since becoming a mother (and each experience I’ve had in those years, namely our trip to Kenya, nearly losing my marriage, struggling financially due in large part to our own poor choices and nearly losing our sweet Stellan), have slowly helped me learn to embrace life. To spend my time remembering that we have one life to live. I think I become a better mother each time I give birth.

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Well, if not that, than at least I for sure get more spontaneous and laid back with each child I birth. Less worried about dirt and schedules and nutrition. More focused on family and faith and relationships. And fun.

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Please don’t misunderstand me, though. I still have a long way to go. I am neither the perfect mother nor always a loving wife. I all too often forget to practice what I preach. But I do not focus on those times. I am so thankful for this blog and humbled that any of you even read it. I am glad to have a place to record some of my failures, but more importantly to celebrate my successes.

They are what I want to remember.

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And, sometimes, our success as parents can be clearly seen in the eyes of our children.

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I don’t know, maybe you’ll think I’m making a whole lot out of just a night of tent camping. But for me, it was huge. Yes, since being married, this was my first time ever sleeping in a tent (You might remember that the last time, which was also the first time, we camped, I might have gone home to the comfort of my own bed after nightfall.). Plus, we camped with a newborn (Which in my opinion is nowhere near as hard as camping with a toddler is.). The other night, under the stars with the six most important people in my life, was amazingly fun. Yes, I’m sure that has something to do with the fact that my husband, who stayed up super late with me, playing cards and eating candy by the campfire, did nearly all of the gruntwork. And because I had an inflatable mattress. And because I slept to the sound of a white noise app (after making my way around our campsite by the light of a flashlight app on my cell phone).

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But I also think it was so amazingly fun because I remember that I have one life to live. Yes, I am so very much enjoying life since becoming a mother, as my children are teaching me great lessons such as those. So, yes, we threw caution to the wind, left sensibility at home, eschewed rational thought, and took our five children ages five and under camping. And not only did we live to tell about it, we also cannot wait to do it again.

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Our MSC were beyond ecstatic when we gave them the news. We threw our tents (we brought two this time) and some gear in our car, ran to Wal-Mart, and off we went!

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My husband is awesome in so many ways, one of which is the fact that he sets camp up all by himself. While I watched our miniature campers find frogs, collect leaves, squeal with joy and break into our marshmallow stash a mere 7 minutes after arriving at our lakeside camping site, he worked.

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Of course, we all got to help make sure the tents were comfortable. They were! I loved sleeping on an air mattress, and MckFlurry did great beside me. I was so very thankful that my husband thought it would be best to bring the Pack-n-Play for Stellan. Our little nearly 22 month old was unsure about falling asleep at the very beginning, but it didn’t take him long before he was out. He slept all night without a hitch; all of the children slept until between 7:30 and 8:30 the next morning. Success in my book!

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There was loads of graham cracker eating, playing in the dirt, story telling and relaxing.

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Our sweet babe did great. Taking him camping was an absolute breeze. The weather was gorgeous: neither too hot nor too cold.

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The setting was perfect for pinecone hunting around our super secluded campsite.

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And Small Fry wore her monkey in the sling I made her for the bulk of the second day we were there. She even wore him again once we were home. Monkey see, monkey do. Literally! She’s an amazingly nurturing “little mama”; I love her heart!

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Rubber mallets, camping chairs, candy and Daddy kept everyone very happy. The tents were the perfect place for me to hang out with the Flurrster, although nursing him by the campfire in the wee hours of the morning was definitely the best.

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I haven’t been able to stop thanking my husband. For taking us camping. For being spontaneous and fun. For living in the moment and teaching me to do the same. For doing the gruntwork when we travel. For being a great dad. For living like we have one life to live. For giving me these children.

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Seeing Nuggey holding “his” baby (He asks all the time now!) in this outfit reminded me of this post, when little Nuggey cradled Stellan in the same romper.

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More dirt, marshmallows and a campfire. Yes, I have one life to live. And this, my friends, is how I want to live it.

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And these are the people I want to live it with. Whether we are camping, jumping on the trampoline, eating hummus, homeschooling at the kitchen table, splashing at the Splash Pad or playing cards into the wee hours of the morning, I cherish these times with my family.

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Before we knew it, though, our camping adventure was over. We (and by we, I of course mean he) took down our tents. We gathered our garbage, wiped the marshmallow stickiness off our fingers the best we could, ate one more brat for old time’s sake and hit the road.

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Another day lived in this one life to live that we all have been given.

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I like life.

CampingAugust2010-3

And now, apparently, I also like camping. Which is still a bit of a weird concept for me to grasp. But I’m getting used to it. Continue reading


sleepy

posted on August 27, 2010

LachlanSleepingDaddysHand


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  • I never thought I'd be married to my childhood crush, the mother of five children ages five and under or have a stay-at-home career as a photographer and blogger. In my former life, I was a Type A, first born, A+ student who became an art teacher as an adult. And now here I am.

    If it seems like we have a picture perfect life, don't be fooled, though. During the past couple years, my husband and I almost lost one of our sons, our marriage and our financial stability. My story is one of intense pain, personal growth and a determination to focus on the positives in life even when it's lemons at every turn. And my story is far from over.

    Being mother to our children is one of my most prized roles. Parenting is my passion. I have other passions, too. Like loving my husband, being sold out for Jesus, living in the Frozen Tundra, breastfeeding and babywearing my children, photography and all things colorful, homeschooling, natural living, traveling, living with no television, cloth diapering, advocating for small government, speaking German, sponsoring children in developing countries, vaccination delaying and straw bale gardening.

    I am not perfect in any of these areas, though. I am proud to admit that I am very much a work in progress. A mother who is just trying to figure out life, one day at a time.



  • I met my husband when we were infants in the church nursery and had a crush on him during our adolescent years. He was too busy being a superstar athlete, running a 4:26.0 mile and being Mr. Popularity to pay too much attention to me until after college. We realized we loved each other and got married six years ago. As our focus has turned from outward inward, I've seen my husband grow in so many ways.

    He is an amazing father, a spontaneous daredevil, has a passion for the Lord and for truth, is transparent about his struggles and not willing to be someone he's not. He is patient and kind, funny and forgiving. When he is not wrestling with our children or mowing the lawn, my husband is a general contractor, loves to fish, watch Netflix, swim laps, read, camp, listen to NeedToBreathe and blog.

    Our commitment to each other in "the good times and bad" has already been tested. We're definitely in this thing together!

  • RedHairDye-6

    Big Mac is our multi-faceted son K. I was pregnant with him for 42 and 1/2 weeks; now he is 5. Our firstborn handles his role of biggest brother impressively well. Big Mac cares for his siblings intensely, is astonishingly independent and amazes us with his deep thinking and sense of humor.

    He is thoughtful, creative, patient, inventive and interested in how mechanical things work. He loves to build and construct and is relatively obsessed with his mother, who is very similar to him in personality. You can often find Big Mac digging in the sandbox, dressed in homemade costumes or eating carrots and hummus. He will be starting Kindergarten at home in the fall.

  • IMG_1399

    MckNugget, our second son C, is nothing short of all boy. Free-spirited, emotional and goofy, our 4 year old Nuggey has a spunk and zeal for life some only dream of. He is an emotional clone of his father and is a big time Daddy's Boy. He is the only one of our children to have freckles like Mama.

    MckNugget loves jumping hay bales, all things creepy crawly and is the fastest runner of our MSC. MckNugget sleeps with his soft blue blankie, sometimes sports a Mohawk and calls Big Mac his "bes' friend." He can usually be found with dirt under his fingernails, holding a snake, a mouse, a toad or a beetle.

  • SmallFrySidebar

    Small Fry is our spirited little 2 year old daughter M. To our otherwise masculine brood of offspring, she adds a touch of feminine sweetness. Our blue eyed beauty loves to wear her baby dolls in a sling, help her mama, rough and tumble with her big brothers and mother her little ones. She's sure that getting a new little brother this year was the best thing that has ever happened to her.

    You can often find our only daughter changing her clothes numerous times a day, asking to hold MckFlurry and chewing gum. She puts bows in her hair when she is supposed to be resting and has great fashion sense. Small Fry loves the outdoors and learning German. She sleeps in a raspberry colored bedroom with her knit baby doll, Ruby.

  • StellanAndNuggey

    MckMuffin is our 1 year old miracle son Stellan. When I was 22 weeks pregnant with him, he was in heart failure. He had SVT, Hydrops fetalis and heart block. At 24 weeks we were told there was no hope for our son, whose heart would not respond to medication. Stellan would be stillborn. We embarked on a journey of faith like nothing we could have ever imagined.

    God blew us away with Stellan's miraculous recovery. He was born alive, healthy and with no sign of SVT! His doctors were sure he had outgrown it and we took him home.

    When Stellan was 4 months old, he began to suffer from SVT again. Our faith walk deepened as we clung to God. Stellan was hospitalized for 6 weeks and had a risky, unsuccessful ablation performed in Boston. Between then and when he turned one, Stellan had a hospitalization in the ICU every single month.

    When Stellan's SVT got so bad that we nearly lost him a few times, once when he coded on the table mere days after he turned 1, he had another emergency ablation. Although the outlook was grim and the hope for complete success was slim, we put our son in God's hands again.

    Why God chose to heal our son on earth is something we cannot fathom. But He did. Stellan's second ablation was a rip roaring success and he has been free from SVT since November 9, 2009 with no permanent damage to his heart.

    Stellan is the light of our lives. A dimpled darling, he loves to cuddle, giggle and be doted on by his three older siblings. We have vowed to never stop praising God for the miracle that Stellan is.

  • FlurryDay5Sidebar

    MckFlurry is our darling newborn son, L. He already has cast a love spell on his mama! We are completely smitten and so very thankful to God for our fourth son.